By Rina
I yawned, trying to clear the sleep out from another one of my infamous all-day catnaps. Soon it would be time for the Jellicle Ball, and I didn’t want to be late again this year. This time, I wanted to make a good impression on Old Deuteronomy, so I could finally go to the Heavyside Layer and sleep as long as I wanted.
I blinked as light flooded the inside of the old car trunk. Oh, NO! that Mr. Mistoffelees! Look at him, grinning idiotically down at me! He KNEW I was asleep and he just HAD to sabotage my chances! Well, if he thinks that will get HIM any further along… Ooh, I’d love to see if he’d be grinning when I climbed those stairs to the Heavyside Layer.
Uh-oh.. Munkustrap’s getting suspicious. I’ll just plaster this grin on my faceand act like I’m GRATEFUL to the little twerp.
Well, at least Skimbleshanks seems genuinely glad that I’m awake. He’s one thing I’ll miss if I get to go up, I must admit. At least he lets me sleep, unlike that Bustopher Jones that wants to go out eating even in the middle of the night!
Oh, great. The Beetles’ Tattoo! Where’d they come from! Now that’s one thing I WON’T miss. Especially the way they always pretend to poke their forks up my butt when they think I’m not looking!
Munkustrap is shooting meaningful looks at me that I think, judging from how he’s clicking around with Bomb and Dem, mean for me to tap-dance. I never!! I’m supposed to look decrepit and tired, not start cavorting around like a chorus kitten! Oh well, I’ll just look winded afterwards.
Here comes that rubber-pelvised kitten again. HEY! Alright, Munkustrap, you can sit next to me, just leave spitting on me out of the picture! What? He looks surprised! Doesn’t he know by now what his own brother is like? Well, I guess I would have expected him to at least wait until the last song was finished, too.
GRIZABELLA!? Oh, honestly! What does THAT old crone think she’s doing here!? Glamour Cat, my paw. Her mouth looks like a Pollicle’s rectum! She doesn’t have a fighting chance. There’s no way you can get sent to the Heavyside Layer unless you’re in the Jellicle tribe…right?
^-^O~
Well…the rest of the Ball has certainly gone well! Nobody older than I. But now Jellylorum had to drag Gus out! I could just kill that cat. She knew how much I wanted to go to the Heavyside Layer! And nobody could deserve it better than me. I doubt that geezer has ever even HEARD of a Beetles’ Tattoo! But he does look kind of old… He’s thin as a rake…And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake… But I bet that’s exactly what that old sap Deuteronomy’s thinking!
Finally. He’s gone and Skimbleshanks is here! Asleep, but here. And HE’S no threat. Actually, I kind of like his song… It’s kind of catchy…
MACAVITY! Oh Heavyside Layer! Get Jemy, Get Vicky, HIDE. But what are Dem and Bomb doing? Oh, well. It doesn’t matter anymore, Macavity’s gone. It’s nice and dark in here, and I’m tired from all that dancing. Time for a nap!
^-^O~
OH! Forget about killing Jellylorum, I’m going to be too exhausted when I’m done with Mistoffelees! What a showoff! I can hardly believe it! First he had to pull all those fancy-schmancy turns and spins- oh wait, Old Deuteronomy wasn’t here to see that. I wonder where he is…? But it hardly matters now! Even if Mistoffelees danced worse than Grizabella, Deuteronomy would still think he was the Everlasting Cat! Let me explain further. MISTOFFELEES BROUGHT DEUTERONOMY BACK FROM MACAVITY!! And the trick was more glitter than grind- you could say it was more bark than bite. But Old Deuteronomy seemed to think otherwise- he even hugged the cat, by Bast!! I’ve got to think about this later- here comes Grizabella again. Oh PLEASE. She’s pretending to stagger when she was dancing just a few minutes ago!
Wait a second, she’s singing now! Well, even if her mouth looks like a Pollicle’s rectum, her vocal cords seem to be blessed by Bast. Well…her song was kind of sad…maybe there’s more to her than a wig of real human hair… OhmiBast! She really wasn’t faking the staggering thing. She can’t even STAND anymore. Oh, nevermind. Jemima’s got her up and singing again. Well, isn’t that nice… little Victoria is giving her a hug…
AAH!! I TAKE IT BACK!! I TAKE EVERYTHING BACK!! Well, I NEVER! The old crone has mooched a one-way ticket to the Heavyside Layer off old Deuteronomy! This is atrocious! You saw her! She could walk! Ok, maybe she was staggering a little and maybe she collapsed- but that was only once! I- I just can’t even think anymore, I’m so mad!!