"Bravely bold Sir Robin,

Rode forth from Camelot.

He was not afraid to die,

Oh Brave Sir Robin.

He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,

Brave, Brave, Brave, Brave Sir Robin…"

Monty Python, Brave Sir Robin, Monty Python and The Holy Grail

November 3^rd 2001, 13:30

The sign read O’Malley’s, the place that the major said to go to. Sir Nicholas held the door open for Aliciana and they went inside. The dive was in a shambles, with broken glass, chairs and bottles everywhere. Aliciana set down Pixel and the crossbow and searched behind the bar while Nicholas went out back. She found Ash bruised and sleeping beside a putrid-smelling Ed.

" Ash! Wake up!"

She patted his cheek.

" Wha? Me no wake up now. Time sleep yes. Mmmmmm."

" Wake up! Wake up!"

Ash woke up brusquely. He looked up and saw Aliciana. The one he had searched for had found him.

" Aliciana! What are you doing here?"

" Oh Ash, I was so worried! What happened to you? You’re all beat up!"

" Phil happened to me. That bastard was in here after the tank blew up our car. He roughed me up and then left. I threw a pool cue right through his chest! Something weird is going on here. And he used my real name, Aliciana! No one uses my real name!"

" What is your real name? You’ve never told me."

" We haven’t really had the time to talk about it. I’ll tell you later."

" What happened to you after you guys fell in that hole? And what happened to Ed?"

" Long story. Can you help me up?"

" Sure."

Aliciana helped Ash up into one of the few unbroken chairs remaining in the bar. At that instant, Nicholas strode in from the back door.

" Who’s that guy?"

" Ah, Sir Ash, I presume. Aliciana’s told me a lot about you. My name is Nicholas Lupinmeyer. Vampire Hunter Knight Errant by trade. What has happened here?"

" Vampire Hunter? Where’d you pick this guy up, Aliciana? A below-average episode of Angel? Vampire Hunter D III?"

" Be quiet, Ash. Sir Nikky saved me from zombies after you and Ed fell in that hole. He’s been escorting me all the way since then. Isn’t that right, Nikky?"

Nicholas set down the luggage he had been toting on his back, and kneeled over to inspect Ed. He leaned his face close to Ed’s to check for breathing. There was breath there, and it smelled sour. He saw the bottle clutched in his hand.

" What’s the good word, Doc? Is he going to be able to play the piano again?"

" Ash, your friend is not dead, merely sleeping off his hangover brought by sampling the wares of this tavern. If he knew how to play the piano beforehand, he should be fine."

Ash limped over to the sink and filled his hands with cold water. He dropped said water on to the face of his friend. Ed sprang to his feet.

" Yeeowch! That’s some-a cold-a water! Hey Ash, you’re alive. And there’s that girl you were with! But this guy, I don’t know."

" Nicholas Lupinmeyer, Vampire…"

" Cut the chatter, Loopyflyer! What happened after Phil took me out?"

" Did you say Lupinmeyer?’

" Yes. Why do you ask?"

" After Ash got taken out by that Phil guy, he lifted me up somehow, without even touching me, and he said ‘When you see Sir Nicholas Lupinmeyer, tell him that Lithpicis is waiting for him in New York’. What does that mean?"

" The Thrall."

" What’s that, Nikky?"

" The Thrall is one of the gifts received by the Vampire when they fall into the Bloodlust. It allows them to control the lesser creatures, like wolves and bats."

" Hey!"

" My apologies, Sir Ed. You have been zombified, no? You have died, and have been brought back by supernatural means?"

" I would have been made human again, if not for this moron." Ed jutted a finger towards Ash.

" Hey! That’s dirty pool!"

" You killed Ed, Ash? Why?"

" Extenuating Circumstances. It couldn’t be helped."

" It was your bad aim with the naginata and your horrible timing, you dumbass!"

" Quieten down, fellows. Arguing about won’t resurrect you, now will it."

" No."

" So as I was saying, the Thrall could conceivably be used to control zombies as well, and this ‘Phil’ you speak of must be one of the alter-egos of Lithpicis Von Carfiels. He apparently wants to be rid of me. We’ll see about that. My apologies, Lady Aliciana, but I must take my leave. Lithpicis beckons, and I reckon you will be safe among your friend and his comrade in arms. Adieu!"

" Sir Nikky! Wait!"

But he was already out the door.

There came a whooshing. Air rushed in through the doorframe, the door having been torn off. Ash, Aliciana, and Ed ran out to investigate. It was a magic carpet, hovering inches off the ground. And on it was Fate, with two imps in front of a nautical steering wheel. Nicholas stood in front of it in awe, crossing himself repeatedly.

" Fate!"

Ash ran up on to the airborne carpet, and examined her face thoroughly with his hands, checking for cracks.

" Hello, Ash. I see you’ve met Lenrock. He looked just like me, didn’t he."

" Yes," Ash finished his examination. " Good. It’s you. Let’s get off this stupid planet."

" Sure, Ash, whatever you say."

The rest of the party stood still, dumbfounded, at the sight of a redheaded teenaged-looking person on a genuine flying carpet piloted by small simian creatures. You’d be dumbfounded too.

" Well? Are you coming or not? There’s room-aplenty on this rig!"

