Disclaimers: The characters and places of the Magnificent Seven do not belong to me. No money or profit was gained from this piece of fiction.

Warnings: None. This is not a death fic.

Thanks to betas: Mary, Carolyn, Mackie, Katie and Penny.

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Part 1

Rain, rain, rain and more rain. It saturated the earth, swelled creeks past their banks and snaked down his collar. Buck took a few steps off the muddy path and bent to study the ground again. Water that had gathered in his hat brim emptied at his feet. He drew JD's attention with a sharp sigh.

"We're not gonna find anything, kid." He straightened and stretched his back. "Everything's been wiped clean by this damn rain. Even if the boy passed through here, we'd never know."

He and JD had chosen to search the land west from the Bennett farm where hills rolled gently away to a stand of trees with a creek threading through it. A small boy could lose himself in those woods -- hell, anyone could. He'd expected to find the missing child there, but Joseph Bennett must have reasoned differently. The woods were empty.

He watched JD reach up and hold his heavy winter coat closed beneath his chin. His mouth opened and vapor steamed into the cold air. Even from a distance, Buck saw him shivering. Dark hair, tucked under his hat, spiked into black thorns that stuck out from behind his ears.

"Hope Vin and Josiah had better luck than we did."

Buck nodded. "If anyone can find a lost kid in this mess, Vin can." He wondered grudgingly if the rain was as bad to the north, where Vin and Josiah were looking, or if it was any warmer in their neck of the woods. Inane thoughts, but they still tickled a smile out of his lips.

When she had sensed the storm approaching, Mrs. Bennett had searched all the places a three-year-old might get to. By the time Mr. Bennett returned with help from town, her fears had escalated to a desperate panic unmatched by the storm's fury. The memory of her face sent a shaft of sympathy through Buck's chest. He rubbed hard at the feeling with the heel of his hand and squinted through the rain, hoping something would stand out to him, some sign that Joseph had walked through here. Nothing but drooping branches, dripping leaves and soggy underbrush greeted his stare.

Tilting his head, he gazed through the treetops at the lowering sky and tried to find the sun. "I reckon we've been at it more'n half a day. I'm figurin' we'll hear some news when we get back to the farm." Bringing his gaze back to JD, he continued, "What's say we get the horses and go check in. See if they've already brought the boy home."

JD nodded, but he paused before joining Buck. "Just don't feel right, leavin' without knowin'."

"I know." Buck turned with JD. His long legs swung in a wide stride, heading back for the horses. "Tell you what." He clasped JD's shoulder. "If Joseph ain't home yet, we'll grab us somethin' warm to chase out this chill, then head back out for another look."

"It'll be dark by then."

He watched as JD's face turned up to scrutinize him and knew the kid could read his expression. He schooled his features into a reassuring smile. "Don't matter."

"It's a deal."

<><><>

Buck heard the rumble of rushing water and felt a subtle vibration beneath his feet before they reached the ravine they'd crossed earlier, but he stubbornly denied the anxiety that twisted his stomach. His suspicions became reality when they broke through the undergrowth and stood on the steep bank. Taking a few steps down the side, he reached back with one hand and grabbed a bush to hold his balance.

This morning they'd left their horses at an old shack and climbed down the sloping sides of the ravine, easily jumping across to climb up this side. Now, muddy water churned down the middle of the chute, seething and slapping into foamy waves that were sure to get them wet up to their ears. While they were already nearly soaked through to the bone, he didn't relish water rushing up his nose, or having to slough off the thick mud that would stick to everything.

He stood balanced on the balls of his feet, fingers clenched tight to hold his position in the mud-slick bank. JD joined him, nearly sliding past until he snagged his arm. "It's too deep. We ain't goin' back this way, that's for sure."

"I'll check on up and see how things look," JD offered. He pulled away from the embankment and Buck let him go. JD's boot heels spun in the mud like a wagon wheel without purchase. Buck lent a hand and pushed against his rump, sending JD back up and over the edge of the ravine to level ground. He heard a hissed curse over his shoulder, but just grinned instead of looking back.

Within moments, JD called to him. Buck twisted around and pulled his way back up. He saw JD farther down the creek waving his arm above his head and trudged through the rain and bushes to reach him.

JD pointed. "Found a place we might can jump across."

The parallel edges of the ravine meandered through the woods like two snakes dancing side-by-side. In some places, time and the elements conspired together and carved them far apart, forming the scooped out gully they'd crossed this morning. But JD had discovered a place where the two sides narrowed, barely close enough to jump safely. Earth had been gouged away from beneath the overhanging banks, creating an almost vertical drop to the water several feet below. Warm blankets and hot coffee called to him, and Buck decided to risk it. Besides, if he went first, he'd be there to catch JD.

As if reading his concern, JD glanced over his shoulder. "There might be another spot further on that's better."

"We can make this." Buck grinned and stepped back, preparing for his jump. "'Sides, the quicker we cross this, the quicker we get home. And there's nothin' I want more right now than to be warm and dry."

Without a warning, he shot forward. Arms spread, legs pumping, he jumped the creek with a loud whoop. He hit the ground hard and fell to his knees. The jarring landing vibrated through his legs.

"You're a nut, Buck!" The shout bubbled with laughter, and Buck grinned.

He turned to watch just as JD jumped. The young man landed with a thump next to him. Buck caught one arm to steady him, then let go to push himself to his feet. Abruptly, soft ground gave way under the relentless pounding rain. The edges of the ravine crumbled beneath their weight. After a panicked moment of balancing on his heels, Buck lunged forward to safety.

"Buck!"

The fearful cry jolted through his body. He twisted around to see JD scrambling; limbs swimming frantically through the air as gravity pulled him inexorably back toward the deep ravine.

