THE CUTTING EDGE

By "Xevious" Pat Banks

EXT. TOWNSVILLE SKYLINE - DAYTIME

NARRATOR: The city of Townsville, a peaceful burg where families spend quality time together in the great outdoors.

We see Townsville Park on a Sunday afternoon. Kids are running about, while the adults are relaxing in the sun, enjoying their picnics.

NARRATOR: But not everyone is enjoying this bright, bright sunshiny day. Some families take the meaning of togetherness way to seriously.

Pan over to the Powerpuff Girls’ house, which has a large hole where the front door used to be. What remains of a mini-van is being hauled away. The Smith family, dressed in their villain outfits, are being put in a squad car.

NARRATOR: One such family is the Smiths. How evil can you get? Take ‘em away boys!

Police officers seem to be everywhere. Mixed in with Townvilles finest are an equal number of people from the media. The girls are seen standing in front of their badly damaged home, having their pictures taken by newspaper photographers. Flashbulbs are constantly popping.

BUBBLES (to her sisters standing next to her): And all this because she says we ruined her dinner.

BUTTERCUP (in the middle): I don’t know about you, but I’m getting sick and tired of dealing with this circus every time we catch the bad guys.

BUBBLES (waving to the photographers): Not me. I like getting my picture in the paper. This will be another one for the scrapbook.

BUTTERCUP: Figures. (turning to Blossom.) How about you? Don’t you think these creeps hang around way too long?

BLOSSOM (trying to keep her smile while talking): They’re just doing their job. Plus, it’s our responsibility to show the people that we are upstanding citizens in private as well as in our public lives as crime fighters.

Without the support of her sisters, Buttercup resigns herself to what she considers the unglamorous side of crime fighting. Finally, after numerous pictures, the photographers start to disperse.

BUTTERCUP (turning around quickly): It looks like the papers are done with the picture taking. I’m heading back in.

BUBBLES: Sorry Buttercup, it’s the TV guys’ turn.

BUTTERCUP: Aahhh! This never ends!

The girls split up and meet with reporters who are eager for a story. Buttercup finds Stanley Whitfield, her favorite, or should we say least annoying, member of the media. He is poised with his microphone ready and the camera already rolling. Being Buttercup’s designated interviewer, Stanley knows how to handle his temperamental subject.

STANLEY: So Buttercup, another evildoer is captured and the day is saved. You girls were in quite a fight, and in your own house to boot. How did you manage to stop this insane family of super villains?

BUTTERCUP: Stopping them was easy. It was trying to protect the Professor that was hard. When they drove their van into the house they….

Cut to a large office with a big screen television playing in the background. On the screen is Stanley with Buttercup. Panning back from the television, we see a middle-aged man with gray hair sitting at a mahogany desk. As he watches the interview, he wrings his hands and smiles broadly.

MAN: She’s the one! That girl is exactly what I’m looking for! (He presses a button of an intercom that is sitting on the desk.) Vera, find me Caldwell. I’ve finally found him something to do. (to himself) I never should have let my sister talk me into hiring that kid. He’d better not screw this up.

CUT TO:

INT. POWERPUFF HOUSEHOLD - LATE AFTERNOON

The girls are standing in the living room assessing the damage done earlier in the day.

BUTTERCUP: I thought those reporters would never leave.

BLOSSOM: That’s the least of our worries. Look at this place.

BUBBLES: What a mess.

BLOSSOM: The Smiths really did a number. Every room has been smashed to bits.

BUBBLES: We should fix our bed so we don’t have to sleep on the floor.

BLOSSOM: First things first. With the load bearing walls damaged like they are, it’s a wonder the house is still standing. If we don’t shore things up, and fast, it might not last the night.

A loud knocking is heard coming from the back door.

BLOSSOM: Who could that be? I thought everyone was gone.

The girls fly to the kitchen with Bubbles arriving at the door first.

BUBBLES (in sing song fashion): Who iiiis it?

MAN (singing back): It’s the Maaaayor.

BUBBLES (as she opens the door): What are you doing back here? Why didn’t you use the front door?

MAYOR: There was no front door, just some giant hole. What was I supposed to knock on?

BUBBLES: That makes sense.

BUTTERCUP (shoving Bubbles aside): What can we do for you Mayor?

MAYOR: Could you get the Professor for me? I need to give him the nitro glycerin he left at the science fair.

The Mayor pulls out a small bottle from the left pocket of his coat. He shakes it in front of Buttercup’s face to emphasize his point. Everyone seems oblivious to the danger.

BLOSSOM: It’s not like the Professor to forget one of his experiments. How did he lose it?

MAYOR: That’s easy. It fell behind the dynamite.

