Nicknames: JC(Jesus Christ??? He must have a WACO complex), Fashion Don't, Fashion Misfit, Fashion Vitcim...all interchangeable.
Appearance: Homeboy needs to take himself and Joey to get a nose job...how can they see the fans(i.e. Morons)past that thing? His clothes...please God give me strength...blow major ass. I've got one small question in the Disney Concert...WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT HAIRY THING HE WAS WEARING??? That boy must be color blind or something but my money's on plain dumb(he's a few fries short a Happy Meal).
Occupation: Sings a few terrible leads(When Chris is back-up hold those ears tight cause JC & Chris=harmonize handicapped
)
Hobbies: He's the liquor man of the group...a few shots and homeboy is really for action. He heads down to the local grocery store to preach... "Sinners you must repent now!" then he get his crazy, deranged ass thrown out where he finds a 2 dollar hooker named Lance and they go back to his compound were he shows Lance his assult weapon...if ya know what I mean.
My Problem with Him: He's a crazy psychopath who has a big ass nose, but I bet that thing comes in handy when he snorts his cocain.
In Ten Years From Now: JC will be preaching to a few hundred stupid people who think the end of the world is near. Of course he'll still be drinking down a storm, having unprotective sex with 14 yr olds, and snorting his "angel" dust, ya know cause God told him to.
Nicknames: Susan Powters(STOP THE INSANITY!), Bleach Boy 1(Justin= 2), Flat-top, and Ru(as in RuPaul...homeboy's a cross dresser)
Appearance: This boy must have a lifetime supply of Bleach...Damnit your hair can't get any whiter! He has a flat head which is too big for his bird chested little body(he needs to steal some of Joey's steroids).
Occupation: He likes to think he sing bass, but the truth is Lance couldn't sing bass even if he was a man...which he's not. He's also does those infomercials, ya know "STOP THE INSANITY!" (Yeah that's what I'm saying stop the insanity, stop those cleptoe, no talent, little pussies named Nsync)!
Hobbies: He's a cross dresser/hooker. He's, I mean she's, really cheap, but that's probably because he has lots of "hooker" diseases...or so I've heard. He tries to sucker people out of their money by selling them his weight loss program(I don't know about you but he really gets on my nerves with his white spiky hair and his big ass mouth constantly screaming "STOP THE INSANITY", if anyone is insane it's him). He's also JC's sex toy...I guess after a few shots he'll do anything.
My Problem with Him: He gives Basses a bad name, he gives REAL women a bad name, and he's one scary looking freak elf boy with white hair. If I ever met this fag I would kick his ass then freaking dye his hair back to a normal color but only after I screamed in his ear "STOP THE INSANITY!!!"
In Ten Years From Now: Lance will have had his little operation. He'll also be a recurring guest on Jerry Springer..."Guess What Honey I'm Really a Man Who Use to be a Fat Woman but Now I do Imfomericals so I can Help Other Fat Women Trapped in Male Bodies."
Nicknames: God Fatone, Fat Ass
Right Hand Man
Appearance: You'd think with all the money he makes he could afford to get a couple inches taken off that giant nose of his...that motherfucker is huge! Speaking of huge is it just me or does this guy look like a future wife beater??? Maybe it's because he's a walking talking ad for steroids...call me stupid but I thought those were bad for another part of your body...
Occupation: He's the one you can hear always singing off key...those damn steroids again. He's also head of the 0rlando mob...be afraid be very afraid, because they all look like him...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Hobbies: This guy has a stack of Playgirl like you won't believe...which means he spends a whole hella lot of time in the tour bus bathroom. He also likes to play Spank the Monkey with band member Chris(with Chris it's more like Spank the Ugliest Motherfucker in the World...I'd more than spank him I'd freaking beat him).
My Problem with Him: I'm Anti drug, Anti wife beat, and big time Anti Chris.
In Ten Years From Now: Mr. Fatone will have built a chain of "Fatone's Gay & Lesbain Sex Shops". He and Chris will have flown to Hawaii to legalize the marriage(I thank God will not have attended)and they'll have little gay bastards running around their sex imporium.
Nicknames: Bleach Boy 2, Albino Boy, and Curly.
Appearance: Ugh! Justin needs to = some hair relaxer cause those nasty curls of his look like ringlets of white shit. Oh and his body! Where do I begin? He should at all times have to wear a shirt...NO TANK TOPS!!! I almost went blind when I seen him in Tearing Up my Eyes, I mean Heart. You know the part where AB(Albino Boy)is on that bed wearing ugh a white tank top, trying to look sexy(THE ONLY THING HE LOOKED IS MAD SCARY) he needs to drink some mad milk or steal some of Joey's steriods. This little prick is damn ugly, I truly do not see why all you Nsync fans like him. The only thing I can come up with is that your blind.
Occupation: Sings all the nasel congested leads(kinda like Nick only much worse)...blow you freaking nose, it's not that hard!
Hobbies: He and his mommy like to play tea party, dress up, and bath time together(I think I'm going to puke). He also has the pot hook up, so when mommy's busy with Pearlman, Justin gets Lance high and then spanks his monkey for a small fee and I do mean small, just like Justin.
My Problem with Him: He's a freaking mommy's boy pussy! Hello didn't the doctor cut that umbilical cord when he was born??? He needs to get his head out of his mom's ass and stand up for himself because AB=Pathetic Pussy.
In Ten Years From Now: Justin, being from the south, will have went all the way and married his Mom(I wonder what it's like to have a family tree that goes straight up). They of course will show off their 2 headed babies and join the circus to be with their own kind(i.e. Howie).
Nicknames: Freak of Nature, and ULO(Unidentified Living Object)
Appearance: Woof give that dog a bone...better yet a gun. What is up with the shit for hair look and the metal teeth??? It's like he wants to be freaking hideous. His hair makes me want to cry...it's so sad that he thinks it looks "cool" when it really looks like freaking Medusa had a baby. I bet his hair smells just like it looks, like shit, cause this boy doesn't bathe. He smells so bad that the Iraqi government wanted to add him to its list of biological warfare weapons...now that's stanker than stank! ~Hey here are some words of advice for the rest of 'Nsync...if you ever want to hide something from Chris, just hide it under some soap...he'll never look there.
Occupation: High=Chris...he sounds like a freaking retarded chipmunk on crack(damnit Chris do humanity a favor and O.D. already).
My Problem with Him: His hair, his teeth, his body, his name, his voice...damn we could be here all day. It's quite simple HE's my problem...I think he should have had the shot gun in his mouth and his toe on the trigger long ago...say birth.
In Ten Years From Now: Chris will be lying in some gutter, whiskey in hand. He'll reminisce about the good old day, when he was in a band made up of 5 of Orlando's ugliest guys. ~*Yo, B yo mean fow...I be the good lookin one*~! No you little bastard I meant 5. The good old days before the scandel where he was found with a 14 yr old male fan, the scandel that landed him in jail. Chris will like these memories, ya know of dropping the soap(LOL what soap?) and his boyfriend Bubba raping him. Ah yes the good old days.