The moment condensed into a vibrant pinpoint of time. The storm faded as fear burst into his heart, blowing everything else out of his mind.

He dove, stretching his body as far and as long as he could. The impact of hard earth against his chest forced a wuff of air from his lungs. He scrabbled for JD's arm and grabbed hold tight enough to bruise. A wrenching pull deep in his shoulders signaled a stop to JD's fall. Relief flooded his heart. Buck pulled a shuddering breath into laboring lungs.

Rain stabbed beneath his hat brim and stung his eyes. He blinked to clear his vision. Keeping his fingers locked around JD's wrists, he looked down through the frame of their connected arms into JD's face.

Elation pushed a giddy laugh from his throat. Ridiculous, but he couldn't help it. "Damn, kid! We just 'bout used up all our luck today!" He had to shout to be heard over the storm.

Freedom from near disaster intoxicated him, and he gulped back his laughter. He watched as JD's fear-widened eyes relaxed, then shrunk down to crinkled half-moons as tension released him, too. Pressed up against that muddy bank, his clothes rain-glued to his shaking frame, JD began laughing.

A strange swell of noise pressed against Buck's ears. The sound of heavy movement, a persistent thundering erupting through the hissing rain, tapped him insistently on the shoulder. He turned his head.

"What the hell is that?" Reflectively, he tightened his grip on JD but didn't try and pull him up. Muscles through his arms and shoulders quivered with strain. The cold ground diluted his strength, turned his energy into water that dripped from his bones. But the brown, heaving flood tide he saw crashing toward them sent a jolt of adrenaline through his body.

The crest engulfed the narrow bottlenecked ravine with an angry roar, eating away the ground. Big tree trunks and smaller limbs along with hard-packed jumbles of uprooted underbrush rolled in a mighty turbulent wave, filling and nearly overflowing the ravine's high banks.

A wordless yell strangled through his throat. He pulled, fingers clutching like talons into JD's coat. His back hunched, and his muscles contracted into steel bands, scaffolding his frame with power. The flood slammed into them, shaking the ground vigorously, and nearly yanked JD from his grasp. Despite the wild tumultuous noise he heard JD cry out painfully. One wet arm eeled from his grasp. He fought to keep both hands around the other. His fingertips were numb from the tightness of his grip.

The muscles in his back burned as he set his knees against the ground and tugged. Flashing glimpses of JD's frame, twisting in the swift current, were all Buck could see through the blinding storm. He drew in a deep breath, gathered his strength, and pulled.

JD came free suddenly. Buck overbalanced and flopped to his belly on the ground, JD tucked against his side. For a moment he could only breathe, sucking noisily at wet air. His earlier elation returned. He rolled to his side to check on JD. The young man lay pressed against him, facing away -- his billowing ribs an eloquent declaration of the near disaster.

A weak laugh percolated from Buck's chest and bubbled out of his mouth. "Guess our stash of luck is empty now, huh, kid?" He lazily pulled one arm over in a broad arc to land on JD's chest. JD tightened around himself at the touch and shuddered. Worry knotted Buck's gut. He leaned closer while rolling JD to him and gasped, shock sucking the air from his lungs. "JD? "

JD's hands, pale as lady's gloves against the wet darkness of his vest, clutched protectively around a small, broken off nub of a limb protruding from his side. He's hurt. The thought floated somewhere in his head, then with whip-fire abruptness, arrowed through his heart.

Balanced on his uninjured side, the sharp angles of his knees and elbows looked like pieces of a broken toy against the ground. JD's head lolled back in the crook of Buck's elbow and eyes nearly as big as plates stared at him. Buck felt tiny tremors shake through JD.

"I, I t-think we got a problem, Buck."

Buck licked his lips and drew in a shuddering breath. "No kiddin'." He reached out carefully and brushed against the short piece of stick. JD pulled in a quick breath. His body rolled slightly forward until his face slipped into the pocket between Buck's neck and shoulder. Warm breath heated his skin and Buck shivered. He turned his hand up and looked at his palm. Dark wine-red blood coated his fingertips, but the rain washed it away quickly.

He pulled back and gently pushed JD away so he could look into his face. "Don't pull it out."

JD's eyes widened and he shook his head weakly before lowering it to Buck's shoulder. "Last thing -- I wanna do right now -- don't worry."

Buck spread his hand against JD's back. "I gotta get you out of this rain and take a look. Can you stand?"

JD nodded, his face rubbing rough against Buck's coat. "Yeah."

He tucked his free arm behind JD, sliding long fingers beneath his armpit and pressing his other hand against JD's chest. Sinewy muscles tightened and strained in his lower back as he shifted them both to their feet. JD's ribs contracted with a low grunt of pain. Buck felt him draw in on himself when he stood.

How bad is he hurt? The question repeated itself in his head. He adamantly refused to entertain thoughts of death. First things first: find shelter.

Overhead branches caught some of the rain, thinning out the iron-gray curtain of water. The storm-darkened sky tricked a man into believing it was later in the evening than it really was. Wet leaves slicked the ground, making the footing treacherous. Cold seeped into their skin through their wet clothes. Buck held JD tucked in against him, using his strength to keep them both up. JD's hitching breaths caught with every other step. Despair nagged at Buck, trying to convince him to sit down and let JD rest. The young man walked slumped over, his head bobbing gently beneath Buck's chin. The need to get JD out of the cold and rain shouted louder than the urge to rest. Buck pressed on.

