Volume 3 continues the "Gokuu doesn't know what a giri giri girl is"

storyline.  As Kamesennin is trying to teach Gokuu (Gokuu does

eventually learn to distinguish between ugly and beautiful faces, but

not beautiful women and beautiful mermaids,) a new guy shows up.

Kiririn arrives at the island to ask Kamesennin to teach him fighting

techniques; however, his entrance marks him more as a buffoon than a

serious combat master.  He bribes Kamesennin with a dirty magazine, and

then goes with Gokuu to find a true giri giri girl.  But, Kintoun only

supports people that are pure of heart, and Kiririn has to hold onto

Gokuu for the entire trip (along the way, he discovers that Gokuu can't

tell men and women apart unless he can see their private parts.  Kiririn

hastily assures Gokuu that he is indeed male.)  Below them, a feisty

woman on a mono-scooter is evading the police until her hair tickles her

nose and she sneezes.  The frightened girl that takes her place then

calls for help.  Gokuu and Kiririn decide that Ranchi would make a great

giri giri girl, and rescue her (notice that Ranchi has no trouble riding

Kintoun.)

   At the island, Kamesennin is delighted to see that Ranchi isn't

hitting him when he stares at her, and has her change into "the

kamesennin uniform."  To support the gag, he and the two runts are also

wearing the lingerie when Ranchi steps back out.  Then, disaster strikes

and the group learns about Ranchi's "dark-side."  Because he's going to

train the two kids, the dirty old man moves the house to a larger

island, and has Ranchi explain what the sneezing is all about (not much

explanation, though -- it just happens that way.)

   The first part of the first day's training is to see who's the

fastest: Kiririn's dash is about 10 seconds; Gokuu's is 11 seconds, but

with a replacement for his torn shoes, he comes in around 8 seconds.

Kamesennin blows them both away at 5+ seconds.  The second part is a

little contest, where the one who finds the rock with "turtle" written

on it, within 30 minutes, gets to eat supper.  Kiririn resorts to

cheating several times, and wins.

   The next day, Kamesennin has the boys pick up a milk delivery, and

while hopping, skipping, and zigzagging, makes the two drop the milk

bottles off at people's houses.  The last house on the route is at the

top of a big hill, and Kamesennin gracefully allows the boys to walk up

the stairs, instead of running.  The owner of the house, a priest, tells

us that the combat that the boys are training for, which takes place in

8 months, is the Tenkaichi-budoukai.  From this point on, we get to see

Kiririn and Gokuu training both their bodies, and minds (Gokuu hates

having to do language lessons.)  To work on physical strength,

Kamesennin tells them to push against a large rock.   Gokuu manages to

unexpectedly move it, so Kamesennin points out a monster rock for them

to work on.  When the training becomes too easy, he has his students

wear 40 pound turtle shells on their backs.  Finally, with a month to

go, Gokuu rushes into the house, excitedly.  He takes the old man to the

monster rock, and pushes it a few yards.  Kiririn does this too, and

Kamesennin thinks to himself "I just told them to do that as a JOKE..."

Since they've gotten so strong, he gives them 90 pound turtle shells to

wear.

   When the time comes, Gokuu and Kiririn get to remove the shells, and

are told to jump up.  They're VERY surprised to find out how strong

they've become.  Dressed up, and ready to go, the three fighters fly off

to combat.  At the fight ring, both Gokuu and Kiririn expect to be

easily defeated by one of the many other contestants (note: the uniforms

Kamesennin gives them have the kanji for turtle on the front, pronounced

"kame".)   Kiririn's first match is against one of the two bullies from

his hometown (he kept on getting beaten up at home, which is why he left

to train under Kamesennin.)  His victory is very gratifying.

   In the middle of the competition, there is a commercial break,

advertising the fact that book 4 is now on sale.

  Gokuu and Kiririn easily win their elimination rounds, and eventually

there are only 8 people left in the competition -- which includes

Yamcha, and a strangely familiar man named Jackie Chun.  Gokuu doesn't

recognize Yamcha right away, because Buruma had made him cut his long,

flowing hair.  Also in the audience are Buruma, Pool, and Oolong; these

three cheer for Yamcha, Gokuu, and Kiririn.



   The other fighters are:

      Bactarian:   A "dirty" fighter in both senses of the word.

      Namu:        A mystic from a place that looks like India.

      Ranfawn:     Beautiful, seductive, and a mean street fighter.

      Jackie Chun: Master martial artist.

      Gilan:       A rubber-suit monster.

   Kiririn nearly loses to Bactarian, but eventually rallies, and defeats

the louse with a fart of his own.





                                                -- Curtis H. Hoffmann

                                                   May 16, 1993