Quatre: Duo, tell us a bedtime story please.
Trowa: Yeah.
Duo: Okay, but after the story, we need to get some sleep.
Quatre: [sipping hot chocolate] Woohoo!!
Duo: What kinda story do you want?
Heero: A story about death.
Trowa: A circus story.
Quatre: A fairy-tale like my sisters used to tell!
Duo: Quatre, I’m not one of your sisters. No fairy-tales!
Heero: You kinda look like a girl with that braid, Duo.
Duo: Yeah? Well…you’re a heartless one to talk, ignoring the one you love.
[Duo hurls a pillow at Heero and pegs him in the head. Heero flings it back at Duo and glares at him]
Heero: I’m going to kill you, Duo.
Duo: Yeah, well you keep saying that about Relena and you haven’t killed her yet!
Heero: Just wait.
Quatre: I want a fairy-tale.
Wufei: FAIRY-TALES ARE WEAK! ACTION STORIES ARE STRONG!
Trowa: Action it is.
[The boys settle in their sleeping bags as Duo begins his story. Quatre sulks a little because he does not like action stories. They are too violent]
Duo: Okay. Out in space a long time ago…
Quatre: Start with once upon a time.
Duo: Okay. ONCE upon a time out in space a long time ago, there was a man who feared nothing.
Wufei: FEAR IS WEAK!
Trowa and Heero: SHUT UP WUFEI!
Wufei: Sorry, I get carried away sometimes…especially after drinking hot chocolate.
Duo: Yeah, we noticed. [clears throat] As I was saying…there was a man who feared nothing.
This man was named…Duo.
Heero: Use a FAKE name!
Trowa: Yeah. You’re not fearless.
Quatre: You’re the one who wet his pants at the zoo today when that snake climbed onto your shoulder.
Duo: Hey…How was I supposed to know that Heero opened the cage so that python could get out?!
Trowa: That was mean, Heero. Duo is afraid of snakes.
Duo: Fine. Point made. I’ll change the name.
Wufei: SNAKES ARE WEAK!
Duo and Quatre: SHUT UP WUFEI!
Trowa: Listen.
Duo: So BOB was sitting in his command compound when a transmission came in. A giant monster was attacking a colony in space. So BOB jumped into his Gundam, which was named Seibring and…
Wufei: You can’t name it Seibring. That’s a type of car. Name it after his dead wife.
Quatre: Name it ladybug!
All but Quatre: LADYBUG?!?!?
Trowa: Call it Darkwing.
Duo: So…He got in his Gundam named DARKWING and flew to colony X3059969. Once he approached the colony, he saw it!
Quatre: What did he see?
Trowa: Shh…he’s going to tell.
Wufei: Did he see the monster?
Duo: Yes, he did. But, it
was more than a monster…it was a mechanical monster!
Heero: What did it look like?
Duo: It looked like a giant mechanical version of Lady Une!
[All Scream]
Duo: Bob took Darkwing’s scythe out and positioned himself to fight the Une-bot.
Trowa: Make him do flips.
Duo: Bob FLIPPED into action as the fight started. He fought the Une-bot and destroyed it easily. ALL OF A SUDDEN – A GIANT GRASSHOPPER JUMPED INTO BOB’S PATH!
Quatre: [crying] Grasshoppers scare me!
Wufei: GRASSHOPPERS ARE WEAK!
Heero: He will complete his mission.
Duo: So ANYWAYS, Bob…
Trowa: Does he pull out his guns?
Duo: Yes, he pulls out his guns and…
Heero: I like guns.
Quatre: Guns are bad, Heero. They are weapons of destruction.
Wufei: GUNS ARE WEAK! MARTIAL ARTS ARE STRONG!
Duo: Bob’s massive guns could not penetrate the grasshopper’s armor, so his Gundam used martial arts to destroy it.
Wufei: Yeah!
Duo: Bob’s mission had been successful. He went back to the command compound and celebrated with his buddies. The liquor sure flowed that night!
Heero: That was a good story.
Trowa: Yeah.
Wufei: ACTION STORIES ARE STRONG!
Quatre: Could you make that non-alcoholic beverages? I want a fairy-tale.
All but Quatre: NO FAIRY-TALES!
Duo: Well, that’s the end. We need to get to bed now. The ball is tomorrow.
Heero: I hate balls.
Wufei: BALLS ARE WEAK!
Duo: Yeah, but there will be a lot of babes there!
Trowa: …babes…
Wufei: WOMEN ARE WEAK!
Duo: Hey Heero! I bet Relena will be there.
Heero: [glaring at Duo] I’m going to kill you.
Duo: Weeeeeell…..excuse me. Goodnight everyone.
[Duo flipped off the light switch]
Quatre: Goodnight everyone. Pleasant dreams.
Wufei: DREAMS ARE WEAK!
Heero: ‘Night.
Trowa: …ZZZZZZ….