Alternate choices branched off like tributaries in his head. He found himself questioning his foolhardy decision to jump the creek. There were many times in his life where he wished he could take a moment back and relive it, or make a different choice than the one he'd made. The second JD had landed beside him on the ravine's edge was a relief too short to remember. Heart-squeezing terror had burgeoned inside him. The fight to wrestle JD away from the flood was a blink in time. There wasn't a moment to think or question, only time to do.

He lowered the brace of his shoulders, slanting his tall height to accommodate JD, then adjusted his arm tighter around his friend. JD's frame vibrated with shivers; the meager warmth trapped between their bodies wasn't enough. Responsibility and guilt weighed him down, bent his back like two anvils sitting on the top of his shoulders. Murmurs passed his lips, quiet sounds offering encouragement when JD's steps faltered. The words he wanted to say and the questions he wanted to ask couldn't escape the iron bars of his fear.

"Was nobody's fault, Buck."

Buck started involuntarily, shocked how JD's quiet words followed his train of thought.

"No one but an idiot -- could wind up with a stick through their side -- 'cause of a flash flood." A huff of air punctuated the announcement and Buck smiled.

"Save your breath, kid. We're almost there." Still, JD's attempt at giving him absolution spread warmth through the icicles forming on his heart.

Part 2

The deserted cabin where they'd left the horses sheltered materialized through the rain and trees. Buck stumbled toward it gratefully, aware of JD's weight dragging heavier and heavier beside him. Get inside, get a fire going and get these wet clothes off him. His list of things to do became an endless litany in his head, mundane chores preferable to the anguish that rumbled steadily behind his thoughts. He refused to give voice to his despair, afraid that pulling it out into the open, it would spread and engulf him.

The horses' whinnies welcomed them. Buck sent them a silent promise to see to their needs soon, then shifted sideways to slide through the half-rotted door. The floor inside was mostly dry, at least, but the room felt as cold as a tomb. A stone fireplace opened in one of the four walls, the crumbling structure barely sufficient to send smoke up the chimney instead of back into the room. They'd piled their bedrolls and saddles near the front of the stone hearth -- the only part of the floor that wasn't dirt. Cold tightened his joints, turning his movements into an awkward stuttering of his usual grace. He led JD toward the fireplace and helped him down, noticing with alarm the coolness of his skin when he touched his hand.

Fading twilight and rain-darkened boards painted the walls in alternating stripes of gray and black. It was too dark to see anything but the recognizable lumps of their saddles. First, they needed to get warm. Hoping to bring Joseph Bennett to their shelter, Buck had stacked the firewood in a corner near the stone fireplace.

"Glad Vin talked me into totin' some wood." JD didn't answer and the silence unnerved him. The pattering rain muffled his ears; he couldn't even hear JD breathing.

He felt his way through the darkness until his quivering hands brushed along the stash of wood. Grabbing a few of the smaller branches, he pivoted on his heels and dumped the load in the fireplace. Dipping his fingers into his pocket, he withdrew a piece of flint and gripped it between trembling, frozen fingers. A few sharp cracks of rock against rock, and a spark quickly caught in the dry wood.

"Don't you worry none, JD. I'll have us a fire goin' before you know it." The words streamed out of his mouth without thought, nearly smothered in the uneasy silence. He wished for Ezra to fill in the gaps; the gambler's five-dollar words would be handy right now to help keep JD's mind off things, off the cold, off his pain.

Buck stole a glance at JD, but darkness still blanketed the room. Turning back to his task, he fed the fire carefully, adding thicker branches to build it up slowly. The tiny flames offered paltry warmth, creating a small bubble of heat and light that haloed from the fireplace. Satisfied it would burn without his attention, Buck rubbed his hands together and shifted to JD.

JD lay on his side, his shivering body curled rigidly tight. A dark puddle of rain had gathered beneath him. Buck slipped his hand beneath JD's neck. A stuttering pulse vibrated against his palm. Maneuvering behind JD, he carefully gripped his shoulder and winced when water squeezed from the cold, wet material. Nervous energy forced words out of his mouth. "Looks like you took a bath in your clothes, son."

The attempt at humor fell flat, not even soliciting a grunt from JD. Deciding he'd be better off keeping his mouth closed, Buck reached for his saddlebags.

Firelight brightened their corner. Warmth grew with the light. The burning wood popped and hissed into the heavy silence. Buck was grateful for the distraction. His fingers trembled with something other than cold, something he wasn't ready to face. Withdrawing his knife from his supplies, he set it aside and bent over his friend. "Just gonna take a look here and see what we got, JD."

JD loosened his grip against his side and snaked one hand around Buck's wrist. Muted light scooped dark shadows in the skin beneath his eyes and in the hollows of his cheeks. He gathered himself and rolled onto his side, leaning into Buck's legs for balance. His trembling registered through Buck's bones.

"I'm ready." Wide and trusting eyes locked onto Buck's.

Uncomfortable under that measuring gaze, Buck resisted the urge to ask JD not to look. JD would judge the seriousness of the injury by watching his expression, and it set him on edge.

Gently pulling his wrist from JD's grasp, he twisted his hand to squeeze hard around JD's. Letting go he hooked his fingers into the young man's cuff and carefully tugged the sleeve while JD pulled his arm out. Grunts burst from between JD's lips with his stiff movements. Fortunately, the branch hadn't stabbed through the coat, so the garment was relatively easy to remove. The rain-soaked shirt underneath lay glued to his skin, adapting the color of flesh. Blood painted the torn area around the wound, spreading through the wet material like watercolor on a saturated canvas.

JD adjusted his arm across his body and pressed his hand to the floor. His torso quivered with strain and low moans rumbled through him with every breath, but he held his position steady, watching. Buck knew his face to be a mirror of what he saw. He picked up his knife. Sliding the tip into the torn shirt, he ripped the material open. The stick penetrated JD's side just below his ribs. The slender-boned cage expanded when he gasped then shuddered as his lungs emptied. The hollow basin of his belly scooped down from the ridge of bones, pulling away from his waistband as he sucked in air again.