With his free hand, the Mayor whips out a stack of t.n.t. from his right coat pocket. He places it on the stove.

BLOSSOM: Why didn’t he check behind the dynamite in the first place?

MAYOR: Because he was too busy trying to fix the faulty catapult.

The Mayor points with the bottle to his car parked in the back yard. It is towing a large, wooden, Mediareview catapult aimed directly at the house. In its pouch sits a boulder that continually quivers at the slightest breeze.

MAYOR: That baby has one heckava hair trigger. He never could get the latch to hold just right. Now, could you be a dear and get the Professor. I still have to drop this catapult off to a W. E. Coyote. That guy bought up all of the secondhand inventions and at bargain prices!

BUBBLES: I think he’s downstairs in the lab.

BLOSSOM: Are you sure? I thought he left to go to the hardware store.

BUBBLES: There’s only one way to find out. (She turns around and yells.) Professor! (pause) Maybe he can’t hear me. I’ll go downstairs and check.

BUTTERCUP: Wait right there. Let me show you how it’s done. PROFESSOR!!!!

Buttercup’s sonic yell weakens the already stressed infrastructure of the house. Small cracks in the walls grow progressively larger. Plaster starts falling from the ceiling. A low rumbling can be heard.

BLOSSOM (speaking very deliberately): I think we’d better head outside.

They grab the Mayor and head for the front entranceway. Landing softly on the lawn, the Powerpuff Girls watch the demise of their beloved home. The entire second floor collapses into the first with only the frame left standing. In the background we see the Professor pull up into the driveway. As he steps out of his car the Mayor comes running over waving the bottle.

MAYOR: Professor, you won’t believe what happened. I found your nitro glycerin behind the dynamite. Here you go. (He hands him the bottle.) Eh, oh yes, your house fell down and you have no place to live. Toodles. (The Mayor runs to his car and drives off.)

PROFESSOR (quietly to himself): Now what have they gone and done?

The girls, staring at the wreckage, don’t notice that the Professor is behind them until Buttercup spots him out of the corner of her eye.

BUTERCUP: There he is! He wasn’t in the lab after all!

The girls swoop over to where the Professor is standing. Seeing an angry look on his face, they hover in the air while looking nervously at the ground, waiting for him to speak.

PROFESSOR (hands on his hips): What on earth happened?!

All three girls start talking at once.

POWERPUFF GIRLS: Buttercup was yelling and…. If Blossom would actually work instead of talking we…. So I said "Who iiiis it" and the Mayor said…. made the house fall…. thinks she knows everything…. something about a coyote….

PROFESSOR: OK. OK. It’s all right. I’m not going to put the blame on anyone. It really doesn’t matter now. What we need to be more concerned about is where we’re going to live.

BUTTERCUP: Shoot! Fixing this up ought to be a snap. We should be done by the end of the day.

The Professor’s mobile phone rings.

PROFESSOR: Hello, Professor speaking.

MAYOR (on the other end): Have any of you seen my boulder or my dynamite? They seem to be missing.

PROFESSOR: Boulder and dynamite? No, I can’t say that I have but we’ll….Egad!!

The Professor points towards the sky as a dark shadow engulfs the front yard. Soon afterwards, a huge boulder comes whistling through the air and smashes his car.

PROFESSOR (gritting his teeth): Mayor, I think I just found your boulder.

Suddenly, a tremendous explosion sends what is left of the house high into the air. Splinters of wood rain from the sky.

PROFESSOR: And your dynamite.

BLOSSOM: Our house!

BUBBLES: Our car!

BUTTERCUP: The reporters! (She punches a tree, knocking it to the ground.)

Seconds later, a myriad of news vans and police cars are parked in front of the demolished home. The press is having a field day. A young reporter with wind blown hair and pearly white teeth, the epitome of "camera friendly," is trying to zero in on Buttercup. Spotting Stanley, he knows she will not be far behind. He stands rather impatiently behind the seasoned correspondent and, as Buttercup approaches, makes his move.

YOUNG REPORTER (speaking loudly into his un-activated mobile phone): What’s that? A little girl fell into an abandoned well at the old McGruder farm! She’s stuck?! This could be the story of the year! Keep a lid on it and I’ll get there as soon as I can! I’ll be famous!

Stanley, with an ear for news, overhears the story. Silently gathering his equipment and crew, he immediately hops into a news van and speeds away to his next "scoop." They zip past Buttercup, who was walking in their direction.

BUTTERCUP (watching the van pulling away): I wonder why they’re in such hurry?

The young reporter, along with his cameraman, spring from out of the shadows. He hastily starts an interview with our surprised hero.

YOUNG REPORTER: This is Keith Caldwell of "The Cutting Edge" coming to you from the former home of the Powerpuff Girls. Here with me is Buttercup to give us a run down of the strange turn of events that occurred here today.

