Cutting
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Cutting

 

CUTTING AND HOW IT ALMOST CONTROLLED MY LIFE

 

UPDATE


 

First before i start, i'm putting this page up for cutters and loved ones of. i know it's not alwyas easy to deal with, and it's very difficult to understand and imagine. there's two excellent books on cutting. first, "CUTTING," Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutilation by: Steven Levenkron. And secondly, Bodily Harm by: Karen Conterio and Wendy Lader, Ph.D.
 
 

"A white woman, middle class of above average intelligence who began cutting herself in adolescence. she has low self-esteem and may suffer from bouts of depression. she has trouble relating to people and forming intimate relationships. despite her smarts and education, she has an extremely hard time articulating her thoughts and feelings and a seemingly insatiable need for love and acceptance. Because she did not internalize positive nurturing skills from her parents, she does not take very good care of herself and feels that she is too bad a person "to deserve comforts or luxuries."
 
 

Characteristics of the Self-Injurer

"the person who chooses this behavior is someone who experiences herself as powerless.she may not be docile, timid, or shy in public; she may even be quite outgoing. But no matter how outgoing or confident she seems, she feels alone wherever she is, different from everyone around her, an outsider. She is often plagued by a fear of punishment - usually from a parent - for being deficient, inadequate, a disappointment in a way that was either specifically defined for her, or one that is unspoken but understood."

"like the anorexic, she may feel that she has no one to depend upon or trust with her emotions. that feeling alone will produce fearfulness most of the time, even when there is no immediate cause to fear. so, what we know about his person is that she is afraid, and she may hide behind obsessional thinking or eating disorders as well as self-mutilation to gain relief from her constant state of fear. she is seeking all the relief she can find from her fearfulness. often, she is a high achiever in some area, whether it is in academics, the arts, or athletics. at the same time, she may ignore (and usually does) subjects that don't interest her. her school record may fluctuate from A's to F's.

She is often apologetic even when she has done nothing to apoligize for. she is fearful of what she sees as the imminent danger or resentment others will feel toward her. sometimes, her frequent gratuitous apologies stemming from this fear will annoy and alienate those friends closest to her. she may interpert their withdrawl as an indication that she has been offensive or not apologetic enough and increase the very behavior that repels those around her. still, she is a person generally liked by her peer group, who may identify on a very small scale with her vunerability, a vunerability that most of them are also experiencing to a lesser degree."
 
 

Why self mulitation?
1".A feel of mental disintegration, of inability to think."
2. "A rage that sometime can't be expressed, or even consciously percieved, toward a powerful figure (or figures)in their life, usually a parent."
 
 

"The self mulitator is looked upon with fear, anger, disgust, and revulsion." She's a person who is desperate need of help and human contact.
 
 

"Friends may not be able to generate an inexhaustible amount of caring. they may recoil in fear, or go to the other extreme and try single-handedly to rescue their friend from this self-destructive behavior. it they abandon the sufferer, her illness may deepen. if they attempt to save or rescue her and fail, they may turn away because she would then be a symbol of their own failure. in both scenarios the self-mutilator ends up abandoned."
 
 

1."i think that they wouldn't like me anymore. they might even get mad at me. and i would hate myself."

2."I keep thinking that i'm at that point, but just when i begin to believe it, i do it again."

3."i get everyone tired, and you'll get tired of me too."

4. "i would have watched the blood run down my arm, even stain my clothes. i would have wanted to take a bath in my blood. i would have cleaned it up and concealed it afterward to avoid getting caught."

 
 

"if we remember that self-mutilating behavior is a symptom for releasing discomfort, emotional pain, and other grievances, we need to realize that the self-harmer must learn other, healthier ways of expressing discomfort and emotional pain. Talk, Trust, healthy attachment, intimacy, and secure communication are the necessary building blocks for change.
 

as we see that the roots of cutting, burning, and other forms of self-mutilation go deep and far back into a person's emotional history, we can understand that the amount of emotional energy the self-harmer will have to expend in order to change theis characteristic of self-destructive behavior is enormous. there is no question that the helper (whether therapist, friend, or family member)must be prepared to expend a fair amount of energy, skill, and knowledge in turn to provoke and facilitate that change."
 
 

"the self-mutilator has a history of being hurt, harmed, or molested. when this is the case, mistrust is her security. she will constantly look for opportunities to mistrust helpers. she often invistes harming behavior from her helpers thus confirming her need to mistrust them, as well as her need to hide and protect herself from those who seek to help her. she may do this in a passive manner by not talking during therapy sessions. seeming to daydream in order to escape any connection with her therapist, she is in fact constantly testing. her need to protect herself from others by mistrusting them could frustrate the less than determined helper."

"life has taught the self-harmer not to trust anyone, or in less severe cases, to be extremely wary. she will set up many tests for a person to pass before taking even a limited chance to risk such trust."
 
 

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All of the Quotes have been taken from the book, "CUTTING," Understand and Overcoming Self-Mutilation
 
 
My Favorite Links

Some of My Favorite Quotes
Click here to go to My Life
My GAY PRIDE page
My Phantom of the Opera page
My Piercing and Tattooing page
My Suicide Story
Pictures
Pictures of friends
Webrings that i belong to
Wright State University's Lambda Union
A local group for teens
Piercing Mildred - Where You Can Pierce WIthout The Pain
Student.com - A Great Place To Find Out About School
Tonys Online - A Link To Today's Broadway Shows
Flesh Canvas Online - A Great Tattoo And Piercing Site
Bluemountain Postcards - Send An Online Greeting
Body Modification Ezine
PridePals Webpage
The Chathouse - A Great Place To Chat
Moviewavs.com - Find A Sound From Any Movie

 

 
 

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