"It's b-bad --"

The tremulous words resonated high in JD's narrow chest. Buck felt them against his legs where JD's weight leaned into him. A brief moment of sheer terror shredded his heart and rose up to squeeze his eyes shut. He blinked them open an instant later. Setting down his knife, he lifted his hand and touched trembling fingers to JD's side. Most of the stick had broken off, leaving only a nub showing through the skin. JD flinched and moaned. He pressed harder against Buck's legs, away from the touch. He lifted his arm and clamped pale fingers around Buck's forearm.

"I --" Buck cleared his throat, using the stolen second to regain his control. "I ain't gonna lie to ya, kid. It looks bad." He bowed his back, leaning over until his face hung over JD and knew the light from the fire brightened his eyes so JD could see the truth in them. He heard the tiny clicking of JD's teeth chattering together. "But you ain't gonna die. All we gotta do is make it through tonight and get back to town tomorrow."

"Easy ... as pie." JD's eyes rolled shut. He pressed his head against the floor. The flat-planed underside of his jaw caught yellow light from the fire and accentuated the pale arch of his throat. Lying there hurt and bloody, shivering and wet, he looked too vulnerable.

"Yeah." Buck gently flexed his fingers beneath JD's neck, adjusting his palm more comfortably. Responsibility crowded out air and made it hard to breathe. He'd always believed thinking with his heart instead of his head gave him an advantage most men overlooked. But he was beginning to see the disadvantages. Surely his hard head wouldn't hurt or throb as much as his heart right now if he let it handle the burden of caring and worrying.

Sliding his hand over JD's side, he pressed gently into his belly. When a man was bleeding out his stomach got hard, like a boulder had settled in his gut. Soft flesh depressed beneath his touch and a strained grunt pushed out of JD's mouth. Relief washed over Buck like someone had emptied a bucket of water on top of his head. Maybe JD wasn't hurt as bad as he thought. Maybe he was right: make it through the night and get JD back to town tomorrow, and everything would be okay. Maybe.

Night settled in. Darkness seeped through the warped boards to hover in the corners of the small room. The persistent drum of rain faded to spattering drops.

Buck managed to get JD's wet clothes off and thread his extra long johns on. He cut a slit down the side to accommodate the wound. Covering him with one dry bedroll, he slid the other beneath him. He rolled the horse blankets into bundles and stacked them behind him, propping him on his side. All their extra shirts were used as bandages, ripped into strips and bundled around the small bit of stick and around JD's middle in an effort to control the bleeding. Nathan's tea came to mind, but even if he knew what the man used in that awful tasting bile he shoved down their throats, he didn't know where to find it. Vin would come in handy right about now, too. Come to think of it, having all the boys with him now wouldn't be such a bad idea. A canvas of loneliness surrounded him, cutting him off from hope. He had the eerie feeling that if he walked outside, he'd find the earth had fallen away and left their little cabin behind.

Retreating back to the things he knew needed doing, Buck grabbed a pot from his supplies and hurried out to get more water. They'd had two canteens filled with water between them, but he'd used at least half to clean JD's wound and some of the mud from his face. Blood loss made a man thirsty. Since JD didn't seem to be bleeding out, it'd be safe to offer him some. It took only a few minutes to fill the pot with rainwater. Buck returned to the cabin.

JD hadn't stirred. He'd tucked one arm beneath his head as a pillow; his shoulders were hunched up nearly to his ears to hide his face. While JD slept, Buck quickly changed out of his wet clothes into a pair of dry long johns and pants. He'd used his extra shirt for bandages, but nervous energy warmed him; the thin layer of cotton was enough for now. Sliding one arm into his heavy coat, he glanced down at JD. JD's free arm lay across his chest, the hand curled tightly under his chin. Shadow hid all but his quivering fingertips. On his knees, Buck leaned over. He gently pressed his knuckles into JD's cheek and brushed lightly across his face. JD shivered; a moan parted his lips. He's still cold.

"Aw, kid." Shrugging out of his coat, Buck draped it across JD's back and shoulders, adjusting it to spread over his hip. He avoided disturbing the wound, but checked to see how much blood had seeped into the bandages. Despair danced along the fringes of his mind, taunting him. Shock and cold suddenly loomed just as dangerous as internal bleeding had before. His earlier thoughts of hope seemed to shrivel and melt.

Without warning JD's eyes opened. Heavy brows drew together in a frown, plowing deep lines in his forehead. Clear hazel eyes rolled to look at Buck. "How long's it been?"

Buck patted his hip where he kept his pocket watch but didn't pull it out. "Night's nearly half gone," he lied. Barely an hour had passed since they'd arrived at the cabin. He shifted around so JD could see him without twisting his neck. The fire spread warm as a quilt against his back.

His coat had slid from JD's shoulders. Buck reached to tug it back into place, then brushed his fingers lightly across his cheek. "Go back to sleep, now. Next time you wake up, it'll be mornin'."

"Buck." JD spoke so softly, his voice a whisper of sound nearly lost in the pattering raindrops hitting the roof.

A deep sigh pulled Buck's shoulders back and he smiled. Fond exasperation shaded his words. "What is it?"

"I'm dyin'."

JD's declaration rang like the solemn peal of a church bell. Buck pushed his weight forward, slapping one hand down to support himself against the floor. "The hell you say."

"No, I can -- feel it." Softly spoken words, offering comfort but giving pain. JD pulled his hand from where he'd tucked it under his chin and rubbed his palm across his chest. "Deep in my bones, I feel it."

