God hurts those He loves...

Last Touched: October 28, 2023

8 years later I am temporarily back on my bullshit, I guess? This place is a graveyard but I need a place to bury some bones. I've got a few new scenes & stories I'll post as I manage to get them written, and at some point I'd like to make sure the Inception fics get added since I think they're only available on LJ right now. If I stick around longterm I'll attempt to tidy up my side of things, but for now it's kinda frozen in time. Most fics here are from 2002-2008; jamais vu and killing strangers are from 2015

    Welcome to my fics! 99% of everything I write is Weiß Kreuz. There have been just a couple exceptions over the years-- two tiny Advent Children fics and a couple forays into the ArthurxEames side of Inception. The AC fics are at the bottom of the Drabbles page for now, and I'm working on carving out a small spot for the Inception stories.

    Fics are not in alphabetical order-- I've arranged them newest (or most recently updated) to oldest. Temptation to wipe out the bottom few is pretty overwhelming, but I've decided to leave them up for posterity.



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Drabbles and Advent Children stories are here

collar
   [2023] A simple scene in the In Memory of the Future timeline, taking place almost directly after the Eines Tages short story

jamais vu
   In 1998, the tower fell. Eight men fell into the sea, and none walked away. In 2015, Aya-chan realizes her real role in that ceremony. Written for Indelicateink.

Killing Strangers
   Rosenkreuz refuses to pair Crawford & Schuldig together in the field. There are consequences. CrawfordxSchuldig. Written for Indelicateink.

Paralyzer    
Pre-WK Timeline. Schuldig is at the top of his game, leader of a high-ranked Infiltration team, until Rosenkreuz decides his talents are better used elsewhere and puts him up at Auction. Schuldig is not pleased to be losing his rank, but Schwarz has come knocking and Crawford refuses to take no for an answer. CrawfordxSchuldig. Rating: NC-17. Alternate Timeline
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20 . 21 . 22 - END

The Illusion of Privacy
   Entry for the 2010 Weiss Day Fic Exchange, written for Fireun. Crawford & Schuldig have one last test to pass before they can graduate Rosenkreuz, but old rivals aren't going to make it easy for them. PG-13.

Hold
   Ficlet written for the Russian fandom shipping wars, CrawfordxSchuldig vs KudouxRan. A bittersweet reunion between Crawford and Schuldig. Pre-Kapitel. PG-13.

ALLES SCHWARZ     
   A multi-book arc following the lives of Rosenkreuz's strongest group of Talents from its creation through the end of the Gluhen series. In chronological order: Alles Schwarz, Eyes on Me, I'm With You, and Das ewige Dasein. Side Story Pieces of a Dream predates AS and continues through I'm With You. Arc Complete.

Eines Tages
    Eines Tages is a collection of 29 ficlets written as part of a meme for LJ friends. They range from PG to NC-17, with occasional AU and AT. There is one non-con ficlet in part 1. It is marked so you can avoid it easily. The ficlets are not related to each other, so you can skip them as you like and read them out of order. Multiple pairings.
1 ....

Reloaded
   The full version of the CrawfordxKen ficlet written for leveldevil in "Dark Chocolate". Crawford contracts Ken for Schwarz. Post-Gluhen. PG-13.

Zanzou
   A twisted sort-of rewrite of "The Better Cat"-- Schwarz is sent to retrieve Estet's missing memoripath. Written for Zanzou-chan on LJ. PG-13.

Parry
   Parry was an experiment between Amiko and myself. We started with the same pairing and same five prompts, but were to write our drabbles separate from each other. The point was to see how alike our minds thought. Her version of the drabbles is here. PG-13.

All You Wanted
   It's been a year since Weiß let Ran walk away. Now he's back in town, and he and Yohji have to figure out what they really want. Written for Baka Gaijin. PG-13.

Degenerate
   Just a short scene between Ran, Schuldig, and Crawford. Glühen timeline. Knowledge of the Glühen series not particularly necessary. Written for Cocos. PG-13.

Drache
   With Schwarz in little pieces, Schuldig is left to his own devices and finds entertainment where he can. A new city, a new job, a new home- and then everything changes when Fujimiya Aya walks through his door. SchuldigxAya-chan. Discontinued.
0 . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 ...

Interlude
   Pre-WK Timeline. CrawfordxSchuldig preparing for Takatori. Written for Daegaer as part of Weiss Day 08.

Rebate
   Schwarz hires a telekinetic for a month. There are issues. NagixFarfarello. Discontinued.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 ...

