Q: Why did Britney get so excited after she finished a jigsaw puzzle in only a couple of months?
A: Because on the box it said "from 2-4 years."

Q:What's the difference between Britney and the Titanic?
A:Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.

Britney was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she returned. Her mother had never seen Britney looking so sad.

Her mom said, "Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay, but you look so sad. Why?"

Britney replied, "Because I just can't get a man."

Her mom said, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of the woods."

"Don't be so silly," Britney said. "I know that. I went in the woods because I needed something there that would get me a man. But I couldn't find it."

Her mom said, "I don't understand what you're talking about."

Britney replied, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls. I took some dead mice and a bird cage."

"So, how's that gonna help you get a man?" asked her mom.

Britney said, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have a good pair of hooters."

Q:What does Britney have in common with the United States Army?
A:They're both open to any man between the ages of eighteen and thirty-five.

Q:What is Britney's ambition in life?
A:To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Justin gets a call from his girlfriend, Britney. "I've got a problem," says Britney.

"Yo, whats the matter ho?" asks Justin.

"Well, I've like bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard~! None of the pieces fit together and I can't like find any edges," she tells him.

"Yo bitch what's the picture be of?" asks Justin.

"It's like a big Rooster," replies Britney.

"Damnit bitch," says Justin, "I'll come over and check out dat shit."

So he goes over to Britney's house and she shows him the jigsaw on the kitchen table. Justin looks at the jigsaw and then turns to Brintey and says, "You stupid bitch- put the Cornflakes back in the Box!"

Q:Why did Britney have tire tread marks on her back?
A:From crawling across the street when the sign said "don't walk."

Q:What's Britney's favorite nursery rhyme?
A:Humpme Dumpme.