JULY 2003
Nick wasn’t sure where he was, or really even of where he was going because he’d long ago thrown out the map.
He'd tossed it, along with his cell phone, out the window somewhere on his way through Ohio. It made him smile, watching from the rearview mirror the tiny phone smashing into a million pieces all over the blacktop as the map fluttered to the ground beside it.
And while it felt strange to not have the constant ringing as call after call came in from his Mom, brothers and sisters, friends and the guys, it also felt good for once in his life to just be anonymous.
Turning up the volume on the radio he could get nothing but static, static, more static and a station that had a farm report.
Laughing at the seriousness in the reporter’s voice as he discussed pigs, poultry and grain he reached for the glove box and pulled out two CD’s.
Popping open the first CD it was a demo of some of the songs he and the guys had been working on for the next Backstreet Boys CD.
The cuts were rough and many acoustical and Nick believed it was some of the best work they had ever done as a group. He especially liked the ones where the five of them did tight harmony, their voices almost meshing together like one incredible voice. It reminded him so much of the old days, before the fame and the first CD. Before anybody knew their names or faces. Before life seemed to get in the way of the music.
Humming along with the second cut he smiled at the banter in the background while Howie sang his part. A.J. was going off with his “Yo mama” jokes on Brian and Brian was actually playing along. The mood was light and when Nick stepped up to the mic and joined his voice with Howie you could hear Kevin laughing about the fact that Nick’s fly was open.
Before Nick hit the road there had been a final meeting with the band and management. For once it had been pleasant and stress free and the guys had actually been open to Nick’s suggestion of releasing some of the songs stripped down and raw. He wanted it to have the feel of their old Unplugged concert and miraculously everyone had agreed.
Nick had given them all big bear hugs when he stood up to leave. Making them promise that if they didn’t see him again they would stick to their word of releasing the CD complete with promotion and a tour. The whole nine yards.
They were optimistic that he would return and reluctant to go on with the CD if he didn’t. But in the end Nick had pushed hard for what he wanted and won.
And a promise was a promise.
Looking out towards the West Nick noticed that the sun had begun to set.
Turning off the radio he pulled the car off to a rest stop by the side of the road and killed the engine.
The sky was streaked in brilliant shades of gold and lavender. Colors Nick had long ago left in a crayon box in the bedroom that he had shared with his sister as a child.
God, it was so beautiful. He had missed too many sunsets in his life. They always seemed to occur while he was on a stage doing a sound check for a concert, or in the corner or some bar drinking with some buddies, or asleep on a tour bus whizzing through middle America. In his twenty-three years he had never sat still long enough to watch the colors of day mesh into night.
Getting out the of convertible he put the top up and locked both sides and then climbed back in the car, settling back in the soft leather seat. He decided that instead of spending the night in some hotel room he wanted to spend the night here, parked at a rest stop off of some deserted stretch of road in the middle of nowhere with only the stars and moon for comfort and company.
* * *
Kara woke up with her alarm, trying to figure out if the Bon Jovi song on the radio was new or old? They all sounded the same to her.
Throwing back the covers she grabbed at her head and winced. She’d had way too many drinks last night at her best friend’s wild bachorlette party, half of which she didn’t even remember. Let’s see there had been food and drinks and at some point a cheesy looking guy in a cop uniform walking in the room with a boom box in his hand…
Reaching for the water bottle by the side of the bed she took two swings and then poured the rest over her throbbing head.
“Oh my God,” she moaned a flashback of the evening filling her brain. “Did I actually dance with the guy on the coffeetable?” Standing up she dropped the empty plastic bottle to the bed and headed to the bathroom for a hot shower.
* * *
An hour later she was showered and dressed, a cup of coffee in her hand as she slipped into her car and headed for The Farmers Market just outside of town. She had worked the Market every year from the time she was a child. Just her, her sister, her parents and her Grandparents side by side in the blazing summer sun selling the wonderful fruits and vegetables from her grandparents farm.
Backing down the driveway she flipped on the radio and sighed.
“Grandma I just don’t think I can do it.” Kara held the phone tightly in her hand, her bottom lip trembling.
“Kara we need you. And it would be good for us to be together as a family.”
“We’re not a family without Mom and Dad. It just won’t be the same.”
“They wouldn’t want you to stop doing the things you enjoy because they aren’t here to share them with you Kara. You have to keep living.”
Her parents had been killed in a car crash only five months before and she was still suffering. Which probably explained the drinking last night and the dancing and her reluctance to sell at the Market with her family this year. The phone call from her Grandma two weeks before had left her feeling sad and empty and missing her parents more than ever.
“Say you’ll come Kara. Say you’ll carry on their traditions.” Her Grandmothers voice shook with age and sorrow and Kara found that she couldn’t say no.
“Fine, I’ll come.” Kara twisted the phone cord around her finger until it was turning blue. “I’ll come.” She repeated again, more to convince herself then her Grandmother.
“You’ll come? Oh Baby it will make Grandpa and I so happy……..”
“As long as someone is happy.” Kara said outloud turning left onto the frontage road.
* * *
Nick woke up with a kink in his neck and a headache that couldn’t be cured with Tylenol. Rubbing his eyes he tried to figure out where the hell he was and why he was so uncomfortable. As he shifted to the left his arms getting tangled in the steering wheel of the car he quickly figured out he was in his rented red Mustang convertible, parked at a rest stop staring at nothing but land and sky.
Popping open the door of the car he unfolded his long legs and climbed out, the smell of grass and horse manure assaulting his senses.
“Holy Jesus.” He groaned grabbing at his stomach that rolled from the stench in the air and from no dinner the night before. Popping open the trunk he rifled around looking through the dufflebags he had packed as well as the cooler. He had never taken a road trip before and had not been prepared for how hungry driving would make him. Looking through the cooler now all he had left was a half-empty chocolate Chug, and a bag of chips. Pulling out both he swigged from the Chug and stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth to quiet his growling stomach. Shutting the trunk of the car he paused and looked around.
He wondered which way to town? Or if there was a town? He needed some food and gas for the car and maybe some conversation.
“Let me come with you.” Brian leaned against the table in the conference room, casual and in control like only Brian could be.
“Yeah, like Leighanne would let you come with me.” Nick laughed picking up his folder with the current legal papers and contract they had just finished going over with management.
“She’s not the boss of me.” Brian said with a smirk on his face.
“Yes she is!” Nick laughed the folder falling from his grip.
“I’ll get it.” Brian lunged forward, stooping to get the folder.
“You don’t have to treat me like that.” Standing up the folder in his hand Brian handed it to Nick with a weak smile.
“Like what?” Brian’s eyes shifted around the room before settling back on Nick.
“Like I’m already dead or something.” Brian laughed, shrugging off Nick’s comment.
“Nick, why don’t you just let me come with you. We’ll rent a car, stay in some funky motels. It’ll be fun.”
“Look Bro, you got a wife and a new baby to take care of. And besides I just want to be alone.” Following Nick to the door Brian slapped him lightly on the back.
“Okay, that’s okay. We’ll just plan on doing something together when you get back.”
“Yeah,” Nick laughed a little running a hand through his hair “When I get back……..”
Setting the chips and drink on the passenger seat Nick unlatched the convertible top and pulled it back pushing it into place and then climbed back in the car. It was a beautiful summer day and he was going to make the most of it, alone or not. Turning on the radio he hit the play button on the CD and pulled out onto the long deserted road.