Un-edited random personal notes from Oprah adventure: May 17, 2000 Nancy White Kelly

Received call from Kelly Olson, Associate Producer, from Harpo Productions which produces the Oprah Winfrey Show on Friday asking questions about the family reunion which was the first wish granted by the Making Memories Organization in Portland, Oregon. It was held last July at the Brasstown Valley Resort and included 31 relatives from 7 states. The whole community pitched in, providing limousine services, flowers, gifts, and food. The day was declared Nancy Kelly Day by Davis Palmour on behalf of the Mayor of Young Harris.

The next day received a call from Kelly asking for videos, albums, and pictures of my life starting with baby pictures. Specifically they wanted recent pictures of what my everyday life was like, but I didn’t have any pictures in a medical setting. (Why would I take them?) Kelly Olson called again and said “they” would be coming the next day, Sunday, to interview me. I was in the middle of a yard sale and flew into “high gear” trying to box things up and to get ready for the ABC television crew.

A few hours later, Kelly called and said they would not be coming and would send a courier to pick up all the materials that I gathered. I had to work so fast, I didn’t have time to take pictures out of the frames. She also told me they wanted to fly me to Chicago to be on the show.

On Sunday I taught Sunday School which was videoed by a friend (Steve Holland) as Bible teaching is a regular part of my weekly schedule. My only sister, Sunnie Anne White, from Memphis wanted to accompany me as I am not well enough to travel such a distance alone. I also had to get a letter giving me medical permission to travel from my oncologist, Dr. Nancy Stead, in Gainesville, GA. She agreed I could make the trip, provided I had oxygen available. A letter was faxed to Harpo stating such.

On Wednesday, May 10th, Sunnie Anne and I flew out of Atlanta and landed uneventfully in Chicago. The limousine service was there with a wheel chair to take me to a black limousine that was scheduled to stop at the studio for me to record live a letter I had written at the producer’s request. The point of my being on the show was to highlight the Making Memories Organization and to recognize as a special angel, Fran Hansen, the Executive Director of Making Memories. We had never met, though we had talked on the phone endless times regarding the reunion and emailed frequently.

After meeting Kelly Olson and doing the voice taping, Sunnie Anne and I were taken to the Whitehall Hotel in the heart of Chicago. We were impressed with the bellboys who met us at the door of the limousine and said, “Welcome, Miss White and Mrs. Kelly,” as if they already knew who we were.

Our room was very nice as could be expected from a 4-star rated hotel. The refrigerator in our room was full of goodies. We helped ourselves to M&M’s and cashew nuts. Deciding we weren’t going to leave all the bottles and other goodies to waste, I wrapped it all carefully and put it in my suitcase. Only later that evening did we discover that each item was priced and would be added to our bills. We laughed that Sunnie Anne had consumed the small bag of M&M’s for $2.75 and the tiny can of cashews I had gulped down in two bites was $9. I carefully unwrapped my suitcase stash and put it all back. Our meals were provided for at the hotel and we ate what we wanted, actually more than we wanted in several courses. It was nice to be able to sign the first $91 meal ticket as if this were a routine jaunt.

The following morning we were picked up by the limousine again and were off to our adventure in Oprah land. We were greeted by security which immediately took our cameras and cell phones. Harpo Productions is like a huge warehouse with several floors, secret rooms, and trap doors. It was a gigantic maze and we could never have found our way around alone.

First we were escorted to a large room with theatre style seats and a giant, wide-screen T.V. An assistant introduced herself and told us the rules and what we could expect. This particular show would have seven segments, highlighting an “angel.” Mine was to be first after the giving of a $50,000 gift to a foster family who was raising over thirty children without any state assistance. I was specifically told that I would be having “make-up” and that at the right time, I would be ushered on-stage to surprise Fran and to meet Oprah. I had rehearsed in my mind a thousand scenarios and wondered what I might be asked and how I should respond. I didn’t know if I would have opportunity to say two sentences or talk for ten minutes. I was instructed to greet Fran and then start talking, not waiting for Oprah or anybody to cue me.

I wore a blue scarf and matching beret that my friend, Carol Law, had owned before she succumbed to breast cancer a few months ago. Her husband had sent it to me and, I admit, it certainly looked better than my chemo-caused bald head. The make-up artist brushed on some eyebrows and put on light make-up, eye shadow, and then highlighted my cheeks in more red than I normally wear. It was for the benefit of the cameras.

