[Ranma][Fic][lemon][ISO Friendship, Maybe More]

Feedback may be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com  This is my first fic so be sure to be extra merciless to help break me of any bad habits cramping my style.

STANDARD DISCLAIMER:  This is a work of fanfic.  All characters are the creation and property of the great Rumiko Takahashi-sama and various other entities, none of whom happen to be me.  I'm just borrowing them without permission.  You could try and sue, but I'll just claim it was some other Kaleb.  This story contains lemon material which is illegal to read if you're under the age of 18 (if anyone asks I... um... originally wrote it with a blindfold on).

PRETENTIOUS PRATTLE (also known as additional author notes):  This is a heavily revised version of "Drunken Insight", which I undertook to revise because I'm putting together a website, which I undertook because fanfiction.net cleansed itself of all "dirty" stories, which is at least a good thing in as far as it provided the whole impetus for what I should have done long ago, but probably would have been to lazy too bother without some prodding.  Anyway, IMNSHO, I  consider this version a vast improvement, especially over the original (shudder), and would recommended it even to those who've read a previous incarnation, and, if you really wish to indulge me, send some feedback.

ISO Friendship, Maybe More

By:  Kaleb

          Ukyo let out a sigh as she took down her sign, bringing the business day to an official close.  It wasn't the number of customers that was disappointing; (business had actually been picking up) but the lack of one particular customer.  All during the evening rush she'd been keeping an eye out for the little red head, but he hadn't shown up, even after she'd invited him over for some okonomiyaki on the house. 

          It'd been too long since she'd really seen him, what with that craziness over in China.  Unlike some people, she had a business to take care of, and couldn't be taking off on extended leave whenever she felt like it.  And just when Ranma got back, Soun and that miserable excuse for a father tried to force their children together using Nanniichuan as a bribe.  True, she'd seen Ranma at the 'wedding', but that didn't really count; he'd quickly been KO'd from all the explosives being flung about.

          [Ugh, should've sent Konatsu out to do this] thought Ukyo as she defiantly struggled against the howling wind to get back to her restaurant, one hand clutching her sign and the other raising her giant spatula to ward off the driving rain.  A sudden flash of lightening lit up the dark street, causing Ukyo to catch a glimpse of something small lying in the nearby gutter.  Hesitating only long enough to let out a sigh, Ukyo trudged over to investigate.  Thunder rolled overhead as Ukyo's eyes widened in surprise at the sight of a familiar and unmoving feline.  "What's that stupid gaijin bimbo doing here?  It'd serve her right if I left her out here..." but Ukyo found herself wedging the cat in between her body and the sign carrying arm.  Bringing her face up close to check for injuries, Ukyo was assailed by the unmistakable stench of alcohol.         

          "God, you stink Shampoo!  How much did you have to drink?"  Ukyo's annoyance quickly changed to worry, then alarm, as she noted Shampoo's unnaturally clammy skin and lack of breath.  Just as Ukyo concluded that Shampoo was dead, the cat took in a shallow, ragged, breath of air.  "Jackass!  Don't scare me like that!" yelled Ukyo as she dashed toward her restaurant with the comatose cat.  She was thankful to see Konatsu holding the door as he waited for her. 

          "Is something wrong Ukyo-sama?" asked Konatsu as he noticed her breakneck speed and worried expression. 

          "This stupid gaijin bimbo gave herself alcohol poisoning I think," explained Ukyo as she tossed her sign and spatula aside while waving an intoxicated cat at a puzzled Konatsu.  The cat responded by puking on Ukyo.  "Shampoo you jackass!  I'm trying to help you here!" yelled Ukyo as she set the cat on a nearby table and started drying her off with napkins.  Konatsu was now very confused, until he remembered that Nerima had some weird people in it, some of whom were aquamorphs.  Using his ninja skills, Konatsu pulled a boiling teakettle out of nowhere and poured it on the cat, causing him to pass out from sudden blood loss. 

          Unfortunately for Ukyo, when Shampoo transformed she found her hand in an embarrassing spot (no, not there, that would be a _very_ embarrassing spot).  Before she could remove her hand, Shampoo instinctually grabbed it and gasped "Ah...Airen!"  Ukyo blushed, then blushed furiously as she noticed the recovering Konatsu staring wide eyed at her and the now moaning amazon, who was doing interesting things with Ukyo's captured hand. "This isn't what it looks like!" yelled Ukyo as she franticly waved her free hand in denial, not that it did any good; Konatsu had fallen unconscious from blood loss again.

          "Ohh...Airen...AIYAHH!  You no Airen!  What pervert gi.. spatula girl doing to me!" screamed a now conscious Shampoo. 

          "Hey!  You're the one was holding my hand there!  All I was trying to do was save your drunk ass!  What the hell were you doing getting so wasted?!"   

          "Lying spatula girl!  Shampoo no drink that much!  Spatula girl knock out Shampoo to do perverted things.  Die!"  With that, Shampoo lunged at Ukyo.  Shampoo was faster and stronger than Ukyo, plus Ukyo wasn't trained in hand to hand combat, none of which made up for the fact that Shampoo was rather drunk.  Ukyo didn't even need to sidestep.  A moment later the naked amazon lay in an undignified heap amongst the remains of a table.  Recovering quickly, she attempted to pull her trusty bonbori out of nowhere, but apparently she'd lost nowhere along with her clothes, or perhaps she was to drunk to access nowhere, either way, the only thing she accomplished was making Ukyo snicker.

          Ukyo's snicker died in her throat as Shampoo started growling and the restaurant filled with a menacing battle aura.  "Uh oh," said the now sweating Ukyo.  While she wasn't too worried about herself (she could dodge Shampoo's drunken attacks all night), the thought of how much property damage a raging drunk amazon could do was appalling.  The restaurant had just made it back into the black after that incident where she'd foolishly let Akane, Ranchan, and Konatsu try and run the place. 

          Before Shampoo could launch another attack, her vision was obscured by something being pulled over her head.  "KUNICHOI ULTIMATE NOSEBLEED DEFENSE TECHNIQUE:  SHIRT SWAP!"  yelled a close eyed Konatsu as he quickly dressed Shampoo in his ninja top.  "Gomen, Shan Pu-san," apologized a now topless Konatsu as he surveyed his handiwork.  He quickly looked away, a new trickle of blood running from his nose.  His technique didn't quite live up to it's "ultimatness".  While he probably wouldn't pass out again, the ninja top was not a good fit.  Compared to the little ninja, Shampoo had a lot more mass in certain areas, resulting in a skintight fit that wasn't quite long enough for Konatsu's comfort. 

          "Please don't hurt Ukyo-sama," pleaded Konatsu.  "She really did bring you in as an unconscious cat.  I think when your body shrunk the alcohol became more concentrated, thus causing you to have a lethal amount in your bloodstream," explained Konatsu as he interposed himself between the glowing Shampoo and Ukyo. 

          There was a tense pause, then Shampoo's battle aura deflated.  Ukyo let out her breath  in a sigh of relief, then launched into an angry  tirade, "Thanks Shampoo.  I go and save your life and all you can do is call me a pervert and try and kill me!"  

          "Shampoo sorry Ukyo," mumbled a mollified amazon. 

          "Huh?" that was the last thing Ukyo expected to hear from her rival. 

          "Say Shampoo sorry.  Ukyo save life.  Shampoo try take Ukyo's.  That no right."  Shampoo's eyes began to tear up and she collapsed onto her knees.

          "Uh, hey, look...its not that big a deal Shampoo...just a little misunderstanding...I'd be pretty mad too if I woke up with some one, uh, you know... Hey, Shampoo, you hungry?  I'll cook us up some okonomiyaki."  

          Konatsu, convinced that Shampoo was no longer going to try and kill Ukyo-sama, decided to go take a cold shower and retire for the evening before he became anemic. 

          As Ukyo fired up the grill, Shampoo hesitantly took a seat by it and looked awkwardly at her lap.  Finally she blurted out, "Why Ukyo be so nice?!  Shampoo no ever nice to Ukyo, Shampoo always mean.  Shampoo no deserve nice!"

          "Yeah, you've been an ungrateful bitch, but whether you deserve it or not, I feel a little sorry for you.  You want to talk about what got you so upset that you nearly killed yourself?"

          "Thanks Ukyo," mumbled Shampoo.  "Thanks for saving Shampoo, and nice to Shampoo.  First thing love of Ranma was nice when Shampoo no deserve," at this, Shampoo eyes went into dreamy nostalgia mode, but the look was quickly replaced by one of regret. "Shampoo sorry so mean to Ukyo before, *sigh* Shampoo...sorry for lots now."  Slumping down on her stool, Shampoo rested her chin on the counter, and reached out for her glass, except she wasn't in the bar any more, so all her grasping hand found was the now fired up grill.  The amazon let loose her trademark AIYAH! and many other unprintable Chinese expletives (translation: the author is to lazy to go look any up).

          "Heh, thought only Ryogua was dumb enough to do that.  Here's an icepack sugar," said Ukyo as she opened up the freezer and threw said icepack to the amazon.  Shampoo tried to catch it, but somehow the icepack slipped past her hand and knocked her upside the head.  Amid a shower of ice Shampoo toppled off her stool and crashed to the floor.  "Oops, sorry Shampoo.  Forgot your coordination's shot to hell right now." 

          "You do that on purpose."  Ukyo couldn't help but giggle as she looked down at Shampoo's pouting face and ill dressed form sprawled across the floor.  Soon Shampoo joined the chef in her fit of giggles.  As the two girls laughter died down, Shampoo accepted Ukyo's outstretched hand and unsteadily got back on her stool.   

          Ukyo placed a second icepack in Shampoo's hand and then returned her attention to the grill.  Shampoo watched the chef work her magic in amazement.  She worked so quickly, but not at the expense of quality noted Shampoo as the batter come down in two perfectly even circles.  The look of absolute focus on Ukyo's face was as captivating as the artistic precision of her handiwork upon the grill.  A flick of her spatula sent the okonomiyaki up in the air, then with a dramatic flourish and triumphant smile she applied the final strokes of sauce.  Shampoo gasped, fearing that Ukyo's masterpiece would be ruined on impact, but at the last moment the chef nonchalantly slid a plate down the counter.  It skidded to a halt just in time to catch the still sizzling okonomayaki in front of Shampoo.  She couldn't help but applaud the performance and smile at the graceful genki kanji Ukyo had drawn in the middle.  "Wow!  Ukyo love making yaki stuff, neh?" 

          "It's not just some noodle, it's o-ko-no-mi-ya-ki."

          "Whatever."

          "But yeah, I guess I really do get into it," said Ukyo as she wiped off a bead of sweat and flicked back a stray hair.  Shampoo's lids lowered, surprised that such a little movement could make Ukyo seem to sparkle so.  "Whenever I start cooking, it's like the rest of the world and all my worries disappear.  I'm carefree, like when I was a little kid.  Okonomiyaki's always been a part of my life.  Every morning I'd wake up to that comforting heat from the grill and be greeted by the scent of father's cooking.  Even before I could walk, I was learning how to cook." 

          "My earliest memory is of sitting on my dads lap and making these baby sized okonomiyaki with a set of miniature spatulas I'd got for my birthday.  They were the only present I'd got that day because my mom's medical expenses had put us in debt, but I felt like the luckiest kid in the world.  When I'd finished cooking, Mom insisted on getting up to see over Dad's objections that she should stay in bed.  She told me the pictures in the sauce were really cute and that she was so proud of me, that when I grew up she was sure I'd be a great chef or artist.  She asked if she could please have one and I remember being so proud when she said it was the best okonomayaki she'd ever tasted.  I asked her why she was crying and she said it was because she was happy, so happy that she'd got to have a wonderful child like me... Hey!  Whatcha lookin at!"  Ukyo nostalgia suddenly broke as she became aware of Shampoo gazing at her with chin resting in the palm of her hands.

