iMPACT
August
30, 2007
Comments
by Sassy in italics
From Last Week:
Replay of Showtime Eric
Young being spray painted by Ron The Truth Killings and Jones.
Replay of Samoa Joe being ambushed by Christian Cage, AJ Styles and
Tomko. Replay of The Steiner Brothers being ambushed by Team 3D during the match
with Kurt Angle.
We are at
the inside entrance to the building and see Crystal Lawthan with The Truth and
Jones. Crystal wants to know why they picked on Eric last week after The Truth
said he was going to help Jones clean up his image.
The Truth says it is because Eric wanted something for free. Jones says
he freely gave Eric Young a free autograph. Jones tells Crystal he could get –
and I quote – five hundred grand for an autograph. And someone else is going to get a free autograph tonight.
I don’t know who is
paying for Jones’ autograph, but they should have their head examined by a
competent, not Kevin Nash, psychiatrist.
Announcers:
Mike Tenay and Don West
We go to
Jeremy Borash in the back with Kurt and Karen Angle and Kevin Nash. Kurt tells
JB no one in the four way match is worthy to be his partner and that they all
hate him. Nash tells Kurt they don’t hate him.
Kurt is a gold medallist. Nash says he doesn’t think these guys realize
how much Kurt gives to charity on a weekly basis. Kurt laughs, which makes the
other two, laugh. Karen tells Kurt that he took care of everything last week so
she is going to take care of everything this week. JB spends the entire time
looking very puzzled.
Join the club, JB. I
didn’t get it either. It is nice
to know Kurt doesn’t give anything to charity.
Perhaps Kurt should be teaming up with Jones.
Brother
Ray & Brother Devon, Team 3D, from New York City, NY
Vs.
Chris
Sabin & Alex Shelley, The Motor City Machineguns
Tenay
tells the audience that Rick Steiner of the Steiner Brothers will be out
indefinitely because of being put through a table last week by Team 3D.
Before Sabin and Shelley
can get in the ring, Scott Steiner of the Steiner Brothers comes down the
entrance ramp. Scott pushes past
Sabin and Shelley and motions for them to go to the back. Brother Ray points to his chin telling Scott to plant one
right there. Ray and Devon work the
crowd. Scott slides into the ring but is double teamed by Ray and Devon. They
throw Scott into the ropes and he comes off the ropes and delivers a double
clothesline sending Ray and Devon to the mat. The crowd cheers Scott on as he
sends Ray to the mat again with a suplex. He
then sends Devon to the mat with a belly-to-belly suplex.
Devon rolls out of the ring onto the floor. Scott goes out of the ring
and then goes under the ring to grab a table. Scott slides the table into the
ring. He delivers a belly-to-belly suplex to Ray and goes to set the table up.
Devon comes in on the opposite side of the ring and catches Scott with a
forearm to the back sending him to the mat. Devon delivers a series of boots to
Scott much to the dismay of the audience. Devon uses his boot and leverage of
the ropes to choke Scott. Devon sends Scott into the ropes.
As he comes off, Devon and Ray catch him in a 3D. Ray goes out of the
ring and grabs a mic to come back in and trash talk Scott who is still down.
There are now three referees in the ring, but Ray runs them back out of the ring
with a steel chair. Ray holds the chair on Scott’s throat while Devon takes
another chair and slams it on top of the chair on Scott’s neck. The referees
assist Scott out of the ring as Ray continues to barrage Scott with insults.
Scott is down on the floor surrounded by referees.
Scott and the referees are joined by others, including security and
paramedics, from the backstage area. Ray has grabbed the hammer from the
timekeeper and heads toward Scott. Everyone around Scott gets out of Ray’s way.
Ray threatens everyone with the hammer and pounds it on the metal
guardrail for emphasis. Devon takes
down two of the security guards before both men turn back to Scott who is
unprotected on the floor. Ray and Devon roll Scott back into the ring where the
table is set up. Ray is on the top rope. Again the referees try to get into the
ring to intervene but Ray runs them off. The referees are back in the ring and
on the apron but that doesn’t slow Ray and Devon down. They set Scott up and
send him through the table the same way Rick went through the table last week.
