Little Nicky riding Hood
(if any of you have been to wetfiles, you'll know I'm using monicas way of writing stories of them based on a fairy tale, sorry if anyone is offended it's just for fun... If you happen to be westlife, fat chance i know... Please either don't read on or laugh and be unaffected in anyway... To the story)
Little Nicky ridding hood lived in a nice big house with his beautiful and oh so hot mother.. ahem.. Andiee. And one day Andiee wanted little Nicky to--
Bryan: Why do I have to be the grandma?? Why can't I be the wolf??
Kian: Because I'm the wolf
Andiee: alright alright don't get your knickers in a bunch.
Bryan: Does that mean I get to be the wolf?!
Andiee: No. You don't have enough wolf like qualities (matter of factly)
Kian:(worriedly) Are you saying I'm hairy?
Andiee: Uh.. No. You just have more animal magnetism
Bryan: Are you saying I'm not sexy?
Andiee: Can we please focus here! Bryan Your Grandma Bob, Kian Your wolfman jack.
Bryan: Bob?
Kian: Jack?
Andiee: I was being figurative. Get back to your places
Bryan: So I'm not Bob?
Andiee: No!
Anyway back to the story, lousy actors... oh wait i'm writing this... well the story
Ah yes-- Andiee wanted little Nicky to bring his grandmother a goodieful basket. Nicky who was playing nintendo in a cape and hood looked up angrily.
Nicky: What the hell do you Want?
Andiee: Is that how you talk to your real mother?! Cause if it was I'd spit on you. Get your ass up off the floor take this freakin' basket and go see the old coot they call your grandmother! And you will enjo--
Bryan: I'm not old!
Andiee: Get lost!
Bryan:oops
Andiee: Anyway where was i?
Nicky: I'll enjoy something or whatever
Andiee: Oh yes You will enjoy it
Nicky: (muttering)Fat chance
Andiee: What was that?
Nicky: Uh.. You're so beautiful Mother dear I love you.
Andiee: Oh you sweet boy. Now get your blonde ass out of my house and take these to your grams.
Nicky: you don't have to bitch. I need 50 bucks for the train.
Andiee: (pointing at door) Out!
So Nicky was on his not so merry way. Nicky whose mother had severely warned him many times about not going in the woods took a quick look around and rushed into the woods.
Nicky: That'll show her.
Nicky was skipping through the woods when a foot suddenly shot out and he fell to the ground.
Nicky: (whining) The wolf doesn't trip me! The wolf doesn't trip me.
Andiee: (whispers) Too bad Get on with it!
Nicky: (eyes filling with tears) But he.
Kian: I tripped you get over it kid. This here is my sly partner foxy Mark.
Mark: Got that right.
Kian: So little Caped man where you going with those... goodies?
Little Nicky who knew better than to talk to strangers was still rather... miffed at his mother. So he said to the wolf
Nicky: My damn wiener mother sent me, to my grand hags.
Mark: Is that anyway to talk about the love of my-- your mother
Nicky: what did you say, are you hitting on my mother when she's not here to defend herself? I'm gonna kick your---
Kian: All right guys enough about Andiee. I'm sure ,little Nicky is it?
Nicky: Yeah (warily)
Kian: Your grandmother would really like a pack of ciggarettes. There's a tabaky(tobaco in a weird way) field back there why don't ya pick her some.
Nicky who was a smoker himself thought SCORE!
Nicky: Dude cool.
So Nicky was on his way to pick some tobaco. Kian and Mark ran to his grandmothers.
Bryan: I hate this gig
There came a knock at the door
Bryan; Who is it?
Kian: The wo--
Mark: Shut up.
Bryan: The woshutup? What the hell is that? Ha some wolf guess Andiee really doesn't know what she's talking about. I am too sexy look at me in all sexyful glory! (in grandma suit)
Mark: What the hell is the old coot going on about?
Bryan: I am not old! I am 20 @#$*in' years old!
Kian: You just keep telling your self that grandma
Bryan: Who are you anyway! What do you wanna do with your life.
Kian: I'm the milkman. I wanna shove you in the closet and pretend to be you because I'm a cross dresser. But not for real only in the story, I'm not like some sort of cross dressing freak.
Bryan: Oh crap it's the wolf! I'll be safe in the closet. (Lifting up his dress and running into the closet, closes door.) Oh shit. I just locked myself in the closet.
Mark and Kian Broke down the door-- Broke down the door! That prop was expensive you guys are sooo paying for that.
Kian: Way to go mark, it wasn't even locked.
Mark: So where's the grand hag
Bryan( From closet) : I heard that you weasel!
Mark: Hey I'm a fox, Foxy Mark.
Kian: Get over yourself and get in the dress, The kids comming.
Mark: I'm not getting in the dress i thought you were getting in the dress
Andiee: You're right Mark he is getting in the dress.
Kian: But why--
Andiee: Hurry up Nicky's comming!
So Kian was forced to assert his femmininty
Kian: I am not feminine. I'm manly. All man.
Andiee: Whatever you got the dress on you in the bed. You under it!
So they did as they were told. And Nicky came a trottin in with as much tobaco as he could carry. He tossed the stuff and walked up to his "grandma".
Nicky: Hey grandma did grow some more facial hair?
Bryan: What's he talkin' about?! lousy kid! I don't have facial hair and he just waltzes in no knock. Hello? What if I was busy?!
Andiee: Now I"m intrested, busy doing what *hint* *hint*
Bryan: Hello We're in the middle of a scene
Andiee: Sorry!
Nicky: Hey grams did you here something, say in the vicinity of the closet?
Kian: (panicked) No uh I didn't hear anything you must be going deaf.
Mark (from under bed): Shutup your gonna blow it..
Nicky: Grandma did your butt just talk-- No never mind I don't wanna know. Grandma What big yadda yadda everyone knows this part get to the chasin.
Kian and Mark Leapt from the bed and chased nicky around the room
Kian: Mmmm Kid You"re gonna taste just like KFC mmm mmm good! Meanwhile a devilishly, extremely almost unbearably handsome if somewhat nosy woodcutter by the name of Shane 'Sexy' Filan heard The screams of a little girl rushed to the scene... The view he was greeted with was quite a weird view: A young boy was was being held by 2 hairy men.
Mark: We're a Foxy Fox and a wolf!
Okay a foxy fox and a wolf held the damn wiener kid-- no more complaints you are what you are and you are what you is.
Shane: Unhand him fiends!
Kian: Are you--
Andiee: Nicky you forgot your-- (seeing shane) Hello What do we have here.
Shane: Stand back ma'am. I shall rescue your boy child.
Andiee: No need stories over
Nicky: Finally!
Kian : But No one got kil--
Andiee: You will not use that word in my story! It's non-violent. Now everyone but the wood cutter out
Everyone but the woodcutter: But!
Andiee: No buts now leave.
And so everyone but the woodcutter and bryan who was still in the closet left
Bryan: Hello? Is the story over? Let me out? I think there's racoons in the walls... Help... Please?...Someone
The End
Bryan: That's it? your just gonna leave me here? have you no mercy??
Andiee: Sorry Bry, I'll let you out when wer're done..
Bryan: Done what? Oh no... please no...