BUTTERCUP: I’m not telling you anything, you jerk. Who do you think you are?

KEITH (ignoring Buttercup’s question): I hear from inside sources that you’re the one who is totally to blame for the catastrophe. That if it wasn’t for you, none of this would have happened. Essentially, it was all your fault. So, Buttercup, how do you feel?

He sticks his microphone in front of her face.

BUTTERCUP (angrily): I feel like punching somebody in the nose!

KEITH: And just who may be the target of this physical altercation?

BUTTERCUP: Stick around and you’ll find out! Better yet, just keep away from me.

Buttercup storms away as Keith turns to the camera.

KEITH: This is Keith Caldwell coming to you direct from yet another Powerpuff Girls disaster area.

Keith runs his finger across his throat signaling the cameraman to cut.

CAMERAMAN: Why did you have to be so rough? She’s just a little girl for crying out loud.

KEITH: Are you kidding? That girl is a ratings bonanza. Do you realize how many times the police have been here in the last month alone? It’s made her into a ticking time bomb that could go off at any second, and I want to be there when it happens.

CAMERAMAN: Yeah, but to be so aggressive.

KEITH: People eventually get tired of the same line of questioning every night. You have to "prime the pump" if you know what I mean. That’s what my uncle… I mean, my boss drilled into me just this afternoon. (He cranes his neck to look above the crowd.) Now where did that girl go? If she’s going to punch someone in the nose I’ve got to be there for an exclusive.

CUT TO:

EXT. MOTEL PARKING LOT - LATE NIGHT

The girls and the Professor have just stepped out the office of a cheap, run-down motel and are being drenched by a cloudburst. They each carry a suitcase that contains all that they could salvage from their former home. After a few minutes of searching through the rain and darkness, they trudge upstairs to their rooms.

INT. MOTEL ROOM

PROFESSOR (turning on the lights): Sorry girls, this is the best I could do on such short notice. With this being the summer tourist season just about everything is booked solid. Something better will come open soon enough, though.

BUTTERCUP: No sweat, we can stand it for a few days.

BLOSSOM: After knocking over the house you shouldn’t have anything to complain about.

BUTTERCUP: Lay off! I’m not in the mood. I just want to get some sleep. Another day like this and I’ll….I’ll….

BLOSSOM: And you’ll what?

PROFESSOR: Settle down. Everybody is on their last nerve after what happened today. All we need is a good night’s sleep. Now, if you need anything I’ll be right next door.

BUBBLES: I don’t think this will be so bad. We’ll meet new people, make new friends, and have all sorts of adventures.

BUTTERCUP: Professor, can I stay with you?

PROFESSOR (smiling as he leaves): Good night.

The girls unpack their suitcases and begin changing into their nightgowns.

BUBBLES: It feels great to get out of these wet clothes.

BLOSSOM: No kidding. I’m soaked to the bone.

BUTTERCUP (mumbling to herself): Dumb reporters. Can’t stand any of them. Wish they’d all disappear like that stupid Stanley.

BLOSSOM (to Buttercup): Hey, just where did Stanley go in such a rush? He sure took off fast.

BUTTERCUP: How should I know? But after he left some hack from a two-bit TV show tried to horn in.

BUBBLES: You mean someone besides Stanley tried to interview you? Big mistake.

BUTTERCUP: Big mistake is right. But I don’t think we’ll be seeing him or his crummy show around here for a while. I saw to that.

CUT TO:

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - NEXT MORNING

We see a small, rectangular room enclosed by glass. Situated in the center is a wooden table. At the head of the table, giving a lecture, is the grayed-haired man. He is repeatedly pounding his fist in frustration. It is Ken Miller, owner and on-air anchorman of Townsville’s renegade tabloid TV show "The Cutting Edge." Seated in front of him are three sharply dressed reporters from the mobile news crews. They are:

Keith Caldwell - After wandering from job to job, Keith had finally found a place of steady employment, no thanks to being Ken’s nephew. Willing to do anything to keep his position, he takes any assignment thrown his way.

Steve Spencer - A former reporter from Channel Eight news in Citysville, Steve sold his integrity for money. The most veteran of the three, he looks down on his less experienced co-workers.

Samantha Duelmer - Blond, perky, and constantly looking in a mirror, Samantha joined "The Cutting Edge" right out of college. She was hired strictly for her looks and for the fact that she would work for next to nothing.

KEN: That line of questioning Keith did yesterday with Buttercup is just the kind of thing I’ve been preaching to you about. If we’re ever going to be shown before midnight, or nationally for that matter, we have to increase our ratings drastically. That’s how we’re going to do it, by playing hardball. It’s cutthroat out there, and the only way we can survive is through the big bucks advertisers pay during prime time.