I’m sorry we missed
Sabin and Shelley. Scott is a
fantastic substitute but it wasn’t a match, it was a beat down. I have a hard
time deciding who would win if it was Scott Steiner versus Brother Ray or if it
was Scott Steiner versus Brother Devon. All
three of them have size on their side. I
think I would have to vote for Scott in a Scott versus Ray.
Scott versus Devon could easily be a tie.
Back from commercial break
and Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin are in the ring where Shelley is telling the
crowd that everyone needs a hero and they need a match so they can bump up the
ratings. The crowd is all for it and we hear VKM’s music.
Chris
Sabin & Alex Shelley, The Motor City Machineguns
Vs.
BJ &
Kip James, accompanied by Roxxi Laveaux, Voodoo Kin Mafia
Before the bell rings, all
four men are battling it out in the ring. Kip tosses Sabin out onto the floor
and Shelley is tossed into the ring post by BG. BG goes across the ring to
harass Sabin and Kip takes the opportunity to choke Shelley. BG sends Shelley
into the ropes; Shelley ducks the clothesline and grabs BG as Sabin comes off
the top rope to nail BG in the back sending him face first into the mat. Sabin
takes a springboard drop kick across Shelley’s back to send Kip to the floor.
BG swings at Shelley, Shelley ducks and takes BG down in a drop toehold.
Sabin comes off the ropes and drops an elbow into BG’s back as Kip
argues with the referee. Sabin slides over BG and holds him as Shelley comes off
with a baseball slide to BG’s skull. Sabin and Shelley work the crowd for a
few more cheers and rounds of applause. Shelley slides under Kip on the ring
apron, grabs his legs and pulls him off to the floor but Kip is ready and lands
on his feet. Kip turns and sends
Shelley into the poster wall by the guardrail. Sabin is working on BG in the
ring and turns in time to see Kip enter the ring. Sabin ducks a swing from Kip
and comes off the ropes to get caught by Kip and sent to the floor with a power
bomb. BG covers Sabin, goes for the pin and gets the win. Kip gets a mic in
order to demand a tag team worthy of VKM.
Ask and you shall receive
as the music of the Latin American Exchange starts up and Hernandez and Homicide
come down the entrance ramp. Tenay says it must be open challenge night on
iMPACT. As VKM stands in the ring
with LAX at the ring apron, XXX – Christopher Daniels, Senshi and Elix Skipper
– come down the opposite ramp. The camera goes to the other entrance ramp and
Eric Young and Shark Boy are making their way to the ring as well.
Homicide
& Hernandez, LAX
Vs.
Christopher
Daniels, Senshi & Elix Skipper, XXX
Vs.
Eric
Young & Shark Boy
Vs.
BG &
Kip James, VKM
Homicide and Hernandez are
the first ones in the ring; XXX members are in the ring next as Eric and Shark
Boy run down the ramp to join in. There is action all over the ring and it is
moving so fast it is difficult to describe…
Tenay then
says “back to JB with Karen Angle” and the camera shows us just that. JB
says it isn’t a good idea for Karen to go see Samoa Joe but Karen says she
didn’t hit him with a chair so it shouldn’t be a problem. She opens the door
and it is a problem. Joe is not
happy with her in his locker room. Joe
yanks the piece of paper out of her hand, which must be the restraining order
Karen claims to have, and asks her if she thinks the piece of paper scares him.
Joe says it should have come with a SWAT team. Karen tells Joe that no
one is winning the war and if they joined forces, since they are the most
powerful people in the company, they could accomplish something.
Joe says that makes sense and tells her to close the door so they can
talk about it. Joe says that when you take the emotion out of it, he and Kurt
could be unstoppable and they could rule the world. Joe says he wants to be
Kurt’s partner in the worst way. Joe says he wants Karen to be there when he
dismembers Kurt, when he takes him apart piece by piece, gold medal and all. Joe
says when he lays Kurt’s broken body at her feet; she will know that she
caused this. He tells her to go out there and tell her sugar daddy that Joe will
see him soon.
