Alright, this one needs some explaining. As a frequenter of a LOTR-related message board, I have come across some strange people. One was this guy who, for a few weeks, kept posting these completely asinine theories about secret meanings in LOTR. He claimed that Hobbits were based on Teletubbies, that Tolkien was promoting a war on Islam, and various other crap.
Then one day he disappeared. So, since it seemed that the position of resident crackpot had become open, I whipped up a little theory of my own, in hopes of filling this guy's shoes. Behold, and amaze!
It is a very real possibility that the actors who were chosen to portray characters in the films were selected not only for their acting. I have found irrefutable evidence which proves that casting was carried out with some secret, ulterior motive! This is easily seen when one looks closely at the names of characters and actors with the letters rearranged.Firstly, consider the character of Gandalf the Grey, played by Sir Ian McKellen. Would it surprise you to learn that the name Gandalf The Grey is an anagram for The Grand, Gay Left? Amazing but true! As we all know, McKellen is an openly homosexual actor, and voiced his disapproval of the U.S. attack on Iraq. Am I the only one who finds this a little too suspicious?
Next, and even more uncanny, is the case of Legolas, played by teen idol Orlando Bloom. Imagine, if you will, Mr. Bloom seated in a room of bland-tasting fruit. See the correlation? That's right, Orlando Bloom Sits Figs is an anagram for Lots Of Girls, And I Go Boom! It seems strange enough to refer to his popularity among teenage females, but to correctly identify the sound that is made whilst he is unleashing an arrow? Sounds fishy to me.
Finally we arrive at Gimli the dwarf, played on screen by veteran character actor John Rhys-Davies. By now, I'm sure you've all figured out the anagram that practically leaps out at you: John Rhys-Davies Once becomes Shy; H.I.V.; No One Cares, J.R.D.! Now, it has been well established that John was the shy one among the Fellowship during filming, and did not bond with the others well. It is also common knowledge that his character is the least popular among movie fans. And although John has never said that he is H.I.V. positive, he has never publically stated that he isn't!
There you have it folks, undeniable proof that....uh....well, in all of my frantic attempts to find proof, I forgot what it was that I was trying to prove in the first place. Well, I guess I'm living up to [John Doe]'s standards, at least!
So yeah, what does everybody think? Surely I can't be the only one to have noticed this??
