The Road Not Taken

Bright autumn sunshine pours through the picture window onto the dining room table, where lays a tabby cat of indeterminate breed. Outside the window are the rolling hills of upstate New York, with the leaves approaching peak color. A calendar hangs from the wall, open to the month of October 2012, decorated with a painting by Klee.

Voices come from the kitchen. The cat looks up and yawns.

"Ted!" says a familiar voice, "I know you're where you're not supposed to be! Down!"

Ted looks toward the kitchen, stretches one leg, then the other, walks to the edge of the table and leaps down.

"Arrogant beast," mutters Daria as she enters. She is dressed in a beige skirt with a light blue turtleneck, understated oval glasses, and her hair is loosely tied. She is still wearing the Doc Martens, though. She is carrying a cup and saucer.

Jodie and Mack follow her in, also with cups and saucers. Jodie's hair is in loose curls, and she is in a red blazer with matching skirt. Her blouse is light pink. Mack is somewhat bulkier than in high school, more muscular. His hair is short, and he wears a New York Giants t-shirt with new blue jeans.

"I can't believe you named your cat after your former boyfriend," Jodie said.

Mack laughed at that.

"Well, Ted was never actually what you'd call a 'boyfriend,'" said Daria, "but I suppose it could be argued that it was as close as I had come at the time." She set her cup down and motioned for the others to sit. "You, however, would have never found this out if Jane had ever learned to keep a secret."

"And you'd have never found out she'd told me, if I hadn't called to console you when he and Stacy eloped."

They all laugh at this memory.

"But the cat's not named after Ted. The twins named him after a cartoon character," she explained.

"Oh, that's so sweet!" said Jodie.

"Yeah," said Mack. He picked Ted up and set him in his lap.

"Poor Ted and Stacy, though. It was so romantic I thought it would last forever," said Jodie.

"Reality has a way of getting in the way of romance," grinned Daria, "Not that I'd really know, of course."

"Yeah, right," laughed Mack. "So how do you plan to explain the ins and outs of romance to the twins?"

"Hell, leave 'em with Quinn the summer they turn thirteen. By that time, her litter will be so large, she'll never notice the extras. Let her handle the explanations."

Jodie laughed. "So how many does she have now?"

"Believe it or not, she's working on number four."

"No way!"

"Yep, and Joey walked out on her, too."

"God, poor Quinn! What happened?"

"He found out number three was Jamie's."

Mack shook his head. "The girl's boing ot have to settle down with one of those three, or she's going to lose them all."

"They never stay mad at her for long," said Daria. "The worst that ever happened was when Jeffie broke Joey's arm. Then Quinn was so touched at how guilty he felt about it, she dumped Joey for him." She rolls her eyes.

Jodie shakes her head and sighs.

Mack gets a twinkle in his eyes. "So why don't they just throw out the pretensions of propriety, and just form a menagé like Jane has in the Village?"

Daria smirked. "I actually did ask her that the other day. She said, and I quote, 'Ewwwwww, Dah-ree-yah! That is, like, soooo gross! One of Jane's is a gir-ul, and I like, just don't get into that!'"

Jodies eyes got big. "One of them is a girl? When did that happen?"

"Well," said Daria, "He's actually not technically a girl yet, but he's working on it. I thought you said you saw her last week?"

"Yeah, but the guys weren't with her. Which one?"

"Georgés," said Mack.

"You knew too?"

"Well, it's the worst kept secret in the tri-state area."

"But Georgés is so handsome," she said, slumping back in her seat. Almost to herself she added, "I thought sure it would have been the dancer..."

"Didn't we all," said Daria.

"I feel so left out of the loop."

"It happens to the best of us," said Mack. "Say, here's something I bet neither of you knew. Ever wonder whatever happened to Kevin?"

"He prematurely donated his body to science?" snarled Jodie.

"Whoa, good one, Landon," grinned Daria. "I never knew you had it in you."

"She never forgave Kevin for hitting on her at the Senior Prom," grinned Mack.

"Hmph, they should use him as a lab animal for germ warfare," she said. "So, what happened with him?"

"Okay, our place kicker knew him at Vandy, they were in the same frat and all. He says Kevin has joined the North Western Arena Football League."