This was absolutely the
stupidest move TNA has made. Why would you cut away from a match in
progress -- and keep reading folks -- we never get back to that match. As much
as I enjoy seeing Joe in front of the mic, in the ring, or chasing AJ Styles
through the building, it was not fair to take away from the action in the ring
for this little skit. Karen Angle has not taken any acting lessons and Joe’s
hat did not come with instructions – he had it on the wrong way. If you
readers think you had it rough watching this stuff being played out during
iMPACT, you should be me having to type it and then proofread it for errors.
Back from commercial break
we see a TNA Bound For Glory promo.
And we still don’t
know who won the big match that was going on before we were so rudely
interrupted with the Karen blah, blah, blah. I am sure the TV audience did not
appreciate missing all those greats in the ring.
We are
backstage with JB who is with Christian Cage, AJ Styles and Tomko. And in
wanders Karen Angle. Christian asks her if she doesn’t see that they are busy
and wants to know if there is something that she wants. Christian asks her if
she is in the right place and tells her that the strip club is down the street.
AJ stops Christian and tells him that she is a lady. Christian again asks Karen
what’s on her mind and she says what is always on her mind – business. Karen
tells Christian that she will help him win tonight, he will become Kurt’s
partner and he and Kurt will successfully defend the TNA Tag Team titles at No
Surrender. Christian wants to know what it in it for him.
Karen tells him he can have a match against the champ, Kurt Angle.
Christian asks her if it’s that easy and she says it is.
Christian tells her that he isn’t buying it because the only person
around here who is a bigger liar than Karen is Christian. Christian tells AJ
that they are going to take care of Joe and they are going to take care of Sting
and it will come down to the two of them and the best man is going to win. AJ
stays behind and asks Karen if the deal is for any of them and she says that it
is. AJ says that he is not gullible
or stupid and he starts to walk away. Then
he turns around and comes back to ask her again.
Karen tells AJ to win and then gives him a kiss. AJ tells JB that Karen
wants him so bad but not to tell Kurt.
I was hoping that
Christian would draw Karen a map to the strip club.
She can’t act, maybe she can read. No such luck.
I have watched AJ Styles many times and he does play the best chump
character around. Tomko can make more use of his facial muscles in these
encounters without ever opening his mouth.
The two of them kept the jaw exercises going on entertaining.
Tenay and West give us a
rundown of the matches we can expect at No Surrender.
We then go to visit Cowboy
James Storm doing his Cowboy Pub Crawl in an attempt to find Rhino.
Tenay tells us that he understands the people in the bars are being
hostile. Storm tells us last week he went to bars that were way too good for
Rhino. He is now going to the
lowest dumps. Storm enters the first bar and threatens everyone before the bar
patrons advance on Storm, pool cues in hand, and run him out to the street. One
guy tells Storm he is not going to start anything, there is no fighting allowed
in the bar. Storm asks if Rhino has
been there and the guy says he has – yesterday. Storm tells the guy if Rhino
comes back to call him and the guy repeats that Storm is not welcome at the bar.
The screen then shows this message:
HAVE YOU
SEEN
RHINO?
IF SO
CALL
1-888-HAVE-A-BEER
I wonder if anyone tried to
call the number. As comical as Storm has become in these little around the
town skits, I am concerned it is a build up for yet another Rhino getting beat
in the ring.
Back at the iMPACT Zone:
Four Way Match to Determine
Angle’s Tag Team Championship Partner
The
Instant Classic Christian Cage, from Tampa, FL by way of Ontario, Canada
Vs.
The
Phenomenal AJ Styles, from Gainsville, GA
Vs.
The
Samoan Submission Machine Samoa Joe from American Samoa
Vs.