Buck's nostrils flared as slow kindling anger burned hot in his face. "You're not gonna die, JD." He rose to his knees. His shadow crawled over JD, wavering and undulating with the flames behind him. "So stop sayin' that."

A gentle laugh, more a huff of air, passed JD's lips. "Hell, Buck, we're stuck out here -- in the middle of no --" His teeth snapped shut so hard they clicked. He twisted his face into the crook of his bent arm and reached for his wound with a palsied hand, groaning pitifully.

"Dammit, kid." Buck scooted forward. He threaded his fingers through JD's hair and cupped the top of his head. Gently pulling JD's hand from the wound, he held still while JD clutched desperately for his hand. The weave of their fingers braided tightly together.

"Take it easy, now." A hard breath gushed from JD, then another. Buck grimaced, helplessly watching his friend suffer. Abruptly, JD melted into the bedroll and his features softened. His pulse beat in Buck's palm, where their hands pressed together. Exhaustion cut his strings like a puppet unhinged and Buck settled to the floor. The fire's forgotten heat flickered at his back.

<><><>

Buck sat cross-legged near JD's head, facing the fire. The flames were hypnotizing, dancing and changing colors. Thoughts swirled like ground fog in his head, but none of the drifting images hooked him away from the numb floating feeling. He sipped his coffee. A log, burned nearly in two, finally snapped. Its shape dissolved to ash in the glowing pile of red-hot coals. Buck reached for the nearby stack of wood and threw another large stick onto the fire. Embers burst into a fireworks display that slowly flitted upward through the chimney.

A hitch in JD's breathing alerted him to a change in the young man. Setting his cup down quickly, he shifted to JD's side. Color had bled into his cheeks. Beads of sweat dewed the skin above his lips and slicked the sides of his face. Buck palmed his brow and bit back a curse with the heat he found. Fever.

Heavy lashes rolled lazily open. Unfocused eyes shifted back and forth. "Buck?"

"Right here."

JD's eyes closed. He breathed in deeply through his nose then opened his mouth to let the air escape. "Couldn't find you."

Despair pinched his eyes shut for a moment before Buck blinked them open again. "I ain't goin' nowhere, JD." He's not gonna die, dammit! The silent admonition did nothing to bolster his sinking heart.

"I want --" JD swallowed so hard Buck saw it in his throat. "I want you to promise me somethin'."

Buck grinned weakly, reaching desperately for something to kill the black place opening inside him. "Don't ask me to convince Nathan not to give you none 'a his tea, JD. Once we get back to town you know that's the first thing he'll do. Hell, kid, I know it tastes awful but--"

"No."

The soft susurration held the power of a blow to his stomach. Buck choked off his feeble attempt at humor. He opened his mouth but his throat closed off and he couldn't speak.

"I want you to promise -- " JD's eyes opened. His measuring gaze locked onto Buck. "Don't bury me in the cemetery."

"Ah, hell, JD." Anger sprang to his rescue. "What's all this talk 'bout dyin'? I told you, you ain't gonna die."

JD's mouth opened but Buck pulled away and rose to his feet. "No!" He stomped across the ground, his steps heavy with anger he couldn't allow to explode. Grabbing a canteen, he hurried back to JD and dropped to his knees beside him. "Here's some water." Working his hand beneath JD's head, he gently supported him from the floor. Dribbles leaked out the corners of his mouth and wet his chin. He indicated he'd had enough. Buck recapped the canteen and laid it aside, then used one of the extra bandages to wipe the water from JD's face.

JD's hand stole up to grasp Buck's wrist. "You remember that old tree -- a couple of miles out 'a town?" Buck frowned and JD pushed on, apparently reading confusion on his face. "You pointed it out to me one day -- said it'd make a good -- kissin' tree."

Memory brought a smile to his face. "Yeah, I remember."

"Bury me there. Not in the cemetery."

"JD --!" Buck tried to pull away but JD's fingers tightened on his arm. The effort to hold on stretched lines of strain through JD's face and forced a low grunt from his throat. Shame burned the tips of Buck's ears. Settling back to the floor, he folded his hand over JD's on his sleeve. "Why not the cemetery?"

JD's grip relaxed. He slumped against the blankets, his head lolled weakly to the side. A deep breath he must have been holding blew nosily from his mouth. "Because Annie's there." His throat worked with a hard swallow as his eyes shifted from Buck then back. "It's a sad place -- and -- I don't want to be remembered -- like that."

A powerful spasm of sorrow mushroomed in Buck's chest, threatening to claw sanity from his grasp. Tears sprang to his eyes and he blinked them away, refusing to show weakness to a young man who needed enough strength to live through the night. With a Herculean effort he pushed his misery away and gathered the tattered remains of his control. Helpless in the face of the earnest request, he rested his hand on JD's head.

"I promise."

Clearly satisfied with Buck's answer, JD drifted quietly to sleep.

Buck searched around himself in the darkness, his eyes flitting about for something to look at other than the injured man at his side. His throat closed in on itself as he thought about JD's request and the trust that set his face with hope when he'd made it. Cold rushed into the gap where his heart had been. A deep shiver ran through his bones, and Buck shuddered through it. He let go of JD's arm to reach up and wipe roughly across his own face.

The night grew long. Each hour pressed heavier on him, whispering dark thoughts into his ear. Strength and hope emptied from his soul, drained from his bones, leaving cold and a disquieting fear behind.

<><><>

Part 3

A warm hand on his face pulled him out of his dreams. JD blinked and a soft gray light came into focus. Buck knelt over him, a smile stretched stiffly across his pale face. "'Mornin'."

