iMPACT

August 16, 2007

by Sassy

 

Comments by Sassy in Italics

We start off the show with clips of the matches on Hard Justice. 

Jeremy Borash tells us he is on the red carpet for the first annual Angle awards.  The Angle family has decided to throw themselves an award ceremony.  Showtime Eric Young appears wearing a t-shirt that says “Honk if you love pacman”.  Jeremy says he is there because he wants to be first in line to get Jones autograph.  Kurt shows up in a tux and tells us he is just as great as he ever was to the sound of hisses and boos of the fans.  Kurt tells us it is great to be Kurt Angle.  As he leaves, Eric says it’s great that we still have heroes like Jones. Please tell me that line wasn't Eric's idea!

Announcers:  Mike Tenay & Don West

Tenay tells us we will have all of the fallout from Hard Justice.  West tells us that we will have the first ever Angle awards and that we will find out who was behind the vicious attack on Jones at Hard Justice. We get a repeat of the media frenzy Pacman Jones has caused by coming to TNA. (Did anybody catch the that newscasters kept using the phrase “SUSPENDED Pacman Jones”?)

Tenay is in the middle of the ring and he introduces Jones. West at the announcer’s table tells us Jones was the sixth pick of the draft and then gives us his football history.  Tenay offers to shake Jones’s hand and Jones this time does shake hands with Tenay. Tenay mentions the verbal incident between The Truth and Jones and then reminds us that Jones was injured backstage and had to go to the hospital during Hard Justice. Jones yanks the microphone out of Tenay’s hand and tells us he is going to tell us how it is. As he hints that it was The Truth that did the damage, The Truth comes down the ramp to the applause of the fans and we hear “What’s up!” The Truth tells Jones his problem is not with him and he doesn’t sneak behind anyone’s back.   The Truth then tells Jones that whether he likes it or not they are birds of a feather. The audience does not take this remark well. The Truth tells Jones not to worry about the audience. The Truth tells Jones they can be a team and that Jones can trust The Truth. He swears they will get revenge on whoever attacked Jones and that they can be tag team champions.  The Truth then leads Jones out of the ring to find Jim Cornette to tell him about it.  Eric comes down the ramp with his hand in the air in order to ask for an autograph from Jones and wants him to sign his shirt. Jones takes the pen; Eric turns around so he can sign the back of the shirt and The Truth hits Eric from behind sending him to the ramp. The Truth stomps on Eric several times before exiting the arena.

Jim Cornette is in his office with Matt Morgan and Leticia Cline. A knock on the door and Christopher Daniels followed by Senshi and Elix Skipper enters.  Daniels wants Cornette to explain to him why he has to be in a match with Jay Lethal for the number one contender in the X Division when Daniels is already the number one contender. Cornette tells Daniels he lost to Lethal at Hard Justice and he is no longer the number one contender.  Daniels argues that Lethal beat him in a tag match, but Cornette says that doesn’t matter.

As soon as Triple X leaves the office, Christian, AJ and Tomko enter with Christian telling Cornette that after Hard Justice he is over with Abyss and he needs to move on to bigger and better things. Cornette tells Christian that if he does not want the title shot, he will just mark him off the list. Cornette tells Christian that Abyss is so desperate to get him in the ring again Abyss will wrestle for the championship title shot he won at Hard Justice.  Christian decides that he has changed his mind and he will be in a first blood match with Abyss and that he will come out the winner.  Cornette tells Christian he better be sure he busts Abyss open before Abyss busts him open.

We see Jeremy still on the red carpet to greet Karen Angle and her sidekick who is apparently a family friend.  Jeremy asks Karen what she is going to do when Samoa Joe shows up tonight and she says she won’t have to worry that because she has an order of protection. She then says she wants to talk about something more important.  She wants to talk about herself.  The crowd behind her doesn’t appear to be interested and give her the same negative reaction they gave Kurt. She tells everyone how amazing she was with her performance the last three weeks.  She says it is hard to be humble when you are an Angle. It appears it is hard to keep your mouth closed if you are an Angle.

Tenay wonders if Samoa Joe is going to be present for the Angle awards.

