A BIG TEAM ROCKET INTERVIEW!!!

Okay before I start I'd like to say I do not own Pokémon or Team Rocket, the Good (and rich) folks at Nintendo do! So please don't sue me!

ME- Hi I'm Togepi and in-between my busy college schedule I decided to interview Team Rocket, but since I have no where else to do my interview I have to do it in college in some really cold green porter cabins we call the T huts. The questions will be drawn out of a plastic bag and I'd like to thank my mate Sarah for helping me think of them. (I TURN TO TEAM ROCKET WHO ARE SAT ON CHAIRS IN FRONT OF ME SHIVERING) Erm...are you guys cold?

JESSE- D....d....don't be ridiculous! W....w.....we're....c....c...cartoon characters! W....w....we d...d....don't feel the c.....cold!"

ME- Right! (I TOSS JESSE MY SCARF AND JAMES MY GLOVES, MEOWTH LOOKS AT ME PUZZLED)

MEOWTH- What about poor Meowth! (I SIGH AND TOSS MEOWTH MY COAT)

ME- You three should of worn something warmer, it's snowing outside. Anyway are you ready for the most grueling and reviling interview of all time?

JAMES- (WHO IS STILL SHIVERING) G....g....guess so!

ME- Okay well first introduce yourselves!

(TEAM ROCKET SUDDENLY STAND UP AND GET IN MOTTO MODE)

To protect the world from devastation!
To unite all peoples within our nation!
To denounce the evils of truth and love!
To extend our reach to the stars above!
Jesse!
James!
Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!
Surrender now or prepare to fight!
Meowth! That's right!

(THEY SIT BACK DOWN AGAIN - THEY GET STRANGE LOOKS FROM MY COLLEGE BUDDIES WHO ARE SAT AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM)

ME- Okay! The first question is easy. How old are you?

JESSE & JAMES- 17

ME- Ah! Same age as me!

MEOWTH- I don't know how old I am!

ME- Okay next question. How much do you get paid in Team Rocket?

JAMES- About....hummm (HE THINKS FOR A WHILE - HE THEN WHISPERS TO JESSE)

JESSE- (TO JAMES) I don't know how much we get paid!

MEOWTH- Lets just say enough to live on!

ME- Okay! So does it go straight into your bank account or is it cash in hand?

(THEY STARE BLANKLY AT ME FOR A WHILE)

JAMES- We don't have bank accounts!

ME- So it's cash in hand then!

JAMES- I guess!

ME- Right next question. what are your favoruite Films?

JESSE- I quite liked that film where the whole world was just a computer system or something!

ME- The Matrix?

JESSE- Yeah that was it!

JAMES- I liked the film Titanic!

MEOWTH-(TO JAMES) Yeah but everytime we watch it we can't 'ere it 'cos your always blubberin'. Now I like somethin' wit a bit of action! Like Arnold swatzer thingy movies!

ME- Right! What about music?

JESSE- Anything really! You here a lot of different kinds of music when you travel like us!

JAMES- Yeah like we here different music here in England than in America or Japan!

MEOWTH- Yeah it's more poppy dancey stuff over 'ere. But I like a bit of rappin'

JESSE- Dance is great for me!

JAMES- I like classical! (EVERYONE LOOKS AT HIM) What I grew up with it!

ME- What about TV shows?

JESSE- I like that show Friends!

JAMES- Oh! defiantly the X files, I love the paranormal!

MEOWTH- Oh I watch just 'bout anythin'. Friends, X-files, E.R, hey and what 'bout da simpsons, everyon' loves dhem!

ME- Yeah I love all them shows! Next Question! What do you think of the contrivertional rapper Eminem?

JAMES- He's cool!

JESSE- He raps about what we're all thinking!

MEOWTH- I love da rappin'

ME- I like him too...(I TURN TO MY COLLEGE BUDDIES) We all like him don't we guys!

(THEY ALL MURMUR SOMETHING AND GO BACK TO THEIR WORK)

ME- K! Next question! Do any of you have any disgusting habits?

JAMES- (POINTING TO MEOWTH) Meowth picks his nose! (MEOWTH GETS ANGRY AND SCRATCHES HIS FACE)

MEOWTH- (AS HE SCRATCHES JAMES FACE) How can I when I don't 'ave a nose!

JESSE- James snores!

MEOWTH- Jesse bites her nails! ( FOR THAT REMARK MEOWTH GETS A PAPER FAN OVER HIS HEAD)

ME- Glad your all so open about these things! Okay what do you guys do on your days off?

JAMES- We actually don't have that many days off do we.