          "N-nothing!  said a suddenly self conscious Shampoo, "Ukyo...voice just was much entrancing."  Ukyo gave Shampoo a queer look, so the blushing amazon quickly added, "Just surprising, Ukyo voice usually real annoying and whiny, like blah blah Jackass!  blah blah Ranma mine blah blah stupid gaijin bimbo blah blah blah.   Must be pretty memory make voice sound nice."  

          "At least I don't sound like some stupid little spoiled brat who can't even use pronouns correctly," huffed Ukyo.

          "...um, Shampoo always wonder, where Ukyo's parents now?  Unusual live lone."

          "...Mom didn't want to ruin my birthday.  S-she held out until I'd went to bed..."  An awkward silence descended as this new piece of Ukyo made Shampoo feel the bittersweetness of her precious memory. To her surprise, she found her eyes tearing up for someone else.  It was a strange sensation, somehow very different from crying for herself.  She couldn't remember ever feeling this way for someone, even Ranma.  Shampoo wanted to say something, but by the time she'd dried her eyes and looked up Ukyo's back was turned and it seemed too awkward. 

          "I grew up pretty fast.  I've always been independent.  Dad  had built up a steady clientele down in Kyoto when I finally tracked down Ranma and his old man.  We didn't want him to lose another business to them, so I headed to Nerima alone.  I'd already learned everything I could from Dad anyway and we both felt I could take care of myself.  Now that my business is turning a respectable profit too, it just hasn't made sense for either of us to move in with the other."

          "But... don't Ukyo get lonely?"

          "Well, yeah, sometimes it gets a little lonely, but... hey!  Why the hell are we talking about me anyway?!  Our okonomiyaki is going to get cold if we keep yapping.  Let's eat!"

          Shampoo hesitantly raised her chopsticks to her mouth and then slowly chewed the unfamiliar food.  "Is...is much good!" declared a surprised Shampoo after she swallowed the first bite.  "Ukyo good cook...better than Shampoo." 

          Ukyo stared at Shampoo in shock, chopsticks frozen in mid descent.  The amazon didn't notice, as the first bite of food had awoken her hunger and she was now devouring her food ravenously, sans chopsticks.  All to quickly her food was gone and Shampoo noticed Ukyo staring at her now sauce stained face.  Smiling evilly, the amazon's good hand lashed out toward Ukyo. 

          [Stupid!  Never should have let my guard down around her.] thought Ukyo as her eyes flinched shut and she braced for the blow, which never came.  Her eyes opened to the sight of Shampoo finishing off the remains of her okonomiyaki.

          "You should seen face Ukyo," giggled Shampoo as she pointed at the flustered Chef.           

          "Why you little sneak, that was mine!" shouted Ukyo as she dove over the counter and tackled the still giggling amazon.  The two knocked chairs and tables over as they rolled across the restaurant floor.  Ukyo was surprised at how strong Shampoo was.  True, she'd fought Shampoo a couple times, but it had always been with weapons, never hand to hand.  Soon Ukyo found herself pinned underneath the panting amazon warrior, their faces an inch apart.  "You're one to talk pig, you should get a look at your face."

          "All covered in food, yes?" said Shampoo with a mischievous glint in her eye.  "Ukyo want food, eat food off Sham.... ack!" Shampoo gasped as Ukyo drove her knee into her rival's gut. 

          "Um, no thanks, I'm not really that hungry anyway, could you um, get off me?" said a nervous Ukyo.  Ukyo's nervousness changed to desperation as she saw Shampoo's face get a sick expression on it.  "Oh fuck! Shampoo don't you dar....... ....."

          "Um, at least Ukyo get yucky… er… yaki stuff back?"

          Ukyo's glowering eye began to twitch.  "Get...Off...Now." 

          "Sorry," whispered Shampoo as she meekly complied.  Ukyo felt her anger melt as Shampoo once again started to tear up.  She was surprised that she wasn't getting any satisfaction at seeing her usually so cool and controlled rival break down. 

          "It's okay sugar, its not like you did it on purpose," said Ukyo as she took off her stinking shirt and headed over to the sink. 

          As she was washing it out Shampoo asked, "Ukyo have any sake?"

          "Not for you, you're wasted enough as it is sugar.  Besides, it won't make whatever's hurting you go away; just make you lose sight of it for a little while.  What kind of amazon are you anyway; running away to a bottle like some weak man instead of facing your problem?"

          Ukyo could feel Shampoo's battle aura start to flare up behind her, then just as quickly die down.  "Ukyo right, Shampoo coward, no want to see what in front of her whole time."

          "And that is..." prompted Ukyo over her shoulder as she finished washing off her face and shirt.  She had a feeling she knew why Shampoo was so upset, and a part of her was going to enjoy hearing the amazon admit it.  She felt a little guilty, but it was for the best that Shampoo finally got it through her thick head that...

          "R-ranma...no love Shampoo."

                                                                          *     *     *

          Earlier that day...

          "So, Shampoo, do you think your conduct at the wedding endeared you towards son-in-law?" asked Cologne in a deceptively casual tone as she entered the kitchen where Shampoo was washing dishes from the lunch customers. 

          Shampoo looked nervously at her grandmother and then turned back to the dishes.  "O-of course, me save him..."  Shampoo stopped as Cologne hopped up in front of her and looked her in the eye.  Looking down at the sink, Shampoo finished weakly, "...from marry v-violent girl." 

          "Now, now Shampoo, those meek Japs may not look each other in the eye, but we are Amazons, we do not act in such a deceptive and shameful manner."

          "Where Mouse been!  Clean dishes his stupid job!  Stupid lazy male!  Me go find and put in place!" shouted Shampoo as she tried to quickly leave.  She didn't get very far before she was tripped up by Cologne's staff. 

          "No need to do that.  I've been debriefing him about what happened over in China.  You two are the only Amazons who've seen the Phoenix mountain court and lived to tell about it in over a century.  Rather interesting, his version of a couple of events you both witnessed were much more detailed than yours.  I don't recall having asked you to skim over important details when I questioned you, or utterly fail to mention that Akane was even there.  If you aren't married to Ranma when we return to the village you'll be tried, you know.  We wouldn't want to add deceiving the matriarch to your list of offenses, now would we?"  Despite the still casual tone, Shampoo shuddered.

          [Please, no make me remember Jusendo] thought Shampoo as she looked pleadingly into her great grandmothers eyes.  Ancient implacable eyes glared coolly back at her.  While Shampoo was afraid of what her matriarch could do to her for concealing certain events, those events themselves were much more terrifying.  She had been trying to forget them, and when that failed she told herself that they didn't mean anything.  But now, seeing her fearful face reflected in those penetrating eyes, Shampoo could no longer deny the horrible truth that those events represented.

          Ranma, losing all will to live after he thought Akane had died saving him.  His tenderness when he thought he had failed to revive her.  Shampoo couldn't remember what exactly he'd said, not that it mattered considering his aptitude with words.  But the emotion and intent behind them had been clear, he was trying to tell Akane how much he loved her.

          "NOOOOO!! NO!  NO!  NO!  NO!  It no true!  Damn it!  It no true!" shouted Shampoo desperately. 

          "Shampoo, cease this shameful display.  It is especially unbecoming for one of my blood and who was my heir," admonished Cologne.

          Shampoo looked at her grandmother with horror, "G-grandmother... you no serious...!"

          "I certainly am child.  While you have the skills and craftiness, a matriarch can not allow emotions to cloud her objectivity.  Someone who will not face up to reality can not be entrusted to make decisions for the tribe.  I lost face in front of the elders when you failed to kill Ranma, and will lose face again if you fail to return with him, particularly considering the false claims you've been making in our publications.  My status in the tribe is fairly secure, but I'm sure you can see that it would be wise to distance myself from your failures."

          The implications of what Cologne was saying caused Shampoo to collapse from dread.  Her own grandmother wasn't going to stick by her once they returned.  Last time she'd gotten off easy because of Cologne's intervention.  There were many who'd grumbled about the special treatment she'd received and would love a chance to make up for the last punishments leniency.  Certainly she'd be stripped of her property and status at the very least.  As if losing the one person she had ever loved wasn't enough, now she was going to lose everything else that had given her life meaning.  Clutching the hem of her elders dress, Shampoo whispered, "Please, Grandmother, no do this to Shampoo... you know Shampoo have many enemies back home."

          "I know Shampoo, you can bet they will be cruel to you if the council strips you of your status.  It will be a hard time for you," said Cologne gently.  "Though it may seem unbearable, you must be strong and never forget of whose bloodline you are.  As long as your alive there is hope; I have not selected a replacement heir, if you redeem yourself in the eyes of the tribe, you could rebuild your status."

          Her Elder's sympathy felt like salt in Shampoo's wound.  Outright rejection would be easier to endure than this useless pity.  Shampoo's eyes went from soft to hard as a suspicion entered her mind.  "How long you know?"

          "Ever since my duel with Neko-Ranma.  It was fairly obvious from his behavior towards Akane when his inhibitions were removed by the cat fist.  Why do you think I gave him the Phoenix pill?  I probably could have defeated even his cat fist technique, [of course, there was a  chance I might have lost, and considering his lack of moral inhibitions and dislike of me at the time, that might have been fatal]  but when I realized how Ranma truly felt I decided that forcing him into marriage would be a bad idea.  He would bear us too much resentment.  So I tried some subtler approaches and left winning him over mostly in your hands, especially after the incident with the reversal jewel revealed that the feelings between them were mutual.  Even I am not powerful enough to overcome true love." 

          "You...know...all this time, and no tell?!  Make Shampoo waste time in stupid Japan chasing illusion?!" sputtered an angry Shampoo.  Then she did something she never would have done if she'd been thinking clearly instead of an emotional wreck.  She attacked Cologne.  With the predictable result of her flying out of the kitchen .42 seconds later. 

          "Shampoo!" cried a concerned Mousse as he rushed over to his beloved's side.  Upon seeing that she was sobbing he realized that now was his chance!  He would comfort her and let her cry on his shoulder, after which she would realize both that he'd always be there for her and her true feelings for him!

          Shampoo stiffened as she suddenly found her face being forced into Mousse's shoulder, who for his part, was experiencing to much bliss from holding her to note the signs that should've warned him to get the hell away from her as quickly as possible.  Such as the low growl in the back of her throat.  The cracking of her knuckles.  The tensing of her entire body.  Or even the battle aura which filled up the restaurant and made his sleeves catch on fire.  "Oh, I can feel the flame of your passion Sham..." Mouse never got any farther as Shampoo started slamming him back and forth like a rag doll and then dropped kicked him all the way into next week. 

          Cologne entered the dining room just in time to see Shampoo run out through the nearest exit, that being the one she made for herself in the wall.  *sigh* "I thought I'd finally taught her to use doors.  Oh well, I guess I'll overlook it this one time.  Poor thing, tempering can be so painful, but it's for the best."  Cologne had noted for awhile that Shampoo harbored a very unamazonion romanticism.  She could hardly have asked for a more perfect man than Ranma for shattering it.  Shampoo would learn to deal with losing and that things wouldn't always go her way, valuable lessons which she'd never experienced back in the village.  Of course, there was still the problem of how to serve the evening rush without two of her workers. 