The Icon
Sting from Venice Beach, CA
Before Sting enters the arena, the camera flashes to Karen Angle with JB talking to Sting. She tells Sting that he and Kurt could do anything together, that they could change the world for the children. Sting tells her that if she is so concerned about the children to go change her dress. JB still looks confused.
Don't feel bad, JB. I
don’t know what they are paying her for either.
Before the match can begin,
Kurt Angle in suit and sunglasses, dragging Karen along with him, enters the
arena. And we go to commercial
break.
Back from commercial break,
Sting and Joe are in the ring, Christian and AJ enter and it’s Sting against
AJ and Joe against Christian as the bell rings. Joe doesn’t waste any time
beating Christian to the mat with some heavy fists and then keeping him there
with some heavy boots. Sting has AJ in the opposite corner and sends him down
with a big boot to the abdomen. Joe finally lets up on Christian due to referee
interference while AJ has turned the tables on Sting and has him up against the
ropes. AJ delivers a series of blows to Sting then goes after Joe who still has
Christian down on the mat. As AJ works on Joe, Christian is back to his feet and
it’s a double team. Christian handles Joe as AJ goes back to work on Sting. AJ
has Sting back down but Joe has turned the tables and is working on Christian.
AJ comes back across the ring to aid Christian in bringing down Joe. AJ
and Christian toss Joe through the ropes to the floor then go after Sting. Sting
comes up fighting, sending elbows into Christian and fists into AJ before
Christian catches him with a forearm to the back of the head sending Sting down
to one knee. Christian holds Sting so that AJ can come off the ropes and nail
Sting with a fist to the midsection. AJ hold Sting so that Christian can hit him
with a fist to the abdomen. AJ punches Sting then AJ and Christian come off the
ropes but Sting catches them with a double clothesline sending them both to the
mat. Sting sends AJ through the ropes and onto the floor then goes after
Christian sending him into the ropes. Christian
comes off the ropes and gets Sting with a boot.
As Christian comes off the ropes again, Sting catches him with a flying
drop kick. Sting tries to set Christian up for the scorpion but Christian is
close enough to get his hands on the ropes. The camera pans Kurt who seems
concerned enough to take his sunglasses off to watch the action. Christian is
back against the corner post but as Sting heads toward him, he is met with a
Christian sized boot. A punch and a chop are sent by Christian before he
attempts to send Sting to the opposite ropes.
Sting gets the switch, sending Christian into the ropes and as Christian
comes off, Sting delivers a boot then a bulldog. As Sting gets close to the
ropes, AJ grabs his leg and pulls him out to the floor.
Joe is back in the ring waiting for Christian to get up. AJ sends Sting
into the steel steps as Joe takes Christian down in the naked rear choke. AJ
sees what is happening and is back in the ring to break the hold.
AJ and Christian now team up to double team Joe but Joe manages to box
and kick his way out of the corner. Joe sends Christian into the ring post and
delivers a hard forearm, then sends AJ to the opposite corner where he slams
into him with an elbow before delivering a high kick to AJ’s head. AJ and
Christian are both down on the mat. Joe
turns his attention to Christian, choking him with a boot. AJ is back to his
feet and as he tries to get to Joe, Joe delivers a hard kick to the midsection
then sends AJ head first into Christian’s crotch area. As AJ gets up, Joe
delivers a back body drop then goes for the cover. Joe gets a two count before
AJ gets a shoulder off the mat. Joe sets AJ up on the top turnbuckle but
Christian breaks it up. Joe takes
Christian down with a fist, AJ is back on the mat springs off the top rope and
takes Joe down with an inverted DDT. Sting comes off the top rope landing on
Christian and AJ. Sting sends
Christian over the top rope to the floor , then sends AJ through the middle
ropes to the floor. Joe and Sting face off in the center of the ring and...
We go to commercial break.
