Why self mulitation? 1".A feel of mental disintegration, of inability to think."2. "A rage that sometime can't be expressed, or even consciously percieved, toward a powerful figure (or figures)in their life, usually a parent." 
"The self mulitator is looked upon with fear, anger, disgust, and revulsion." She's a person who is desperate need of help and human contact.
"Friends may not be able to generate an inexhaustible amount of caring. they may recoil in fear, or go to the other extreme and try single-handedly to rescue their friend from this self-destructive behavior. it they abandon the sufferer, her illness may deepen. if they attempt to save or rescue her and fail, they may turn away because she would then be a symbol of their own failure. in both scenarios the self-mutilator ends up abandoned."
1."i think that they wouldn't like me anymore. they might even get mad at me. and i would hate myself."2."I keep thinking that i'm at that point, but just when i begin to believe it, i do it again."3."i get everyone tired, and you'll get tired of me too."4. "i would have watched the blood run down my arm, even stain my clothes. i would have wanted to take a bath in my blood. i would have cleaned it up and concealed it afterward to avoid getting caught."
"if we remember that self-mutilating behavior is a symptom for releasing discomfort, emotional pain, and other grievances, we need to realize that the self-harmer must learn other, healthier ways of expressing discomfort and emotional pain. Talk, Trust, healthy attachment, intimacy, and secure communication are the necessary building blocks for change. as we see that the roots of cutting, burning, and other forms of self-mutilation go deep and far back into a person's emotional history, we can understand that the amount of emotional energy the self-harmer will have to expend in order to change theis characteristic of self-destructive behavior is enormous. there is no question that the helper (whether therapist, friend, or family member)must be prepared to expend a fair amount of energy, skill, and knowledge in turn to provoke and facilitate that change."
"the self-mutilator has a history of being hurt, harmed, or molested. when this is the case, mistrust is her security. she will constantly look for opportunities to mistrust helpers. she often invistes harming behavior from her helpers thus confirming her need to mistrust them, as well as her need to hide and protect herself from those who seek to help her. she may do this in a passive manner by not talking during therapy sessions. seeming to daydream in order to escape any connection with her therapist, she is in fact constantly testing. her need to protect herself from others by mistrusting them could frustrate the less than determined helper." "life has taught the self-harmer not to trust anyone, or in less severe cases, to be extremely wary. she will set up many tests for a person to pass before taking even a limited chance to risk such trust."
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