          "Moshi!  Moshi!" said a relived voice on the other end of the line.

          "Don't think I can't see through you!  You always let someone else pick up the phone, you lazy baka.  Well, this stir fry I cooked for us isn't going anywhere!" this voice, in contrast, was quite irritated.

          "Greetings son-in-law, I've a favor to ask of you and Akane."

          "A favor?" replied a wary Ranma. 

          "Yes, Shampoo and Mouse have... suddenly become unavailable.  I was wondering if you two could temporarily fill in."

          "Sure," said Ranma quickly, as if he was grabbing onto a lifeline, "I'll be at the Cat Café right away."  KLONK!  Cologne flinched sympathetically from the sounds of a wok colliding with the back of a skull and the sizzle of hot oil on flesh.  "Stupid uncute tomboy, ya said the stir fry wasn't going anywhe..." Cologne could well imagine Akane's look of betrayal and rage that had made her foolish fiance fall silent. 

          "H-how could you!  After I worked so hard to make us a nice meal,  y-you go run off to that hussy's restaurant!"

          "W-wait Akane, it's not like that, ya see...um, wait, I guess it's sorta like that, cept for the "nice" part... um, what I mean is..." unfortunately for Ranma, his brain was short circuiting as it always did around crying females. 

          "I DON'T CARE WHAT ITS LIKE!  YOU CAN GO HAVE YOUR DATE OR WHATEVER WITH SHAMPOO FOR ALL I CARE.  AT LEAST SHE CAN COOK, RIGHT?!"  This was accompanied by the sound of someone being drop kicked through the roof.           

          Cologne hung up the phone with one hand and caught Ranma right before he hit the floor with the other.  "Well, that was quick son-in-law.  Your old uniform from when you used to wait tables is in back.  Go change."  Before Ranma could protest, Cologne added, "and I'll let Akane know what's going on and whip you both up something to eat before the evening rush hits."

          Ranma opened his mouth to say that he'd straighten that stupid tomboy out himself, but then realized that Akane would never listen to him and that he'd just make things worse.  "Agarito gazaimus," said Ranma sincerely as he bowed to the elder, and then with a mischief smirk added, "old ghoul." 

          "Who you calling old ghoul, son-in-law?!" said Cologne with mock annoyance as she took a swing at him with her staff.  Ranma easily dodged with a backwards flip toward the kitchen. 

          "Ha!  Looks like your age is finally catching up to you granny.  That was so slow, I could have dodged it in my..." *SPLASH* *CRASH*  Ranma looked up in time to gulp as a mop handle thrust like lightning to within a millimeter of her throat.

          "As long as your knocking over soap buckets you might as well clean the floor.  Now go finish changing son-in-law."  Cologne chuckled as Ranma grabbed the mop and stormed into the kitchen.  He was an impertinent young fool, but that's what Cologne liked about him.  It had been so refreshing to find someone who wasn't tactful around her and wouldn't be intimidated.  She was going to miss him.  Even if he wouldn't acknowledge it, he'd always be family to her.  Hopefully he cared enough for them that he'd at least help Shampoo fulfill the spirit of the law if not the letter.     

                                                                          *     *     *

          "R-ranma no love Shampoo." 

          "What took you so long?" said Ukyo derisively, forgetting tact in her moment of triumph.  Then she noticed Shampoo's silent tears and mentally slapped herself.  [Ukyo, you jerk.  How would you feel if you found out Ranchan didn't love you?]  Shuddering at the emptiness the thought brought, she quickly shoved it away.  [Shampoo needs someone to console her, not rub her face in it.]   

          Shampoo took a good look at Ukyo and then threw back her head in a bitter laugh that made Ukyo's skin crawl.  "You think Ranma Ukyo's now, hehheh, you no get.  Ranma no love Shampoo, Ranma no love Ukyo, cause Ranma always violent girl loved."

          Ukyo let loose her own nervous laughter and folded her arms over her bandaged chest.  "You've gotta be kiddin sugar.  You ever watched those two?  They're always arguing and hitting each other.  The only reason they're together is because of some promise Ranchan's lousy father made, as if those are worth anything.  Ranchan's old man only wants to mooch off the Tendo's and get the training hall.  That way his son can support him and he won't ever have to get off his fat ass and do any real work.  Eventually the Tendo's will wise up and kick that worthless free loader out and end that farce engagement.  Then Ranchan will be all _mine_ ! Mwhahahaha!"

          "Shampoo seem remember Ukyo and me get mad at Ranma and hit too.  Not as much as violent girl; but she spend more time with Ranma, so get much annoyed by him more.  Of course, me only see times when we both with Ranma.  Shampoo much yell and hit Ranma when you no around."

          Ukyo had to admit, Shampoo had a point.  There _were_ numerous times she'd got annoyed with Ranma and smacked him when Shampoo wasn't around to witness it.  She really couldn't claim any high ground over Akane there.

          "Ukyo was no at Jusendo.  No see what Shampoo saw.  Akane give life for save Ranma.   Ranma think Akane dead, give up living.  Then kill god for her.  Try tell how much love when think fail to save.  Shampoo no want admit, but no longer can deny.  Ranma love Akane,  Akane love Ranma."

          Shampoo's grave tone was beyond reproof, leaving Ukyo unable to deny her darkest fear.  She tried to tell herself it was some deception of Shampoo's, but the amazon wouldn't lie about something that meant Ranma didn't love her.  The haunted sincerity in Shampoo's apologetic gaze was the final nail in the coffin.  "No," whispered Ukyo with desperation, feeling the emptiness she had buried earlier resurface with a vengeance.  

          "Shampoo sorry Ukyo, wish not true, but is.  Know how feel, dreams all shatter, leave big empty hurt much place."             

          Ukyo's throat grew tight and a dull pain started in her chest.  [No, I'm not going to cry over that jerk again] thought Ukyo.  But then a gentle hand touched her shoulders and Shampoo whispered, "Ukyo no have to hold in, is okay for cry."  Before she knew it she was sobbing into Shampoo's shoulder as the amazon enfolded her in a solacing embrace.  As Ukyo let loose her tears Shampoo stroked Ukyo's hair (undoing her ponytail in the process) and murmured "it okay," over and over. 

          Comforting Ukyo felt surprisingly good.  Shampoo remembered how horrible it had been when realization struck and there had been no one there for her (well okay, there was Mousse, but he didn't count), except the nearest bar.  Ukyo wouldn't have to face this pain alone.  And it felt nice being close to someone with out them trying to break free like Ranma always did.  In fact, this was the first time Shampoo could recall someone actually letting her hug them.  After a few minutes, Ukyo regained her composure and Shampoo reluctantly let her go. 

          "T-thanks Shampoo," said a puffy eyed Ukyo, "I'm sorry about going all to pieces like that."

          "No problem," said Shampoo, brushing it aside.  Then her tone become a conspiratorial whisper as she asked, "Ukyo get out sake now?"

          "Heh.  Sure, why the hell not." 

          Ukyo was feeling a bit better, now that she and Shampoo had passed the bottle back and forth a couple times.  She was finally ready to start talking about that jerk.  "Ya got it lucky sugar, you'll get over Ranma easy.  You were just in love with him cause that stupid law of yours." 

          Shampoo snorted and turned up her nose.  "Ukyo ish stupid one, not law.  Law make much sensh." 

          "Oh sure, Shampoo, if you're beat by a girl, kill her, but if it's a man, marry him.  That's so primitive."

          "Ukyo no dishrespect Amazon law!  Ukyo think me and ways shooo stupid, but Ukyo ish one make ignorant talk!" yelled Shampoo as she slammed her fist on the counter, causing it to crack.  "Yoush ever ish wonder why 'primtiv' Amajhons shurvive in fertile land when shurrounded by you nashty bad 'shivi…*hic*…shivilizeds'?"

          "Uh, not really," said Ukyo, who was vowing to _never_ let Shampoo near alcohol again.  Her only hope was to finish off the bottle before the amazon realized it wasn't coming back her way.     

          "All twibes have land you 'shivilizeds' want ish masshacred… Hey!  Ish ma turn!"  growled Shampoo as she snatched the bottle from Ukyo and downed a long draught in quick successive gulps.  "Thersh, now we ish… *hic* …even," declared the tipsy amazon as she slammed the bottle back down and wiped her lips dry. 

          "Even?!  There's nothing left!" observed Ukyo in dismay. 

          "Oops," giggled the amazon, "but Shampoo know howsh ta fix dat.  Shee cubord o'er der?" asked Shampoo as she spun Ukyo around by her hips and pointed to where the chef had earlier retrieved the now empty bottle.  "Shampoo betcha there anudder boddle wif our names on."  Seeing that Ukyo was hesitating, Shampoo decided to get her moving with a sharp slap to the rear.  "Move yo ass bawench!"

          Grimacing as she quickly moved away from the madly giggling amazon, Ukyo vowed that after this evening, she would never, _ever_, let Shampoo near alcohol again.  But it looked like it was too late to put this genie back in the bottle tonight.  Shampoo would probably just help herself to more sake if Ukyo didn't retrieve it anyway.  At least if they were sharing a bottle, she'd have more control over how much the amazon drank.  And setting Shampoo aside, she wanted more to drink as she wasn't yet feeling very drunk.  [Still], thought Ukyo, as she bent over to get a new bottle, making Shampoo whistle appreciatingly and then giggle at the dark scowl Ukyo shot back at her, [it's time to draw a couple of lines here].

          Taking a swig from the bottle as she swaggered back to the counter, Ukyo lowered her lids and purred at Shampoo, "You wantin some of this sugar?" 

          The amazon gulped, starring at the chef who was casually holding the bottle in one hand, her cocked hip in the other.  Turning  away slightly, Shampoo began to mumble, "W-whush Ukyo…"

          [Hmph.  Like I thought] smirked Ukyo as she stopped Shampoo's fumbling speech with a light touch to her cheek.  "Hmm.  I think you _do_ want some of this, don't ya sugar?" suggested Ukyo as she slipped her hand back and pulled down on Shampoo's hair, forcing the amazon's eyes and mouth back into close proximity with the proffered bottle and softly speaking lips of the chef. 

          "H-hai…" Blushing, Shampoo closed her eyes, not quite certain what to expect.  Certainly not what happened next; which was Ukyo, after a suitably dramatic pause, slamming her face into the counter.

          "Okay, Shampoo.  There's a couple things we're going to set straight here.  1)  If you call me a 'bar wench' again, I'll personally rip your tongue out and serve it to you on okonomiyaki.  2)  You're not to touch my ass again unless you want me to flay yours raw red with my spatulas, and 3)  This is the last bottle we're drinking tonight.  To make it last, we're going to drink it slooowly.  I'm not having you throw up in my restaurant again."  Yanking roughly on Shampoo's hair, she forced the amazon to look back up at her.  "Do I make myself clear?"      

          "Y-yesh ma'am," said a surprised and somewhat sobered Shampoo, signaling her submission with a show of throat.  Finding the display of slender neck strangely alluring, Ukyo took up the offer.  The sound Shampoo made at the first touch of the chef's teeth was almost as delectable as the rush Ukyo felt from having the amazon at her complete mercy; just a bit deeper she could feel the jugular pulsing away.  Holding the bite for a moment, Ukyo's tongue savored the taste of power seasoned by Shampoo's little whimpers.  But as she focused on that delicious sound, Ukyo detected a disturbingly sensual tang.  Deciding she'd gone far enough in demonstrating her dominance within her domain, Ukyo let go of the amazon's  neck, hair, and the nagging doubt that perhaps Shampoo had ended up the one in control.                   