Sacrilege // Blasphemy
Post-Gluhen Timeline. Sacrilege is Farfarello x Ran. Blasphemy is Crawford x Farfarello x Ran. Written for Delfeus. Ran & Farfarello talk faith.

Dark Chocolate
   Result of a VDay 08 meme on Livejournal. 13 different pairings, slice of life / relationship ficlets. SxK, CxN, FxS, MamoruxN, OxS, AxO, AxC, CxK, FxK, CxS, SxY, YxC, FxN.

Erode
Post-Gluhen Timeline. CrawfordxSchuldigxMamoru. Written for Zanzou-chan

Sympathy for the Devil
   Crawford is the man who knows everything, who controls everything. But when he makes a deal with Lucifer himself, it's a battle of wills he never expected. Fallen children, demons, and the devil to boot, and the stakes are higher than ever. Dedicated to Deena. Discontinued.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 ...

SYN: When You Gonna Learn?
   When Schuldich learns of his youngest teammate's involvement with Kudou Yohji of Weiss, he's not sure how to react. In the process of making life hell for the two he manages to get himself in over his head as well, and things are bound to get worse before they get better. SxYxN, background CxF. NC-17. Dedicated to Muggins.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16

I m p r e s s
   Farfarello has just been assigned to Schwarz and it's Schuldig's job to take him on a test run. Schuldig isn't happy about being saddled with Rosenkreuz's pseudo urban legend. Farfarello isn't interested in making it easy for him. Written for Shaded Mazoku as part of the Weiss Day Fic Exchange on LJ. Pre-Kapitel.

SNAFU: The World According to Schuldig
   Crazy is as crazy does. Crawford's sort of insanity is contagious. Once it catches hold, how is anyone supposed to know where reality really lies? Dedicated to Delfeus. AT & AU, ish.
Note: SNAFU = Situation Normal: All Fucked Up
Intro . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20 . 21 . 22 . 23 . 24

The Weekend Meme
   12 pairings. One weekend. Pairings chosen for the fic by 12 lovely LJ people and they will go in the order they were requested. It was my job to get from one to the other in the course of the weekend, Friday night to Sunday night. PG-13.
1 . 2 . 3

sich nach jemandem verzehren
   A collection of 16 ficlets written in response to a meme. There were three themes and any pairing between the 8 of Schwarz and Weiss, but those who answered the meme didn't know which theme or pairing they were picking. Part 1 has the first nine. Part 2 will have the last seven. Thanks to Soleil Kitty for the title and to everyone who participated in the meme!
1 . 2

Gossamer
   All it takes is a lingering touch, a lingering glance. Some things can't be shared. Schwarz has already lost a lot, but there's a lot more left to lose. FxC/CxF. Character Death.
0 . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8

Dirty Little Secret     
   Obligation wars with desire. The path that must be taken is not always the one the heart wishes to follow. Weiss-centric. (Surprisingly enough.) Sakura+Ran, RanxYohji.

White Bird
   After the collapse of Schreient, Yohji goes back to the collapsed building where Nagi and Tot lay. Only things aren't how he expected to find them, because Tot is missing and Nagi is still alive. Against his common sense, Yohji picks Nagi up and brings him home. A little story about life and choices and all that other stuff.

P.O.D. --- Payment on Delivery
   Ken's been having a horrible day. Yohji attempts to do something nice for him to make him feel better by ordering a mail-order lover for a week, but when the lover turns out to be a man by the name of Schuldich, the week is going to get a little out of hand. Dedicated to Sidara. R, borderline NC-17.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 1314 . 15 . 16 . 17

The Reason
   Just a story about two men who find more than they expected to in each other, and what becomes of such a thing. SchuldigxKen. Dedicated to Aion-chan. Some deaths.
Prologue . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . Epilogue

Schism
   Omi has fallen to a point where he can't save himself. If his team cannot help him, then who can? Salvation comes from the unlikeliest of places, but the secrets they keep could be enough to undo everything again... Warning: This story contains self-harm triggers and a little bit of death.
0 . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . Epilogue

In Memory of the Future
   What do you do if someone demands something you cannot afford to give? A game of control and pride has a dangerous price... FxC, OCxCrawford. Dedicated to Kat Masters/Evil Kat.
0 . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8

GEFALLENE ENGEL
   The first fic I ever wrote for Weiss Kreuz was the first in the Gefallene Engel arc. The arc has been rewritten, taken from four fics and swirled into one complicated mess. This is the link to the new Gefallene Engel and the arc it sprang from.
   A nightmare from Schwarz's past has come back to haunt them, and Weiss is caught up in the middle of the life and death games. Schwarz was almost destroyed the last time they went head to head with Schatten; how can they possibly survive this time?

