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As Ice Melts Part One: Kuwabara's Cry I fall down on my knees as I watch
dumbfounded the scenario around me. Suddenly, I just don't care about cold
anymore. My
body feels like it were just a little ant bitting
me; it might makes me angry, but with no true power to kill me. And it was
true. Just now, the threatening chilly wind is only a covering for the tender
life which is fleeing from me, and for which I have no power to hold on to. I must watch, powerless, while the
reason of my breathing, of my smile, of my own whole life, lays postrate
on a thick snow layer. I don't know how, but from deeps of my mind hops an
irony and I barely notice I say it aloud, even in a whisper: "From Ice
she was born and to Ice she would end..." My vision began to blur and I
get myself confuse, shaking my head, attempting to understand what is going
on. I close my eyes and look around; I just manage to see white blurs
scattered everywhere. Finally, my mind starts a time of
sanity in all that mess and realize my teardrops, gushing out my eyes.
They run across my face until find my chin, and drip to ground from there. I want to get close her, but my legs
hold me back. Knelt as I am, I can just touch the icy ground beneath with my
hands. I listen to my cry and scream, as I found hard to believe they were
mine. So much pain, so horror and missing I know are presented in them. Those
feelings I always wanted to keep away from her, from us. How useless my
efforts were... I find now that nothing might escape from fate. Strong sobs shake my body, and I do
an effort to lift my head up. My eyes should only focus her small body. I
reach out her, even knowing there are a few meters between us. I suddenly
feel my own body aching and fatigue overcoming it. With another huge effort,
I try to stand up, however my legs are too wobbly to withstand my weight. I
slip down quickly and whether I don't get down again, that is because of two
pairs of hands that hang me on. My sight slowly blurs and become black as
well as my conscious dulls. I listen to voices calling me. I
can't get from where they come, but in fact, it doesn't worry me. I wanna
stay alone. My only companion ought to be
solicitude. Nothing else. I look around, for the first time wondering where am I. My numbbed mind manage to
catch glimpses of my whereabouts: I'm in nowhere. An empty space lies along, my sight couldn't get its end, if it ends
somewhere. I back eyeing ground underneath me. It's cold. My stubborn mind then start bringing up memories of hers, and that's
too painful to me. I try - and fails - to forget all
those, I just wanna clean my mind, I wanna... What do I want? How I could be
so silly, guessing I'll forget her sweetness, her gentle and warmful smiles? Her face, with a delicate complexion...
The perfume coming from her little body... I put my hands on my head, as if
wanting to snatch my mind away. Kuso, I need a rest! I feel tiredness occuping each milimeter of my
body and those memories just aid my fatigue and I feel like madness should
taking control over me. I know I must be strong, I *must* go on, but... the
empty life which waits me drive me crazy. It's like being in a river, trying
to swim, absolutely lost, and the only branchs
leaned over the river are filled with thorns. Every time I try to rescue
myself, pain hinders me to get out river. More teardrops emerge from my eyes
and I scream. I let all that pain pour out with tears. I need to relieve my
soul. No more time to cries. I know it gonna be painful, and I
should sorrow for a period, but that's what our destiny put on our ways. I
ought to find courage to do so. I can't disappoint her. I won't. A wind, all of a sudden, blows
behind me. I frown, as I sense a ki coming with
wind. A soft ki. I widen my eyes, an
acknowledgement runs over my spine, and I turn around gradually. My eyes
goggled as my mouth opens a lot at my vision. I close my eyes and shake my
head sometimes, then open my eyes again, as if verifying that's not a mirage.
She came to me. I observe her
beautiful face, smiling at me. A wind waves her hair, free now. Weird enough,
I can't get from where that wind comes, as I even not feel it. But it does
not interest me now. A beam takes my face and I cry again, now for relief.