          "Ukyo ish strong," murmured Shampoo with admiration as she ran her fingers over the indentations left in her neck.  "No been chashtised like that sinch mama dishiplin little Shampoo.  *heh*  If Ranma and amazons had much backbone ash Ukyo, Shampoo pwobably no be sutch spoiled brat.  Sorta feel good have shomeone shet limits."

          "Well, someone's gotta civilize the barbarian princessh," smirked Ukyo as she leaned back smugly on her stool, or at least she looked smug until she remembered, to late, that her stools didn't have any backing. 

          "Ukyo no git too cocky," taunted Shampoo as she stuck out her tongue at the fallen chef, "Shampoo hash no yet chashtised you for inshult twibal law.  Now, where I was?  Oh yah…"  Taking a sip from the bottle, Shampoo continued her argument, accenting her points with profuse gesticulations.

          "All twibes have land you nashty bad 'shivilizeds' want ish masshacred, cept us," Shampoo proclaimed proudly, "cuz wize anshestors know we's needing be strong and defend land from gweeshy ones who gwowsh with no limits."

          "Hey!  I happen to be civilized, and I’m neither greasy nor grosh!" protested Ukyo as she mounted her stool once again.

          "Uh, Shampoo didn't… jush a shec."  Placing her left hand on her temple and her right hand on her abdomen, Shampoo then applied pressure.  Ukyo gasped as the amazon doubled over and clutched her head in pain.  "*gasp* No worry, ish just killer headache, they say always happen with shobriety shiatsu, and uh… *gulp*"

          Ukyo still wasn't sure Shampoo was really okay.  The pain must have been spreading, because now her thighs were clenched together, and the panicked look on her face suggested this was turning into an emergency.  What if that idiot had hit the wrong points?  Sounded like this was her first time trying this technique, not to mention shiatsu should never be attempted while under the influence anyway!  "And um…" tried Shampoo again desperately, "where… bathroom?!"      

          After recovering from her facefault, Ukyo quickly pointed to the back of the restaurant, which Shampoo took off for in a flash.  "Why that little… she could at leasht warn me before using a technique that looks like she's dying!" muttered Ukyo, who was surprised to find herself already missing the amazon. 

          Telling herself it was just because that crazy idiot's antics had helped her forget to feel sorry for herself over Ranma, Ukyo nursed at the bottle.  She toyed with the idea of downing it before Shampoo got back, but surely the amazon would cry foul.  Besides, after seeing what being drunk did to Shampoo, Ukyo wasn't sure she wanted to go there.  Just as the loneliness of having only her melancholy thoughts for company was making Ukyo reconsider her moderation, Shampoo emerged from the restroom, looking much more relieved than when she'd dashed in.     

          Taking the sake from the chef as she sat back down, Shampoo resumed her pedantic lecture.  "Ukyo know survival of fittest?  Amazon law weed out weaker females.  Bring in new, stronger blood,  keep from stagnating.  Bring new ideas and fighting styles.  Mating with foreigners keep us from being decimate by Rome brought Plague of 161, unlike American Indians.  Laws do other useful things too, but if no for them Amazons no would have been strong enough to defeat all who try destroy us in past and all who try in future.  So how law stupid Ukyo?" asked Shampoo as she leaned over the counter and got right into Ukyo's face.

          Blink, blink.  "Uh, since when did you know so much Shampoo?"

          "What Ukyo think, Shampoo stupid jush cause no speak like you?"  Ukyo flinched at Shampoo's on target accusation.  "Hhmph.  You not only one.  Overhear "stupid gaijing bimbo" all time.  Like see how well Ukyo speak Chinese after only there little while.  Shampoo ish... h-heir to matriarch, no can be stupid for that.  Shampoo know lots of things.  Since Ranma no ever good Airen, most evenings spend reading"

          "Well, I guesh I can't call you a _stupid_  gaijing bimbo anymore," smirked Ukyo. 

          "Oh, so Shampoo still ish bimbo?" asked Shampoo in a warning tone, which Ukyo chose to ignore. 

          "Come on Shampoo, don't try and deny it.  The way you dresh has 'slut' written all over, right now being a perfect case in point," accused Ukyo as she eyed Shampoo's current attire, which due to its small size only partially covered the amazon's bush of purple hair and pressed against her breasts in a rather lurid manner. 

          Blushing as Ukyo eyed her exposure with reproof, Shampoo tried to pull the ninja top further down, wincing as the coarse material  rubbed against the major impediments to such a task.  Becoming even more flushed as Ukyo began snickering, Shampoo tried flattening out said impediments with one hand while tugging on the hem with the other, finally resulting in some semblance of modesty.  But the means of that modesty contained the seeds of its wanton end.  Panting from her harried efforts, one hand still on her flattened chest, Shampoo's embarrassment reached it's peak as that hand began to feel the effect of all its efforts, and Ukyo burst out in raucous laughter as the amazons hemline ended up higher than it'd began.  "See?!  HAHAHA!  Couldn’t be modest even if ya tried, couldja bimbo!  NYAHAHAHA!"

          "Shut up!  Ish not Shampoo fault Ukyo waitress flat-chested wisp!"

          "True, I suppose I shouldn't hold it against ya that your hipsh and waisht are so much bigger than my slender Konatsu's…"

          "UKYO TRY IMPLY SOMETHING?!" shouted Shampoo as she slammed both palms on the counter and stood up, towering threateningly over the cheeky chef.     

          Unperturbed, Ukyo continued, "But that doesn't change the fact you are shooo a bimbo.  Let's not forget the times ya go flashing your naked body around.   And then there's all those times ya don't even bother wearing any bras, panties, or even pants, so everyone can see you bouncin around.  Ya might as well have "Slutty Bimbo" tattooed on ya forehead."

          "Not all Shampoo fault!  Stupid pervert boys or pervert old man always ish stealing panties before Shampoo turn back from cat and get back!  Always ish running out."

         "Hmm, ever tried not wearing such tempting lingerie?  Ya know, the shoft, shiny, shexy, or should I say, 'bimboy' type?"

          "Hmmphh," sniffed Shampoo as she turned up her nose at the very thought of it.  "Shampoo like silk feel.  Asshets deserve worthy containers," stated Shampoo arrogantly as she arched her back and leisurely stretched her arms over her head.  It was with some satisfaction that she noted Ukyo staring.  "Amazons no "bimbos."  Jush different culture, different dresh standard, smart one like comfy and practical.  Which flat chest wispy waishtress girl top no is," snarled Shampoo with distaste as she ripped Konatsu's ninja top down the middle, turning it into a jacket and allowing her breasts to thankfully become free of the confining prison they'd been squashed into. 

          As Shampoo's breasts came to a stop Ukyo suddenly realized she'd be staring and quickly looked away blushing.  "Since when where yours that big?" Ukyo muttered enviously, then blushed deeper as she realized Shampoo had heard her. 

          "Ranma and Akane no only ones 'maturing'," smirked Shampoo as she took another leisurely stretch, sighing at how pleasant it felt now that she wasn't so constrained.

          "Wouldja stop that!  I thought ya were shupposed to be convincing me ya _weren't_ some bimbo slut.  Just rub my face in it why dontcha?!"

          "Okay!," shouted Shampoo with enthusiastic playfulness.  Ukyo suddenly founded her self embraced over the counter into Shampoo's ample cleavage.  "As long as Ukyo think Shampoo bimbo slut, should at leasht have fun act like one, neh?" 

          "Mmmphhhmmm,  mmmphhhmm, MPHM!" protested an indignant Ukyo, stopping as she realized that having her mouth open was making this awkward situation much worse as Shampoo made good on the chef's suggestion.  Ukyo attempted futilely to break free; for she stood no chance against the perfected art of Amazon glomping.  Once Shampoo felt it would be clear to Ukyo that it was only by her grace did she ease up and allow Ukyo to breathlessly break free, eyeing the red faced and panting chef with a sultry smirk.

          "Shampoo you...you... Jackass!" sputtered Ukyo, "What the hell do ya think your doing!"

          "Was Ukyo suggesh...," pointed out Shampoo before the top of her head became aquatinted with Ukyo's spatula.

          "HENTAI!" shouted Ukyo at a dazed Shampoo who was seeing stars on the floor. 

          "Hmpphh.  Ukyo one talk, what with inhaling Shampoo breasht like that..." retorted Shampoo with a little smile as she dusted herself off and got back on her feet

          And immediately was knocked back down as Ukyo snarled, "Shut up!  That was an acchident!" 

          "Hai, hai.  Shampoo shorry," said Shampoo to the floor she was imbedded in.  "Ukyo put away spatula now?"

          Ukyo's only response was a grunt, but as Shampoo peeked up she saw Ukyo slip the spatula under the counter.  Now that the coast was clear, Shampoo climbed unsteadily back onto her stool, the alcohol and ringing in her head making it a difficult task. 

          An awkward silence followed, in which the only sound to be heard was the girls taking swigs from the bottle.  Shampoo finally broke it, by saying quietly, "Shampoo no fall for Ranma cause of law anyway, law no applied." 

          Ukyo kept drinking, but then what Shampoo said registered and sake spluttered everywhere, "W-WHAT?!"

          "Ranma no defeat me.  Shampoo no attacking him, he no attacking Shampoo; jush try disarm.  Shampoo no even expecting people fight back; jush trying to apply preshure so Akane tell where female Ranma ish; used threatening show of force that leave flat footed, not type of strike use in real fight.  Plus Ranma attack from blind spot too.   Ish not like law make Amazon marry someone who knock out from behind.  And Shampoo only stunned moment; take lot to knock out Shampoo.  That kish of marriage would no stand up in court of Council.  If they knew, be dishpleased with Shampoo;  no knew then that Ranma great fighter."

          "I can't believe thish," Ukyo said darkly.  "All thish time you... Why would ya twist your law to try and entrap someone ya hardly knew at the time?  Actually… thish isn't the only time you've played fast and loose with your "vaunted" Amazon traditions, is it?  I seem to remember you giving Mrs. Hinako the kish of death back when we teamed up to deal with her.  Whatever happened to that, shugah?"

          Shampoo blushed and looked awkwardly at her lap, "Heh, ish not first time either.  Back before Ukyo here, Shampoo kish pervert girl.  Shampoo no really meant it, jush wanted to scare off so she stop getting in way.  Ranma then tell Shampoo he really girl for protect Akane, even though it meant that Shampoo mush then kill.  Airen always so selfless when matter mosht.  *sigh*"

          "Cept ya didn't kill Ranchan either; seems ya inconshistency with your law ish 100% conshistent.  You'll jush bring it out when it serves ya, and ignore it when it's an inconvience; sounds like ya got a good future as a politician in ya twibe.  Except…  ya could play fasht and loose with dat other stuff cause no one in ya tribe saw it, but that wasn't the case with Ranma.  Sho why didn't ya kill her?  I mean, what was holding ya to her?  You'd jush met thish guy who ya didn't know anything about and then he turns out to be the girl you've been hunting all across China and Japan.  That should have killed your groundlesh infatuation right dere."

          "Not infatuation!" shouted a suddenly angry Shampoo.

          "Oh come on Shampoo, you'd been there for jush a couple days.  Ish not like you'd been his child hood friend or anything.  Ya didn't know him at all, sho what elsh could it be?"

