Disclaimer: Neither I nor Ivory Quill own Gundam Wing. I do not feel like being decorative so you aren’t going to get a funny disclaimer today. Live with it.

Notes: Bryn (Ivory Quill) and I wrote this together quite some time ago, and I recently found it again while cleaning out my harddrive and decided to post it for your enjoyment. ^-^

A Cliché Fic Gone Wrong

By Katelyn

 

 

 

Relena watched the faces of the many men who would love to marry her. The one face she wanted to see was not among them.

"What?!" exploded Bryn. "What the heck are you doing!?"

"I'm writing a stupid cliche fic," responded Katelyn, looking up from the computer. "It's a sappy, moronic Relena-throws-a-party-and-Heero-comes 1xR romance cliche fic."

Bryn's face lit up. "Let me type!" She shoved Katelyn out of the computer chair and started writing.

"My Heero, where are you?" she whispered.

Katelyn face-faulted. "You're even worse than me."

"Shhhhush! Do not disturb the master!"

Then she saw him. Heero was walking toward the balcony in a dark blue suit. She was overjoyed to see her love had in fact come to her party! "He's so HOT!" she shouted.

"WHAT?"

"Did you mean to type that?" asked Katelyn.

"No!" replied Bryn. "It's was supposed to be, 'He's finally come for me'!"

Katelyn shoved Bryn away from the computer. "Let a pro handle this."

"He's finally come for me," she murmured. She made her way out to the balcony to meet him. He seemed startled to see her. "I thought Duo was hosting this party," he remarked.

"WHAT IN THE NINE HELLS!" Katelyn shouted. "I typed, 'You look beautiful tonight, Relena'!"

"Just keep writing," said Bryn. "Smile and nod, smile and nod."

"You look beautiful tonight, Relena." He leaned toward her. "Should we tell them?"

"That doesn't sound very cliche," remarked Bryn.

"I didn't type it," said Katelyn. "Tell who what?"

"You didn't write it? Then who did?"

"Let's try this again." Katelyn sat down at the computer and began typing.

"We're rebelling against these unfair cliche fics," Relena said.

Both Bryn and Katelyn fell over anime-style.

"You're not allowed to do that!" shouted Katelyn.

"Oh yeah?" asked Heero. "Watch us."

"Maybe you should start typing," Katelyn suggested nervously to Bryn.

"Gladly." Bryn sat down at the computer.

"You think we'll obey your keyboard?" Relena asked. "Fat chance."

"Crap."

"Keep typing! Keep typing! Maybe it'll go back to normal!" Katelyn yelled, near hysteria.

Just then Relena's favorite song began to play. "May I have this dance?" Heero asked gallantly. Relena smiled and curtsied. "Of course."

"Phew," Katelyn sighed, "It's working."

"I told you I was the master," Bryn said proudly.

Then Relena's favorite line played. She loved it because it reminded her of her Heero.

"And this whole pack of Viagra ain't working everyone is a Slim Shady lurking they could be working at Burger King spittin' on your onion rings ..."

"What! 'The Real Slim Shady' is Relena's favorite song?" Katelyn shouted. "And how are they dancing to that, eh? Freak dancing?"

"It was supposed to be 'Shape of my Heart,' and the favoite line was supposed to be 'You can save me from the man that I've become'," Bryn said.

Katelyn sighed. "How come this only happens to us and not the people who actually write this kind of crap?"

"Because you're special," Heero said to Katelyn and Bryn.

"Why THANK YOU Hee-chan!" chirped Bryn happily.

Heero looked sick. "Wait a moment ..."

"That's it!" Katelyn erupted. "This bucket of a computer is going to Good Will first thing in the morning!"

"You know what? I’ve got a good idea." Bryn cracked her fingers and continued to type.

Just then the most beautiful girl Heero and ever seen entered the room. She was tall and blonde, with blue eyes,

"You’re discribing yourself!"

Bryn smiled. "Case, point."

Katelyn’s face lit up. "My GOD she’s BRILLIANT!"

and Heero was already madly in love with her.

"Oh my GOD not a Mary-Sue too!" Relena shouted angrily. "Heero! Stop drooling! You are under the Fanfic-Authoress’ powers! Sanp out of it!"

Heero was still drooling. The girl came up to him. "I’m Ivory Quill, but you can call me Bryn."

"Mwhahahahahahaha!" The authoresses laughed.

"Hello, Bryn, would you care to dance?" Heero asked. "Sure," said Bryn, and Relena stood there, red in the face and very mad at Heero.

"Stupid authors!" she yelled at Katelyn and Bryn. "You made me lose my Heero!"

"Well, you weren’t being very cooperative," Bryn snapped.

"And we could have put him with Duo," Katelyn remarked off-handedly.

"Oh. Good point." Relena sat down at a table while Heero and Bryn kissed in the background. "This was by far the suckiest fic I have ever been in."

"Thank you!" Katelyn and Bryn chimed proudly as they saved the file on the computer and went off to eat some junk food.