Journal of a Living lady #123

 

Nancy White Kelly

 

            Back to the real world today. Chemo and needles. I have enjoyed an unusually good summer since the first recurrence of cancer to my lungs and bones. I am thankful for every fine day. Even the bad days haven’t been as unpleasant as some  in the past. I am about twenty pounds lighter. Buddy insists I am not my normal color. If he doesn’t quick sneaking up on me and  pulling down my bottom eye lids, one of us is going to need plastic surgery.  The last time he did that I told him in my grumpiest tone to leave me alone and get a life. Did he listen? No. He was back in five minutes with a  B-12 shot.

 While I do enjoy living, I am not afraid of dying. None of us are going to get out of this world alive anyway.  As long as there is breath, there is hope that cancer and other dread diseases will someday be eradicated  It is a proven fact that people who have a positive attitude and who set goals live longer than those who don’t. A well-researched university project demonstrated that those who are prayed for improve more than those who aren’t prayed for.  I strongly believe in the power of  prayer. Friends and relatives pray for me regularly.  Other than divine intervention, there can be no other explanation of my still being counted among the living.

A Big Band fan, I have always admired Fred Astaire’s attitude: “Do it big, do it right, and do it with style.” I can’t dance, but I have flamboyantly pushed the envelope on terminal cancer longevity.  Granted I am an optimistic. And I do set goals. It is not my nature to dwell on the past or worry about the future. I try to concentrate on the here and now.

 What good can I do today…after the I.V.’s have finished dripping?  I could go home, climb into bed and retreat from life.  Certainly nobody would expect me to do a good deed today. We should not let what we cannot do interfere with what we can do. Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly. The bumble bee doesn't know it and goes on flying anyway.

There are at least five people I could call who are suffering and need some encouragement. Not all are afflicted physically. Some are bereaved. A friend who lost a husband months ago needs a carefully selected card that says, “I care and you aren’t forgotten.”  Another widow friend, who is so lonely, needs me to drop by and chat for a few minutes. Thank God I still feel well enough to do things like that.

Many of you have taken the  time to cheer me on. A card in my mailbox.. A caramel pie in the kitchen. Sometimes I go to the front door and find a solitary rose from a couple who have their own troubles. That rose almost always takes my breath. It is beautiful for sure, but the loving thought behind it uplifts my spirits even more than the flower

Encouragers. That is what we all need to be. Sometimes we are the encourager. Other times we are the encouragee. What goes around comes around.

 

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July 26, 2001