JESSE- Yeah your right James and even if we do we're still chasing that brat and his Pikachu!

JAMES- Mostly we just have picnic and stuff!

ME- Great! What do you think you'll be doing in the future?

(THEY THINK LONG AND HARD)

MEOWTH- Probably still chasin' dat Pikachu!

JESSE- I think I'll be a singing star sensation...or an actress!

JAMES- I dunno! I don't think about the future much.

ME- K! The next question is quite revealing. Do any of you have a crush on a TV/movie or singing star?

JESSE- (LAUGHS) James likes Madonna!

JAMES- (GETTING KIND OF EMBARRASSED) I do not!

MEOWTH- Well Jesse likes that Leonardo Dicaprio!

JESSE- (HITS MEOWTH WITH A LARGE MALLET) No I don't! At least I don't fancy another cartoon character like you!

ME- Oh which cartoon character is that!

JESSE- That funny looking cat creature out of our rival show Digimon!

ME- Oh Gatomon!

JESSE- Yeah that's it! Gatomon!

JAMES- He goes all gooey-eyed over her! It's sweet!

ME- Great! I like Chandler out of friends! Next Question! Where exactly did you get that motto from?

JAMES- Our motto?

JESSE- We made it up ourselves!

ME- But in the episode where Butch and Cassidy open that Breeding center you two claim you stole it.

JESSE- We have a reputation to keep! We had to say that while those two and the brats were there!

ME- Great! Okay! How was your Christmas and New Year?

JESSE- Not bad!

JAMES- We set off fireworks at new years!

MEOWTH- Yeah and one chased me down da street!

JESSE- We got a bit drunk too.

ME- Oh you guys drink! Not the innocent cartoon characters you seem to be, ey?

JESSE- I'm quite sure you do as well!

ME- Me? Don't touch the stuff! Okay What are your natural hair colours?

JESSE- These are our natural hair colours!

ME- What? Blue and Magenta! I find that hard to believe!

JESSE- Well it's true!

JAMES- Actually my hair is a darker blue than this but I prefer this lighter blue colour!

ME- K! Ever been in a serious situation?

MEOWTH- Like what?

ME- I dunno! Ever had a gun pointed to your head, been close to death...stuff like that!

JAMES- When I ran away from my parents home I nearly died from the cold!

JESSE- Never had a gun pointed to our heads though! Although there's time yet for that to happen I guess!

MEOWTH- Knowin' da boss he'll probably shoot us if we don't catch a rare Pokémon soon!

ME- Well okay! Right this one is to James. No offence, but are you gay?

JAMES- (NOT TO HAPPY) Oh why is it that everyone thinks I'm gay!

MEOWTH- You cross dress...

JESSE- The way you talk....

MEOWTH- You have feelin's...

JESSE- Your always holding that rose...

JAMES- Okay okay! Get the point! No I'm not Gay!

ME- Okay! you visited London before you came to our little town. Did you do anything interesting?

JAMES- We rode that giant Millennium Ferris wheel!

MEOWTH- And looked at that Millennium Dome!

JAMES- And walked across that Millennium Bridge!

JESSE- What is it with you brits and the Millennium! It wasn't that great! I preferred that Buckingham palace!

JAMES- Yeah we pulled faces at the guards!

MEOWTH- and we went to that thingy street where that leader bloke of yours lives...what's his name?

ME- oh Tony Blair!

MEOWTH- Yeah Tony Blair

JAMES- We pulled faces at him too!

ME- Did you go to any of the art galleries?

JESSE- A few! But I find art so boring!

JAMES- (AS HIS EYES LOOK ROUND THE ROOM WE ARE IN) I dunno some of the stuff in here is pretty good!

MEOWTH- (LOOKING AT SOME WORK ON THE WALL) Yeah but this work sucks! Who did this.

ME- (I LOOK AT HIM) That's my work!

JESSE- Oh your an art student!

(THEY LAUGH NERVOUSLY THEN GO DEADLY QUIET)

ME- Well okay then! What do you guys wear in bed?

JAMES- (ANSWERING WITHOUT THINKING) Nothing! (HIS TEAM MATES STARE AT HIM, JAMES JUST GETS EMBARRASSED)

JESSE- A night gown like normal people!

MEOWTH- A night cap! That's about it!

ME- Right! Who funds all your weird contraptions to capture Pikachu and other Pokémon?

JAMES- The boss mostly!

JESSE- He loses fortune's with us!

ME- Okay. next question. How long have you been chasing that Pikachu now?

JESSE- Coming onto a year I think!