          "Shampoo did love Ranma," insisted the amazon with a slow, soft ferocity.  "Ukyo realize that _everything_ in Shampoo life; all culture and teachings and upbringings shay must kill Ranma?  And Shampoo know if no kill, lose fayshe before twibe and punished by elders?!  UKYO THINK SHAMPOO IGNORE UPBRINGING, LOSE STATUS AND RESPECT IN TRIBE, AND GET CURSHED FOR SOMETHING AS DUMB AS INFATUATION?!!"  Shampoo's tone grew louder and louder as she leaned in closer and closer to a sweating Ukyo, who was beginning to realize how badly she'd underestimated the amazon.  She'd always considered Shampoo real shallow, never imagining her capable of such depth and sincerity of feeling.  Unsure how to start  making amends for her offense given to the amazon, Ukyo was relieved when all on her own Shampoo slumped back onto her stool and finished as quietly as she'd began, "Shampoo may no have known him well, but knew her."  

          "W-wait, Shampoo… are you shaying... that... um..." stammered Ukyo.

          "Shampoo need spell out for Ukyo?" sneered Shampoo.  "Fell love with Ranma before ever meet boy type."

          "..... . . . I-I'd always wondered about that.  You'd make pashes and glomp Ranma even if he was a girl and there were other people watching."

          "Ukyo sound jealoush," teased Shampoo. 

          "WHAT!  Why'd I be… j-jealoush!" 

          "Cuz Shampoo able expresh affections, no have stupid inhibitions," Shampoo said seriously.  Then taking on a leer, she added, "Glomp girl Ranma better than boy, neh?  Get rub breashts together."

          "Unlike shum perverts… *hic* I wouldn't know," sniffed Ukyo as she tried to suppress a slight blush; there was some infectious quality to Shampoo's simple earnesty that invited improper imaginings.      

          "Heh, Ukyo should try shum time.  Make Ranma blush much, she _shooo_ cute then.  Hhhmm, Ukyo get much cute when blush too," observed Shampoo, making the observed's condition worsen and the observer to then break into a fit of giggles.  It was a bright and bubbly sound, lacking in contempt.  Ukyo found it surprisingly infectious.  Soon she joined in laughing at herself.

          "Heh, yeah, she is real cute when she gits embarrashed.  I'll have to pay attention next time ya blush to see if it doesh anything for ya," suggested Ukyo, whom Shampoo rewarded with a  slight coloring of her cheeks.  [Huh, wouldja look at that; it doesh make her cuter].

          "Well," started Shampoo, her blush increasing, "Grandma once try cook P-chan fore I able to stop, sho Shampoo ish then sheeing naked Ryogua, and..." the amazon leaned in and whispered something to Ukyo, who's eyes got real big.

          "No way!  Ya gotta be exaggerating," said Ukyo in disbelief.

          "Ish true!  Shampoo what shee with own two eyes, no can forget thing like that!"

          "Tadaima!  Sorry I'm late Akari, got a little los..."  Ryogua looked around confused.  "Um, hello... Ukyo... Shampoo... what are you doing at Akari's farm... uh... is there something on my pants?" Ryogau asked as he looked down.  There was something about Ukyo's intense stare that was starting to make him nervous.  "Oh, wait.... this is a restaurant, isn't it... I didn't know you'd... um... opened...a new...branch...in the country...*eep*" Suddenly Ryogau became aware of the girl's current state of attire.  A couple of weeks ago he would have passed out, but Akari had been helping him build up his endurance.  Not that he didn't get a nose bleed, but that wasn't the main place blood was rushing.

          "...we'llbesuretotryitoutsometime,cya!"  Ryogua got out of there as fast as he could.  The look Ukyo was giving him now was downright scary.  Something was up here, and he didn't want to get sucked into Ukyo's dark plot, no matter how badly it looked like she wanted him in it.  Ukyo would just have to be content partnering up with Shampoo, cause he'd made up his mind that Akari was the one for him.  He just prayed to find her soon, otherwise this was going to be a raging pain all evening. 

          "Man," whistled Ukyo, "Akari sure is luuck-ey, neh?"  said the chef as she turned toward Shampoo, who was holding her beet red face in her hands.

          "Ukyo no need be so obvioush!"

          "HAHAHAHAHA!  Well, well.  I guesh Mrs. Bimbo Slut with No Stupid Inhibitions doesh have _shum_ modesty after all.  As if I could help checking it out after what ya shaid."  Ukyo had another swig of sake and then basked in her sense of evening up the score.  "Musht have been tough, loving someone ya had to kill."

          "Too true.  Only Shampoo could no admit at time.  Bury love deep down, pretend no there, but it deshperately want bursht free..."

          "Wait!  Don't tell me… I think I got it here!  Ya fell for Ranma sho quickly cuz your repressed love of girl Ranma subconsciously noted how shimilar boy Ranma was and transhferred your unacceptable love of the girl ya had to kill to the boy, using the… what's dat word… corollary!… using da corollary of the same law as an excuse!  Oh, ya ish so smart Ukyo!" congratulated the chef as she patted herself on the back for putting the pieces together on her own. 

          There was a lot more to the amazon than Ukyo had given her credit for, and she found herself genuinely wanting to know more about Shampoo.  In a way, it felt like making up for all the times she'd never bothered reaching out to Shampoo; just writing her off as a shallow man grabbing rival.  "But how did ya end up falling in love with a girl who ya had to kill?"

          Shampoo took a deep breath.  "Firsht, Ukyo need know what life like for Shampoo with Amajhons.  Back then Shampoo wuz...um..." 

          "A bitch?" suggested Ukyo, causing Shampoo to glare.  "Well, you were, werentcha?  I can just imagine it."  Ukyo's voice then took on an exaggerated sing song tone; "Back then Shampoo big bitch.  Shampoo sexiest and toughest amazon, not to mention arrogantest, and make shure other amazons no forget.  Shampoo rub faces in it and rough up those who forget Shampoo superior everyone else." 

          Shampoo grumbled, "How Ukyo know?"

          "Jush guessed you acted pretty much like ya do around here."

          After Shampoo recovered from her face fault she sniffled out, "S-shampoo really s-such a... bitch?"

          "Hell yeah!  Urk!"  Ukyo suddenly bit her tongue as Shampoo's sniffles increased and she began to tear up.  [Damn that girls so emotional tonight.  Quick Ukyo you jerk, say something fast or you're going to have made her cry.]

          "Hey, Shampoo.  Cheer up," said Ukyo as she tilted Shampoo's chin and looked into her watery eyes, "I think you've changed.  In fact, ya haven't really been that bitchy tonight.  Hell, I've been a lot more bitchy than you.  And ya know what, ya are the sexiest and toughest, jush work on not being the arrogantest." 

          "U-ukyo really mean that?" said a starry eyed Shampoo.

          "Hell yeah!" affirmed a smiling Ukyo.

          "Ukyo think Shampoo shexy!"

          "Urk!  Um...objectively, not per...!" but Ukyo's objections fell on death ears as an exuberant Shampoo jumped the counter and threw herself around the stunned chef, snuggling against her as she let out a blissful sigh of absolution.

          "Ukyo more or lesh right.  Shampoo mother was heir to matriarch; very beautiful and greatesht warrior.  But cruel Musk sholdiers torture her, put scars on and injure bad.  Legs no then work, so no can fight; lose status.  Mother determined Shampoo become what mother should have been.  Make Shampoo train hard all time."  Ukyo wasn't sure she was comfortable with the intimacy of this situation, but she couldn't just push Shampoo away while she was barring her soul.  She was speaking so slowly and softly; Ukyo felt that Shampoo needed the strength and safety she was getting from the snuggling to go on.     

       "Shampoo washte little time playing with other kids; Shampoo must train and be best.  If no besht, then become like mother.  Shampoo see; other amajhons either give condescending pity or pick on mother cuz low status.  But if besht, no one can hurt or condeshended.  So Shampoo will be besht in tribe.  But ish hard, g-get so lonely, and then... mother try teach bakentetsu..." Ukyo let out a gasp, unable to imagine someone inflicting that training on a child, "S-shampoo try so hard pleash mother... but hurt so much... no can find breaking point... to afraid... hurt to much for conshentrate...something wrong inside, things broken... mother keepsh yelling at me... don't wanna try again... she mad a-and hit me... pleash no make Shampoo do again..." suddenly Shampoo started sobbing and pleading desperately in unintelligible Chinese to a horrified Ukyo.

          "Shampoo," whispered Ukyo.  "Hey, Shampoo!  SHAMPOO!  Snap out of it!  You're safe now, no one's going to hurt ya!"  Ukyo shouted as she shook the hysterical amazon, whom managed to stop her frantic pleadings, but not her gasping sobs.  "Hey, ya hear me?  It's ok.  No one's gonna hurt ya," repeated Ukyo as she pulled Shampoo into a fierce  hug.  "No one's gonna hurt ya anymore."  The two just stayed like that for awhile: Ukyo holding Shampoo close and whispering "It's ok.  No one's gonna hurt ya anymore," over and over as she rocked the sobbing amazon back and forth.

          This was just like so many of her fantasies with Ranma.  "*sigh*  Ukyo sound sho manly, like knight who pwotect Shampoo." 

          "Kimi!  Bokuta shoujo!" protested Ukyo (in a statement that would lose all irony upon translation) as she quickly backed away from the amazon.  

          "Oh so?  Ukyo language no very convincing, nor ish dresh.  Think tape is comfy bra or something?"  mocked Shampoo as she poked Ukyo's bandaged chest. 

          "That's…um… jush force of habit!" [why _do_ I still dress like this?}  "Heh, it sure ain't for comfort," joked Ukyo "But ya know, they're 100% Happosai proof, and when it comes to shupport they can't be beat.  I'll still be pert and firm long after your topless days catch up to ya and your boobs stop ignoring gravity."

          "So?  Better ish beauty free and enjoyed than confined in cage where no can be appweciated.  Such shame to;" tsked Shampoo as she closely examined the chef's cleavage, "Ukyo got nice pair o knockers."   

          "... Ya know bout my past with Ranma?"

          "Got good idea, ashked Akane when at hot springs after Ukyo win race."

          "Oh yeah, dat's where we firsht met, wasn't it?"

          "Yeah, we really hit off."

          "Leasht until Ranma ditched us, then we actually made a pwetty good team for getting even… ……"

          "What Ukyo thinking?"

          "…… nothing… damn I'm getting drunk.  What wuz I trying to talk about?"

          "Shexual identity crisis that make you crossdreshing?" guessed Shampoo hopefully.

          "Dream on sugar, jush cuz I've spent two thirds of my life poshing as a guy duz not mean I got a shex…  ya know, that doesn't shound very convinching, doesh it?  Look, it's like this; when Ranma firsht rejected me, or so I thought at the time, I bashically locked away my femininity.  I got teashed about it a lot, all my clashmates said it was my fault for being such a tomboy.  That I washn't cute or pretty enough for any boy to ever want to marry.  It washn't like this was the firsht time I'd been teashed about it, but it was the firsht time it actually hurt.  I started to believe all the taunts that no man could ever love me.  Sho my life ash a woman ended and I swore I'd never hurt myself by falling in love with a man again."

          "Heh, even if Ukyo no love men, bet no have shortage of girls," teased Shampoo.

          "What?!  That's not what I…"

          "Don't tell me Ukyo *hic* no have girls after.  Ukyo like Ranma, real cute whether boy or girl."

          "Oh, well, yeah, that did happen shum," admitted Ukyo with embarrassment, quickly adding "But it's not like I encouraged em.  I'm not like that." 

