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TOP STORY Member accused of calling another Christian, 'Brother'
Visitor interrupts noon lunch
Bishops pause and consider how to deal with golf playing member during a deer hunting expedition
New member now cleansed from former unclean baptism
Sunday School superintendent let's young girl know she's evil
Newly installed minister just what congregation ordered

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The foyer

Witnesses said the visitor was embarrassed and so humiliated they sort of wobbled away with rubber-like legs toward the front end of the dining room. No one seemed to watch after the stranger walked into the foyer between the dining area and sanctuary. However, sister Mary Mckinsey said she saw an unfamiliar person leave the grounds shortly after the incident.

"I was two seats away and couldn't believe someone would just go and sit right on the bishopric's stool," said deacon brother Gilbert Redding. "Why would anyone presume to act on their own initiative and just sit at the most convenient place?" A minister who wished to remain anonymous for fear of reprisal said, "Well, after morning service everyone was invited to join in noon lunch by the Bishopric. We cannot expect a visitor to know all our seating traditions like gender separation, separation by age, as well as status and popularity positioning. But I have to admit it was strange that the visitor left just because there were no empty places. We do have a second seating!"

In the church's defense, the much venerated retired titular archbishopric Emil Runnurb remarked, "Our customary seating arrangements have developed carefully over generations. It is not often that an outsider comes to visit our church so instructions are not deemed necessary for seating and proper placement. Besides with so many people moving forward to the dining area and sitting in their normal fashion you wonder why the stranger just didn't ask someone." [human see, human do]

Right before the prayer when everyone was anticipating ham sandwiches on rolls and donuts with coffee, milk, or tea, members suddenly saw a commotion at the section where the active and retired clergy sit. "I could not figure out what was happening," said serving single sister Sarah Servant. "Then this stranger gets up and sort of moves about in confusion for a moment and heads for the doors! They didn't even stay for lunch and missed out on some good sandwiches.... who was that anyway??" noon fellowship hour

Upon hearing the shot go past his ears Cliff instinctively ducked but quickly composed himself and engaged in the passion of the moment by offering a "whoa" then started to run toward the others in his party.

"Just when I started running something made me stop right there," said Cliff. "I was reminded that the day was Wednesday and brother Ted was probably out playing golf. I shuddered at the thought and felt convicted in my heart to express my concern to the brothers at this time."

Bill recalls the situation. "I was becoming impatient after hours of waiting then suddenly I saw the most incredible buck of my life and was extremely excited. He was polishing his rack on a sapling. Just witnessing him flail the small tree and proudly lift his head as if surveying his domain was spectacular. I prayed that he would continue toward me. I tried to calm down, to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. I knew I needed to shoot it before the brothers gently driving it toward me came into the crossfire. I could not move and was fighting off an adrenaline rush. Suddenly primordial instinct took over and everything became as clear as an unmuddied lake. I took the shot but missed. The deer jumped forward and slowly trotted away as if he were daring me to try again. I fired again and hit him causing him to stumble forward, his rear legs lifting into the air as he somersaulted forward on his neck and head."

Bill, still being somewhat excited while explaining, took his right arm and moved it in an arch showing the way the bucks hind legs flipped over.

"I screamed with delight," said Bill. "The other brothers were running toward the deer, yelling, jumping, and raising their arms with excitement and envy as it was obvious my kill was going to be the prize of the season. I was elated! I just sat down in my stand and thanked God for such a great morning."

As the group gathered round the ten point buck estimating his weight at well over 200 pounds, brother Cliff walked up with an expression of burden on his face. Everyone recognized this and became quiet. He said he had been pondering his next move against brother Ted for playing golf every Wednesday.

Cliff related how Ted was pensive about causing offense but could not understand how golf was spiritually or physically dangerous. Cliff shared how Ted confessed to playing once a week for a few hours and believed his health was improving because he was outside and doing something active yet serene. Ted was also said to have made several friends on the golf course who enjoyed listening to Ted speak about his faith in Christ.

Cliff explained to the others how he reminded Ted that by participating in sports it could arouse and stimulate the flesh to attitudes and actions of pride, anger, impatience, dishonesty, revelry, etc. Ted became quite apprehensive when Cliff told Ted he could cause offense to a weaker brother and may cause his brethren to stumble.

"The reason I have so much concern for brother Ted," said Cliff, "is because of his weak heart. He could have another heart attack out there if he is excited too much. That makes the recreation dangerous for him, not to mention he may be injured by a stray ball."

Cliff assured Ted that he would receive a great blessing and his anxiety about causing offense would surely leave when he submits to church counsel. He also reminded Ted that submission involves obeying the authority even when one does not agree.