He looked around, amazed to find Buck was right -- it was morning. Death that had seemed so oppressive the night before had tucked tail and run from the day's brightness. He curled his shoulders from the floor but a burst of pain in his side and Buck's hand on his chest stopped him there. A curtain of darkness fell across his vision and he slumped back to the ground.

"Not so fast, JD." Something cool pressed against his bottom lip. Water flowed into his mouth and he drank gratefully. Buck pulled the canteen back. "I've got the horses packed and everything ready to go. Now that you're awake we'll get you bundled up nice and warm, then we'll head out." JD watched Buck touch his wound. No fresh blood showed through the dark stains on the bandages. Jumping ahead to Nathan's clinic, the sudden image of the healer pulling the stick out sent weakness through his bones.

"You all right?"

He glanced up to find Buck's worrisome frown and nodded. "Just ready to get out 'a here is all."

"We'll be out soon enough. You stay still while I get your coat."

JD lay back and closed his eyes, ignoring his habit of arguing with Buck. The hammer of pain in his side had settled to a dull throb. He had no wish to aggravate it again. It seemed he'd only shut his eyes for a moment before Buck touched his shoulder again.

"JD, ready to go?"

Opening his eyes, he squinted at Buck. A cloying web of cotton spun through his senses and clogged his throat. He swallowed. Breathing hurt; pulled the muscles through his side and stabbed a hot poker straight through his brain. He didn't want to move, much less get on a horse and ride back to town. If Buck would just let him lay here and sleep until he sank into the ground, letting the darkness bury him and take away the pain, he'd be happy.

Buck reached for him, slid one hand under his shoulders. JD pulled a breath in through his nose and held it. Locking his hand around Buck's forearm, he pulled himself up while Buck lifted from his end. Or at least, he thought he pulled himself up. The immediate tensing of bone and muscle through his body sent a scream through his throat that took all his strength to choke off. Weak as a new baby, he stood gasping against Buck.

"I gotcha, just hang onto me." Buck's arm pressed against his shoulder blades. His hand cupped the nape of his neck warm and solid.

A sound slipped out of his mouth that he hoped Buck took as an agreement. His legs wobbled beneath him, entirely independent of his brain. In fact, nothing seemed to be listening to his commands. Pain pierced his side every time his heels hit the ground. A moan he felt sure must have come from someone else brought an answering murmur of comfort from Buck. Pride reared for an instant, infused him with enough strength to lift his head, but the energy quickly abandoned him. His chin dropped back to his chest.

Behind his closed eyelids the darkness brightened. He blinked them open long enough to see sunbeams spearing through the trees and sparkling off water-laced leaves and branches. Cold slapped him, sucked warmth from his skin. Time held still and his mind floated; he didn't understand where he was. Buck's touch moved, became a band of tightness across his chest and a bruising hold on one arm. A brief warning, "Hold tight, JD," and a jolt of movement thrust him into red darkness.

<><><>

A horse's steady gait brought him back into awareness. He moved, turned his head, and moaned. Cool fingers brushed lightly across his face. Arms lifted to embrace him, hold him firm against a broad chest. "We're almost home."

Buck. His friend's stalwart presence evoked a swell of safety, easing his vulnerability. He fell back into blackness, pain an unwelcome companion in his dreams.

<><><>

A cramping spasm twisted down Buck's back, but he resisted the urge to move. He'd knotted the reins around his fingers, ready to pull up fast if he had to. They rode slowly in deference to JD's injury, but his knees tightened instinctively as they neared Four Corners.

When he'd used an old tree stump near the cabin to heft himself and JD into the saddle, the soft cry of pain JD had uttered had curled his skin and set his teeth on edge. JD had leaned into him, limp and unresponsive for so long, prompting Buck to check his breathing every few seconds. A steady heartbeat thumped against his spread palm but did little to calm his nerves. Just when he was ready to stop and shake JD until he woke up, he moved and moaned. The small sound calmed his fears. Buck enfolded JD gently and touched his brow. "We're almost home." JD's head rolled to the side and his breathing eased. He didn't stir again.

The distant outline of Four Corners spurred Buck's waning strength. Leaden feet thumped numbly against his horse's sides. Sensing home, JD's horse, its reins tied to Buck's saddle horn, lifted its head and whinnied. Buck nodded in agreement, "I hear ya, girl. I'm ready to get there myself." The ground held frustratingly still beneath them; the town didn't seem to be getting any closer.

When they arrived, mid-afternoon activity busied the streets despite the cold weather. Someone caught sight of them and turned and ran without Buck having to tell him what to do. The direction he disappeared assured Buck the man was heading for Nathan. Rapid hoof beats alerted him to a rider coming up on his back. He turned his head to see Vin rein in beside him.

"Buck? What happened?"

Buck used his chin to point at JD. "He's hurt." Fractured words scratched out of his mouth. He cleared his throat and squeezed his eyes shut against a sudden surge of dizziness. A harness jingled. Something compact leaned against his leg, pressing him into his horse. A firm grip clasped his arm, caught him when he almost fell. Opening his eyes with a gasp, he tightened his arms convulsively around JD.

"You all right?" Vin's hushed voice spoke close to his ear.

Unable to work his tongue around words, Buck nodded. Eyes burning with weariness, limbs heavy and stiff from holding still so long, he gathered his determination and straightened his spine. "Get Nathan. JD needs him."

Vin nodded and pointed up the road. "He's waitin'." With a gentle squeeze of his fingers, Vin let go. He urged his horse forward and led them to the clinic.

Josiah and Nathan stepped forward, met him when the horses stopped. Josiah reached for JD, pulled his slumped body gently to the side and cradled him in his arms.