NUMBER ONE CONTENDER MATCH 

The Fallen Angel, Christopher Daniels vs. The Black Machismo, Jay Lethal

The other members of Triple X accompany Daniels:  The Warrior Senshi and Elix Skipper

The Guru, Sonjay Dutt, accompanies Lethal

Before the bell, Daniels attacks Lethal from behind as he is taking off his glasses and hat.  The bell rings and Daniels delivers several blows, a head butt, which seemed to affect Daniels as well, and then more blows to Lethal who has not been able to get out of the corner. Daniels sends Lethal across to the opposite ring post and then uses an over the head body drop to send Lethal to the mat. Lethal gets back to his feet as Daniels works the crowd. Lethal is leaning on a ring post when Daniels charges but Lethal gets out of the way and Daniels runs into the post. Lethal delivers a series of fists to Daniels face before attempting to send Daniels into the ropes.  Daniels gets the switch, Lethal goes into the ropes, and comes off the ropes to deliver a kick to Daniels midsection. Lethal bounces off the bottom rope to take Daniels down with a hurricane rana.  Hip toss to Daniels and drop kick to the head.  Lethal goes for the pin but only gets a two count. Lethal has Daniels in a headlock.  Daniels starts to pull Lethal’s hair then uses an elbow to break the hold. He sends Lethal into the ropes, Lethal ducks under the waiting clothesline, comes off the ropes on the opposite side of the ring and Daniels sends him over the top ropes to the floor. Daniels keeps the referee occupied as Senshi comes around the ring, picks up Lethal and body slams him onto the floor.

After the commercial break, Daniels is coming off the top rope to land on Lethal already down on the mat.  Daniels goes for the cover, only gets a two count. Daniels works on Lethal’s neck and chin, but Lethal gets to his feet and throws punches to back Daniels off.  Hard swing, Daniels ducks, grabs Lethal’s hair and takes him down to the mat.  West says that before the commercial break when Senshi body slammed Lethal it had been all Daniels in the match ever since. Daniels pulls Lethal, by the leg, closer to the ropes and then points to the ropes. Daniels springs off the second rope trying for the BME, but Lethal has made it to his feet and gets out of the way. Daniels charges Lethal and Lethal hits him with an elbow sending him backward.  Lethal is up to the top rope, does what appears to be a leg drop onto Daniels taking him to the mat. Both me to their feet and Lethal charges across the ring taking Daniels down with a clothesline turns and delivers a second clothesline.  Daniels is trying to get to his feet but Lethal delivers an elbow to the head and throws Daniels across the ring and into the post.  Lethal comes off the ropes and catches Daniels in the middle of the ring with a knee, then takes Daniels to the ropes and Lethal goes over the top rope to the floor, hanging Daniels on the top rope. Lethal is on the top turnbuckle as Daniels gets to his feet.  Lethal hits Daniels with a double sledge to the top of his head, then goes for the pin. Lethal gets a two count before Daniels kicks out. Lethal picks Daniels up, delivers two fists to the face and two elbows to the top of the head. Lethal bounces off the ropes but Daniels catches him with a knee doubling Lethal over. Daniels sets Lethal up for the angel wings, but Lethal catches him with a hurricane rana. Daniels receives a fist from Lethal and then a high kick to the head. Daniels staggers into the ropes and as he comes back to the center of the ring, Lethal delivers a body slam. Lethal points to the sky getting audience approval then goes for the top turnbuckle. Daniels is to his feet, but Skipper is on the ring apron getting the referee’s attention. Daniels delivers a right to Lethal’s jaw. Tenay tells us Sonjay has taken Skipper out on the floor but in the ring Daniels pulls Lethal off the top turnbuckle and slams to the mat.  Cover by Daniels and Lethal manages to kick out after a count of two. Daniels stops to argue with the referee about the count then goes back to pick Lethal up off of the mat by his hair.  Daniels sets Lethal against the ropes then grabs the referee by the neck and turns him around to argue with him again. Senshi appears on the ring apron choking Lethal but Sonjay comes across the ring and sends Senshi to the floor. Daniels turns his attention to Sonjay, hitting him across the back, sending him into the ropes, and as Sonjay comes across the ring, he does a flip dive over the top rope taking out Senshi and Skipper.  Daniels turns his attention to the bodies on the floor and Lethal is back to his feet and waiting to deliver the Lethal combination, goes for the pin and Lethal gets the win, making him the number one contender for the X Division Championship. The audience loudly approves of the win.

Lethal and Daniels were in a six-man tag match at Hard Justice.  If you were lucky enough to see that match, you would be as surprised as I am that these two could give us this great match on iMPACT.  Daniels is magnificent but  I am glad to see that Lethal is getting a push.  Lethal works hard and he deserves it. Sonjay didn’t let the match go by without getting in at least one highflying maneuver. 

Jeremy, still on the red carpet, greets Kevin Nash as he arrives. Nash says he is thrilled to be getting the award tonight but he has already won the best acting award for his German snuff films. Jeremy says he has never seen those.  Jeremy notes that at one particular time Nash and Karen were looking each other in the eyes and there seemed to be some sort of connection.  Jeremy wants to know if that was acting. Nash says that he thinks Karen is sometimes like Angelina Jolie and that she falls in love with her leading man. Nash says that Karen is a great actress but they need to talk about Kurt and those red briefs. Jeremy wants to tell everyone that Nash is not a doctor but Nash says that he is a doctor. The audience reaction to Nash is much more positive than the reaction they had to the Angles and friend.

