'Twas the week before Christmas break at Youkai high school,
The time when school functions normally mingled with yule,
And among the New Enforcers, our heroes both mighty and just,
A party was being prepared, an absolute holiday must.
Tsukune, the captain, ever concerned for their rep,
Thought of a way to add a bit of crucial ethical pep.
So he gathered his minions, some friends, some less so,
To the stage behind their offices, sitting on a layer of snow.

Ranma, Kouma, and Chopper stood at the sides of the small gathering in the knee-deep snow while Moka, Kurumu, Kana, and Yukari stood almost huddled next them, having difficulty keeping warm in their uniform skirts. Mizore, who didn't have any such problem, sat in front looking bored, while Keito and Tobaki stood near the back, with the former hugging the latter for warmth as everyone gave their captain their full attention.

"My friends, this year has come and gone so fast,
Sometimes it's been dangerous, but always a blast,
But before we get to our party, festivities, and feast,
I'll tell all of you about the true meaning of Christmas, at least."
"Isn't it about presents? It's about the gifts, right?"
"No, it's all about romance, a special lovers' night!"

Tsukune shook his head at Yukari and Kurumu's guesses.

"Those things are nice, and it'd be boring without,
But there's something that has even greater clout!"

Tsukune coughed into his fist before continuing.

"To the Christians among us - I know Kouma's from Hell
Christmas has an origin that's easy to tell:
The birth of their savior, the Lord Jesus he's called,
For the rest of us to whom this meaning has stalled,
The celebrations are about peace, generosity and love,
Forgiveness and caring also could use a small shove."

Tobaki and Chopper looked surprised.

"You mean it's not about money? Our revenues and cash?"
"It's not about having fun or how many parties I crash?"

Yukari suddenly raised her hand, looking perturbed.

"Getting back to the Christian thing you brought up,
The timing of birth, though translations may be corrupt,
Doesn't match the winter equinox but rather-"
"Knock it off runt, in the end does it matter?"

Ranma gave Yukari an affectionate rub on her head before hopping onto the stage.

"All right, you all got your sappy holiday speech,
Now it's time to get working, so let's get to the beach!
We have to get cooking, we have food beyond mention,
So before we depart, does anyone have a question?"

Keito raised her hand.
"Where and when, exactly, is the party going to officially start?"

Ranma frowned before he replied.

"At Kraken's Bluff, on account of the view.
As for the time, is five PM fine with you?"

"Yeah, okay, I got it," Keito said.

Ranma's frown deepened.

"You don't have to care about this plan of mine,
But would kill you to at least TRY to rhyme?"

"Oh, shut up," the spider woman snapped testily.

Meanwhile, in lair dark and safe from eyes,
A gloomy fellowship plotted the demise
Of the new committee, those justice-loving hacks
And so with metaphorical dagger aimed at their backs,
The old Enforcers met to debate and discuss
How the new authorities they might concuss.

Kuyo stood at the head of a table decorated with skull-shaped candle holders curiously painted in festive green and red colors. Jin, Volos, and Haruo sat around the other sides of the table, looking grim.

"Gentlemen, underlings, and savage freaks,
Today demands that our council wreaks
Untold havoc amongst the Enforcers new,
And at last bring to heel Aono's crew!
To that end, my scheming ran,
And along with Keito I hatched a plan!"

Volos brightened.

"Finally, we'll get to break apart those puny nerds!"
"But wouldn't we have more success using nice words?"
"This whole idea is trouble, I want no part in it."
"If you're going to speak keep one mind in charge, you idjit."

Haruo turned from his admonishment of Volos and nodded to Kuyo. The yoko continued.

"Indeed, this is a plan to rival Jin's greatest schemes,
It starts with some perfectly mean-spirited themes,
Aono is planning a feast and party, the fool,
Based on his reverence of this period of yule!
I have the timing of the critical assault all worked out,
If we faced them head-on, our attack would turn to a rout,
So we'll sneak up to their supplies when they're not even there,
Steal their food, shred their favors and retreat before they're aware!
We'll ruin their party!
We'll crush their morale!
We'll steal the candy away from that gloomy ice gal!
And then, when they're sobbing and bemoaning their fate,
We'll be feasting on their labors, secure past our gate!"

Jin considered the plan carefully, rubbing his chin as Haruo nodded.