Back from commercial break,
Sting is delivering a series of blows to Joe, Joe ducks and delivers a high kick
to Sting’s skull. We see replays of what happened during the commercial break:
Sting picks Christian up high in the air and drops him to the floor
outside the ring while Joe sends AJ out of the ring over the top rope, catching
him on the rope on the way down to the floor. Back to real time, Joe catapults
Sting into AJ who is on the ring apron trying to get back into the match. Sting
is still on his feet and charges at Joe, who slams Sting to the mat and goes for
the pin. Joe gets a two count before Sting powers out. Joe picks Sting up,
delivers a fist and sends Sting into the ring post. As Joe charges Sting with an
elbow, Sting gets out of the way and Joe connects with the turnbuckle. Sting
goes to the opposite ring post and charges Joe, but Joe sidesteps and Stings
body goes into the corner post. Joe is outside on the apron going to the top
rope but Sting climbs the ropes on the inside of the ring. Sting manages to get
the edge and tosses Joe over his head onto the mat. AJ makes the most of both
men on the mat and attempts to pin Sting. AJ gets a two count. Christian
attempts to cover Joe but AJ breaks it up.
Christian and AJ have a verbal disagreement, Christian heads toward
Sting, but AJ rolls Christian up and tries for the pin.
Christian kicks out and as AJ comes at him again, he sweeps AJ’s legs,
sending him to the mat. Christian goes for the pin and gets a two count. AJ flips
over Christian and gets his shoulders down, but Christian bridges out, flips AJ
over and tries to set AJ up for the backslide.
Christian gets a two count. Christian
immediately goes after AJ, delivering a hard chop then chokes him. When the
referee does the count, Christian delivers shoulder blocks to AJ’s abdomen,
slamming him into the corner post. Christian sends AJ into the opposite corner
post but when he charges, AJ gets a boot up and stops Christian. AJ goes to the
top rope, Christian gets out of the way, AJ lands on his feet, AJ delivers a
kick to Christian’s abdomen and tries to set Christian up for a pin but Sting
breaks it up. AJ ducks Sting’s
forearm and does a peleg to deliver a boot to Sting’s head. Joe is up and he
and AJ meet mid ring with clotheslines. Christian is the only one on his feet and he is on the apron
going around the ring. Christian goes up to the top rope and dives in the
direction of Joe and AJ but they get out of the way and Christian is face first
on the mat. All four men are now down in the ring. The camera pans to Kurt to
show his amazement at what is happening in the ring (we know it’s because Kurt
wishes he could work the ring like these four men) and the referee is counting.
Sting is first to his feet, AJ is up second with the help of the ropes.
Christian is up and heading for Sting. Sting
flips Christian up and over his head and the top rope sending Christian face
first to the floor. AJ nails Sting in the back sending him through the ropes.
Joe is up to one knee on the opposite side of the ring as we see Sting tumble
off the ring apron and to the floor near Christian. Joe is up and comes after AJ,
sending him over the top rope. AJ manages to stay on his feet on the ring apron but Joe
sends him to the floor with a forearm. Joe goes back to the ropes and flies
across the top rope taking down the three men on the floor. All four men are
down on the floor and…
Back from commercial break,
Christian, the only one on his feet, is in the ring with Sting and AJ.
There is no sign of Joe. Christian uses the ropes to put a standing choke
on Sting and then we see replays of what happened during the commercial break.
Christian hits Joe with a low blow before dropping him forehead first
onto the floor outside. Back to
real time and AJ and Christian are working on Sting. They hit Sting with a
double suplex and Christian goes for what we think is the pin but Christian
turns it into a chokehold forcing the referee to break it up. As Christian keeps
the referee occupied, AJ goes for the choke on Sting. Christian scrapes
Sting’s forehead with his boot and then Christian and AJ stop to chat. They
get Sting to his feet but Sting fights to get free.
Sting sends AJ into a ring post then sends Christian after him. As Sting
delivers a stinger splash, Christian moves out of the way leaving AJ to take the
full force of the blow from Sting’s body. Sting and Christian lock up and
Sting takes Christian down with a scorpion death drop and covers Christian with
an arm. The referee gets to the
count of two before AJ breaks up the count. AJ is on his feet, Christian is on
his knees and Sting is down on the mat. AJ says something to Christian and
Christian heads out of the ring and grabs a steel chair. Joe, still outside the
ring, is on his feet and he takes the chair away from Christian and swings it at
him. Christian gets out of the way
and the chair connects with the ring post. Joe slams a fist into Christian and
then sends him into Andover the announcer’s table.