SAMANTHA (meekly raising her hand): But didn’t last Wednesday’s show improve over the previous weeks’?

KEN: Sure it scored higher, but considering we were still beaten out by a two-year-old infomercial for a combination weed whacker and veggie slicer, it’s not saying much.

STEVE: If one o’clock isn’t working out why don’t we move to the two o’clock?

KEN: Two a.m.! Up against Physic Friends?! You’ve got to be joking?! They’re the king of infomercials!

STEVE (under his breath): Maybe they’ll know how we can get better ratings.

KEN (turning to Steve): I bet they’d know how close you are to being fired. (to everyone) Listen up, from now on we’re going to get in the Powerpuff Girls’ faces, especially Buttercup’s. Then ask the tough questions. Really drive it home. We saw how much of a loose cannon she is. Hit her and hit her hard. What we’re going to do is start trailing her twenty-four hours a day. The next time Buttercup does something newsworthy, and that should be in about five minutes, I want you guys to be right there when it happens. Got it?!

ALL THREE: Got it!

KEN: And Keith, do us all a favor and see a doctor about your nose. It looks like someone glued an eggplant to your face.

KEITH: Yeth thir.

CUT TO:

EXT. MOTEL - LATE AFTERNOON

We see an unflattering profile of the motel. The atmosphere is gloomy with shades of gray and black.

NARRATOR: What a tragedy. The Powerpuff Girls, homeless. How can the they handle such a crisis?

Pan down to the girls laying out by the pool. The sun is shining and the birds are singing.

NARRATOR: Well, it looks like they’re handling it pretty good to me! You go, girls!

BUBBLES: This is the life. No room to clean. No dishes to wash.

BUTTERCUP: You said it. The motel does all the work for us so we can kick back and relax.

BLOSSOM: For once I agree. It’s like a vacation. Besides our house being blown up, the car being smashed, and all of our possessions being destroyed, this isn’t so bad.

BUTTERCUP: This is getting boring. What we need around here is a little action.

Buttercup walks over to the edge of the pool.

BUTTERCUP: Hey guys, watch me do a cannonball.

BUBBLES: I don’t think that’s such a good idea.

BUTTERCUP: What’s a matter? Afraid you might get a little wet?

BLOSSOM: No, it’s just that….

BUTTERCUP (jumping in): Cowabunga!

BLOSSOM: ….the pool is empty.

From overhead we see that Buttercup is laying face down at the bottom of the empty pool. She staggers to her feet and flies erratically back to her sisters.

BUTTERCUP (rubbing her head): You could have warned me you know!

BLOSSOM: Serves you right. You need to learn how to listen.

BUBBLES (laughing): Maybe you need glasses!

BUTTERCUP: That’s it! I’m outta here!

Buttercup heads to their room on the second floor. When she arrives, she sees a man wearing a long-sleeved sweatshirt with the hood pulled tightly over his head disguising his face. The mystery man is trying to jimmy open the door to the Professor’s room.

BUTTERCUP: You picked the wrong room for breaking and entering, sucker! It’s time for fists of steel!

With that, Buttercup swings into action. She smacks the man with a hard punch to the stomach, doubling him over. Leaning over the guard rail, she yells to her sisters below.

BUTTERCUP: Hey you two, get up here. I caught a guy trying to break into the Professor’s room.

By the time Blossom and Bubbles are halfway upstairs, a news crew bursts out of an unmarked van parked across the street. Leading the way is Steve Spencer, who is sprinting at a full gallop.

BUBBLES (just arriving): What happened?

BUTTERCUP: This creep was trying to rob us, but I stopped him dead in his tracks.

BLOSSOM (looking down over the guard rail): Well, I hope you’re ready for another round with the press, because here they are.

BUBBLES: How’d they get here so fast?

BUTTERCUP: It doesn’t matter. Let ‘em come. If it’s a show they want, I’ll give ‘em one. Two can play this game.

Moments later, Steve arrives with his cameraman closely behind.

STEVE (out of breath): This is Steve Spencer of the "Cutting Edge" coming to you from the Acme Motel, where moments ago the Powerpuff Girls thwarted yet another robbery attempt.

BUTTERCUP: Hey buddy, get in nice and close. (She grabs the camera and brings it to within an inch of her face.) The Powerpuff Girls didn’t do it, I did. I saw him. I hit him. I take full credit.

The camera pans away from Buttercup to show the robber beginning to stir on the walkway. She flies over and props up the man.

BUTTERCUP: Townsville, meet public enemy #1.

She pulls back the hood from the man’s head to reveal the Mayor.

BUTTERCUP: Mayor?!