Seeing her face always made me feel brand new. I dumbfound as I watch her
giving a step towards me. Actually, I imagined she would be that way, far
from me, but even so, a relief to my heart. Her nearness scared and gladdened
me at the same time. She kneels in front of me, and
gently, as always, touches my face with one hand. She's in peace,
I can see it into her eyes. I manage to speak something,
however her hand slips over my mouth, a silent request to be quiet. I accept
that, even not understanding why. Hesitantly, I touch her face. This scene is
so amazing, I'm afraid it dissipates before I could say all words I must have
speaken years ago. But she ask
silence to me, how could I negate something to her? I can't take my eyes of her, and how
amazed I am, when I see her mouth beginning to move, and I hear a sound
coming out it. I close my eyes once more, listening to it. I must register
her voice into my mind, for my future. "Kazu-kun?
Are you hearing me?" she says, half-laughing. I open my eyes and find
her purple eyes looking into mine. I nod. "Stop crying, kudasai. Unfortunatelly, it
happened, but one day or another it should, you know it. Let things be as
they are." "I c-can't..." I whine.
*She can't ask to me to forget her.*, it's the only thought hammering my
mind. "Yes, ya can. You know you
will. Kazu-kun, you know there are people wanting
for you, needing you to back to them. They love you, even they don't tell ya.
I think... I think even Hiei's missing you. You
must support him for me, Kazuma..." I dumfound while hearing her last
words. What she means-? The idea which crosses over my mind,
let me shocked. I wanna ask her, but I'm afraid of her answer. I bow my head,
as trying to swallow the idea. Hiei... Hiei and she... "What's going on you?" "..." "Kazuma,
tell me. Can't you help Hiei for me? I beg you, please. Right now, I can
sense him so fragile. Hiei's weakness is his
feelings. He attempts to avoid them, but he can't grasp them out his
heart..." "Don't ask it to me!" I
shout out. She looks at me, scared. "Ka-Kazu-kun..." I look into her eyes, while joining
pieces of courage from my broken heart. "You can't ask it to me, Yukina." I gasp. She only keeps her intense sight
into mine. She appeared to be scrutinizing my heart and soul. Her voice comes
out softly, asking me why. "I-I... I love you. Since the
first I saw you, even it was by videotape. Since then I can't take you away
my mind." I begin, half bewildered. "Listen to you, saying me to
help Hiei; I can't help the idea. Maybe that jerk was right... I'm really a airhead... I never realized anything..." she makes
me shut up, putting a hand over my mouth, once again. Laughing at me, she
begins to say: "Kazu-kun...
You're so adorable! I also love you,"
"D-do you?" I found my
mind confused. "But, Hiei, I mean-" I stammer. "Hiei-kun is my dear oniisan," she tells me, then laughs at me a bit more
as she looks at my widened eyes. "He needs your help, even not saying
that. Are you going to help him for me, Kazu-kun?" I'm mute. From sadness I was dived,
I emerged full of happiness. Of course, he would. Even I thinking about Hiei
as a stubborn jerk, even so he would help him to get through her death. Just
because she asked him to do so; just because she loved him... "Kazu-kun?"
she still waits my answer. I look into her eyes once more, and murmur: "Sure..." She beams and I finger her lips.
They're so slim, and soft... I bend over her, and before I close my own eyes,
I glance at she, closing her eyes too. I feel then
her soft lips meeting mine. Her scent enters my nose, and I breath even deeper. My hands are holding her at waist, I
grasp her kimono strongly. She gives a sigh, after break the kiss. "Kazu-kun... I..." I put my hand over mouth, as she
did to me, minutes ago. "Don't speak. If we do it, we
won't be able to continue," I say gently. She looks at me, she's so
fragile. "Ai shiteru." "Ai shiteru."
she whispers, as I lay her down and again bend over her. Our kiss gets deeper
every second, and my hands begins to trail her
lines... My eyes blink. Sun rays plunge my
bedroom and caress my face. I put a hand ahead my face, trying to avoid them. My vision gets used to brightness bit by bit. I look
over, attempting to realize where I am. I hear a noise which sounds like a
door being opened and I turn my head at its direction. A girl in her twenties
comes in. "Shi-Shizuru?"
I ask, uncertain. My mind is still confuse. She looks at me, astonished. I see she opening her mouth, but she shut it up then. Seconds
ticks by, and an oppressive silence falls down the place. "Shizuru,
what had happened?" she doesn't answer me. She runs at me, tears
dripping from her eyes. She hugs me with a force I don't remember she has. "Kazuma..."
she whimpers, her head against my chest. I hold her head, doing her to look
at me. "What had happened?" I ask once again. "Don't think about it, Kazu-chan, look, I'll make a breakfast to you, okay? Your
friends are going to be hap-" "Stop! Answer me. Yukina-chan is really dead, isn't she?" "Kazuma...