It’s now Joe and Christian fighting outside of the ring and Joe slams
Christian into a wall before they head out of the arena.
AJ and Sting are still in the ring.
Sting is down and AJ is working to take the padding off of one of the top
turnbuckles. With the referee busy trying to stop AJ, Tomko enters the ring as
Sting is trying to get to his feet. As Sting stands up, Tomko delivers a boot to
the side of Sting’s face sending Sting crashing once again to the mat. AJ,
smiling, covers Sting, but only gets a two count before Sting gets a shoulder
up. AJ can’t believe the count and argues with the referee. AJ goes out on the
ring apron and springboards off of the top rope, but Sting catches him, sending
a shoulder block into AJ’s abdomen. Sting then sets AJ up for the scorpion.
AJ taps out and Sting wins the match making Sting Kurt’s tag team
partner. Kurt does not look happy. Kurt enters the ring carrying the two gold
belts to give Sting his tag team belt. Karen hands the belts to Sting.
Kurt extends a hand and Kurt and Sting shake hands.
Kurt heads up the ramp to
leave the arena as Team Pacman enters the ring to take Sting down.
Correction, as The Truth takes Sting down. Jones spray paints the word
Pac on Stings back but Kurt enters the ring running The Truth and Jones out onto
the floor.
This has got to be one
of the best matches I have seen. It certainly
was the greatest action in this hour of iMPACT. I know the audience
favored Joe and Sting but AJ and Christian certainly didn’t hold anything
back. All four of these men worked
the ring like the pros they are and kept us glued to the screen.
AJ may be good at playing the screw up outside the ring but in the ring
he can still produce magic and you can see it on his face. He is intent on
what he is doing in the six-sided ring. Joe
has never been able to disappoint the fans in any match he works.
Watching Joe's moves is a pure adrenaline rush. Sting was superb and
stayed right in there with the rest of the players.
I personally thought this was the best he
has been in quite some time. Christian is something to watch in the ring
as well. In a few more years
Christian should be able to claim the moniker “The Second Dirtiest Player in
the Game” hands down. That is not an insult, Christian. Joe and
his fire dancers have the best entrance going in TNA. Even when Joe isn’t
dancing with them, it is a fantastic entrance. Sting has a decent entrance
even though he doesn’t have any fire dancers around. The problem with this
match was that it was the last thing shown, we kept getting interrupted by
commercial breaks and non TNA fans tuning in to check out TNA action would have
been easily bored and inclined to channel surf.
The television audience
already lost a fast paced high flying match in order to hear Karen Angle run her
mouth, Give us a break TNA. Couldn’t someone have offered her a ride to the
strip club Christian knew about down the street?
I heard Jim Cornette was
ill and that was why he would not be on iMPACT this week. Maybe Cornette is hiding from the pure joke that has become
TNA in the last few weeks. It would make me sick
too. At least when Cornettee is running his mouth he is funny. With
the exception of the final match, what a waste of TV airtime. Jones is not going
to hold the audience. Nobody is buying into the Team Pacman gimmick. The Angles
are not going to hold the audience. The
open challenge match that we missed earlier might have held them but we will
never know because the TV audience got ripped off and didn’t get to see it.
And the best match of the night had unnecessary interruptions.
TNA could have shown commercials during all of the Angles backstage
blather and given wrestling fans what they really wanted.
TNA has the ability to boost the ratings, has the talent to do it,
and then they go and pull this kind of garbage.
TNA iMPACT !! / THURSDAY AUGUST 23 / PLAY-BY-PLAY ANALYSIS AND COMMENTARY BY SASSY
TNA Wrestling . Com
Wrestling Bodyslam . Com