STEVE (breaking out into a toothy grin): You’ve seen it here folks. Mayor Mayor of Townsville has just been apprehended by Buttercup of the Powerpuff Girls. (He sticks a microphone in the Mayor’s face.) Mayor, tell us, why were you breaking into a motel room?

MAYOR: I wasn’t trying to break in. I had a key, see.

The Mayor holds up a key to the camera.

BLOSSOM (from behind Steve): That key says A8. This is B8.

MAYOR: So it is. Heh.

STEVE: But why are you renting a motel room in the first place?

MAYOR: Oh, I came here to meet .…errrrr….uhhhh….wait a minute, this isn’t City Hall. I must have taken a wrong turn to work. Yes, that’s it. A wrong turn.

The Mayor scurries off to a parked taxi that screeches it’s tires as it leaves the parking lot.

Steve turns his attention to Buttercup.

STEVE: Is your assault of the Mayor in any way a result of your pent-up anger from your destroying your house?

BUTTERCUP: What are you talking about? I thought he was robbing the place. The house had nothing to do with….

STEVE (interrupting): You seem to take pride in your victory. But now the Mayor’s spotless reputation that took him years to build has vanished. His career of public service may have come to a close. He could end up in retirement a broken, bitter man. So Buttercup, how do you feel?

BUTTERCUP: Why don’t you ask your friend? He knows.

STEVE (unflinchingly): This is the second time in as many days that you have been the center of unwanted controversy. Our "Cutting Edge" viewers need to know, where will you strike next? Should we live in fear of your unpredictable, erratic, and, dare I say, violent outbursts?

Buttercup crosses her arms and turns beet red with anger.

Pan to the street where, after being alerted by the motel manager, police cars start pulling up to the curb. They are quickly followed by the rest of Townsville’s media. Waving badges and microphones, the two groups make their way to the second floor of the motel. Blossom and Bubbles casually lean against the guard rail as they watch a sea of people bypass them and head directly for Buttercup.

BUBBLES: Buttercup’s not going to like this.

BLOSSOM: I hope she can control herself better than last time.

Steve and Buttercup can be heard arguing somewhere amidst the crowd.

STEVE: You wouldn’t dare!

BUTTERCUP: Don’t think I won’t!

STEVE: You don’t have the guts!

Steve’s words are quickly followed by a loud "crack" and then a dull "thud."

BLOSSOM: Nope, I guess not.

CUT TO:

INT. KEN MILLER’S OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON

Ken is pacing back and forth in front of his desk talking to himself.

KEN: I still have blank air time to fill before tomorrow night’s show and Keith and Steve will both be out for a least two more days. I need Samantha to take over the Powerpuff assignment, but how can I convince her to do it? That woman is deftly afraid of violence. (His eyes light up.) Yes! That’s it! (using the intercom) Vera, get me Samantha.

Moments later, Samantha enters the room. Ken is sitting on the corner of his desk trying to look casual.

SAMANTHA: What’s up, Ken?

KEN: I need you to take over the Buttercup watch.

SAMANTHA: Me! I don’t think so. My face is my career.

KEN: C’mon, she wouldn’t dare hit a woman.

SAMANTHA: Yes, she would!

KEN (temptingly): I’ll give you that raise you’ve been asking for.

SAMANTHA: No!

KEN: An extra week of vacation.

SAMANTHA: Sorry, there’s no way I’m going close to that girl.

KEN: How about a trip to the cosmetic surgeon, on me?

SAMANTHA (raising an eyebrow): Make it two trips.

KEN: It’s a deal. (They shake hands.)

SAMANTHA: I’ll be ready to head out in fifteen minutes.

Samantha leaves the room as Ken starts shaking his head.

KEN: That was easier than I thought. I was willing to go as high as three. (using the intercom) Vera, I have to work late again tonight so I’m taking my usual afternoon nap. If there’s any news at all about the Powerpuff Girls, wake me immediately.

Ken lies on his sofa and drifts asleep. As he starts having a nightmare that he has to do a live, one hour interview with Marcel Marceau, he is awakened by his secretary.

VERA (intercom): Sir. Sir! The Powerpuff Girls are on Channel Five.

Stumbling from the sofa, Ken hits the remote and finds the girls on his set. Channel Five’s Herb Nesman, subbing for Stanley, is on the scene. Ken watches to see if he can spot Samantha in the background with Buttercup.

HERB: This is Herb Nesman live from downtown Townsville. It was here just an hour ago that the Powerpuff Girls were involved in a life or death struggle with the notorious Mojo Jojo. After Mojo’s Robo Jojo was defeated, the beating commenced. I have never seen Buttercup dish out such punishment. It was brutal. On the receiving end of her fury was "Cutting Edge" reporter Samantha Duelmer. As she was being led to the ambulance I was able to get her to say a few words.

