Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam wing or any of the characters. This song is by 98* I do not own it or them.P.S. I gladly buy nick & Heero from who ever owns them. Please be gentle this is my first GW fic i have only written one other fic and it was a sailor moon  type.  this is Relena and Heero fic it is kinna sad in this chapter don't worry no one dies or  ends  up in a hospital. i was going make this one part then i realized it would take to long and i would never finish it .. oh and  of course this part is  a song fic. Have fun and R&R.


                              If she knew Part. 1


'Man I'm such an idiot I've been driving around the city for about 45 minutes and all I have been doing is thinking about how stupid I am" Heero just didn't know what to do any more. Hell he hasn't known what to do since he meet her. He thought once she was gone he be able to think about other things besides her. Oh Gob was he ever wrong. Now all he can ever think of even when he's sleeping is her. One woman. Relena. "I can't believe I let he go, Duo's right I am an ass"  

~flash back to yesterday morning~

"bye Miss Relena we'll miss you" Quater said in his normal cherry tone. All the Gundam pilots showed up to say good-bye to Relena and wish her good luck "I've told you before Quatre just Relena, no miss needed. Got it ... and I'll miss you too" " we'll all miss you Relena ... won't we Heero" Duo asked the dark haired pilot off to the side "hn" was all he replied before leaving "maybe not all of you Duo" " he'll come around Relena" Trowa said trying to cheer up the depressed princess "maybe Trowa but I don't know how much longer I can wait. Every day I see him it breaks my heart leaving is all I can try to do to ease the pain," at this point Relena was near tears. "Good bye everyone" and with that she get into her car and head to the airport.

Heero's was up in his room doing something on his laptop (again). All of the sudden duo comes bursting in. "duo go away I'm" " an ass .......that's what you are. That girl really loves you and you just blow her off like that I know you like her ... hell you lov..." "shut up Duo don't even say it I have no feeling for rele...." Heero tried to say before Duo cut in again "the hell you don't. I see the way you look at her every time she walks into the room. The way you always save her" "Duo it's my job to protect her that's all" Heero interrupted. "yeah and did anyone ask you too... hummmm...NO you volunteered to do it. The way treat her is just an act because you don't want anyone to know that you do care about her. Well congratulation it worked.....if fact it worked so well you can't even tell that you love her"

~end flashback~

As Heero drove around town he kept thinking about all the little what ifs in his head. What if he told her ... what if she have stayed ... what if he never saw her again ... what if she gave up on him for good. God what would he give just to go back to when she was here just to say he was sorry that he did love her but just didn't see it. At least not until Duo shoved it in his face ..... not to mention locking him out of the house this morning when he went to get he paper. Duo said "I'm was just giving you time to think ... whether ya liked it or not." Deciding that he needed to a least try calm down a bit he turned on the radio.  He had to get his mind off what happened but Lady Fate had other things in mind. Fate didn't want Heero to think of anything but Relena, what happened, and what could have happened.

*if she only knew
what i knew but couldn't say
if she could  just see
the part of me that i hid away*

Heero almost changed the station because of the songs hunting words. 'I wish I told her how much I loved ... No.... How much I love her. I wish I had seen how much I love her before it was too late. Maybe it's better this way I mean if she knew about my past she would be repulsed by me.' He couldn't stop all the thoughts that were going through his head now.

*if i could just hold her in my arms again
and just say i love you
but she's gone away, maybe she'd stay
if she only knew*

Heero feel the song just fitted what was going on. 'I wish I had just said I love you Relena'

*if she could  just feel
what i feel here in my heart
she'd know it was real
pure and true right from the start
but I'm just a man who didn't understand
what she was going through
but she's gone away, maybe she'd stay
if she only knew*

'I just didn't understand what I was feeling I have been trained to have no emotions a soldier doesn't need them I did need to care how others felt or how what I did effected them.'

*and how, how did i let her get away
'cause love, love is so easy to feel
but the hardest thing to say
if she could  just see
what i see when i close my eyes
all that i dream*

Thinking back to all his dreams he realized that in every one there was Relena 'all that I dream is Relena'

*surely she would realize
but like a fool i waited much too long
to let her know the truth
but she's gone away, maybe she'd stay
if she only knew,*

'damn how could I be so stupid, been such a fool to wait this long and than even as i stood there watching her leave didn't even try to do a thing about it'

*tell me, tell me how,
How did i let her get away (tell me)
cause  i guess that love,
Love is so easy to fell
but the hardest thing to say

if she only knew
what i knew but couldn't say
if she could  just see
the part of me that i hid away
if i could just hold her in my arms again
and just say i love you
but she's gone away, maybe she'd stay
if she only knew, if she only knew*

'I've got to do something about this i can't just ... it's... i mean .. oh hell i love her  so much i have just got to find a way to get her love back.....not that I'll  ever have her love again...even if she wont have me i need to  tell her i love her ' just as  the song finished he pulled up to the house where he and the other pilots have been staying. "duo let me in now i need to hurry" Heero said as he pounded on the door. "well, well, well  did your brain start working again"
" shut up Duo I need some help"
"you got it buddy"
"get the guys and come up to my room" Heero shouted on his way up stairs.
"soo it looks like our little plan is working"
"ahhh huh.. God Trowa don't sneak up like that"
"oh you know he didn't mean too Duo"
"yeah sure Quatre whatever"
"what are you complaining about now Maxwell"
"oh nothing Wu-man"
"don't call me that Maxwell"
"don't call me Maxwell"
" both of you stop we need to move on to part b of our plan"
"yeah Quater's right . That song we Requested worked"
"thanks Trowa ... well let's go up stairs and 'help' Heero" and with that the 4 pilots went upstairs to 'help' their friend.


To be continued.............


Please don't kill me for this it's not very good I know :: starts to cry:: the capitalization  near nonexistence and u all hate it. I just try hard and that's all I can do please, please don't kill me I too young to die I have hamsters and cats and a dog that will die without me.

That's all for now don't worry I'll start on the next part soon don't hate me it just takes time
                 Angel of Serenity



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