Back from commercial break and we are in Cornette’s office with Leticia and Matt.  The Truth and Jones enter the office and Jones says Cornette knows who is, he is Pacman Jones.  Cornette gets up and comes around to the front of the desk as The Truth explains to him why they are there. The Truth says that ratings make the payday and Cornette says victories make the payday as well. The Truth says the whole world will be watching if The Truth and Jones are a tag team.  Cornette wants to know what The Truth is going to do if he doesn’t make a match and asks if he is going to do the same thing that he did to Eric Young.  Cornette says he has seen Jones' contract and he knows what Jones can and can’t do in TNA.  The Truth says that Eric got what he deserved and that he was disrespecting Jones during the time of work. The Truth says that as far as Jones’ contract goes, he and Jones can work their way around anything and they can take care of that but Cornette has to book this match. The Truth says that he can either do it the easy way or the hard way.  Matt Morgan steps between Cornette and the other two.  The Truth wants to know if they can’t all just get along. Cornette says that he will take the matter into consideration but right now he is going to have Matt show them the parking lot. The Truth says they will leave for now peacefully but next time they won’t leave peacefully and Cornette needs to think about the match long and hard.

We hear Angle’s entry music and Kurt and Karen Angle are at the top of the entrance ramp carrying all of Kurt’s belts.  They enter the ring where there is a podium and mention is made of the film short for iFilm that Kurt has done. Kurt with his sunglasses on proceeds to tell everyone again how great the Angles are.  The audience does not appear to feel the same way. We get another recap of the incidents leading up to the feud at Hard Justice and the end of the Hard Justice match.  Kurt then says the best supporting actor award is a tie between Kurt’s friend, Trademarc, and Kurt’s doctor, Kevin Nash. Thumbs down from the audience.  The next award goes to the first lady of what Kurt calls the total nonstop angle the 2007 best actress, Kurt’s wife Karen Angle. Kurt gets to his knees to kiss her hand and Karen’s mouth is running mostly to insult the fans, the wrestlers, the announcers, the interviewers and Samoa Joe. The audience is much louder than Karen.  That must have difficult to accomplish but the audience pulled it off. 

We hear Cornette's voice and he comes to the ring with Matt. Cornette wants to know if this is professional wrestling program or the Golden Globes. Cornette says he hates to interrupt but he wants to congratulate Kurt for winning all three titles because that has never been done before and then tells Kurt that at No Surrender Kurt will be defending all three titles.  Kurt will defend the X Division title one on one with The Black Machismo.  Kurt will defend the World Heavyweight Championship match with the winner of the Abyss vs. Christian Cage match.   Cornette tells Kurt he better get himself a tag team partner because he will defend the World Tag Team titles against Team Pacman. Kurt proceeds to throw a tantrum, knocking down the podium and then gets Cornette by the throat.  That move forces Matt into the middle and he throws Kurt across the ring. Matt takes off his shirt and his undershirt as Nash and Trademarc hold Kurt back. Karen walks over and slaps Matt in the face. Security hits the ring and manages to hold Matt back. Tenay tells us Samoa Joe has just entered the building.

If this had been the Golden Globes everyone would have gone home a loser with the exception of Cornette for "I Don't Care How Many Angles Are In The Ring, I've Got Matt Morgan" award and  Matt Morgan for "Nice Body Under The Shirt" award..

After the commercial break, Christian and Jeremy are backstage and Christian says he is at his breaking point.  No AJ Styles, no Tomko, if you want something done right you have to do it yourself.  Christian says he has never been pinned, he has never submitted and he is the real champion.  He tells Jeremy to wipe that stupid smirk off of his face as something goes flying and hits the wall behind them. Said item being thrown by none other than  Samoa Joe.  He disagrees that Christian is the real champion and tells Christian if he watched the match last week he would know who the real champion should be. Joe tells Christian that he can be the number one contender and he can be the champ but it will be over Joe’s dead body. Joe then says he will see Christian out there and heads toward the arena.  Christian goes looking for Tomko and AJ.

FIRST BLOOD MATCH
Winner Gets Championship Match

The Instant Classic Christian Cage vs. The Monster Abyss

Before the bell rings, Christian hits Abyss from behind, delivers a series of chops, tries to send Abyss into the ropes, Abyss gets the switch, sending Christian into the ropes.  Christian comes off the ropes and delivers a boot to Abyss but Abyss counters by picking Christian up over his head and dropping him. Christian is up and Abyss charges.  Christian gets out of the way and Abyss hits the ring post. Christian up on the second rope to bite to the head of Abyss. Abyss shoves Christian off and Christian lands on the mat. Christian charges at Abyss and receives a hard boot. Abyss off the ropes landing on Christian who is down against a ring post. Christian rolls out onto the apron.  Abyss picks Christian up and delivers a fist, then tries to take the cover off of the turnbuckle. Christian delivers several blows to Abyss’s midsection getting him to break the hold. Abyss grabs Christian by the neck and runs him into the next ring post.  Christian goes off onto the floor and Abyss goes out after him.  Hard fist to the top of Christian’s head but Christian manages to connect with a toehold to send Abyss crashing into the steel steps.  We see Tomko enter the arena before the commercial break.

