Journal of a Living Lady #126
Nancy White Kelly
My first book
signing went well. I rested until an hour before I was due to appear. This was
pre-planned to give myself the extra energy I would need. Buddy, after taking a nerve pill, went on ahead supposedly to make sure the
air conditioning was on. His real motive in going early was to find a secluded
spot to plop himself. You just have to understand that Mississippi country boys
don’t cater to book signings especially since it required his wearing a white
shirt and tie in the middle of the week.
Unfortunately for Buddy, people were already lining up when he
arrived. While my Buddy doesn’t like the limelight, he can ad lib in a pinch. I
have always thought he’d make an excellent straight man in a Vaudeville act.
Just ask Buddy to show you his billfold. He will oblige by instantly whipping
it out of his back pocket. With a deft slap on his wrist, that wallet does a
triple-vault before making a perfect landing in Buddy’s outstretched hand.
Sometime I’ll tell you about his infamous flying spoon exchange, but today’s
column is about the signing.
When I approached the media center, I felt like a movie star
attending the premiere of a new movie. The only thing missing was the red
carpet. My nature is to greet everybody and hug, but this restless crowd was
ready to get on with it. I skipped the niceties and got busy. With haste, I
unpacked my bag containing autographing pens and book marks. The book, the 156
pages of Journal of a Living Lady, complete with my mischievous grin on the
cover, were neatly stacked and ready for some personally written remarks.
Book signings tend to be festive
occasions with good natured chatting among the people waiting in line for their
moment with the author. My friend Ramie became the necessary banker. The
publisher of my book likes to eat and likes to eat well. Hence, the money
exchange.
Two others friends, Patsy and Ellie,
brought water and managed the crowd. Others assisted by bringing in chairs from
the adjacent fellowship hall which took chairs away from those awaiting to eat.
You don’t win friends and influence people that way, but it was beyond my
control. Heady stuff for a little girl originally from the south side of the
tracks in Memphis. Elvis was from there too. His youthful picture is in my high
school year book. Elvis went on to become a celebrity for his singing. I became
famous for not dying on cue. Sometime I will tell you about my getting his
autograph, but today’s column is about the book signing.
For two straight hours I signed and
signed and signed. My biggest fear was that I would forget the name of the
person who wanted the book inscribed. I was sure before the evening was out I
would embarrass myself by writing Jane instead of Barbara. If I made mistakes,
nobody called my hand on it. Actually, as the time wore on, the signing took on
the atmosphere of a party and jokes abounded.
This was my favorite one of the night. No offense intended. I love all
the people of the world.
A Jewish woman's husband died and she had
only $20,000 to her name. After everything was done at the funeral home and
cemetery, she told her closest friend
that she had no money left.
The friend said, "How can that be? You told me you still had
$20,000 left just a few days before your husband died. How could you be
broke?"
The widow said, "Well, the funeral home cost me $5,000. And, of course, I had to make the obligatory
donation to the temple, so that was
another $5,000. The rest went for the memorial stone.”
The friend said, "$10,000 for the memorial stone!” “Wow, just how big a stone was it?"
Extending her left hand, the widow said, "Three carats."
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Write the Living Lady at P.O. Box 285,
Young Harris, GA 30582. The book is available at any Sentinel Newspaper office
and in most bookstores. Another book signing will be held at the Mountain
Regional Library in Young Harris, GA on Thursday, August 30th, from
5-7 p.m.
