How do you write a newspaper column? Word by word. Line by line. Literally. Not always, but for me this week I am doing it the hard way. Having just recently returned home from another week in the hospital, I find my strength hardly enough to stay vertical more than ten minutes at a time. The increased bone pain required more radiation which zaps every ounce of energy in the human body. A new internal port had to be surgically implanted for possible future chemotherapy which makes me sore. Picking up a glass of tea requires pitiful effort. Buddy is the best caretaker in the world, but I'll leave the subject of caregiving for another day. Just know that I am very blessed in that area. You will seldom see Buddy in the limelight, but he's there in the background helping somebody somewhere.

Several months ago I had decided to forgo any more treatment. Yet, pain is a tremendous persuader. To silence the pain, you give in and give up more cognitive skills than you'd like. I had earlier backed off medications thinking I was truly better. Then the truly difficult pain hit. It took high doses of meds to get back to tolerable levels of pain. "Stubborn" is my middle name.

Just three weeks earlier I was laughing and hugging relatives at a happy family reunion, hardly feeling sick at all. Today I look like a nuclear camp survivor. But I am stronger today than yesterday and a little stronger than the day before. I will come out of this again. I'm still not ready to go gently into the night just yet. As long as I have breath, I have purpose. I keep telling myself that as I drift off to sleep. A couple of times I have wondered if I would awaken again, but have, of course, and consider that God's signal to keep on. He'll keep on top of the medical situation. I just have to trust the course He is steering me on.

We are all in the refining process. I am a better person because of the cancer.

Refining gold is not an easy process. Pound. Mix. Scrub. Roll. Melt. Treat with acid.

We all know the story of Job. God allowed Satan to do as he wished with him except take his life. Yet, in spite of all the calamities that came his way, he maintained his integrity. "Through all this Job did not sin by charging God with any wrongdoing." (Job 1:22)

A great sculptor of days long ago named Michelangelo loved to work with marble. An eight foot, white marble statute of David was his favorite. I've seen it with my own eyes.

While Michelangelo was working on this massive project, a lot of the pure white marble that had originally been brought to this site with sweat labor fell away. The people began to complain about all the left over crumbled marble. Michelangelo's response was "As the chips fall away, the image emerges."