          "Coarsh not, what with way you wetting wips over 'ouga's hunk a meat, Ukyo obviously have some apwreciation for men.  And after Ranma's rejection ish to inshecure for encourage anyone, even if want to, neh?"

          "Shampoo, I don't think ya understand what I'm a sayin…"

          "Come on, Ukyo never ever wonder what like be with Ranma girl shide?"

          "..."

          "Akane seemed shuspicious when she tell how much Ukyo enjoy playing with Ranma cursh.  Keep changing only boxer Ranma back forth.  Must been fun watching jugsh fill in over and over, neh?" said Shampoo as she nudged a blushing Ukyo.

          "...well... shometimes I'd think about our married future, and well..."

          "No need for bashful euphemishms now that we ish knowing eachother; Ukyo can say fantashize, or even m…"

          "Hey!  Whosh telling this, me or you?" asked a now deeply blushing Ukyo.  "As I was saying, shometimes I'd _think_ about our married future, and well… if he wanted to... um...well, ya know how some guysh really get turned on by the idea… or knowing his luck...if he got splashed while...um... well, it'd be my duty as his wife to satishfy him."

          "Oh, and Ukyo jush go along out of duty?  No enjoying it?"  asked a grinning Shampoo as she leaned in closer towards her now completely crimson prey.  Ukyo's heartbeat began to pick up as the amazon leaned in even closer.  It felt like she was being cornered by a hungry wolf.   

          Suddenly Ukyo rose to her feet, knocking a surprised Shampoo off hers.  "Well, if I have to anyway, I might ash well enjoy it!  Right?!  There's nothing wrong with that, ish there?!  Why shouldn't I enjoy it?!  So jush back off!" exploded a panting Ukyo.  

          "*tsk* *tsk* Shampoo think Ukyo protesht to to much," giggled Shampoo as she decided that getting back to her feet would be too much trouble.  So she just laid back on the floor with her hands behind her head and let out a sigh.  "No see what sho unhappy bout, Shampoo a little envioush, wish been as popular with girlsh."

          "… Ya really are a pervert instead of a playful platonic, arentcha?" 

          "Foolish Ukyo, what perverted ish all in head.  Not uncommon for Amazon girl firsht explore pleashure of body with friend.  Helpsh cement close friendshipsh and bind fighting forces together.  Like ancient Spartans.  They keep Phalanx strong and warrior moral up when away from wives by veteran mentor take twelve year boy as lover."

          "That's disgushting! And don't ya give me that cultural/moral relativity bullshit!  Shum things are jush shick and wrong!"

          "... Well, wrong or not, it worked;  Spartans toughest succesfullest warriors who kick much Athenian assh; Amajhon anshestors of Greece borrow shum traditions from.  And Amajhons purpose liberate woman, no need rely on man for pleashure.  Men jush for making babies.  There are lovelesh marriages for sake of tribe, but made bearable by tribe then tolerating the taking of female lover.  And eugenic law allowsh for strong man have ash many wives as can satishfy in one night and still up for work on time; but of coarsh work besht if man not only one doing satishfying, neh?" asked Shampoo as she sat back up and started sidling toward Ukyo, who for her part was nervously sidling away toward the edge of her seat.  Before she drove Ukyo completely off, Shampoo stopped her advances and looked out one of the rain streaked windows.  The amazon just stared out at the storm for awhile, then resumed speaking in a disconcertingly far off tone. 

          "When little Shampoo shocial skills no so good, heh, what I saying?  They still shuck.  No have much succesh making friends.  Come to reshent others, see as not worth time to be with.  But at leasht know I better than them; pride and status shustain Shampoo.  But after Mother die, shumtimes, on stormy night like this, lie awake wondering if pride really enough, if anyone  care if I die, or if they be relieved.  Then Shampoo get very very cold…"

          Unsure what to say to the now shivering amazon who was tightly hugging herself, Ukyo silently settled down next to Shampoo and draped her arm over the amazon's convulsing shoulders, soothing them.  It seemed the least she could do.  Just as wordlessly as it had been offered, Shampoo accepted Ukyo's comforting hand by placing her own over it and leaning back against the chef.  "Ish thish enuf?" asked Ukyo as she squeezed the amazon's hand reassuringly.  

          "For now," the amazon gratefully whispered.  "Shampoo think what make thoshe nights coldesht was knowing others have shumone for warming their bedsh.  That why envioush; at leasht Ukyo have _choice_ bout sleeping alone."

          "Hey, arentcha forgittin ol Mousse?  He's absolutely smitten with ya."

          "Geh, you try make Shampoo puke again?!  Moussh like annoying little brother who always try tag along, jush cuz once pity for being sho pathetic and save from bulliesh; biggesht mistake of life that was.  Moussh never be good enough for marry into Shampoo family.  …Told myshelf none of tribe good enough for Shampoo anyway.  And then she come."    

          "Firsht make fool of Shampoo in front of twibe.  Get very mad; she hurt statush; which all Shampoo have, sho try to kill in anger.  But anger wear off out of village.  Find no mish much.  Start to thrill of hunt enjoy, and learn respect for prey; she first peer give shuch challenge.  And even though try kill, she no ish hating me like tribe mates.  She even rishk life for Shampoo once."

          "Find her taking bath in river.  We then ish fighting and I push back into river to keep from escape.  Deep water make manuvering and kicks much lesh fective; make Shampoo swords that much more advantage.  Shoon water ish running red with blood.  I ish about to finish off, but have never killed before, sho heshitating jusht one moment, but one moment all Ranma need.  Deshperation musht give her great strength, knock me way out into middle of river, strike head on rock, nearly knock Shampoo out.   Current of rapidsh much strong and keep being dashed against rocksh; can't seem keep head out of water and water out of lungsh.  Think all is over, but then ish feeling small armsh wrap round waisht and pull above water.  Wonder why she doing thish, wonder where she get strength from; for Shampoo serioushly injure, yet she manage shomehow to safely bring ush to shore, though we both nearly drown several timesh."

          "Feel sho confused as she put mouth over mine and bring breath in and water out.  As she tear off Shampoo cold shoaked clothes think for  moment she going to forshe self on me.  From behind feel her naked body presh closely ginst mine.  Now ish having no trouble breathing and start get hot ash her adrenlated heat pash into clammy body, keep Shampoo from freeshing death.  But she no further goesh, shredsh of clothing for bandaging bleeding head.  Then start up fire, all while keeping Shampoo body next to hers.  Then I pash out. 

          "Wake up and ish all dried off and blanket covers.  Warm and comfy feeling enjoy, until realize _she_ ish lying right next Shampoo!  We both dreshed now, but she still holding me, still giving me warmth.  Start to get very warm myself, then angry.  Angry at Shampoo for be sho weak and her for make me sho weak.  Shove her off and try attack, but still no recovered fully from drowning.  Ranma eashily escapesh with only hurt look, but Shampoo even more hurt when shee that sad look in her eyes.  Runsh off.  Try call to her, but voice to weak and she no hear."          

          "Watch that night as she train in moonlight;  Sho beautiful and graceful.  Start feeling shumthin strange; no realize it then, but falling in love.  Tear Shampoo apart.  Want tell Ranma, but if no kill will lose statush; all that ever give life value.  End up trying even  harder for kill Ranma; hate how her mere existence make Shampoo sho uncertain and weak.  Maybe if confeshed then, she would have returned love to Shampoo... but it too too late.  Ukyo know why Ranma love Akane?  Deep down, she good pershon, jusht like Ranma.  Always stand by others, even enemiesh.  Not like Shampoo.  Ranma hate Shampoo cause deep down Shampoo horrible shelfish bitch!   Shampoo still mean.  Shampoo still petty.  Shampoo still cruel.  Shampoo still arrogant.  No one ever be friendsh with girl like that!!"  Shampoo's voice, which had steadily been rising in pitch, now reached a piercing crescendo of self loathing that made Ukyo wince.

          "Snap out of it!" shouted Ukyo as she slapped the amazon to the ground.  Shampoo looked up in mute surprise at a fire-eyed Ukyo.  "Stop wallowing in the pasht!  Whatch important ish that ya realize where you've a screwed up start making up fur it.  Which ya already are.  Your remorse ish your firsht step of atonement, now ya jush gotta keep movin.  If your unhappy with all those things, then change them.  If ya lonely, then make some friendsh.  And ya can start with me.  Whadda say we let bygones be bygones and be friendsh?" asked Ukyo as she extended her hand to Shampoo.

          Shampoo looked at Ukyo's offered hand and then stuttered in disbelief, "U-ukyo mean it, want be *hic* Shampoo friend?" 

          "Shure thing shugah."

          Shampoo hesitated only a moment longer and then enthusiastically grabbed Ukyo's hand in both of hers and nearly ripped  the limb out of its socket with her eager shaking.  "OKAY!  SHAMPOO UKYO FRIENDSH!"

          As Ukyo tried to pry Shampoo's hands from her poor little crushed one, Shampoo suddenly asked, "Um... Shampoo never really have friend before, what do?"

          "Firsht..." said Ukyo through gritted teeth, "You let go of my hand."

          "What?  Oh, sorry!" gasped Shampoo as finally noticed Ukyo clutching her now purple hand.  "Here, let Shampoo shee."

          "Nooo thanks, I think you've done enough damage already...*gasp*"  Ukyo felt Shampoo take her hand in hers and lightly rub it as she looked into Ukyo's eyes.

          "Please?!  Shampoo shorry, make better."  The desire to please in Shampoo's eyes was captivating, and Ukyo could only wordlessly nod as she kept staring into those hopeful eyes.  Shampoo maintained their eye contact as she slowly began to massage Ukyo's abused hand; lightly applying pressure here and there, restoring circulation and releasing endorphins that took away the pain.  "And kish to make better."  Ukyo shivered as Shampoo's lips brushed against her hand as lightly as a feather.

          Ukyo cleared her throat awkwardly as she stood up straight.  "Um... well, friendsh do stuff together, howshabout we go shoppin at the mall soon?  After all, ya need some new bras."

          "Ok, but only if Ukyo get shum too.  Hmm, what shize Ukyo anyway?"  Before Ukyo could reply she let out a scream of pain and protest as Shampoo ripped off the taping over her breasts.  'Tsk, tsk.  Really should go clasps, much lesh pain take off.  Hmm.  C cup right?" observed Shampoo as she cupped the chefs breasts.  "And about thirty- no wait, they ish getting bigger, about thirty-..."

          "WE CAN FIGURE THAT OUT WHEN WE GET THERE!  HANDSH OFF!"

          "Jeesh, only try help... Ukyo think... Akane maybe come?"

          "After all you've done?!" said Ukyo with a raised eyebrow.

          Shampoo looked down ashamed, "S-shampoo wush hoping... maybe A-akane could be friend too.  ...Akane haf warrior spirit, Shampoo admire that.  Keep alwaysh fighting for help others.  Big heart.  But so inshecure, think plain, no pretty, but ish quite pretty.  Shampoo wish hadn't helped make so inshecure in pasht..."

          "Well then, *hic* ya need tuh apologize tuh her, but it can't be half-ashed conshidering all the history between you two.  I know! I'll make up with Akane firsht over that whole weddin thing (I think that's why she's been givin me the cold shoulder lately) and then give ya an opening likewise.  Then ya can sweeten the whole thing by treatin us to ice cream or sumthin.  Once Akane's forgiven ya we can invite her out with us to da mall."

          "How bout Shampoo make special bentos instead!"

          "Uh...I don't think that's shuch a good idea jusht yet...With reshtraunt ice cream there's no worry about sumthin having been slipped in..."