I hoped you didn't remind this fatality; I know how you loved her..."
she begins to say, attempting to console me. "You're wrong. I *love*
her," "I know, I know. Kazu-chan, you got in shock afterwards. Yusuke and Kurama
brought you back here." "How many days?" "Hn. Five days. I was afraid
you never recover from that..." she says, crying again. "Don't worry,
oneechan. Yukina-chan is
still alive," She goggled at me, likely thinking I
got mad. "Ka-Kazu-" "Hey, relax. She's here,"
I point my right chest. "Into my heart." She smiles and getting up, goes out
my bedroom, to bring me a snack. Hunger takes me now. I sigh as I stand up,
going to my window. Out there, the sky is a pretty blue, a perfect summer
morning. I smile looking at it, while her smiling face becomes visible to me
in the sky. "Deep in my heart. Forever, koibito." Did you liked
it? Hey, I loved write this. ^_~ I thought I'd never find a plot to a Kuwabara fic, and one night,
bang! the idea hit me! Please await
to the 2nd part, it's coming soon... Ai shiteru:
I love you (do I need to say more? ^_^) |
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As Ice Melts Part Two: Hiei's Silence I hop from the branch I am to your
grave. I don't know why I am here once more. But the thruth
is I miss you. I regret now never told you about your oniisan.
However, I guess you might not like his identity. It doesn't matter anymore, more important right now is wish you peace
wherever you are. I throw a white rose to her grave.
I've taken it from Minamino's garden. I don't know
whether this is your favourite flower or not,
but... I thought I couldn't get here with empty hands, like I always did. You
asked me to search for your twin brother, and I never knew why you did it. To
protect my secret, I told you *he* was dead, instead of been in front of you,
babbling all that foolishness. I crouch and my right hand wanders acroos her grave earth. Grass didn't grow there yet.
Funny, I still manage to sense her ki, deep in
earth, even after six days. My fist clenches and I grit as I remember the
scene of her death. Pain, pain runs my chest thus
emerging at my throat and it tightens. It's suffocating, and I don't know how
to relieve it. My eyes starts burning so I close
them. I need to free it, but I don't do it. I don't even know how. All of a
sudden, however, a sob shake my body, soon being followed by many other. My
eyes, they're still dry, aching and I feel them swollen. I'm on my fours
limbs, feeling like my whole body wanted to dig down here and rest deep down. Yukina... I need you. Since the day we were born I was neglated by my own people, I had to live by my own. I was
just a baby. I became a threatening and cruel fighter, who only found his
peace when admiring a small gift of his childhood: a tear gem. As usual in my
behavior, I headed to koorime's land to find those
ones who once despised me. Instead of it, I found nothing worthy to kill
there. I only discovered a secrect hidden from me.
Another child was born with me, a girl named Yukina,
who was missing... Since I knew your existence, sister,
I did my utmost to find you out. But what for? Alright, I rescued you from
that disgusting ningen, but even so, what for? When
you asked me who in hell I was, my only answer was that I was one of Kuwabara's companions. My lie grew stronger since then, I
could not control it. I had no way to back and restart. And that all matters
now? You're dead, that's the point. I'd like to ask Enma
Daiou to bring you back. I find myself smirking.
That's the most absurd thing to think about. Enma Daiou pleasing me! I think you guess how powerless I'm
feeling right now. Just me, one of the most feared youkais.
I had fought everything and everybody but I can't help your death. Death,
something I face since I was a baby; I always surpassed it, always gave it as
a special gift to weaklings. And now it came to take you away, showing me how
weakling I can be. Wind blows over graveyard. I lift my
head up, looking at sky. it's getting dark, maybe
tonight should rain. I get up and my eyes find ground once more. I stare at
her grave a few minutes more, then I realize a hand
on my left shoulder. I don't even look back, I
acknowledge his ki at once. I get embarassed and ashamed to be seen like this. But,
somehow, the fact of being him relieves a lot. "She mustn't have been there...
