Shit~! That's Ugly

Shit~! That's Ugly No, that's just Chirs.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...CHRIS IS ONE UGLY MOTHERFUCKER!!! I'm sorry but there was no other way for me to say it...he's way over the normal ugly limit. I still say he should have the shot gun in his metal mouth and his toe on the trigger... He should have made the leap of faith off a cliff...he should have played with a fork and a electrical socket as a child, the point is he shouldn't be here torturing us today. Lets take a look at this boil on humanity's back...Chris Kirkpatrick.

Ok here's Chris back in the day...ya know when he looked normal. I mean he still makes me wanna sing "We're the Chipmunks....Alvin, Simon, Theodore." but he looks mucho better than...

This...Please excuse the black eye, fat lip, and the scrach, Chris said that he was better looking then my Kevin, so after I got done laughing I kicked the living shit out of him(no one talks trash on Kevy!!!). Now in this picture Chris has perfected the art of ugliness. Full head of nasty dirty dreads, metal teeth, and ewww shave ya queer face ya hairy chipmunk! I think Chris was the poster child for Birth Control("Use protection or your child could come out looking like this"). I mean Chris is an excellent example of why some animals eat their young.

I swear Chris is the epidimy of ugly! I mean Justin is the ugliest a human can get.
~*Yo B, wassup with dat*~!?! I guess robots are a whole new ball game and boy can they make them ugly! Someone should throw Chris into a tub of water that way he'll "Short Circuit" out. Now we know the truth Chris is not human...that would explain so much but it leaves me with one question...Who would be so evil as to make such a hideously deformed, ugly motherfucker creature?...PEARLMAN~!

Chris's Memories?

I bet Chris has had a fun filled life, ya know torturing others. Take a look at a few of his heart-warming memories...
1.) "When I was born the doctor can out to the waiting room and said to my father...'I am very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through.' Then Pop started to cry and well thus began my life."
2.)"I remember when I was a young boy we use to have a dog named Killer...Oh how I loved that dog and he loved me too. I mean after all his fave bone was my arm. What fun we had, me, Killer, and my Pop. My dad would bury me in the back yard(he called it "See how long it takes to kill your son Chris" I thought it was awulfully nice of Pop to name the boy after me)anyways Dad would bury me but then Killer would come and dig me up and chew on my arm somemore...such fun."
3.)"Then one day Killer got hit by a car, so Pop took me to the Circus(he said I would fit in great)I went to the freak show and they let me in for free...I couldn't believe my luck! With all the excitement I got lost. So I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my dad. I was so scared and I asked him 'Do you think well ever find him?' He said, 'I don't know kid...there are so many places he can hide.'
4.)"Once I was kidnapped(no lie)and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father and he said he wanted more proof...that's my Pop, no one's going to fool him."
5.)"In highschool I worked at the local pet store. It was a really strange job because people kept asking how big I'd get."
6.)"I remeber the first time a girl called my house. It was the hottest girl(well I thought)in the whole school...Sarah Ackerman. Well she called and told me to come over because nobody was home. So I jumped on my bike and raced to her house...and when I got there Nobody was home. She must of had to leave suddenly or something."
7.)One time life got so bad for me I tried suicide a couple of times. The first time I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor...so they sent a priest up to talk to me. When he got there he said, 'On your mark...' The second time I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills. I really didn't want to die so I called my doctor. He told me to have a few shots of whiskey and get some rest."
8.)"I was really in need of help so I went to a Psychiatrist. She told me I was going crazy. So I told her, 'I if you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. Then she said to me, 'Alright you one ugly motherfucker too!' The whole experience wasn't all bad...I ment a guy named Joey who was seeking help for his Superman fetish and we formed a group called 'N SYNC...maybe we'll become famous :)"
-Maybe you'll all crawl into a deep dark hole and die :)