          "Uh... yeah, Shampoo guesh done that before," Shampoo admitted sheepishly, gazing in admiration at Ukyo.  [Even knowing how sneaky and selfish I is, Ukyo still seem like me.  Otherwise why be my friend and even help make friend with Akane?  And good thing I have Ukyo help, doubt Akane would trust otherwise.  Aah, with Ukyo believing me and by side, feel can do anything; such as get back by her side… or perhaps time for even closer…]     

          "Heh, I remember Akane tellin me bout those drugged pork buns ya made.  She got real pished off and started yellin "ish not funny!" while I was a laughin my ass off. Hahahahaha!  Her stuck with a cold and Ranma... ACCHHOO!"

          "Hugging when sneeze," finished Shampoo as she did just that.  "Ukyo catch cold?  Need warm up," whispered Shampoo as she snuggled in closer to the topless chef and giggled.

          "This ain't funny Shampoo!  Would ya quit playing around?!"

          "Ukyo sheem think funny bit ago."

          "..."

          "But Shampoo stop playing round now… Airen," said the amazon in a serious tone, yet she didn't let go of the chef.  

          "....."  Ukyo looked down into Shampoo's now apprehensive eyes.  A gasp escaped her lips as she felt one of Shampoo's hands slide across her cheek and its fingers curl firmly around the back of her head.  Ukyo couldn't deny that she knew what was about to happen, and yet, as Shampoo closed her eyes, the chef found her self unable to even close her speechless mouth.  Time both seemed to go into slow motion and zip by, so that after a pause that seemed to last forever and before she knew it, Shampoo's mouth was over hers. 

          Ukyo's body tensed and her fists clenched as she felt Shampoo's tongue invade her mouth.  But moments later, its gentle, non threatening explorations made her body relax and her eyes close too.  Even in its gentleness, Ukyo could sense a deep underlying hunger that had never been satisfied.  It scared her, because she could feel something similar stirring inside of her. 

          Breaking the kiss, Ukyo was surprised by the instant sense of loss when Shampoo was no longer inside her.  "Shampoo... t-thish ish a mishtake…"

          "Why?" said a disappointed Shampoo as she moved back toward Ukyo.  "Shampoo... Shampoo skiida anta!"

          "Are ya trying to say ya love me?!  Don't make me laugh!  Your jush drunk and horny!" spat Ukyo as she held her ground defiantly, daring Shampoo to try and invade her personal space again.

          Taking the hint, Shampoo halted her physical advance, rechanneling all the passion which had been in it to a verbal one:  "What?!  Ukyo think no one can love her?  Just caush Ranma no love?  There much for admiring bout Ukyo.  How many shixteen year old Japs make own living work for shelves?  Even mosht adults ish shumeone elshe slave doing things they no like.  Ukyo better than all them!  Airen love what do, watch pashionate verve put into oko...oko...um-_-; yaki stuff."  Shampoo, noting Ukyo's irritation (but also hopping that was a grudging affection she was sensing behind it) quickly added, "Musht make besht in world!  Shampoo no can help falling for shuch independent spirit that devote self to own path," declared Shampoo as she risked taking one of Ukyo's hands in hers. 

          "Like how Airen ish rrough and tough, yet have good heart underneath," said Shampoo, lowering her voice as she raised her and Ukyo's interlocked hand to the chef's heart {Yatta!  First base again, and this time Airen no is stopping.  Able track reaction better too like this.  Seem she relaxing good… eh, now is speeding up?  Aah, how cute, she blushing.  Heh, must just realize where else hand is.  Better start talk again for she try remove]  "Willing help Shampoo much despite ush rivals.  Shampoo wish be good person like that."

          "Heh, ya one bitch whosh bark ish worsh than her bite.  I mean, have ya ever actually been able to kill anyone?"

          "No..."

          "Shee, I resht my cashe.  Your more of an affectionate shofty underneath ya amazon skin than I am," said Ukyo as she took a blushing Shampoo's other hand and squeezed it encouragingly.  "Go on.  I believe ya were in the middle of tellin me how wonderful I am."

          "Heh, maybe we like each other much waysh.  Shampoo feel shame loneliness in Airen which in Shampoo.  Know hurts much, want take way from Ukyo.  And no hurt that Ukyo look sho good as either guy or girl," whispered Shampoo as she dropped Konatsu's top to the side and entwined herself around Ukyo.

          "Hmmphh.  Ya jush looking for a replacement Ranma," smirked Ukyo. 

          "No, Airen got much more than that *hic* little boy.  Like backbone.  No pushy foot waffling.  Have enough confidence for be aggreshive and dominate.  Once decide what want will make hers, neh?  That real turn on for ush amajhons, sho only question left ish:  what Airen want?" Shampoo whispered provocatively into the chef's ear. 

          Ukyo then gasped as Shampoo began to nibble said ear.  She never imagined they could be this sensitive or stimulating.  Shampoo, having accomplished her goal of creating an opening, swung around and kissed Ukyo again; this time with much more vigor.

          Shampoo's desperate hunger was no longer lurking under the surface; it was instead assaulting Ukyo's mouth full force.  Ukyo's breathing grew ragged and shallow as she felt her own hunger rising inside of her.  Tentatively at first, she met Shampoo's assault, causing the amazon to instantly slow down as the chef first probed at her tongue, then picked up speed and entered into a dance with it.

          Gaining confidence, Ukyo began to push Shampoo back into her own territory.  As the amazon offered no resistance, Ukyo soon found herself assaulting Shampoo's mouth with a steadily increasing force,  mirroring her steadily increasing arousal.  The little noises that Shampoo started making only helped add fuel to the fire that the chef felt building between her legs. 

          Pleased with the sounds she was eliciting from Shampoo, Ukyo determined to find some ways of increasing them.  [Well, lets just see what Shampoo was going on about glomping girl Ranma].  First she backed Shampoo against a wall, allowing her to maintain pressure on the back of the amazon's head.  Then Ukyo moved her arms down and tightly embraced Shampoo, causing the amazon to let out an approving sigh as their breasts pressed against each other. 

          [Oh man] thought Ukyo, as she felt their breasts swelling up together, [Shampoo's right.  No way this could feel as good with a guy].  Shampoo started squirming.  Ukyo tightened her grasp to keep the amazon from slipping free, but then realized Shampoo's true intent as their tits rubbing together sent a jolt of pleasure through her.  Ukyo added in her own hip grinding to Shampoo's squirming to increase the friction and rubbing.  She was rewarded by the start of a low moan from Shampoo. 

          Encouraged, Ukyo sandwiched Shampoo's hip girdle; pressing her thigh between Shampoo's crotch in front and bringing one hand down to squeeze Shampoo's ass from behind, making the amazon's moaning instantly become more intense.  [Hmmm.  She really likes how that feels, eh?  Well good, cause so do I.]  Ukyo brought her second hand down to give attention to the other cheek while Shampoo started franticly rubbing her moist crotch against the chef's thigh.

          Finally, the need for air forced Ukyo to break gasping away from the kiss.  She couldn't believe that she'd actually just done _that_.  But the chef couldn't deny her senses; the taste of Shampoo still lingering in her mouth.  Those pleasured moans echoing in her ears.  That hint of lavender shampoo from the amazon's glorious mane teasing her nostrils. Her hands still felling, and cupped in, the shape of Shampoo's round firm ass.  Her erect and heaving breasts still tingling from their encounter with Shampoo's.

          Ukyo clenched her eyes shut in an attempt to shut out the sensations that were overwhelming her, but burned upon her inner lids  was the image of herself forcing the naked and squirming amazon against the wall.  The present was no help either; as the musky scent of their mutual arousal broke into Ukyo's awareness and flamed the fire within  that she'd been trying to bring under control.      

          "Airen *pant* shorry if go to fasht *pant* jush have wanted *pant* for sho long…"  For a brief moment, Ukyo thought she was saved, but then she opened her eyes and Shampoo gently cupped her cheek.  That touch, however innocently it may have been intended, combined with the sight of the glistening and panting amazon was to much.  [Damn you and your contagious lust, Shanchan] thought Ukyo with a smile.  

          "Airen?  ACK!"  Shampoo let out a shriek of girlish delight as Ukyo suddenly grabbed her and tossed her over her shoulders.  "IEAAA!  Poor virgin Shampoo ish captured by pervert brute!  What fate await  defenshelesh maiden in heantai's lair?  Oh help!" cried Shampoo in as melodramatic a tone as she could muster.  "Put Shampoo down brute!" screamed the amazon with glee as she began pounding on Ukyo's backside.

          "Who's da brute?!" snorted Ukyo as Shampoo ripped the chef's pants to pieces, revealing her white panties in the process.  "And shince when were ya defenshlesh?!" grimaced Ukyo at a particularly stinging smack.  "Ouch!  Cut dat out Shanchan!  I thought I told ya to keep the your handsh off my ash.  Ow!  Hey, are ya listening?  OW!  Oh, ya think you're being funny, do ya?" growled Ukyo as she glared back at the giggling amazon, who was putting on an innocent looking face and shrugging up her hands as if to say she had no idea how those red hand prints had got on Ukyo's butt. 

          "Shyah right!  I ain't buying thish innoshent maiden crap for a second.  Ughh, God damnit Shanchan, how much do ya weight?!"  Ukyo was finding this to be a lot harder than she'd imagined.  The stairs up to her bedroom seemed a lot longer than she remembered.  And Shampoo wasn't making this any easier, what with her "helpless" flailing and lubrication of the shoulder Ukyo was trying to keep her balanced on.

          "Ukyo shaying Shampoo fat?!"  accused the insulted amazon as she began to "helplessly" flail even harder.

          "Well, pahaps ya tushy ish a bit on the cushy side," teased Ukyo as she pinched Shampoo's upturned ass.  "Sheems city life's making ya soft girl."

          Shampoo crossed her hands indignantly over her chest (much to Ukyo's relief)  "Hmphh!  Ash if.  Anyway, Ukyo sheem like fine.  Womanly have ample curvesh.  Show ready make baby."

          "Heh.  Well, I'm not Ranma.  Being ready ain't gonna do ya a lick of good," said Ukyo as she tossed Shampoo roughly onto her futon.

          "Will settle for do Shampoo with good licking," declared the amazon, spreading her legs wide before Ukyo.

          This was even better than all Ukyo's fantasies with Ranma; in which she'd always been the dominant partner.  As the chef surveyed the seductively submissive and supine Shampoo, she had to admit that it was really turning her on; the temptation to dive right on top of the amazon was nearly overpowering, but she didn't let it show.  Ukyo knew Shampoo (and the nature other own gender in general) well enough to suspect such shows of submission would lead the unwary and weak down the slippery slopes of enslavement.  It was time to prove to Shampoo, and even more to herself, who was in control.   

          "Oh ho.  Ya gettin mighty presumptuoush, bitch.  Think all ya gotta do is flash shum pushy and I'll ravish ya like a weak willed guy who can't control his hormonesh?!  Ya far to full of ya self bitch."  Noting Shampoo's increasingly heavy breathing, Ukyo decided to step up her role and got right in the amazon's face.  "Sho ya want a good lickin, eh?  All right, I'll lick ya real good.  Time ya learn who wears the pants here!  On yo stomach bitch!"               

          "Hai, mistress!" gasped Shampoo between ragged breathes as she instantly flipped over.  This was even better than all her fantasies with Ranma; in which she'd made him the dominant partner, nearly killing them once when she'd made Pink and Link pretend they'd captured her with the submissive wife flower, all so she could turn a bit of her fantasy to reality by having Ranma play the knight to her helpless maiden.  But that paled in comparison to how much this turned her on.  As Ukyo began to spank her, Shampoo blushed in embarrassment at her reveling in the abuse.