If that jerk-" I stop the sentence, not knowing why. "It wasn't his fault. She
thought of being a helping hand," the hand on his shoulder holds tight a
bit, as attempting to give some comfort. "No one had news from you since
then. Everyone got worried." "No jokes," I smirk. "I'm not kidding. Look, Hiei,
you're not the only one who got hurt when she died," "Don't you dare to compare me
to that silly ningen!!"
I shout out, as grabbing his hand out me. I turn around violently. My eyes
are narrowed, burning fire, I know my face's dark.
My teeth grit with my angst. I watch Kurama closing his eyes and
bowing his head, sighing. He shakes his head, as awaiting
for that reaction of mine. So, why did come here to bother me? "How did
you find me?" I ask. With his eyes still shut, his soft
voice came out: "Well, I was sure you ought to pop up here sooner or later.
In fact, it was a matter of waiting for you." "What for?" my tone softs a bit. I don't know wether
it's his intention or not, however talking to him makes me relax and my mind
lightens. Even so, my expression is still scowling. Kurama opens his eyes before my
question and glances at me with that melancholy expression of his which
always puzzled me. "Which reply do you want me to
say? We both know you're going to refuse any of them." "Why don't you just answer
me?" I say, between gritted teeth. "I've already told you.
Everyone was worried about you and Kuwabara,"
he begins. "That damned bastard
again!-" "Let me finish first!"
Kurama says in a harsh tone. "On way or another, the gang was sure Kuwabara-kun would overcome her death. Who do worry us is you, Hiei." I look away. I just can't believe he
came here to say that nonsense. Minute by minute, darkness is covering Ningenkai. Thick dark gray clouds are adorning the sky,
warning all its inhabitants to stay in home. I don't wanna let his
conversation go on, so I gradually turn around and step forward. Why didn't I
simply vanish in thin air as usual, I never know. Actually, I promptly stop
my walking when Kurama whispers my name, but I don't turn even my head. "Go to Kuwabara's,"
he speaks in a murmur. "I came here to tell you this. Seems he's got a
message addressed to you." "Hn." I smirk, this time
looking back. "What kind of *message* a moron like him wanna tell
me?" this time is enough. After being compared to that baka, I'm
requested to go to see him! Do they really guess I'm feeling gloomy this way?
I jump upwards and as fast as I can, I disappear. Before I go, however, I
manage to listen to Kurama replying me: "... Yukina..." Thick raindrops hit my whole body, I
don't care about them. Just wanna sit here, at Kuwabara's
roof, either thinking nothing or considering if I should speak to that moron.
Why should I getting myself bothered by it? I must confess I'm too curious
about what kind of news from Yukina he is supposed
to tell me. But, what a heck, how had Kuwabara
talked to my sister? One of my eyebrows raises. It's
weird. *Eh. I do
dislike him, especially when he began to court her. I hated to watch her
addressing him her warmful smiles; her worry about
the ningen sickened I slip down to Kuwabara's
window. Fortunatelly it is opened, then I just hop
in and sit on his desk. The idiot's not here, so the only thing I do is
exhort my youki a little, just a way to say him
'I'm home, asshole, come here,' however I do wonder if that jerk would get
it. Seconds later, I'm able to hear frantic steps towards this room. The door
opens wide, showing the annoyed Kuwabara. I don't speak anything, but I keep
my eyes focusing him. He looks like being angry, but who cares? He could be
dead, if someone asks me. I just wanna my sister's message. "You've been around my home
since a couple of hours ago. Why did you choose to enter right at my dinner
time?" growls Kuwabara. "I don't give a damn whether
you're eating. Just wanna know the message you've got to me." I grimace
then smirking. *I've interrupted his dinner, good...* Kuwabara shuts the door, and with his scowling expression, sits
on his bed, right in front of me. His look stays upon me all time. He opens
his mouth but stops. At last, I hear his voice: "You're an asshole you
know," my eyes opens wide, as my blood burns in
my veins. I'm not here to be insulted. I guess he senses my youki twisting and says: "There's no message. I've told
so to make you come here. However Yukina-chan asked
me to speak to you," he begins. My anger's coming to its limits. A fake.