JAMES- Are we just wasting our life's? 

ME- Right! Ever though of quitting Team Rocket?

JAMES- (SMILES) All the time! (HE GETS A MALLET ACROSS THE HEAD FROM JESSE)

JESSE-(SHOUTING AT HIM) You ain't supposed to tell them that!

ME- Okay now this one is to Jesse and James. Are you two together or not?

JAMES- What do you mean? As in together, together?

JESSE- Absolutely not! Never have never will! Next Question!

(I DECIDE TO MOVE ON AS JAMES IS BEGINNING TO LOOK A LITTLE HEART BROKEN)

ME- Okay! Moving on! When you two were in Pokémon Tech did you pull any good pranks on your teachers and classmates?

JESSE- Of course! You can't go through school without pulling a few pranks!

JAMES- Me and Jess did this prank once where we signed a valentine's card to a teacher and signed it from another classmate who had a secret crush on him!

JESSE- We left it in his classroom, but the prank kinda backfired a little when the two did start a relationship and he got fired!

JAMES- But it was really funny!

JESSE- Yeah! 'cos we hated that teacher anyway!

ME- Great! Okay! Have any of you ever had an experience with the paranormal?

JESSE- I saw a ghost once! Well I think.

JAMES- I haven't had any experience. But I want to see a UFO and be abducted by aliens!

MEOWTH- Why would they want to abduct you! (WITH THAT JAMES SLAMS MEOWTH TO THE FLOOR AND STOMPS ON HIM, FIRST REBELLION JAMES HAS DONE ALL DAY)

ME- James this question is for you.

JAMES- It better not have anything to do about people thinking I'm Gay again!

ME- No it doesn't! Now where did you get your Weepinbelle (now a Victeribelle) From?

JAMES- I caught it fair and square and if you didn't get that episode it'll probably be one of the one's that were banned!

ME- Okay I'll take your word for it! Do you need a license to use that Meowth Balloon?

JESSE- What kind of stupid question is that! Of course we don't!

ME- Sorry! What do you think of all the Internet sites dedicated to you?

MEOWTH- They're alright!

JAMES- I'm surprised there are people out there who like us!

ME- and what about all the fanfics and fan art of you that are done by the fans themselves?

JAMES- Some of them are pretty good!

JESSE- Yeah! But I don't get something! How come I'm always the one to get picked on. I've read loads of those fanfics and I'm always the one to get shot, die, go blind and I must commit suicide on at least three I've read. 

ME- Yes! but it plays on the fact that you have hidden feelings and that you show your true feelings when you are in these situations!

JESSE- I'm not saying there bad 'cos there all good, but pick on James and Meowth for a while will ya?

ME- Okay! Why are you so mean?

MEOWTH- We ain't mean 'cos we want to!

JAMES- It's because we have to, anyway I wouldn't call it being mean. (THEY BOTH GET A PAPER FAN OVER THEIR HEADS BY JESSE)

JESSE- Of course we're mean, that's the hole point!

ME- Right! What do you think of Digimon?

JESSE- Terrible!

JAMES- Strange!

MEOWTH- I like Gatomon!

ME- K that was short and sweet! Okay have you ever been on holiday and if so where?

JAMES- We went to Disney world a few years ago!

MEOWTH- I liked the tea cup ride.

JESSE- We don't get that many holidays.

ME- Neither do I! Okay this question is a bit weird, I was watching MTV at the time!

JAMES- Ohhh, what is it!

ME- Have you ever smelt teen spirit?

JESSE- Ah the Nirvana song! I like that one! Erm....can't say I ever have myself!

JAMES- What does it smell like?

MEOWTH- Teenagers I guess!

JAMES- What do they smell like?

MEOWTH- Well you probably, 'cos your a teen!

(JAMES SNIFFS HIS SHIRT)

JAMES- Oh that's what it smells like!

ME- Moving on! How's life as a famous cartoon star?

JESSE- Just the same as not being a famous cartoon star!

MEOWTH- It's great! we have lots of fun!

JAMES- I hate the early hours and the late nights!

ME- I hate early mornings too. Okay the next question is also a little wired!

JESSE- Let me guess, you were watching MTV at the time!

ME- Yep! Okay here we go! Have either of you two ever gone through a teen Goth stage, most teens do these days?

JESSE- Teen Goth stage?

JAMES- Yeah that's when people dress all in black, listen to freaky music and the guys wear black nail polish!

MEOWTH- Ah! Wit da crossdressin' your halfway there James! (JAMES, AGAIN STOMPS ON HIS TEAM MATE)

JESSE- I'll just say no!