Back from the commercial break, Christian is working on Abyss with a chair in the middle of the ring.  Flash back showing what happened during the commercial break and see Tomko walk down to the ring and hand Christian a screwdriver. Christian has Abyss set up for the conchairto in the ring but Abyss rolls out of the way and Christian hits the chair on the floor with the chair in his hands.  Abyss comes after Christian to set him up for a slam but Christian gets out of the hold and comes off the ropes again being met by a big Abyss boot.  Abyss tries to set Christian up for the shock treatment but Christian manages to get out of the hold, tries to set Abyss up for a drop, Abyss manages to switch the hold and tries again for the shock treatment.  Christian makes his way out of the hold again; ducks the clothesline Abyss has waiting and picks up a chair. Abyss hits the chair with his fist sending it into Christian’s head.  Christian is down and Abyss sets a chair up in the corner.  Christian slides into the legs of Abyss sending Abyss to the mat and sets a chair on Abyss’ face.  Christian goes up to the top rope, dives and Abyss tosses the chair aside getting Christian by the throat on his way down. Christian delivers what appears to be a low blow and then sends Abyss into the chair set up in the ropes. The referee checks, there is no blood, and the match continues. AJ runs down the ramp and looks under the ring for a weapon for Christian.  AJ hands Christian a barbed wire bat and we see Samoa Joe run down to the ring with a chair, jumping up on the apron to take the bat out of Christian’s hand and when Christian leans through the ropes to go for the bat, Joe nails him with the chair. Joe then throws the chair to Abyss.  Abyss smacks Christian with the chair opening up Christian’s head and winning the match.

I like to see Abyss win a match and if anyone here deserves an actor’s award it should be Christian.  His attitude and actions during interviews and matches are priceless.  Abyss is a large man yet he moves as though he is not.  I never expect him to do the same moves as those wrestlers who participate in the X Division but he does wonders in the ring without having to do much in the way of high flying.  As in the previous match tonight, these two did a fantastic job at Hard Justice and did it for us again on iMPACT. 

Kurt Angle comes running down the ramp and attacks Abyss.  Kurt picks up the chair and repeatedly hits Abyss with the chair.  As Karen enters the ring and picks up a chair to hit Abyss, we hear Cornette’s voice telling Kurt to freeze.  Cornette says that because of what Kurt just pulled he will be in a handicap match next week.  It will be Kurt against Rick and Scott Steiner, the Steiner Brothers.  Karen is to be at ringside and if Kurt loses the match, the Steiner Brothers will get five minutes in the ring alone with Karen. Karen turns on Kurt immediately screaming at him, which is what Karen seems to do best.

This may be the only positive note from all of the jaw exercising I saw this evening.  Did Kurt Angle buy a piece of TNA? Is there a reason we aren't seeing other talent instead of listening to not ONE but TWO Angles? Have I missed something important?  It is fine to run with a story line such as this for a little while but overdone leads to boredom.  I didn’t mind that Kurt and Joe were keeping the feud afloat but this gimmick isn’t making me any fonder of the TNA writers.

I understand why Jerry Jarrett doesn’t recommend children watch wrestling.  Between Kevin Nash’s snuff film mention to making a hero out of a football player banned who was banned from football for real violence, I wouldn’t let my child watch either. I have trouble watching. Give us all a break TNA.  You can get to the fans without calling them idiots but I suspect no one bothered to tell Karen Angle.  The worse the writing gets and the less competent talent appears in the ring, the more TNA’s ratings will drop, the less PPV’s will be purchased – get my drift?   At some point they have to realize we the fans make wrestling.  We the fans decide to turn the television off, refuse to purchase the pay per view or to decide not to buy the tickets to the house show coming soon to an arena near us.  I feel sorry for The Truth and sincerely hope it was not his idea to partner up with Jones. 

Jones still needs to find a writer that makes him sound intelligent.

Karen Angle still needs acting lessons. 

For once I was grateful for commercial breaks during this iMPACT.  I felt like I was writing blah, blah, blah,  which is what I was hearing.  It was a struggle to get through the hour and if not for the two great matches I would have changed the channel, submitted a half completed recap and called it a night.

TNA iMPACT !! / THURSDAY AUGUST 9 / PLAY-BY-PLAY ANALYSIS AND COMMENTARY BY SASSY
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