I was taken back to the waiting room and learned that Fran had stayed in another motel and was in a different part of the studio, thinking she was coming on the show to tell about the organization. Little did she know that a famous wedding dress designer was going to give 250 dresses to the Making Memories Organization to sell to help further the case. Fran was previously a wedding gown consultant and had been using those skills to raise money.

I looked at some previous comments I had given in print that might be handy during my five minutes of world-wide fame.

These were some of them: “I believe we have our funeral traditions backwards. When somebody dies, all the family comes from everywhere. Most of the time they haven’t seen each other for years, so they spend time catching up, laughing and sharing memories. The only thing wrong with this scenario is that the person in the box doesn’t get to participate. I wanted a family reunion so I could tell each member of my family how much I loved them. In turn, they could tell me. Flowers given after a funeral are not like flowers given before a funeral. The reunion provided memories, not just for me, but for my entire family that will last our lifetimes. As Ecclesiastes says, "There is a time to live and a time to die." I have lived a good life. The hereafter should be even better. I intend to live forever. So far, so good I may have cancer, but it doesn’t have me …not yet anyway. I am not dying with cancer. I am living with it. It is not God’s will for everyone to live forever in these mortal and imperfect bodies. I have one pressing priority each day: breathe in, breathe out. I think that if God knows the name of each and every star, I can rest in peace knowing he knows my name and yours too. Someone with terminal cancer certainly has reason enough to lay low and withdraw from life. It is a battle some mornings to put two feet on the floor. I know the day may come when I can't will myself to keep going. But I'm not there yet. Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings while the dawn is still dark. She who laughs, lasts. It isn’t what is etched in stone isn't really that important. In actuality, we are writing our obituary or epitaphs everyday we live. Death is part of living and that I've had my bags packed for this journey for a long time. None of us can live this life but once, but if we do it right, once is enough. Then comes life's graduation. We shouldn’t forget in the dark what we've learned in the light. Another day means another opportunity to make a difference in the life of somebody else. We shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. We need to be able to throw something back. I don't want any part of an empty life. Our lives have meaning and purpose as long as we breathe. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow may never come. But we have today and that is what is important. One thing I have learned this past year is to not put a period where God has put a comma.”

Finally the show started and I was escorted to the taping room where a very organized team was viewing at least a dozen televisions and barking orders back and forth with the camera men. I was getting nervous watching their hectic pace. In a few moments I caught a glimpse of Fran on the stage with Oprah. In the background I could see glimpses of video that had been shot at the reunion. Then the producer came in and rushed me, cane in hand, to a little hallway. I could see a small portion of the stage. Oprah announced my being there as Fran’s surprise and an assistance gave me a little nudge and whispered, “Go, go, go…quickly.” As I mounted the stage, Fran greeted me and we hugged. I told her how much the reunion meant and tried to continue talking, remembering that I was supposed to not wait on a cue. Oprah interrupted me, “Hi, I’m Oprah.” I stopped to acknowledge her and another assisted rushed a chair on-stage for me to sit. I remember Oprah asking me how I was doing now, but not much more. It was such a whirlwind. Nothing I had planned to say got said. In a couple of minutes, our segment was over and I was seated in the front row of the audience. I breathed a sign of relief and enjoyed the rest of the inspiring program.

Afterward, all the guests were rushed to the previous viewing room to gather our things and then on to the front security desk to reclaim our cameras and personal items. There were no warm fuzzy moments with Oprah or even a photo shoot. The limousines were waiting and we arrived back at the hotel where we waited in the lobby until another limousine came to take us to the airport.

I reflected on the flight back how surreal this who event had been, how my parents, if alive, would be beaming that their daughter was on national television, though it wasn’t nearly as breath-taking to me.

The Oprah Show is definitely one of the better talk shows. No way would I have considered being on the likes of the Jerry Springer Show or any of the raunchy ones. Yet, Oprah seems to have a decency about her and I admire her using the forum of her show to recognize people who have contributed greatly to society.

Do I want to go again? Not really. But, if Regis calls, and invites me to the hot seat, I’ll reconsider.