ME- Ah! This question is funny! Have any of you got any tatoos or piercing that I should know about!

JESSE- Not any that YOU should know about

ME- Is that a yes then!

JAMES- None of us have tattoos or piercings

JESSE- Although I would really like to get my belly-button pierced!

ME- Cool! I wouldn't be able to put up with the pain! Okay this one is to James. Why do you let Jesse boss you about so much.

JAMES- Erm...'cos if I don't she'll hurt me. Plus she's the leader!

ME- Okay! Right, if you were all to go back in time which era would you go to?

JESSE- The groovy sixties, with free love and all that stuff!

JAMES- The stone age! I wanna meet the Flintstones!

MEOWTH- Why go back in time when you can go forwards! But if I had to go back, I'd go back to one of the times we failed to catch that Pikachu see what we did wrong and do it again.

ME- Okay! Do any of you have any hidden talents?

JAMES- We can sing!

JESSE- Want us to demonstrate!

(WITH THAT THEY LAUNCH INTO THE SONG THAT THEY SUNG IN THE POKÉMON EPISODE "THE SONG OF JIGGLYPUFF". MY COLLEGE BUDDIES LOOK AT THEM GRITTING THEIR TEETH. AFTER THEY SIT BACK DOWN)

ME- Great! Great! Next question! What will you be doing for your 18th birthdays?

JESSE- We're cartoon characters we don't age! 

JAMES- But if we do reach 18 we'll probably have a wild party!

ME- Oh can I come?

JESSE- I don't see why not!

MEOWTH- What about me!

JESSE- No! (WITH THAT MEOWTH SCRATCHES JESSE'S FACE ONLY FOR HER TO RETALIATE WITH THROWING HIM HALFWAY ACROSS THE ROOM. MEOWTH LANDS ON THE TABLE MY COLLEGE BUDDIES ARE WORKING AT. THEY THROW HIM BACK AND HE SMACKS INTO THE WALL BEHIND ME)

ME- Okay! next question! Have either of you two ever thought of learning how to drive?

JAMES- I do drive!

JESSE- She means properly with a license!

JAMES- Oh! Well maybe!

ME- I'm not learning yet (WHISPER) The insurance on both my parents cars are a bit too much to put me on them.

(JESSE AND JAMES NOD. POOR OLD MEOWTH DOESN'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING ON ABOUT)

ME- Okay! Any of you been in love?

MEOWTH- Of course! Meowsie the reason I learnt to walk and talk like a human!

JESSE- No!

JAMES- What about that picture you carry around with you, Jess!

(JESSE JUST HITS HIM)

JESSE- That's no ones business!

ME- Okay! So what's the deal with Butch and Cassidy?

JESSE- (GETTING ANGRY) Don't ever mention those names, especially Cassidy!

ME- Jesse calm down! I need to ask you these questions! Now Jesse, some people believe that Cassidy is your sister...

JESSE- Why would they think that?

ME- Erm...it has something to do with your Japanese names I think. Lets see your Japanese name Jesse is Musashi and Cassidy's is Yamato apparently they were sister ships or something like that!

JESSE- That's ridiculous she isn't my sister!

ME- Okay just asking!

JAMES- What's my Japanese name?

ME- (AS I RIFFLE THROUGH A NOTE PAD) Kojiro!

JAMES- Kojiro! Cool!

ME- Just off the record! Do you guys know why the English script writers gave you the names Jesse and James?

JESSE- Of course we do! It came from an outlaw named Jesse James and just so you know that I'm not thick Butch and Cassidy are also named from an outlaw who was named Butch Cassidy! Ha see!

JAMES- I didn't know that!

ME- Okay this question is great! Do either of you want children when your older?

JESSE- I guess one day!

JAMES- Maybe!

MEOWTH- I'd love to teach my little Meowths how to be bad!

ME- okay can any of you do Pokémon impressions?

JESSE- Oh I'm quite good at impressions!

(THE NEXT HALF AN HOUR IS FULL OF JESSE DOING POKÉMON IMPRESSIONS, I'LL NEVER ASK THAT QUESTION AGAIN)

ME- Okay the next question goes towards Jesse! Who does your hair and how do you get it to deify Gravity like that?

JESSE- Who does my hair? A bloke called Federico! How do I get it look like this...well that's my secret and I'm not giving it out!

MEOWTH- Lotsa hairspray! (AGAIN MEOWTH IS TORMENTED BY JESSE THIS TIME WITH A MALLET TO THE HEAD)

ME- Okay! Have you ever thought of wearing it down?