Ash leapt off the carpet, and ran in the bar for the luggage. He put it on the back of the carpet. Then he handed Pixel to Aliciana, whom he pushed on board. Ed boarded willingly, and Ash got back on.

" Fate, this is…"

" I know who you all are. Lupinmeyer, you should really be getting on. We leave presently."

" Excuse me, my lady, but I have an appointment in New York. There is a vampire to be slain."

" I understand fully. See you later. Let’s get this carpet moving, you stupid imps!"

The carpet rose slowly, and Lupinmeyer started to leave. Aliciana jumped off the carpet, screaming "Wait! Nikky, wait!"

He turned, and ran right into a peck on the cheek.

" Thank you, Nikky. That was a ‘kerchief to put on your lance, if you know what I mean."

Ash seethed with anger: " Aliciana! Get back here!"

The happily surprised knight resumed his walk, and Aliciana got back on the carpet.

" What do you call that?"

" Going away present."

The carpet took off into the sky.

15:30

The carpet neared a carpet-sized hole in a nearby cloud. Fate was talking to Ash.

" Ash, your rooms are down the hall. Please take the luggage there. I’ve got to give our guests the grand tour of the facilities."

" Sure. Barracks For Misplaced Mortals, right?"

" Yes, that’s right. I’m sure you’ll be pleasnatly surprised with your lodgings."

Ash was about to ask why, but the carpet had entered the cloud, and it was time to disembark. After some directions from Fate, Ash reached the Barracks, while Aliciana and Ed were led through the facilities.

Ash opened the door to his room. To his surprise, it was furnished with his old stuff! It was like being home again. He took a quick shower, and hopped in the sack.

November 4^th 2001, 02:27

Ash awoke to his alarm’s buzzing. He slammed the small button down, and received an Ankh message.

"Ash. Sorry to wake you, but you need to see this."

" I’m always ready!" said Ash, in a sarcastic tone.

He stumbled out of bed, into a Gatchaman shirt, and walked into the Dr. Strangelove-style War Room. Fate and a gaggle of imps were clustered around a view screen.

" Wow. Very Mars Attacks in here, I’ll tell you that."

" Shut up a moment, Ash, and come look at this."

Imps cleared a path, and Ash got a look at the screen. It was simultaneously a map of the New York area, and an O.J. cam of a small car, driving along a highway. It also showed up as a red dot on the map screen.

" What’s all this then?"

" Lupinmeyer is seven hours away from meeting his death at the hands of Lithpicis Von Carfiels, or as you knew him, Phil McTaggart."

" Why do I care?"

" Lupinmeyer is essential to The Cause, Ash, and your status as Defender of The Cause dictates you save him."

" Save him! Save him! Did you see what that animal did to Aliciana!"

" As I recall, Aliciana did it to him.’

" Irrelevant."

" Don’t you want to find out what happened to Phil, and why he beat you up in the bar? Maybe even get a little revenge?"

" I do want to find out what’s wrong with him. Fine, I’ll do it."

" You’re going to need weapons. Phil’s been enthralling an army of zombies to protect him. We’ll drop you near George’s Gun Shop, off The Jersey Turnpike. We’ll give Lupinmeyer a little "car trouble" in front of the shop. You’ll join up with him there. After that, drive to Times Square. Phil’s got a sort of palace set up inside the former MTV building. There shouldn’t be much traffic."

" Why?"

" Look at the map. It’s self explanatory."

Ash looked at the 3D map of what remained of the once-great city. There was an asteroid crater that took the place of Brooklyn. An earthquake fissure took the place of the upper half of the city. Manhattan had detached itself, like in Escape From New York, but the George Washington Bridge remained, connecting the island to the mainland.

There was an active population bar on the bottom of the screen. There were only three thousand some survivors remaining.

" Damn…"

" Ash, I’ve brought up a collection of vampire movies into your room. They’re the best we’ve got for information. Study them."

" Can do."

" You drop in six hours. Be prepared."

" When you say ‘drop’, do you mean ‘drop’ like before."

" Yes, why?"

" Can I have a parachute?"

" We’ll see."

Aliciana woke up at seven-thirty, and walked into Ash’s room, hearing the noise. He was halfway through From Dusk Till Dawn, and he was taking notes.

" Hey, Ash, what are you doing?’

Ash had been told to tell none of his friends about the mission, so he lied.

" Oh, just watchin’ some movies is all. Wanna watch too?"

Aliciana sat down on the couch. " Sure! What are we watching?"

" Nothing too cerebral. From Dusk Till Dawn."

" Hey, I’ve seen this one. That guy’s got a huge forehead."

" Tarantino? Yeah, he does."

" Is there going to be a test?"

" What?"

" You’re taking notes like it’s bio class! Bio class. Ash, do you miss school?"

" Not really. This place is way better."

Ash’s chest buzzed under his shirt. Go time. Aliciana noticed out of the corner of her eye.

" What’s a Ga-tcha-man?"

" It’s an anime. We can watch it together when I get back."

" When you get back? Back from where?"

" I’ve got a bit of an errand to run. I’ll be back soon."

Ash got up and walked towards the door and put on his hoody. Aliciana saw something under his shirt, but declined to mention it. It was his naginata, sheathed. He left the room, and she continued to watch the vampire movie. And then it dawned on her. Lupinmeyer! Sir Nikky! She looked towards the door, and saw Fate. And then she fell unconscious…