The television shows a clip of Samantha being rolled to an ambulance while strapped onto a stretcher. Herb is running along side with a microphone. Behind them is Mojo being led to a squad car. Blossom and Bubbles are having their picture being taken. Buttercup is nowhere to be seen.

SAMAMTHA (bloodied and bruised): This is all your fault, Ken. That girl’s crazy! Crazy, I tell you! And you know what, I told her these interviews were all your idea. You’d better hide, Ken! You’re next! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Back in his office, Ken stares ashen-faced at the television. He quickly runs to the window and closes the blinds. After turning off the lights, he hides under his desk.

KEN (talking to himself): Hold on a minute! This is just what I’ve been waiting for!

Jumping out from his hiding place, he makes a bee-line for the intercom.

KEN: Vera, cancel the rest of my appointments for the day. I don’t want to be disturbed. (to himself) We’ll see who has the last laugh. That girl doesn’t know who she’s up against. Now let’s see, where did I put that first aid kit?

CUT TO:

INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Blossom and Bubbles are sitting at the edge of the bed watching the Fox Network’s latest offering, "Disaster!" Being shown from the third different angle is their house exploding. In the bottom left corner of the video, along with the time and date, are the initials M. J.

BUBBLES: Boy, Mojo wasn’t kidding when he said he had cameras everywhere.

BLOSSOM: I wonder if he got paid for this?

PROFESSOR (outside, knocking on the door): Has Buttercup shown up yet?

Not wanting to upset the Professor, Blossom flies to the TV and turns the channel before opening the door.

BLOSSOM: No, and we’ve searched everywhere.

PROFESSOR: I guess all we can do is wait.

As the Professor turns to leave he sees Buttercup standing behind him.

PROFESSOR: Buttercup, where’ve you been? We’ve been worried sick.

BUTTERCUP (entering the room): There’s nothing to worry about. I just needed to blow off some steam.

BUBBLES: You didn’t go after that guy, Ken what’s-his-name, did you?

BUTTERCUP: No, I didn’t! And that’s all I have to say!

A news promo blares from the television that halts the conversation.

TV ANNOUNCER: Tonight’s top stories on the ten o’clock news:

On screen we see a picture of Stanley Whitfield standing next to an old man wearing overalls and holding a pitchfork.

ANNOUNCER: The search at the old McGruder farm continues for the little girl who is supposedly trapped in an abandoned well. Channel Five’s Stanley Whitfield will give us a live update from this ongoing saga.

The next promo shows a close-up of the Mayor smiling broadly as he holds up a key that has A8 etched into the head.

ANNOUNCER: Mayor Mayor decrees June to be "Support Our Motels Month." He states that he will rent a motel room every weekend to show support for his initiative. If the proclamation turns out to be a success, he claims that it may be extended indefinitely.

The third picture to be shown is an angry Buttercup throwing a punch at a monster who has been cropped out of the photo. A large red circle with a slash going though it has been superimposed over her.

ANNOUNCER: Also, Ken Miller, owner of the struggling tabloid television show "The Cutting Edge," declares Buttercup a public menace and dedicates his program to exposing her sinister personality.

BUTTERCUP: Wha!

BUBBLES: You should have known this was going to happen.

BUTTERCUP: How was I supposed to know?

BLOSSOM: Now the whole team’s image will suffer, not just yours.

BUTTERCUP: You two have nothing to do with this. I’ll take care of it my way during a private session with Mr. Miller.

She pounds her hand with her "fist" making a loud smacking sound.

PROFESSOR: Take it easy. You’re a Powerpuff Girl. The people love you. Let’s not resort to any more violence.

BUTTERCUP: All right, but I don’t know how long I can hold it in.

Pan to a clock on the wall showing that it is 10:00 p.m. The hands start slowly moving forward. They start to pick up the pace and soon are spinning very fast, eventually stopping at 1:00 a.m. Wednesday morning. Panning back to the TV screen we see that the opening segment of "The Cutting Edge" is being shown. Sitting at the anchor desk is a dapperly attired Ken Miller, his arm in a sling and a bandage on his forehead.

KEN: Welcome, Townsville, to a very special edition of "The Cutting Edge." Tonight we will showcase our entire half hour to profiling the dark side of Buttercup of the Powerpuff Girls.

As he speaks, a very unflattering photo of Buttercup is shown. It shows her squinting, as if the sun is shining in her eyes. Prominently displayed in the middle of her forehead is giant, bright red pimple.

Cut back to the girls sitting on the bed. Bubbles and Blossom are doubled over in laughter.

BUTTERCUP (pointing to the screen): Hey, where’d they get that?!