"This plan will take timing, swiftness, and stealth."
"I personally like how it won't impact my health."
"With Keito's information, it's sure to go right,"
"As long as Volos' angry head doesn't start up a fight."

Kuyo grinned and slammed his palms onto the table.

"Then we're all in agreement! It's time to get going!
When we're done with them, their offices will be glowing
With the light of my fires, burning their holiday spirits to ash!"
"All right, but Tobaki won't like wasting all that cash."

Kuyo, Jin, and Haruo all glanced at Volos.

"I'm just saying, that since Keito's her friend,
She wouldn't sabotage Tobaki and pretend
That she had nothing to do with it and was never at fault,
So I just thought I should point out that we're draining their vault."

Kuyo considered this briefly before shrugging.

"To be honest, against the temptation of free hot dogs and cake,
That's a risk I'm perfectly willing to take."

The stage was thus set, the villains moved in,
Though the chances of victory were alarmingly slim,
And so the group of clumsy and incompetent brutes
Stumbled into a dark room and quietly took off their boots.

Needing a light to pierce the cold and dark gloom,
Kuyo lit a flame over his palm to light up the room.
And it was to his shock and utter dismay,
That Kouma stood before him, ready to "play".

Though that wasn't all, Chopper held up the flank,
While Kana and Yukari backed up the group's tank.
Moka was useless, that much the crooks knew,
But with her was Mizore, and above them Kurumu.

But with only those students, though it was certainly bad,
Without seeing the rearguard Kuyo would have been glad.
Ranma and Tsukune stood near the back
With Keito in front of them, and she smiled a crack.

Kuyo staggered forward, caught between horror and fury.

"You treacherous worm! You vile bug-bitch!
You sold us out! You're even worse than a witch!"
"Putting aside your annoying - and racist - tirade,
Did you never even consider that you had been played?"

Yukari chuckled at her own question as Keito snorted.

"It's nothing personal, Kuyo. But did you really think that I could endanger my position AND break little Tobaki's heart?"

Kuyo said nothing, staring expressionlessly at Keito.

"What?" The spider woman asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kuyo just crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her disapprovingly as everyone else, including the people on her team, started to do the same.

Keito growled as she massaged her head, and then took a deep breath.

"All right, fine, if you idiots insist
And your whining will not desist,
Then I will play your stupid game
Until your choler is finally tame.
Kuyo, I have in the end conspired
To bring this end Aono desired
Not to convict you and your men
But to seek their pardon first, and then
Hand in hand with your former foes,
To the beach our story goes,
And there we will join in merriment
Rather than lock your feet inside cement.
Join us, Kuyo, and with this moral shift,
You'll live a lot longer, if you catch my drift."

Keito stewed silently as everyone started clapping, and Moka and Yukari approached.

"There, you did it! Was that so hard?"
"A speech worthy of a mid-level bard!"

Keito didn't appreciate the praise, and turned away as she ground her teeth.

"I swear to my god, unless I should fall,
One day I'm going to kill you all."

It was later confirmed, via Fran Madaraki's X-ray,
That Lord Kuyo's heart grew three sizes that day.
And after dealing with Keito's reluctance to rhyme,
Kuyo realized that maybe, perchance it was time
To put aside his bitterness and relinquish his grudge.
Though on his hatred of humans, he just would not budge.

"I see Aono that you've cornered me well,
But rather than retreat from this place and dwell
On the treachery of Keito, or the weakness of Jin,
Perhaps it's time I put aside the matter of sin.
Yes, since the occasion and the timing is right,
And since Saotome uses tornadoes to fight,
I'll join this party, and my underlings too,
To make merry festivities with all of you!"

And so it was, that monster and man
Put aside their various violent plans
And dined together, and laughed and played,
At least for a while, but their joy decayed
With every time that Volos switched minds
And Kuyo's boasting of various kinds.
Jin and Haruo, though more cautious yet,
Were still damn unpleasant, so agreement was met
To throw out the losers, and Ranma wasted no time,
Though Keito was allowed to stay so long as she'd rhyme.

So in the end, this story offers to you,
The reader, a holiday lesson true:
Be kind, forgive, and act merrily,
And if you can't, then most importantly,
Don't be a jerk, and don't give people reason
To avoid your presence this holiday season.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!