On Friday August 27, when Noah turned 5 months old, little did we know that would be our last weekend with him. On Saturday, one of my very best friends, Suzanne, went into labor with her first baby. We all went to the mall, all the while keeping tabs on Suzanne. Amidst our weekend activities, I kept in close contact with her by phone, helping her to breathe and calm her. We ate lunch in the food court, and as Noah slept in his stroller and Nathan munched on his chicken fingers, Scott and I looked at each other and he said to me how lucky we were. Of course I agreed. We seemed to have everything.....On Sunday afternoon, Noah was having a fussy moment. I tried to put him down for a nap, but he wouldn't fall asleep. So, I went and picked him up and decided to try to rock him. In the past, he was so squirmy and fussy that he only liked to be held if you walked him around, but I found that once he settled into my lap, he was asleep. It was the first time he ever let me rock him to sleep. I called for Scott to get the camera and he took pictures of us on the rocker. The last pictures. We feel this was his way of saying goodbye.
Monday, August 30th, the day started out as usual besides a call from Suzanne's husband that she was getting an epidural. I was so excited...her baby was about to be born. I finished feeding Noah, while Scott took care of Nathan, and everyone got out the door. Scott dropped off Nathan and I dropped off Noah. I got to our child-care provider's home, who also watched Nathan as a baby, and as usual, Noah just smiled with delight when she talked to him. I bent down and kissed him in his car seat, and he kicked and smiled. I went to work, as usual, and got a call from Suzanne that her baby girl was born. I was planning to go to the hospital that evening. I was so excited for her. Then, while at my desk, my manager came to get me. She told me there was an accident with Noah.....My world stopped and I repeated the words back to her....I couldn't swallow....She told me to get my things and go downstairs with her. We waited in a conference room. She said Scott was coming to get me. I never saw his truck. Instead I saw him get out of a police car with a police officer. He came in, eyes all red. I said, "Where's Noah? What happened?"......He grabbed me and through his sobs, he said he was dead. DEAD.....We screamed....we fell to the ground.....he said, "They think it's SIDS"..........HOW COULD THIS BE? NO!!!! NO!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!............................................
Noah was 5 months and 3 days old. His marker sums it all up...So Small, So Sweet, So Soon.......WE LOVE YOU NOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We miss you so much...We miss your hearty laugh and your dimples when you smiled......And we miss kissing you all over......You will live in our hearts forever,
Love, Mommy, Daddy, and Nathan.