The Group spent several minutes discussing various mandates to consider since other members have been known to participate in diverse sports activities. They were very receptive to Cliff's concern since all regard him the No.1 outdoors teacher and one of the most skilled and responsible hunters there is. He leads by example and was dubbed "team captain" by the hunting party years ago.

"We sincerely sought revelation on how to deal with this situation and could feel the unity of spirit-led deliberations among us as we stood around this magnificent beast in a quiet moment of reflection," said highly respected bishopric Romp Stomper. "An array of emotions struck me, including honor and joy mixed with a sense of humility for being able to share in the conquest of the creature."

"What came to light in those few minutes was more than many ever realize in a lifetime of outdoor activities," continued Romp. "The buck was radiating the perfection of order, the beams were thick, the rack was flawless, each tine was an identical match to the corresponding one on the opposite beam. Even the brow tines were proper. I could not stop thinking about proper order. I imagined him running, walking, rutting and feeding. I thought of the great significance of his role in nature and the overwhelming significance of mine. Shooting the buck was not about vanity or self-importance. We were demonstrating our roles in the natural order of creation.At that moment I felt the significance of our role just as strongly as I did when I first became bishopric. I was overwhelmed to share in this euphoric activity with my fellow bishops. To be reminded of our distinction in nature and it's similitude to the spiritual care of our own little lambs and sheep just bring a tear to my eye."Although brother Romp was a spectator and not a participant in the hunting expedition all were grateful to have him with the team because of his depth of insight since this topic came up.

Bishopric Romp Stomper will also be going along with the team as they plan to consider these things further during a long planned and very anticipated fishing trip next month in brother Bill Overdue's new boat.

Also read: A Race for Salvation

Said Dipper, "Gabe is happier than ever that he has undergone an additional baptism into our blessed fold."

During the afternoon service Dipper, wielding his whet tongue like a sword, magnificently communed and encouraged the congregation with smooth speeches supporting the custom.

He also justified the tradition saying, "In many Christian churches confession and baptism are somewhat different than in our faith. We confess to Man and God and have a proving before we are taken into the body of believers. We feel that it is beneficial to the faith if someone, even if they have already been baptized, comes in and the body has no testimony of a proper conversion experience."

Witnesses at Gabe's re-baptism

When interviewed just after Gabe was rebaptized local deacon Hal Hipikritte said, "Rebaptism for me would be a display of open shame, rather than a testimony, to the work of Christ. As it was, I came from the sister church and was only asked to give my testimony. If they requested that I submit to another baptism I would have surely refused. Even our founder, Samuel Frohlich, refused to be rebaptized by immersion although he was only baptized by sprinkling. He knew the scripture, one Lord, one faith, one baptism and he knew he had just one true and one sincere conversion. I knew if Gabe submitted to another baptism it would prove we did the right thing, since no one would allow himself to be rebaptized if he truly underwent a proper conversion the first time. I am honored to be a part of his initiation into our blessed faith."

A nearby Bishop upon hearing Hal offered corresponding words, "We have come across the situation numerous times. We have seen those brought into the faith with and without baptism. Those not from the sister church always lacked some crucial thing in their conversion process, whether it be open confession, laying on of hands, etc. When a person joins from the sister church it is known that their tradition is the same, and not baptized again. When someone joins from a different denomination, they are given the opportunity to be baptized in the same way. We have found that without rebaptism the new members tend to feel they are not close members of the brotherhood of believers."

As the bishop started to leave he turned back and offered these last words, "Another thing, why would they become part of our fellowship if they have already found salvation? It is obvious they see our faith as having something theirs did not have."

At first Gabe had some serious second thoughts about submitting to another baptism but he was convinced and comforted by the adept counsel of the area bishops who have had multitudes of experience with this kind of situation. Gabe said, "They provided me with a carefully written paper containing a verse in the bible supporting rebaptism and convinced me with good words and fair speeches." We have provided the paper, below, given to Gabe and are pleased to share it with you.

This tension had been occurring for some time until Sister Eunice who teaches the class eventually informed the superintendent of the problems she was having with Brandy. "Brandy was always asking difficult questions," said Eunice. "I finally had it when Brandy asked regarding chapter five in Romans, "Since everyone will go to hell because of Adam's sin this should mean everyone will go to heaven because Christ died for all." Eunice informed her that she misunderstood the verse and although Christ provided atonement for man there will still be those who are unrepentant and therefore unsaved.

Brandy then remarked, "But everyone had to take Adam's sin. Nobody had a choice; everyone has to share. So if Jesus is stronger than Adam shouldn't everyone share in Jesus work too? Shouldn't everyone share in heaven?" Then Brandy pointed to First Corinthians, chapter fifteen, verse twenty-two that she said she found in a concordance. She read it to Eunice in front of the class, "For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive." Brandy also noted that she could not find the term "unsaved" in the concordance that her teacher affirmed was true.