Buck guided JD's descent. "Careful, he's got --"

"Good Lord." Ezra's exclamation distracted him; he nearly toppled over himself. Someone grabbed his arm from the opposite side, kept him from falling. He glanced that way and found Chris beside him.

"Steady, Buck."

Buck turned his head to check on JD. The tip of the stick protruded grotesquely from the swathe of bandages around his middle. Ezra spooned his arms under JD, offering support. His neck twisted awkwardly when he snapped his stare toward Buck. "What happened?"

"No time," Nathan's order ground out between clenched teeth. "Get him upstairs." The three of them moved as he spoke. "Chris, take care 'a Buck, follow us up."

From atop his horse, Buck watched as JD's body was carried up the stairs. His pallid face and fever-pinched cheeks gave him an unnaturally waxy look -- a vision of death. A gray veil closed around Buck's head, like a heavy curtain shutting out the sun. Colors washed away to black and white and sounds tunneled to nothing. Hands pulled him down and set him on the ground. Swaying on knees that wouldn't hold him, he gripped his saddle horn. Chris' voice disturbed the air, hot breath against his face, but the words refused to make sense. He looked down and found himself walking up the stairs to Nathan's room. Vin and Chris held him on either side; he heard the mumble of words, felt Vin's gloved hands gripping his arm, but couldn't reach past the barrier that encased him.

He tripped over the threshold into Nathan's room, but didn't fall. Disconnected from himself, he moved forward in a daze.

Open shutters welcomed light into the clinic and several lamps glowed bright as tiny suns caught in hurricane globes. JD had been placed on the bed. His long johns lay pulled back and bunched down to his hips. Hitching waves of gasping breaths rolled his ribs open.

Nathan finished cutting through the last of the bandages and pulled them back. The red, open folds of the wound around the stick slashed a horrible trench of color through ashen flesh. Probing carefully around the injury, he pressed along the bulging lips circling the stick, then gently felt inward to JD's belly. JD tautened and stretched against the mattress. Groans burned low in the young man's chest, pain carving deep lines of strain through his brow.

Nathan must have signaled the others, but Buck missed it, his senses too slow to catch what was happening. Bracing their hands against JD's shoulders and hips, Josiah and Ezra moved in close. Nathan touched the small nub of wood; his other hand pressed against JD's side. Buck lifted his hand to tell them to wait, felt his heart lurch.

With a grim tightening of his lips, Nathan's fingers closed around the stick and he pulled. JD's frame tensed even tighter. Sinewy cords roped through his arched neck when he pressed his head back. The stick emerged dark with JD's blood, leaving a gaping hole of gore in his side. Abruptly, he deflated onto the bed as if his bones had been ground to dust. Reaching for the instruments Josiah had ready, Nathan moved quickly.

Swirls of color burst into Buck's vision through the gray and his knees buckled. Arms caught him, then gently lowered him to the floor. He blinked slowly, struggling to bring Chris' face into focus. His mouth moved, forming words Buck couldn't understand. Closing his eyes, he drifted away into darkness.

~~~

Blue sky spread an impossibly wide canopy above him. He lifted his head and closed his eyes, breathing in the warmth of sunshine and feeling it sink into the muscles of his face, thawing away the memories of winter. He opened his eyes. The softly rounded hill he stood on wore a new fringe of grass across its crown. A valley fell away below, swaying wild flowers and spring growth sweeping outward from its center.

A tall tree stood at the top of the hill. Buck wasn't surprised to find JD sitting between its roots, a long blade of grass dangling from his lips. Gentle breezes ruffled his hair, blew it back from his face and stirred his open shirt collar, flapping it gently against his skin.

Stepping closer, Buck's gaze roamed up to the broad-reaching branches of the tree. He felt his grin widen, craned his head back to take it all in. "You know what, JD?"

"No, but I bet you're gonna tell me."

Buck grinned wider. Dropping lightly to the ground, he shifted to press his back against the trunk near his friend. "This would make a good kissin' tree."

JD pulled the grass blade from his mouth and leaned forward, an incredulous frown drawing his eyebrows together. "A what?"

"A kissin' tree. Where you take your gal on a day just like this and give her a soft, sweet kiss right on the lips."

"Didn't know you needed an excuse to kiss a girl, Buck."

"I don't," Buck countered. "Just thought I'd pass a little wisdom on to someone who ain't as good as I am with the fairer sex." He pushed himself to his feet and stepped away.

"Just remember what you promised me."

"Hmm?" Was that a cloud in the distance? Looked like maybe some rain heading their way.

"You promised, Buck. You said you'd bury me here."

"What?" Buck whirled around, noticing how the wind had picked up and turned colder. JD's skin was pearl gray, his eyes looked huge and scared in his pale face. One hand clutched tight around a stick of wood that penetrated his side. Bloody rivulets soaked through his shirt and ran down his hip. "JD?" So frightened he couldn't think, Buck stepped closer on numb legs.

"You promised."

Thunder clapped overhead and icy rain poured down.

~~~

Sleep tore from his mind. Buck lurched upright from the bed, fear seizing his chest.

"Buck, take it easy, now." Caution and control laced Vin's words. He gripped Buck's arm tightly and the pinch pushed away the dregs of confusion. Absently, he patted Vin's fingers, then swung his legs to the floor. Josiah nodded at him from where he sat nearby.

Across the room, Nathan perched on the edge of the second bed, where JD lay. JD wore a clean, stripped nightshirt, buttoned up to his chin. His arms lay at his sides, his fingers curled gently into his palms; the bed sheets were neatly doubled back to his waist. Chris stood against the wall with one arm propped to hold his weight; his head hung low between his shoulders.

When Chris glanced up Buck caught his eyes. Fear infused his words. "He alive?"