BUBBLES (laughing hysterically): You look like a unicorn!

BLOSSOM (wiping the tears from her eyes): Yeah, maybe you could use your mystical unicorn powers to get yourself out of this mess.

BUTTERCUP: Quit it you guys, this isn’t funny.

Back on the TV, Ken is still speaking.

KEN: All this week we have been hard at work trying to bring you exclusive footage of Buttercup in action. The results of our efforts so far have been three hospitalized reporters with a total of one broken nose, two black eyes, five missing teeth, and escalating medical costs. And, as you can tell by my appearance, even I have not been immune to her violent outbursts. That is why tonight’s spotlight is not on Buttercup’s heroics, but on her seeming disregard for human dignity.

Stunned, Buttercup watches the spectacle open-mouthed. Blossom and Bubbles are no longer laughing.

BUTTERCUP: I don’t know what he’s talking about! I didn’t touch him! I’ve never even seen the guy before!

The TV shows a crowd of onlookers at a street corner staring upwards. Suddenly, they bring their hands up to their faces and begin to scream. Up in the sky, Buttercup is shown hurling a manhole cover discus-style. Back on the ground, the people scatter as the cover slams into the concrete where they once stood.

BUBBLES: That’s not very nice.

BUTTERCUP: It never happened! Honest! He’s messing with the film!

BLOSSOM: Anyone who does this to a Powerpuff Girl has to have ulterior motives. My guess is that he’s desperate to improve his ratings.

BUTTERCUP: He’s trying to ruin me for ratings?! How low can you get?!

BLOSSOM: What really worries me is that if he’s doing this to Buttercup, Bubbles and I might not be far behind. We’ve got to nip this in the bud.

Back on the television we see Samantha sitting in a chair at her home, recreating her encounter with Buttercup. She has two black eyes and a bandage on her chin.

SAMANTHA: There I was, minding my own business, when Buttercup comes up to me and yells "Hey lady, I’ve got a message for your boss." The next thing I know I woke up in the hospital. I can’t remember anything that happened in between, but from what I was told, I was ranting hysterically. It was awful!

As Samantha starts to cry, a shoe flies up and shatters the TV screen.

BLOSSOM: That really helps.

BUTTERCUP: I’m so mad I can’t see straight!

BUBBLES: We need to show him that the Powerpuff Girls are good. I don’t want people to think we’re bad.

BLOSSOM (snapping her "fingers"): I’ve got it! But we have to act fast!

CUT TO:

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT

A jubilant Ken, sans sling and bandage, is standing at the head of an empty conference table. He’s about to start a teleconference with his three injured employees who are recuperating at home. In the middle of the table sits a speaker phone.

KEN: I have good news everyone! We did it! We won our time slot! If we can keep this up for a few more weeks I can jack up our advertising fees! Look out prime time, here we come!

SAMANTHA: A few more weeks! Are you crazy!

KEN: Don’t worry. Once we make it to the big-time we can scrap the Buttercup angle and go back to our regular format. The viewers’ attention spans are so short they can’t even remember what happened yesterday.

KEITH: But there’s only so much stock footage of Buttercup we can doctor. On top of that, we’ve already used up all of our personal sob stories. What are we supposed to show?

KEN: We’re just going to have to suck it up, people. I need you three to get back out there and bring in more footage.

The room is filled with a dead silence.

KEN (frustrated): Look you imbeciles, it doesn’t have to be Buttercup! Make the blond one cry. And the redhead. Use her own ego against her. How hard can that be? Do I have to think of everything myself?!

KEITH (responding quickly): Whatever you say, boss.

STEVE: I’m in thoo, but ith going thoo coth you big thime.

KEN: Would you mind repeating yourself, this time with your teeth in?

STEVE: I said I’m in too, but it’s going to cost you big time.

SAMANTHA: If I get the raise and extra week of vacation you offered earlier, I’ll do it also.

KEN: Agreed. I’ll see you all in here tomorrow morning.

STEVE: Wait a minute! What’s this I hear about a raise and a vacation!

SAMANTHA: He also gave me two free trips to the cosmetic surgeon, didn’t you Ken? By the way, the work the hospital did on my face doesn’t count.

STEVE: Miller, you dirty, two-timing ….

Ken lunges on the table and hits the off switch to the speaker phone. He slumps back into his chair and puts his head in his hands.

KEN: Why does everything have to be so difficult?

VERA (intercom): Turn on the radio, quick. You’ve got to hear this.

KEN (throwing his arms into the air): Now what?

He reaches over and flicks on a radio resting on a small table.

