"In Our Fight With Dr. Moon For Control Of The Polar Ice Caps, We Were Shot Out Of The Air And Run Over With A Steam Roller, The Damages We Suffered; My Withered Arm... And The Loss Of My Intestines!"
"Before We Shake Hands Let Me Just Warn You,That Mine Is Leathered In Savatious Fluid, Thats Just a Fancy Name For Sweat... And I Have a Glandual Problem"
"The Part Of The Pig Where The Poop Comes Out"
"I've Been Around Forty Years, I've Seen Alot Of Stuff, and I've Done Alot Of Sh*t"
"Its Ok If I Get Down On The Ground Because I'm Dirty Anyway"
"My Cat Can Lick Your Cat"
"Hampsters Can Type Better Than People"
"I Like It When There Are People I Don't Know All Over My Computer"
"Well, It Looks Like I'm Gonna Be Goin Sans Pants"
"Uh-oh, Something's Gone Arwy!"
"Good Crowd... Good Crowd..."
"We're In His Dong"
"What, WHAT?"
"I Don't Trust Anything That Bleeds For Five Days And Does'nt Die"
"If I Fib I Won't Get My Man Hair"
"I Wanna Get The Word Out, Just In Case Folks Wanna Know"
"At That Age Is When The Wine Goes Sour"
"Mini..MiniMini-cup?... gosh thats cute.."
"From Now House The Mail Box Will Be Called The MilBox"
"No, No, You Missed The Whole Point, Ya See The Important Part Was That He Got The Hernia From Eating So Much"
"Ow This Chair Is Hot! And It Smells Like Hernia Ointment"
"Ewwwy Your Making Butt Babies"
"Eck, I've been fertilized"
"Say It! Say It!"
"Alight, Big Gulps Eh? Well, See Ya Later!"
"Where's Your Grown Up Protector? Well, Come On, Where's Your Goo Goo Protector?"
"You Got Sexy Ears, I Think I'm Gonna Lick Them"
"I Hope This Does'nt Ruin You're Trading Day"
"Can I Get A Little Of That?"
"I Don't Speak German, But Do You Want Some Of This?"
"Whoa, I Did'nt Know This Had Beans In It"
"Upt, Theres Another One"
"Man, I'm Feeling Good, I Wanna Like Boink A Plastic Dog Or Something"
"Hey ReFer To Me As PoppY!"
"Wow, You Clean Up Nice!"
"Hey, You Look Before You Flush?"
"Have Ye Tried A Baltic Squid?, They Can Suck The Bolts Out Of The Hull Of A Submarine"
"Ok, We Need To Bone Up On The Material, And Bone We Will!!!!
"For Here Or To Stay?"
"Four Weeks Is A Month And A Half"
"I Gotta Look Out, If I Get Hit I Might Get Sued"
"Oh F*ck, You're Name's Brian Too? Sh*t, Now I Gotta Change My Name"
"B*tch motha f*cka, I'm Ripped"
"We Got A 187 in Progress On Crinshaw"
"Got Any Bike Parts?"
"Now Ya See, The Way The Rim Is Bent, And The Way Mind Mind Is Bent,Its Like Neeeeeeeeerooooo"
"Its More Fun To Make Than It Is To Eat"
"Naw, I Just Come In Here To See The Boys, I Get Changed Later"
"Fine... Ok, Well, I Don't Care As Long As I Die With A C*ck In My Mouth"
"Yeah, I Ended Up Painting The Wall, I Got A Buzz From The Paint Though, So It Was Worth It"
"Away Put Your Dong, I mean You No Harm"
"$4.00 For A Freaking Sandwich! This Better Be The Best God Damn Sandwich I've Ever Had.... YOUR LUCKY!!!"
"Uhhhhh, What Am I Doing In The Back Of You're Car? Just Eating The Best GOD DAMN SANDWICH EVER MADE!"
"I'll Pay You $2,000 To Touch Me!"
"You Can Call Him Captain Cock!"
"Heh, Yeah Well... We Got Whipped Man... They Won The Game 12-0 In FOUR INNINGS!!"
- What Are You Doing After This?
- Well I Got A Pretty Sweet Onesome Going On Over At My Place
- Pretty Sweet, Whos It With This Time Ya Crazy Monkey?
- Remember That Girl From That Movie Assaconda
- Yeah?
- So Do I!
- Hey, Remember That Ham Sandwich?
- Hell's Yeah!
- Pretty Sweet!
Nasa Interview
-Did'nt You Die?
-Yes I Did Whats Your Point?
-So they put the shuttle Discovery up into space
-Yes that's correct
-Is that thing ever coming back?
-Uh, it landed a week ago
-How many survivors?
-Everyone survived
-Oh, thats a relief
-What was it like inventing the space shuttle?
-I did'nt invent the space shuttle
-Well, I wonder whoever did made alot of money, and I bet he tried to invent something elseBUT IT WAS'NT AS GOOD!, does your name ever make you hungry?, it makes me hungry because one time I named a sandwich Linda, it was a beautiful sandwich, and guess what kind of sandwich it was?
-A ham sandwich?
-I dunno, it might have been
-When are we finally gonna get over to Mars?
-Well theres a manned expedition being discused..
-No, I mean you and me, we could make an evening of it, we'll head over to mars and I'll bring my sandwich Linda, and we can make sloppy martian love in the back of my dune buggy, so what do ya say? is it a date?
-Ya know, I Don't...
-Its a simple question, do ya wanna go to mars with a dead guy and a sandwich, yes or no? ahem, Also, if we did'nt dream our brains would devour themselves in madness and paranoia, the Viet Kong knew that, thats why they used sleep deprivation as a form of torture, thats all the time we have, join us next week at 9:00 eastern time and watch me eat an entire planet, its gonna be a good show, oh wait.... actually, thats 8:00 eastern time and the planet thing is still on
The Adventure's Of Chino (Chee-no) The Little Pimp
By Black Jesus (Hey-zeus)
Chino - I knight the, KING OF THE STREETS, if they don't know by now soon they will, that you're the meanest son of a bitch there is
Son Of Chino - I CAN DIG IT!
Chino -Now its time to bask in your new found riches, for tonight we got us two bad ass white bitches
(knock, knock)
Chino - Who that is?
Sheriff - It de Sheriff, we know you got them white girls in there, we don't wanna hurt you, we just come for yo pimp cane
Chino - They want my pimp cane 'cause it got the power to get them tricks, they mad at us 'cause they women want our big black..
Son of Chino - ITS THE SHERIFF!
to be continued...
Best Pairings Ever
Conan & Andie
Bart & Milhouse
Lloyd Christmas & Harry Dunn
Beavis & Butthead
Ren & Stimpy
Radioactive Man & Fallout Boy
Falcon Man & Bird Boy
Batman & Robin
C3-PO & R2-D2
Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan
Chewbacca & Han-Solo
many more to come...
Chief
Skip
Capt'n
Sailor
Cheify
Tiger
Killer
Top Gun
Cowboy
Slick
Cowboy
Ace
Kernal
Smoove
Belle'dat
Raught, Raught
Madd Chill
Madd Ill