"At this point I told Superintendent Rich what was happening," said Eunice. "I expressed to him that I was sore displeased by her words and had to wonder how such evil can come out of the mouth of a babe, especially since God reveals things only to the wise and prudent." The very next Sunday Rich sat in Brandy's class and explained to the children that even though Christ had died for men many will not share in the hope of eternal life because they do not repent and take the gift of salvation. Brandy then told Rich, "Jesus is stronger than death and God is stronger than the devil. Isn't that true?" Rich said, "Yes dear Brandy, I agree." Then Brandy said, "Well, God said he wills all men to be saved in First Timothy, chapter two, verse four. So if people go to hell it will be against God's will, and the devil wins."

Rich then told Brandy to read cautiously because she will not understand the bible unless it is with the guidance of church counsel and because, "she is unconverted and too young." Brandy continued reading Timothy and said, "Jesus gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time." Then she said, "That's what I read. What does 'in due time' mean? Does it mean maybe you don't understand salvation yet?" Rich firmly told Brandy, "YOU do not understand the process of salvation because YOU are unrepentant and full of evil and YOU must be converted before YOU can realize the truth of the Gospel." Brandy then ran out of Sunday school crying, "The Gospel means 'Good News' and you are speaking bad news and I AM GOING TO BE WITH JESUS!"

Sources report Brandy no longer comes to Sunday school and has not been seen in church since. Rich was later quoted as saying, "It is better that she is no longer with us because if she were to continue questioning our well-thought-out and long-held-beliefs it might cause one of these little ones to stumble. God forbid that to occur."

Said area bishopric brother Jack Attack, "We would be more lenient toward Jon but his refusal to submit to our spirit led guidance and authority in this serious matter forces us to take immediate action in an attempt to quell this inappropriate and offensive designation for non-members before others can question our practice and be led astray by confusion."

Supporting bishop brother Diligent Search added, "We have a policy that any non-member, believer or not, is to be referred to as a 'friend of the faith.' Those other believers are generally not like-minded with us in practice and tend be somewhat nominal in in their walk with the Lord"

Sources relate how this occurred when Jon invited some members to his home for a singing. After the singing everyone was standing or sitting around enjoying fellowship with some tasty finger foods Jon's wife prepared during the day. Then one of Jon's friends comes to the door. Jon hugged him, let him in and they disappeared into the bedroom for a moment. When his friend left Jon was said to say, "I love you brother."

Brother Joshua Overhear said, "I heard him with my own ears and thought to myself; is this some brother from another one of our churches I am not familiar with? So I asked Jon who he was. Jon told me he is was a longtime Christian friend who attends another church. I was stunned to hear him refer to that guy as a brother so I did not ask any more questions. I did begin to tell others what I heard though."

Brother Jack and a couple other bishops engaged in a concerted effort quietly visiting with Jon for many months asking him to further explain his actions and to "hear his views." They went out of their way to visit Jon at his workplace, at his home in the evening, or any time of day and night most convenient for the bishops.

"During this time we felt it was important to conduct an inquiry into brother Jon's private life, to search out his action in word, association and deed. We performed visitations with other members concerning Jon and we tactfully brought his name up during spontaneous visits with friends and family to see what information could be gathered," said brother Diligent.

Brother Jack commented, "Jon told us he always referred to his friend as a brother in the Lord and that his friend was instrumental in convincing Jon to repent."

Jon was told in various manners that it is the church's custom not to refer to another believer as a brother. Jon was reminded that submission to spiritual authority brings a "promise of liberty" to all who obey. Likewise, Jon was reminded that it was the church's position to teach and encourage it's membership to avoid any and all associations with other believers. After thinking about these things carefully, Jon apologetically expressed that while he was sympathetic to the conviction he did not feel he could in good conscience concur with this "beloved" tradition. [Who told you to think?]

Jon had hoped to continue in dialogue with the bishops and pleaded with them but the bishops were already convinced of the next proper step. As one bishop put it, "I think the best thing we can do for brother Jon at this point is to wholeheartedly pray for him. I will try to remain faithful in that purpose."

Jon's insistence that he could find no valid historical scriptural support for such a tradition led the bishopric to firmly remind everyone of proper church order in this written statement:

Portion of Response of Bishopric

The bishopric also had many other great swelling words and concluded with, "Jon is in serious error by insinuating these traditions are to be compared with rules based on the rudiments of the world system referred to in Colossians chapter two. That is a gross misunderstanding and we must quickly deal with this. Jon, by continuing to engage in the practice of referring to other non-members as brethren is sowing seeds of discord and division among the brethren."

It is hoped that a firm loving hand of discipline will bring brother Jon back into good graces with the rest of the fold and that this procedure will produce the fruit of repentance redirecting his misguided and confused steps in his quest for truth.