Women piss men and manlike lesbians off.

By Evan: Women suck, probably worse than anything else God decided to curse the Earth with. You may say, "But they're the givers of life!" BULLSHIT. They can't very well have children on their own, men are just as much responsible for the conception of a child. (We're held responsible anyway) I'm not gay, but for the sake of all things that are sacred, why do girls suck so much? They toy with you constantly. That seems to be their main purpose. Its like they know exactly what to do to make your heart fall out and gouge itself until a steady flow of blood comes out. I'll put down in print a story that I think needs written so as I don't get it messed up in years to come (I won't forget the premise of this story…ever). Once upon a time a boy we'll call fat piece of shit had a friend that we'll call redneck faggot. Red and fat were best of friends. Redneck got a girlfriend who we'll refer to as….backstabbing bitch who can't keep her fucking word to save her life (but we'll use Suzy for short). Red's girl and fatty started talking and they became pretty good friends. As all boy/girls hetero relationships end up, one is drawn to the other. Sucks for fatty he liked Suzy. He never really told anyone, and he watched as Redneck faggot moved away to a far away town called Modesto. Bye bye Red! You know what this means? Suzy's single! But should our tubby protagonist act on it? Nah…girls are shallow whores who don't care how good a guy really is, they're in it for the sex. So fatty holds back and just talks with her for a while. Around comes summertime and fatty and Suzy are really starting to talk a lot. Fatty gets an email one day. It has questions like "Am I boring or fun?" and other such inane shit that pisses fatty off. But fatty sends it back to Suzy, whom it came from. He filled out the "opposite sex" portion in a joking manner, saying things like "oh yeah baby" when answering questions. Fatty is a silly boy. Suze send it back about 10 minutes later and claims that she might go out with fatty if he asks. What is fatty to do? He, STUPIDLY, asks her out. Uh oh! Not the friendship line! "You know fatty, we're such good friends that I don't want to ruin it by dating!" Fatty seems to be fucked. But wait! Fatty takes Suzy to his school's winter formal. Fatty could be in the door! But wait! Fatty is fucked again. It seems that Suzy, like a little bitch, went behind his back and decided to date Fatty's best friend, who we'll call "gardener" just to keep his identity and nationality secret. Fatty is upset. What reason does fatty get as to why she'll date someone from another school, which she explicitly said she would not do? "He's not as good a friend as you are fatty!" Fatty must be seeing things. Not as good? Wouldn't that be bad? No fear fatty, they'll break up in two weeks because gardener is an asshole and Suzy is a flighty bitch. Happy ending! Suzy, deservedly, gets in a shitty relationship with a mexicano, fatty is alone as always, and gardener is still a big stupid bastard. The end! (true, all of it.)