Time now to decide how should be his death. And the fox's too, since surely
he was in that either. How dare them to use my sister's name... "Stop being pigheaded! And cut
off your youki. This isn't a contest, Hiei." "H-how dare you-!" I say
between gritted teeth, losing my control and finding myself sword on hands.
I'm suppose to scare him, exhorting my full ki and pointing my sword at him and I'm frustate he doesn't move a muscle. In fact, to my amaze,
his scowling becomes a soft, calm expression. "I-I didn't realize how hurt
you're Hiei. You know, I got angry and hated you even more, for you never
told Yukina the thruth.
But looking at you now, I'm just... sorry about that," he says so, looking
down. My anger dissipates bit by bit, I
don't know how or why. I'd have been angry by his speech. My expression also softs and I find me puzzled. I'm mute and close my eyes,
bowing my head. "She asked me... She asked me
to support you. I don't know how she-" he stops the sentence, I wonder
if it was because he hears a thud. I'm down on my knees and the same
pain which ate into my heart at graveyard comes to inflicts me once more.
Panting, I look up, staring at that moron's face. I abhor him for seeing me
in this (frail) state. I try to speak something but my voice's
trapped at my throat. I hear that baka's voice,
then. "Are you okay?" I dion't answer. "Look, it was a shock to me to know
you're her oniisan. Actually, you get on my nerves,
but you know, I don't think you're bad at all. She was glad, Hiei. Yukina-chan was proud of being your sister." His voice echoes through my mind.
Pride. She's proud of me? How can she-? Once again I hear Kuwabara
asking me if I'm alright. My eyes burn and all of a sudden I sense it's time
to go. Kuwabara has already taken in delight of my
angst enough. I get up as I frown, and without a word, I walk towards window.
I sense his eyes on me, watching me with a strange concerned expression. This
disgusts me a lot. However, when I'm ready to get away, something makes me
look back and says to him: "Yukina
didn't make a choice so bad, at all," my tone is harsh, on contrary my
words. Before jumping to outsides, I see the baka taken aback, mumbling 'nani?!' I'm back to her grave. Rain has
stopped a few minutes ago. The last words from Kuwabara
hammered my mind all way to here. Snapshots of Yukina
pass before my eyes. Her cheerful smiles then were printed there. I'm smiling and how surprised I am. never expected to find myself this way. I kneel down,
looking at her grave. I realize some beads moistening earth. At the same time
a salt taste appear in my mouth. I slip a hand across my cheeks. Tears. It's
my teardrops. I don't understand it. I never cried, why now? I always thought
tears were for weaklings. Sentimentalism... *Imooto...* I
close my eyes and open them at once a sec later. Funny... I think I fell her youki coming nearer. I
look around, of course, I see nothing. I back my sight to Yukina's
grave and I'm taken aback. I blink a few times, trying to believe in my own
eyes. "Sorry if I surprised
you," she begins to say. She's sitting ahead and her warmful
smile is there. A ghostly wind blows, playing withher
light green hair. I manage to get up, and reach out my hand, which she holds
between with her both hands. I'm still staring at her, amazed. I
hear myself babbling: "Imooto," "Niisan,"
she replies. "I'm so glad of you. I'm so relieved you and Kazu-kun..." "Eh, don't say that moron's
name again," I regret my words as I see a bit of sadness taking her
face. "Gomen. I just-" "Forget it. I know you both
shall accept each other," she beams. I find myself smiling, a true smile
for the second time in my life. Suddenly, she bents over me and kiss
my forehead, on my jagan. I close my eyes and feel
my teardrops emerging once again. "I love you, niisan. I shall love you forever. And you, you must live
forever for we both, okay?" Slowly I open my eyes and realize
she's gone. Rain begins to fall again. In the darkness of that graveyard, I
hear my own voice promising in a whisper: "I will..." That's it!! Here ends As Ice Melts.
I hope you all have enjoyed this shortfic, guys.
This was my last fic from 1999 year. ^_^ Anyway,
you know, any corretions, requests, complains,
congratulations, or anything else your mind should image, just drop me a
note, right? Baka: idiot (perjorative) |