1-30-2001
Since that beginning episode with Earl and the others, much has happened. A garden gnome who likes to think he's Freddie Mercury has appeared and sings many Queen songs to me. I just call him Freddie. Gay Lloyd noticed Freddie all alone in the sand and planted a garden of flowering cacti around him. Freddie is quite glad. Pee Wee Herman visits occasionally to torment me, accompanied by Mr. Happy Broken Beer Bottle, or Spongebob Squarepants, or both. They sing, dance, and say really stupid shit. The other day my dad and I were discussing sand dunes, so a sand dune popped up in my head, off in the distance. Pee Wee Herman plays on it sometimes. A friend of mine named Craig pops in occasionally to see what's going on and to tell me how interesting my head is.
2-5-01
I crucified Eminem because he kept rapping and it was getting annoying. Gay Lloyd raped him and Marilyn Manson poked him with a red hot poker and branded him. Marilyn Manson seems to like poking people. I left Eminem there for a while until amazingly he started rapping again and Megan dropped a meteor on him. My sand is red now.
Shortly afterward a gigantic spoon fell out of the sky. I had to steer it away from Freddie. Pee Wee Herman and the crazy guy with the 6 coats (we named him Fred) have been under there for a day or two...
2-10-01?
A giant black, hairy spider many times bigger than Pee Wee Herman showed up, Pee Wee and Fred (the crazy guy) killed it with the spoon.
Then when I was listening to classical music, the flowering cacti got up and danced around Freddie. Then light beams started shooting out of them. Then their entire exterior shattered and they were like cactus shaped bright white light bulbs. They continued dancing, the light changing colors and swirling. I decided to grant Freddie full gnome-hood. He danced with the cacti.
3-30-01
I was on the phone with Megan, which prompts many outbursts from the people in my head. This time that red hairy monster thing from the Bugs Bunny cartoons ran into my head (directly from hers) with a butcher knife. He chased Pee Wee Herman, who ran away gleefully, laughing all the way. The sun from Teletubbies was in the sky. It was gleeful too. Earl became violently insane and was about to go on a killing rampage, so I quickly nailed him to a cactus. However he will not die, for he has been with me from the beginning and we've become attached to each other. I plan on being his psychiatrist for a while until I can figure out why he snapped...actually it may have been neglect on my part...
4-4-01
A couple days ago I realized Earl was still nailed to that cactus, and I had completely forgotten about it. He was acting completely normal and had no memory of going nuts. So um...I let him go. Gay Lloyd came in from Megan's head to get him. I have no idea where they've been since then.
11-3-01
I haven't written any happenings of my head in here for a while. Stuff has happened, I just haven't recorded it. Bad llama. Anyway, the other day at Sam's house Andrea and Sam and I were watching TV and I was thinking about Dir en grey and suddenly Kyo and Toshiya appeared in my head. They were under the spoon. I didn't know what they were doing, I just knew they were under the spoon. So I looked under the spoon and Kyo was fucking Toshiya with chocolate syrup as a lubricant. Damn those fanfics. So anyway...I fingured the sand wasn't a good place to do that, so I materialized a blanket underneath them. Then I noticed the blanket was made of wool, which wouldn't do, wool is scratchy. So I materialized another blanket on top of that one and this time my brain came up with a red and white checked picnic blanket. I rolled my eyes and laughed at the irony. Suddenly out of nowhere a bunch of Hellraiser chains shot out of the sand and chained down Toshiya while Kyo fucked him. It was very appealing.
Today I was sitting at the computer and I had a headache so I said to myself "Why does my head hurt?" Morpheus appeared in my head and said "You've never used it before." "Fuck you Morpheus! Get out!!!"
1-8-03
I close my eyes and see man in a small bare room strapped down to a chair and gagged. He stares up at me in extreme fear. I open my eyes.