          "I told ya what would happen if ya touched my ash again," warned Ukyo as she slapped Shampoos'.  "But ya had to go and be a bad girl anyway, didntcha?"            

          "Yesh!  Yesh!  Shampoo bad girl!  Punish Shampoo!  Shampoo desherve be punish!"  screamed Shampoo as she became more and more aroused with each blow struck.  Ukyo, who was also finding her arousal (and the force of her slaps) increasing, climbed onto the small of Shampoo's back and brought her left hand underneath Shampoo's ass to help push it up into the air.  Her rhythm momentarily faltered as she realized where this put her hand, but then increased with even more earnestness as she could feel her hand getting wetter with each strike.

          "Oh yeah, you can bet I'm gonna punish Shampoo.  Shampoo's been a very bad girl.  And a naughty one.  Yuv tried tuh kill me.  Yuv tried tuh seduce me.  Not to mention what a selfish bitch yuv been in da past.  Ya got a whole lot to answer for bitch!"  Each offense that Ukyo now began to list in her savage excoriation was accompanied by an upward thrust against Shampoo's pussy; increasing the amount of impact her ass absorbed.

          Getting into a groove, Ukyo found herself relishing the feel of her hand impacting Shampoo's bottom.  How it first accepted the slapping hand, letting it sink in slightly, immediately followed by a  satisfying *smack* and resistance as she made contact with the layer of firm, well toned glutes.  Next was the feel of heat underneath both her hands as Shampoo's creamy white skin turned a raw red, then faded to a rosy pink as Ukyo raised her hand back up, ready to began the whole motion again.

          As Ukyo continued to redden her ass, a great heat began to build up in Shampoo's lions.  She felt like she was about to explode, but then Ukyo started slowing down as she reached the end of offenses to accompany and justify her blows.  "No stop! I sho closhe" screamed Shampoo desperately, "Do more!  Do harder!  Shampoo still have much for pay!  Once, pretend like rescue Akane, but actually plan kill and frame Pantyhose boy!  And nearly get Ranma and shelf killed by Pink and Link for selfish fantasy, but that not all, after they ish capturing ush try rape Ranma instead of escape…"  Though the first revelations had been somewhat shocking, this last one caused something to snap in Ukyo.  "…and not only time, in Phoenix mountain blackmail Ranma into bed by threaten kill Akane…"

          "YA LITTLE MURDEROUS SLUT!  I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE YOUR FIRST!"  Shampoo gasped as she felt cold steel slap against her butt.  Ukyo allowed her twinges of jealousy to give full play to her sadism; mercilessly flaying Shampoo's already tender bottom with her spatulas.     

          "Ouch!  Airen being little exshessive, neh?" winced Shampoo with slight trepidation; she wasn't sure now whether the chef was RPing or genuinely disgusted with her.  But she certainly wasn't letting up on her.  So Shampoo continued to blurt out her sins as the severe spanking drove her closer and closer to the edge.  As she made her final confession the heat building within her finally exploded, consuming her entire body in convulsions and causing Ukyo to stop in surprise.       

         Lying naked, covered in her own cum and sin, Shampoo figured Ukyo must be pretty disgusted with her.  Hell, she was to ashamed with herself to look Ukyo in the face.  Or to afraid of what she might see there.  “Well, now know how hateful Shampoo really ish...”  Shampoo’s resigned speech was stopped short by Ukyo cupping the side of her face.

          “I can’t believe you... ya stupid little pervert.”  To Shampoo’s astonishment, Ukyo was smirking.  "Idiot," chided Ukyo as she poked Shampoo on the forehead, "Shure, you’ve done shum awful crap, and shum of it was pretty shocking, but that’s all in the pasht.  What counts ish what ya decide to do now, Shanchan."

          All of the tension drained out of Shampoo, leaving her feeling lighter than she could ever remember.  Feeling her old confidence (which had been quite tarnished) recovering, Shampoo took Ukyo's words to heart and drew the chef in for a light kiss.  "Mmmmhhh.  By way, thish _ish_  first time.  After got Ranma in bed he manage outfox Shampoo…  Inshidentally, thoshe spatula much _hurt_."

          "Oh, ya know you liked it sugah," teased Ukyo, until she noticed Shampoo's raised eyebrow.

          "Hmmm.  Maybe should show Airen what feel like."  Ukyo gulped as she noticed Shampoo had filched one of her spatulas with out her noticing, and was now whimsically twirling it in her figures as she assessed it's heft and grip.  "Sheriously, no think Shampoo be able sit down resht of week.  Airen touch me ish all good, but tools too impershonal cold.  Beshides, Airen no want her Shanchan's smooth butt become all blistered and callushed, neh?"         

          "All right, all right, maybe I got a little carried away there; thish ish my firsht time too, neh?  I'll go get some lotion for that cute butt of yours, okay?"  As she went into the bathroom and started looking through the cabinet, Ukyo called back "Ya shouldn't be getting down on yourself and thinkin your all hateful.  Y-you've really got a lot of good pointsh."  Ukyo was glad Shampoo couldn't see her blushing.  "Beshides, it's not like I'm shum saint or anything.  I've had an underhanded plot againsht Ranma and Akane in my time." 

          Returning to the futon, Ukyo began to gingerly apply lotion to Shampoo's smarting bottom.  It did sting slightly, but Shampoo still found it very pleasurable, and sighed with approval.  "Hmmh, ya know, if Ranma's not gonna be mine I still owe that jerk for dishonoring my family and stealing our businesh."

          "Ukyo? you getting scary look on fayshe."

          "Well, the more I think about it, the more I'm getting pished off.  If he's loved Akane all thish time he should have been honesht about it instead of leading ush all on...  That jerk!  I bet he gets off on having ush all fight over him!"

          "Shampoo no think Ranma like that, could have slept with Shampoo, but didn't..."

          "That's cuz the wush got no balls.  Plush Akane would have killed him.  You've gotta admit though, he hash a huge ego, it must make him feel shooo manly, having ush all after him.  Hah, well now I'm more manly than that little boy, wouldn't you shay, Shanchan?"  asked Ukyo with a leer as she climbed on top of Shampoo and cupped her breasts. 

          "Mmhh.  Yesh, Airen much more manly than fem boy," murmured Shampoo as she ran her nails along Ukyo's back. 

          "That cads gonna pay for leading ush all on.  He's jusht like that lying father of hish.  Making me fall in love with him again, jusht to trick me out of my revenge!  Ooh, when I think about all that free okonomiyaki that glutton conned outta me!"  Shampoo gasped in pleasure as Ukyo began angrily squeezing her breasts.  "Mark my words Satome, my vengeance will have you begging for mercy!  We'll show him that hell hath no fury like women's scorn, right Shanchan?!" said Ukyo as she pointed at her unexpected conspirator. 

          "M-me?  Uh, what Ukyo plan?" said a nervous Shampoo.  It looked like the relative calm that had settled over Nerima since the wedding fiasco was about to be shattered.     

          "Um, I'll figure that out later, all I can think of is ecchi stuff right now," laughed Ukyo as she began exploring all over her Shanchan with hands, mouth, and tongue.  She marveled at how responsive the amazon was.  Even the lightest lick or brushing of fingertips elicited some little noise from Shampoo.  It felt like playing an instrument, strumming here brought forth a deep moan, strumming lower caused it to increase in pitch.  [God, she's like one big erogenous zone] thought Ukyo as she ran her tongue along the underside of Shampoo's breast and used circular strokes on her stomach, causing the amazon to purr with delight. 

          "Mmmhhh, what wrong with ecchi revenge?  Shampoo show you ecchi revenge."   The amazon suddenly spun herself around 180 degrees and used Ukyo's thighs to pull herself toward, and then the white panties away from, the surprised chefs pussy.  Before Ukyo could react, the amazon's powerful thighs had clamped down around her head and Ukyo found herself face down in Shampoo's crotch while her own was being probed by the amazon's energetic tongue.  To help her tongue thrust deeper, Shampoo grabbed Ukyo's ass and started squeezing downward on it.

          Ukyo was meanwhile grabbing at Shampoo's thighs and trying to break free, but the harder she struggled the more Shampoo ground Ukyo's face into her pussy.  "If Airen want breath again, Airen start licking. No ever beat Ranma if so slow and weak, Shampoo need train," taunted the amazon. 

          At first Ukyo refused to be humiliated further, but Shampoo's ruthless smothering eventually forced her to give in to the amazon's inviting pussy.  Shampoo struggled to hold her release back, wanting to cum at the same time as Ukyo.  Fortunately, Ukyo's technique and knowledge of nerve clusters was much less refined than Shampoo's, who made sure to lap across the chefs clit with each stroke of her tongue and knead the most sensitive parts of her butt right where the nerve plexus came off the sacrum.  Still, it was a close race; just as Shampoo felt her resistance crumbling, Ukyo finally climaxed, and Shampoo joined her in ecstasy.  "A-AIREN!"  

          The two ended up in a pile of tangled limbs.  "That wuz dirty Shanchan.  I'd smack ya, except I'm not sure which one of these ish my arm.  I'll get you back, *yawn* but not tonight," warned Ukyo affectionately as she basked in the relaxing afterglow of their mutual orgasm, savoring the blurred feeling of not knowing where her body ended and Shampoo's began. 

          Sensing her partners tiredness, Shampoo leaned over and gave her a goodnight kiss on the forehead.  "Thanksh Ukyo, t-thish mean lot to Shampoo," then slyly, "but me shee need work on Ukyo's endurance too."

          [Gah!  She's still rearing to go?!]  Aloud: "Ash if.  Some of ush still have to get up at the crack of dawn and prepare our restaurants for breakfasht.  Speaking of which, don't ya need to be getting back to the Cat Cafe?"

          "Um... bout that... can Shampoo work for Ukyo?   Have much experience waiting and cooking."  Shampoo didn't want to go back home and face Cologne after her shameful behavior this afternoon.  Worse case, her grandmother could announce Shampoo's mission a failure and try and force her back home.  Shampoo didn't relish the thought of having to try and out maneuver her matriarch.  Hopefully, enough family sentiment remained that Cologne would look the other way, but this afternoon it seemed she was willing to sacrifice her granddaughter rather than lose face before the tribe again. 

          "Shure.  Don't expect to get special treatment jusht cuz ya slept with me though.  You'll get paid the shame as Konatsu," replied Ukyo, avarice burning in her eyes.  Just adding up how much extra business she'd get from guys by having a knockout waitress like Shanchan was making cash register sounds go off in her head.  Ohh, when they went shopping tomorrow, she'd have to keep her eyes out for something skimpy to force on Shanchan as a uniform.  It'd be the perfect contrast to Konatsu's formal kimono.

          Shampoo cuddled up to Ukyo and watched her face as she drifted off to sleep.  "Airen so cute," thought Shampoo fondly as she caressed her new beloved's face.  What a wonderful ending to a day which had looked so bleak and hopeless.  Everything had been lost to her in one horrible moment, but she'd ended finding a friend and someone who'd finally accept her love.  She wouldn't let anyone take that away from her, even her grandmother.  Shampoo knew there was going to be lots of craziness and trouble ahead, but she wasn't going to let that overshadow her happiness now.  With a blissful sigh, she snuggled in closer to Ukyo and joined her in sleeps embrace.

THE END