Vaterunser
   One is born into a world of nightmares. The other is his only chance for salvation and sanity. But when hatred keeps them apart, can either of them be saved? FarfarelloxSchuldig. Dedicated to Sidara. R
Intro . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20 . 21

My Happy Ending
   He's given the chance to believe in something he stopped believing in a long time ago. But is he brave enough to take the chance or will he leave again? YohjixSchuldig.

Gunning Down Romance
   When one has lost everything, how does he find the strength to carry on? A story of loss, love, and life in the aftermath of tragedy. SchuldigxRan, with background death.
Prologue . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20 . 21 . 22 . 23 . 24 . 25 . 26 . 27 . 28 . 29 . 30 . 31 . 32

Sing for the Moment
   If you live to 70, you'll have over 2 billion moments. As an assassin, you're lucky if you make it to 30. What will you do with your moments? Will you take advantage of them or will you watch them slip away? CrawfordxYohji. Written for Amiko. NC-17
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10

Alice
   Through the looking glass and into the fire. Ken wakes up to find out his life could have been different, cleaner. Only how clean is it, and will it be worth the past he knows to live in this future? SchuldigxKen, Summary provided by Faraway4today. AU
Introduction . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . Conclusion

Cry Me a River
   Farfarello's games tear everyone apart, and a confrontation between Schuldich and Yohji goes horribly wrong. Will they be able to recover? YohjixSchuldig, Non-con.

Dolphins Cry
   Yohji will not just have his lover's body: he must have his heart as well. But will Aya return the love, or will Yohji lose him? YohjixAya, songfic.

Coffee and Biscuits
   Internal bickering is tearing Weiß apart. Ken and Omi are unable to control Yohji and Aya's fighting and begin leaving the shop to seek haven elsewhere. Omi's haven is threatened by the presence of a Schwarz, but his view on the American might need some rethinking. CrawfordxOmi, dedicated to Ami-chan. Side story to Chocolate and Cream Puffs.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5

Chained to You
   Schuldich's mouth gets him in trouble with Yohji. Can either of them last the punishment of one week of separation? SchuldigxYohji

Hunter
   One man is tormented by the life he has fallen into. He longs for freedom even as he knows there is no escape. Songfic.

Peace's Struggle
   Sequel to Temporary Peace. Battle with self over and memory returned, Aya now must deal with Weiß. A stunning betrayal on the inside leaves the group hanging in the balance, and Weiß falls apart at the seems as Aya hangs between where he belongs and where he is needed. The fight for peace has begun. AyaxCraford, SchuldigxFarfarello, hints of NagixOmi. R.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14

Once in a Lifetime
   Two men, too much alike yet inverses of each other, meet in a final confrontation. One has the power to change everything he is and will become. Will he take this only chance to get what his heart longs for? SchuldigxYohji songfic for Carmen. Non-consensual acts.

Temporary Peace
   A mission gone wrong takes an even sharper turn towards the surreal when it lands Crawford and an amnesiac Aya together. Kept for entertainment, Ran begins to get a new perspective on Schwarz- especially Crawford. CrawfordxAya, SchuldigxFarfarello. Dedicated to Keeper of Chaos, who gave me the storyline over chat one day.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12

Chocolate and Cream Puffs
   Bickering between Yohji and Aya tear the group apart, forcing Ken and Omi to flee the shop in search of peace. Ken is surprised to see his haven invaded by a member of Schwarz. His refusal to back down and give the place up to Nagi takes a turn neither expected. KenxNagi, YohjixAya, background CxO and SxF. Written for Olivia, who put the KenxNagi request on wkff.
1 . 2 . 3

The Better Cat
   Rewritten as Zanzou. Omi was abducted by Schwarz and torture-interrogated for a gift he did not know he had. Passed off as hopeless and left for dead, Omi managed to survive and fled Japan for seven months. Now a changed Omi is back, and he is ready to play a game with Schuldich. This time, however, they'll play by his rules.
Prologue . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . Epilogue

Rain
   Aya and Ken dance in circles, in love with each other but unable to admit it or see it reciprocated in the other. As the courage rises to finally reach out and offer themselves, a mission is handed to Weiß. Can they overcome their fears to find love in each other's arms, or will they be torn apart by the cruel hands of fate? Dedicated to Carmen. Some death involved.