"Narf!" laughed Jodie, nearly choking on her coffee. "Arena football? One of them puny regional leagues?"

"Yeah, but that's not the best part," he continued. "Originally he had signed up with the Eugene Engines, but he has since been traded to Boise." He set back with a smug grin.

Daria chewed this over in her mind, then deadpanned, "You mean, Kevin is now a... Spud?"

Jodie howled, and Mack quipped, "De jure, as well as de facto."

Daria smiled. "I knew if I had faith in him, he'd eventually evolve to a higher life form. I just never expected him to achieve a vegetable state. I'm proud of him, I am. Damned proud."

Impulsively Jodie reached over, still laughing, and squeezed Daria's hand. "God, I have missed you!"

Daria squeezed back, remembering the time when a friendly gesture like this would have scared her, even from Jane. She smiled, "You too, Jodie."

Jodie turned to Mack. "So, 'Mack Daddy,' next time you see him, are you going to let him kiss your Super Bowl ring?"

Mack held up his hand and smiled at the ring. "I don't know, Jodie. I may allow him the privilege."

"Ha," said Daria, "I say reverse it and clout his thick skull, like he used to do when he got his class ring."

"EEP!" said Jodie in a high voice, grabbing her head in mock pain and shock. "KEVIE!" They all laugh at the memory of the final straw in the Kevin/Brittany romance.

Ted's head perked up. He leaps off Mack's lap and heads for the door.

"Hello?" says Jodie.

The door opens in the other room and too girlish voices fill the air. The seven-year-old twins swarm in, followed by Trent, who is carrying a four year old boy who looks like him.

"Heyyy, Daria, Mack. Been awhile." He goes over to Jodie and gives her a warm kiss. "Heyyy, sweetheart."

Daria and Mack greet him with a hug and a handshake.

"Uncle Trent let us ride with the top down, Daddie," said Amy, scooping up Ted.

"That so?" said Mack.

"Well," said Daria, grinning at Trent, "a convertible, or was the roof extra?"

Trent laughed, handing his son to Jodie. "Good one, Daria."

"And we stopped off for ice cream," said Janie.

"Oh, really? Before dinner and everything!" said Daria to Trent again.

"Well, didn't hurt my appetite," he grinned.

"Nothin' hurts your appetite, Honey," said Jodie with a smile.

"So Erica let you have little Eric, did she?" said Mack, reaching over to scruff the boys head.

"Well, she's finally learned she's got to obey a court order," said Trent. "Anyway, when Jodie and I get hitched we'll get full custody. It's in the custody agreement." He grinned at Daria. "Your mother knows some killer lawyers."

"That she does," said Mack. "I'm behaving!"

They all laugh at that.

"Say," said Jodie to Trent, "how come you didn't tell me one of Jane's fellas is a transexual?"

"You mean Paul used to be a girl?" he asked in surprise. "Somehow it just figures."

"No, Uncle Trent," said Janie, "Georgés is gonna become a girl!"

"Next, on 'Sick, Sad World,'" grinned Amy.

"Have you two been watching that behind my back?" said Daria.

"Well," said Amy, "why should you and Daddy have all the fun?"

"Arrrrrh!" said Mack, scooping the two of them up, "Because we are the parents, and we are bigger than you!" The girls squeel and giggle.

"So," said Trent, "You two coming to the show tonight?"

"Wouldn't miss it," replied Mack.

"You bet," added Daria, "can't beat the price of those comp tickets."

They laugh and Mack says, "Hey, Trent, you want some coffee, man?"

"Am I breathing?" answered Trent. They head for the kitchen. "So, the Giants going all the way this year?"

"Hey, man, they've already painted our name on the end zone in New Orleans!"

Daria and Jodie watch them leave. The twins and Eric go off to the living room to play, and Ted settles into a slumber at Daria's feet.

Jodie turns back to Daria and grins. "Who'd have ever thought we'd end up with each others high school sweetie?"

"Best thing you ever did for me was dumping Mack," grinned Daria.

"And the best thing you ever did was setting me up on that blind date last year."

The two friends smile at each other, raising thier coffee cups in a silent toast.

The End


"Daria" and all characters from said show are the property of MTV and Viacom. This is a work of fan fiction, for love and not for financial gain.