Tjis is a parody of Lewis Sachar's story,"Love and a Dead Rat" from Wayside School is Falling Down. I was just thinking about it while watching Pokemon and thought it would be funny. So, here's my story, called "Love and a Dead Fish."
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Cardcaptors, even though I want to so I can be FILTHY STINKIN' RICH, but not all of us are that lucky. I only own the dead fish, the guy Corey, the teacher, and the idiot, John. Plus, I'm using Li for Syaoran because it's shorter^^.
Li was staring at the back of Sakura's head.
"Li."
He didn't hear the teacher call him. He just kept staring at Sakura's head.
"LI."
He still didn't hear the teacher.
"LLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!" the teacher yelled, sending half the kids in the front row crashing into the back wall.
"Yeah?" he answered dreamily.
"WOULD YOU MIND COMING BACK TO EARTH AND TELLING ME WHAT'S SO INTERESTING ABOUT THE BACK OF SAKURA'S HEAD?!" The teacher started whezzing, his shirt torn and his glasses half off his face.
Li felt his face turning read. He could hear snickering and giggling from the front of the classroom. "Um,"Li stammered. "I, uh,...."
"I DON'T WANNA HEAR EXUCES, YOU HAVE DETENTION AGAIN! NOW, WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME THE THE ANSWER TO THE PROBLEM ON THE BOARD?!"
"Um, 20." The teacher took a deep breath, silently counted to ten, then said, "Very good, Li. But you still have detention."
Oh, man! Li thought as he tried to burn holes in the back of the teacher's head. This was the fith time he's had detention this week! Just then, the bell rang for lunch. Li slowly got up and trudged towards the door. He watched Sakura talk to her friends before she headed down the stairs for lunch. Man, she's cute! Li thought as he followed her.
"Hey, Li!" he heard one of the guys in his math class call.
"Hey, Corey," Li replied. "Hey, John."
"WAZZZAAAAPPPP!!!!" John said, hanging off Corey by one arm, swinging like a drunk.
"That was one impressive show you put one in math earlier," Corey commented. "Detention for the fifth time in two days. You've set the record." They sat down to eat. The lunchroom was noisey, so Li didn't quite hear John when he came up with his hypothosis.
"You like her, doncha!"
"Hmm?"Li asked, alarmed.
"I said,'YOU LIKE HER, DONCHA!'"
"No I don't!" He thought a minute, the added,"Like who?"
"SAKURA, YOU DUMBAs..." The nearest lunch superviser glared at him before he finished. "Butt."
"NO I DON'T!" he cried, his face redder than the empty Tang pouch being thrown across the room.
"Prove it, then," Corey said.
"How?" Li asked
"PUT A DEAD FISH IN HER DESK!" John brayed, standing up to fast and falling over his chair. The only thing Sakura hated more than ghosts were dead fish.
"Where's he gonna get a dead fish before last period?" Corey asked.
"THERE'S TONS OF 'EM IN THA BASMENT!" John yelled loud enough for the whole lunchroom to hear."PLUS, MY MOMMA PACKED ONE FOR ME!"
"Uh,boy," Corey said, rolling his eyes and sweatdropping. "The things this guy eats.>_< I don't wanna even think about it." So, Li went back to class early and risked getting another detention as he slipped the dead fish into Sakura's desk. He then ran back to the yard outside the lunchroom where people waited for thier teachers.
"What's wrong,Li?" he heard a sweet voice ask. "You look pale."
"I'm fine, Sakura," Li snapped. He then kicked himself mentally and repeatedly in the stomach for snapping at her and putting the dead fish in her desk. But it was to late to go back and get it.
"POP QUIZ!" the teacher yelled. "Get out a pencil and a sheet of paper."
Suddenly, Sakura screamed like someone was tearing her arm off. She held the dead fish up by it's tail, walked to the trashcan, and dropped it in. "Alright!" she snapped, spinning around. "WHO PUT THAT IN MY DESK?!"
"SAKURA, YOU HAVE DETENTION FOR YELLING DURING A QUIZ!" the teacher yelled at her. She sat down, grumbling. Li somehow made it through the day, and when the bell that dismissed the detention students rang, the detention teacher was the first to leave, followed by everyone but Sakura and Li.
"Um, Sakura?" Li asked cautiously.
"What?" she grumbled.
"Um, about that fish..."
"Yes, I know you did it, but why?" Li was shocked. How did she know? I guess she saw it in my eyes, he answered himself.
"The guys were making fun of me because I..........." he stopped himself. Should I tell her? "Because I like you."
"You shouldn't have done it."
"I know, I wanted to go back and get it, but it was too late, and I...."
*GET TO THE MUSHEY PART ALREADY!* the aueince yelled.
ALTERNATE ENDING #1
"ALRIGHT ALREADY!" Li yelled back. "I love you Sakura."
"I love you, Li."
"THE TWO OF YOU ARE MAKING ME SICK!" said the dead fish. He got out of the trashcan and walked out of the room.
ALTERNATE ENDING #2
"SHADDDAP, BEFORE I SIC MY DOG ON YA!" Li called back, then ducked a shower of rotten fruit." YA DON'T BELIVE ME?! GETTEM, KILLA!"
Killa: ROW! ROW!ROWROWROWROWROWROWROWROWROWROWROWROW!
Audeince: AHHH! RUN!!! etc.
ALTERNATE ENDING #3
"I love you, Sakura."
"IloveyoutobutnowI'vegottagethomeseeyalatercallyabye!" Sakura said, running out of the room as fast as she could.
ALTERNATE ENDING #4
"I love you, Sakura."
"I love you to, Li." They pulled closer for a kiss right as the teacher came in.
"AHHHH! Public display!" he cried. They all stared at each other for a full two minutes, then broke up with laughter.
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So, wa'd ya'll think? This is my fist fanfic that is actally good. So, e-mail me with comments/ flames/ questions at chrissyd160@hotmail.com Thanx for reading this!