RADIO ANNOUNCER: Townsville, how much Powerpuff can you handle? Every Wednesday night for the next three weeks Channel Five proudly presents its all new, limited series "The Powerpuff Girls." You’ll see our heroes in action as they save the day time and again. One-on-one interviews will give you a unique perspective into the personal lives of our favorite trio. How much do you know about the girls? Take our interactive quiz to test your Puff IQ. That’s "The Powerpuff Girls," a special three part series starting this Wednesday night at nine o’clock, only on Channel Five.

KEN (bolting upright): This has got to be some kind of joke! There’s no way they could have put this together without some type of financial backing!

RADIO ANNOUNCER: The "Powerpuff Girls" are brought to you by Bagel Boy. For the freshest bagels in town try Bagel Boy, a Townsville fixture since 1962.

Ken grabs the radio and throws it against the wall, smashing it to pieces.

KEN: No! They can’t do this to me! (He starts sobbing.) I was so close.

FADE TO BLACK

A series of shots from the girl’s TV specials are shown with typical Powerpuff Girls music playing in the background.

In the first, a very familiar theme is being played as the girls are shown flying in a v-pattern formation. After a rapid montage of the girls defeating a variety of monsters, the music ends with an explosion as the title of the show, "The Powerpuff Girls," appears.

Back in the "Cutting Edge" conference room, Ken is reading a copy of the Townsville Tribune with the headlines: "Powerpuff Special Hailed by Local Critics." In the middle of the page is a sub-headline that states: "Girl safely rescued from well. Stanley Whitfield national hero."

A clip of the second special has Buttercup, in a very congenial mood, sitting in an armchair in front of a fireplace. Callers are phoning in to ask her questions.

BLOSSOM (off camera): Caller, your on the air live with Buttercup.

CALLER: Why don’t you wear something besides green? A nice shade of yellow would be cute. You’d look so adorable.

BUTTERCUP: What kind of stupid question is that?

BLOSSOM (whispering loudly): Remember, be nice.

BUTTERCUP (switching gears): Uhhhh….you know, yellow doesn’t sound to bad. Maybe I’ll give it a try. Thanks for the suggestion caller.

Buttercup forces a smile as her eyes look off to the side, as if hoping to get approval for her response.

Ken is shown pacing in his office. A dart board on the wall has the front page of the Tribune stuck to it with several darts. In bold print is: "Buttercup bashing passe’. Cutting Edge takes it on chin, literally." Below the headlines are pictures of Keith, Steve, and Samantha. They seem to have suffered even more physical abuse with a series of scars and bandages dotting their faces. In small print below the pictures is the caption "We Quit!"

In their third special the girls are watching two police officers handcuff Fuzzy Lumpkins. Behind them is a street littered with debris and twisted metal. The girls nod their heads and, after a whirl of blue, red, and green streaks, the street sparkles as if brand new.

Ken is now sitting at his desk, continually banging his head on the hardwood finish. Zooming in on a newspaper lying to the side, we see headlines stating: "Townsville Loves the Powerpuff Girls. Cutting Edge - Down for the Count."

Backing away, we notice that the paper is now being held by Blossom. On either side of her are Bubbles and Buttercup, eager to get a peek at the article. They are sitting on the living room sofa in their newly rebuilt home.

BLOSSOM: It says here "Tabloid news show, The Cutting Edge, has ceased production due to loss of advertiser revenue. Edge head honcho, Ken Miller, is being forced to sell his personal assets in order to offset a spiraling debt accrued when he tried to compete for Townville’s public opinion concerning the Powerpuff Girls."

BUTTERCUP: Who cares about him? What does it say about us.

BLOSSOM: Hold on. I’m getting there. (She scans the article.) Here we go. "The Powerpuff Girls specials were Townsville’s most highly rated programs of the month. The locally broadcast mini-series had captured the televisions of an astounding 92% of eligible viewers. Network executives are said to be scrambling to see who can be the first to sign the girls to star in a weekly, nationally televised show based on their adventures."

Blossom lowers the paper and all three girls stare ahead with blank looks on their faces. Bubbles is the first to break the silence.

BUBBLES: Our own TV show! Wow! Millions of people will watch us!

BUTTERCUP: We’ll be famous! Our faces will be everywhere!

BLOSSOM: People from all around the world will come together to talk about our exploits!

They turn to one another smiling broadly, then all three simultaneously begin to giggle.

ALL THREE: Nah!

BLOSSOM: Who are we kidding?!

Blossom throws the paper over her shoulder as the girls begin to giggle once again.

NARRATOR: A Powerpuff Girls show? Who would be crazy enough to watch a bunch of five year old girls fighting crime every week? That’s kiddy stuff! What are those network bigwigs thinking? Sheesh!

The hearts logo appears as do the girls in their usual closing pose.

NARRATOR: So once again the day is saved…. thanks to….the Powerpuff Girls!