Vin touched his shoulder. "Yeah, he's alive."

Chris straightened and shifted his weight to one hip. "Buck, what the hell happened?"

Feeling disconnected, Buck stood and moved to JD's bed without answering. His earlier fatigue returned and his shoulders drooped. Suddenly unable to remain standing, he slumped to JD's bed, bracing his feet against the floor when the mattress sagged badly under his weight.

"Creek flooded, we jumped across anyway."

"JD fall in?"

Buck lifted his head and blinked at Chris. "No. Bank gave way and he almost fell in, but I caught him."

Josiah stood and walked closer. "How'd he get--"

"He--" Buck closed his eyes, struggling to hold back the tide of images memory sent crowding through his head. "We got surprised by a flash flood. He got caught in the crash wave."

"Then you saved his life."

Buck disagreed with Nathan. "No. It's my fault he's hurt."

"How's that?" Chris pushed away from the wall and folded his arms across his chest.

"I shoulda known to start back sooner. It was rainin' too hard to see, I knew that creek would be too high to cross." The sharp words cut his throat raw and bled guilt into his gut.

"Don't take on more than your share, Buck," Josiah gently admonished him. "Unless your connections go higher than mine, you had nothing to do with the weather."

Propping his elbow on his knee, Buck leaned over and lifted his hand to shade his eyes. "It was a stupid thing to do."

"'Sides, you were out there lookin' for the boy," Josiah continued. "You had to stay out long as you could."

Vin nodded in agreement. "We found him, brought him back to his momma."

"JD'll be all right, Buck."

Nathan's quiet reassurance lifted Buck's head.

"Why don't you go get cleaned up, get somethin' to eat. You look like you could use it."

Buck nodded. "Let me know if he wakes up b'fore I get back." Grabbing his hat from the bedside table, he turned slowly to the door. Chris followed him out, walked beside him to the hotel. He ate, hardly tasting his food, then returned to his room for a clean set of clothes. His body moved, he listened and answered when questions were directed his way, but the odd feeling of being disconnected from his surroundings followed him back to Nathan's room.

Opening the door quietly and entering, Buck realized he was glad he'd convinced Chris he didn't need the company. Nathan sat at a table, his head pillowed on his arms. Breathing gently, he snored softly when he exhaled. The flames burned low in the lamps; muted light drew a butter-yellow glow around JD.

Walking on the balls of his feet, Buck silently pushed a chair against the wall next to the bed and sat down. He leaned his weight forward and braced his arms on his knees. Eyelids closed of their own accord, exhaustion dragging him down until he didn't know how he stayed upright. It seemed so strange to be sitting in a chair, warm and dry, when only yesterday it felt like he'd been cold and wet all his life.

Now, when time held still for him, he could take out his memories and look at them one by one, flipping through them like photographs. The horror that had shriveled his insides when he'd seen JD hurt, and the helpless fear that had gripped him in the cabin were muted, layered with time and distance. He replayed it back in his head, watched himself jump over the creek and catch JD in his arms again. The moment froze for several counted heartbeats, captured behind his closed eyes.

A soft moan dispersed his thoughts and pulled him back into the room. Beside him, JD stirred. Buck leaned over and adjusted the quilt smooth across his friend. JD grew still and Buck thought he'd gone back to sleep. Instead, the young man's eyes blinked open.

"JD?"

JD's head turned toward Buck. "Buck?"

"Yeah, it's me." An uncontrollable grin spread across his face. "We made it back home."

JD's eyes closed with a long sigh. "Figured that part out for myself." His voice was weak, but empty of the wan helplessness from before.

Buck laughed softly, his eyes flickering to check if they'd disturbed Nathan. The healer mumbled in his sleep, but didn't wake up. "You're smarter than you look, kid." A flash of pain crossed JD's face. Buck sobered quickly. "You need anything?"

Without opening his eyes, JD nodded. "Water?"

"Comin' right up," Buck answered. He stretched for a glass of water that sat on the sideboard against the wall near him. "Here y'are." He held his hand out, ready to help JD sit up.

JD's eyes opened. "I can do it." Narrow tendons in his neck stretched as he curled his shoulders from the bed. Lifting his forearm, he reached shaky fingers for the glass.

Unwilling to watch him struggle, Buck quickly scooped one hand under his shoulders. JD's weight settled back against his arm when his strength gave out suddenly. Irritation drew JD's eyebrows together and he opened his mouth to protest.

"Can't have you spillin' water all over Nathan's sheets now," Buck offered quietly. The excuse seemed to assuage JD's pride. Furrows in his forehead smoothed out, and he quietly allowed Buck to press the glass against his lips and tip the water into his mouth.

When he finished, he settled with a soft groan back to his pillow. "Thanks, Buck."

"Sure." Replacing the glass on the sideboard, Buck leaned forward again and set his elbows on his knees. Silence held the space between them for several beats while he worked things out in his head. "Y'know --"

"They find the boy?"

Startled by JD's interruption, Buck nodded. "Yeah."

"Good."

Buck watched him carefully wiggle his shoulders, probably trying to get comfortable. His nostrils flared with the dark weariness and pain he saw in JD's eyes. "'Cause you promised his momma you'd find him, and I know you always keep your promises."

"True."

The memory of another promise hung between them, solemn and quiet. "You're a good friend, Buck."

"You are too, kid."

JD's eyes closed slowly. He slept.

Leaning back in his chair, Buck let his head fall back against the wall. Eyes crushed closed, he reached out and rested his arm on the bed. His breathing deepened, sleep drifted past and whispered in his ear. Sliding his arm over carefully, he searched with gently questing fingers until he found JD's arm. Smiling to himself, he found sleep and dreamed.

The End