Evan: I love, just absolutely colored tickle-me pink, by "open-minded" liberal folks that are all for free speech and the rights guaranteed by our dandy little country up until they are utilized by someone with an opposing view. I know you're probably thinking, "Holy shit, he used two, count 'em two hyphenated words in the first sentence alone, this is going to be deep and thought provoking." Well, hopefully this won't have to be thought provoking to many of you because the few people that visit our site, I hope, are entirely open-minded and not just selectively. Those who use constitutional rights to their advantage when burning a flag also need to respect people who say that war with Iraq is a moral obligation, and vice versa. The war on Iraq has produced two pretty clear cut camps. Here's my take on the issue. We are a country, collectively, of pussies and rednecks. There's not much of a middle ground. Now why am I allowed to say that? Because I live in the United States, a country that guarantees me the right to say whatever the hell I want whenever I want. It comes from a country founded, miraculously, on diplomacy and war. We have on the right: the nationalistic hicks who are by and large slave owners who sell their own American tea at a higher price than the Brits, tax and all, and claim the Brits are screwing us and we need to corner the market…oops…gain independence from a tyrant and say the only answer to that is war. On the left: a bunch of white flag waving pussies who know damn well that probability states that a war with England results in disaster no matter what the outcome (a warlike reputation upon winning or a weak reputation upon losing). Says the right to the left, "If you don't think our country is worth fighting for, you're a traitor to the United States…Treason!" Says the left to the right, "You're just a bunch of flag waving lunatics trying to drag a country into war with one far beyond our jurisdiction and have no business fighting." What is to be done? I'll borrow a line from Trey Parker here and say, "Why don't we do both?" You see, we can't possibly just sit back and take what England hands us like a little bitch and say "Yes sir, would you like me to wipe your ass too sir?" But at the same time, we can't just go into a foreign war that might not be necessary and not come out, winners or losers, looking like war mongering bastards who should be isolated and left to self destruct. But if we go in to a war with a country led by a tyrannical dictator needing someone to teach them a lesson, yet lacking a reason, we look like a "shoot first, ask later" sort of country that no one can respect. I'll be honest, I'd rather gargle diarrhea than live in either one of those sorts of countries cough cough FRANCE AND GERMANY cough, as I'm sure most other people agree (unless you're a redneck or pussy). So we go into a war after several failed diplomatic efforts and we look like heroes, fighting the little guys fight and all of that other bullshit that we're fed to romanticize war i.e. pictures of fighter planes silhouetted against a twilight sky in Iraq, where we just killed thousands and thousands of soldiers. You only get half of that through the picture though. You get a plane that looks kinda neat, not dead soldiers. No matter how you look at it, war isn't pretty, but is necessary sometimes. However, we can't go in fists flailing busting balls and cracking skulls or we'll look just like what Michael Moore wants us to think we look like, and who wants to succumb to the rhetoric of a fat piece of shit unless its me?