JESSE- Not really! Maybe one day!

ME- okay! This is a question everyone wants the answer to. Why do you two cross dress so much?

JAMES- (TURNING TOWARDS JESSE) Yeah why do we cross dress so much?

JESSE- We have to it's in the job description. anyway we don't cross dress that much.

JAMES- You don't I do. That's because you always make me.

MEOWTH- Well I think she likes seeing you in dresses James! (WITH THAT HIS TEAM MATES BOTH STOMP ON HIM)

ME- Okay next question! If you two ever have kids (either together or with somebody different) What would you call them?

JESSE- Non of us think that far ahead!

ME- Well it's a great conversation topic. I'd call mine Trinity and Seven for girls and Milo for a boy. My friend Helen would call hers Jadzia and Wesley.

JAMES- Jadzia?

JESSE- Well guess Jadzia is nice! Anyway we have no idea what we would call our kids!

ME- Okay James here's another one for you! Erm...what is the deal with the forbidden Poké-ep "Holiday in Aclopoco? (NOTES: THAT IS A POKÉMON EPISODE THAT HASN'T BEEN SHOWN IN AMERICA AND ENGLAND BECAUSE OF IT'S CONTENT....JAMES HAS WELL A FEMALE CHEST)

JAMES- Why? ave you seen that episode?

ME- No unfortunately! Since I live here in good old England, but I wanna see it. I just wanna make sure you aren't taking any female hormone pills or something!

JAMES- Okay! The deal with that is that it's a body suit, that's all a body suit!

ME- Extremely convincing Body suit! Do you know, that episode would of been rated 12 over here!

JESSE- Really!

ME- Well I heard that over in Japan your show is made for 12 year old and up. Over here it's for 5 to 12 year olds!

JESSE- And your 17 and watch it!

ME- Okay moving on! Do any of you know what a rocketshipper is?

JAMES- No!

ME- Really you don't?

JESSE- Well what is a rocketshipper?

ME- It's someone who wants you two to get together.

JAMES- Really! They gave it a name!

ME- Yep! I'm a rocketshipper, I live for you two to get together.

JESSE- Okay moving on!

ME- K! How do all three of you survive through some much torture. Either from Pikachu, other Pokémon or each other?

JAMES- I honestly don't know!

JESSE- We're cartoon characters! that's my excuse!

ME- Technically, if you get shocked by that Pikachu, your insides would be cooked by now and the amount of times that you, Jesse, have hit or pummeled your Team Mates I'm surprised they're not in a coma or dead!

MEOWTH- It must be 'cos were cartoon characters!

ME- Must be! Okay What is your favoruite Pokémon?

JAMES- My Weezing!

JESSE- My Arbok!

MEOWTH- (WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES) What about me you guys!

JESSE & JAMES- And Meowth!

ME- Do you have any favoruites that you don't have?

JESSE- I guess they're all great!

JAMES- Erm....I think I'd have to choose....an Eevee it's cute and rare!

ME- Cool! I'd choose....erm Pichu, Mew and Charmander. Okay next question! If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change?

JESSE- I'm perfect! Nothing needs changing!

MEOWTH- I'd change Jesse's attitude! (OH DEAR! MEOWTH GETS PUMMELED BY JESSE AGAIN)

ME- Okay! Do you ever feel like a failure?

JAMES- All the time!

JESSE- 24 hours a day!

MEOWTH- 7 days a week!

ME- Okay! ever thought of having your own show?

JESSE- Oh yes! My show would be great!

ME- I kinda meant together as a team!

JESSE- Well maybe! But I'd be the star!

ME- Right! If you weren't in Team Rocket what job would you have?

JAMES- I'd probably be a Pokémon trainer. Everyone else is!

JESSE- I'd be a famous actress!

MEOWTH- I wouldn't have another job! I'd probably be with the street Meowth's!

ME- Okay this is the last question! Do any of you surf the net often?

JESSE- When I can get it to work! I'm not that good with computers!

JAMES- I like the net, I like it because there's a website for everything!

MEOWTH- Yeah! You just put in a word like cooker and it lists thousands of sites!

ME- Okay! Do Team Rocket have an official web site?

JAMES- Yes! It's www.teamrocket. ......

ME- (I INTERRUPT HIM) Well that's all the time we have left. I'd like to thank Team Rocket for being here and answering these questions. Bye!



Okay If any of you have a question you want asking (either to Team Rocket or any other Pokémon character) then e-mail me at togepi_3@hotmail.com. They can be serious, funny, surreal or whatever any question goes. I hope you enjoyed this interview.