Once known as a "Hamanish" Middle Eastern city, Shushan has become what some might call "Estherial." It's a double-walled oasis, with several nearby villages. Since the new Queen rose in power, many of the ethnic community have been spending more time and money inside the outer wall. A few, including one we're about to meet, now have occasion to visit inside the palace.

Let's walk, then, the Jewish Friendship Trek of Shushan...careful, as we approach the well-used side gate to the outer wall, try not to get hung up at any particular site:

• (1) Our first stop is just outside the City walls. You might recognize, the bearded overdressed, intelligent looking purveyor of ice cream at his perennial post. That's right, its Mordi & his Kosher glidah (ice cream, for those who haven't walked Tel Aviv beach) peddler cart. Notice that we're just outside Shushan's Dung Gate, so the odors are not from the ice cream. Mordi likes his location because sooner or later, everyone needs to pass by him. In fact, the question he gets asked most frequently, is "Where are the facilities?" His response always is the same "Don't go until you buy my glidah."
  
  
• (2) Look up, high above the Dung Gate, on top of the City's outer wall. There, you'll sometimes see, broadcasting with her megaphone, Dr. Ruse. Her station is known by the call letters W*H*A*W - an acronym for We Hear All from the Wall. When broadcasting with her megaphone from on top of the wall, Dr. Ruse is well-positioned so that she can take questions from royality inside the City as well as from riff-raff purveyors outside Shushan's wall.

  Dr. Ruse is the second in a long line of Drs. Ruse born with a Talmudic attitude toward sex - her commentaries are either extensive or direct. She also is very PC or adaptable. For example, one day the King called up and asked her whether one should satisfy himself after executing a Queen. Dr. Ruse' immediate comment was "Yes." Totally dissatisfied with her opinion, the King intimated that broadcasters also are dispensable. Realizing a more politically correct comment was required, she quickly rephrased her opinion to say that a King might seek solace in his harem and/or add a new wife or two. Anyway, now she and Ahasuevros, often share late night chit-chat on the air - should we say, on the wall.
  
  

• (3) Just inside the City's outer wall, after passing through the Dung Gate, we see the one room shack which houses the City's leading newspaper, The Shushan Times. The paper's (or papyrus') editorial policy and logo is "All the news to please a King."

  The Shushan Times has been published by the Ben Yehudah family for centuries, passed down from generation to generation from the well-known, crackerjack reporter and editor named Ezra. Ezra was so good that people, even today, recognize his writing without a last name in his byline.

  The Shushan Times prides itself on avoiding controversy by sticking to fallacies, misunderstandings, myths, and Loshon Hara. In fact, when one of the King's advisors, Bigdeal, prior to his own dismemberment for plotting to shorten the kings's reign, accused the paper of investigative reporting; he received a prompt response from Katherine Ben Yehudah, the first woman publisher in Persia. She said proudly (and I quote) "The quality of our reporting has earned us a place right here next to the Dung Gate."

  The Shushan Times first use of 3 inch bold headlines on its front page occurred on Adar 14, after the demise of the infamous, Shushan villain named Haman. On that day, the local bakery, known as Taam Rah, switched to all Kosher ingredients, decided to stay closed on Shabbos, and introduced a 3-cornered, laxative pastry, which was an immediate hit with Shushan's senior citizens.
  
  

• (4) Proceeding down the main street, Derech Hamelech, toward the palace, we pass by the popular Shushan Deli (which also switched to Kosher after Haman's demise, and stopped serving "Ham-an eggs"). The Shushan Deli serves a variation of one familiar dish.

  The story goes that one time the King asked Esther "What do Jews eat for lunch?" and she responded "We don't make a big tsimmes out of the noontime meal outside of the Holy Land." Since that time, beside "chips," tsimmes is added to the felafel sandwiches.
  
  

• (5) Moving on, we pass through the City's inner wall onto the palace grounds. The first (and quite magnificant) thing we see as we come within these inner walls is the Shushan Superdome which was just completed a couple of years ago.

  It originally was conceived by one of the King's Advisors named Bigdome. In fact, he and his fellow co-advisor, Bigdeal, are no longer working for the King. While its original purpose was to accommodate big suppers and spectator hangings, today it chiefly is used for bingo nights, antique shows, and exhibitions.
  
  

• (6) The next site on the palace grounds is the tiny Eunuchs' Shul. It's hidden in one corner of the Palace, just outside the harem itself. It serves a fairly well defined daily minyan whose popularity has increased since Haman left power.

  The Eunuchs' Shul's Aron Kodish (the ark, of course) purportedly was designed and built by an early immigrant carpenter in Shushan, who was looking for opportunities to use his woodworking skills (not an easy task in a country where trees don't exactly grow in forests). Notice, the handcarved lions and the Star Trek split finger decorative touches.
  
  

• (7) Further, on the palace grounds, is Esther's studio apartment in one corner of the harem. She's not exactly a neatness freak so we might have to push things aside to look in.

  Notice the dressers and shelves brim full with jars and bottles. Esther, particularly, is adept at formulating and bottling oils, perfumes and make-up. She also has a great wine collection. The King didn't stand a chance of choosing anyone other than her when she visited him well-adorned with her parfumary creations and two wine flasks. These days, she is packaging some of these perfumes under the brand name of "Intoxicate." Check out the souvenir shop later if you would like to purchase a bottle.
  
  

• (8) Our last site in the palace is the King's boudoir. We're only allowed to stay a minute, so open your eyes wide. That 100 yard long, 25 yard wide four poster king size bed in front of us is marked with off-sides lines, end-zones, and newly laid sheets of satin and flax. Now that Esther is both quarterback and coach here, she is trying to convince the King to install more dressers and shelves as well as a CossackTrak jogging machine.

  Esther also is trying to persuade the King to place a mezuzah on the boudoir's entrance door. That may have to wait, however, until she and the King resolve the question of how they are going to raise their kids. Esther is insistent that the children be raised Jewish. To help in this regard, Mordecai has suggested to Esther that she read to the King each night a chapter from Blu Greenberg's latest book, "How to Keep a Kosher Palace."
  
  

• (9) Our final site on this walking tour of Shushan can be found just before we leave the Palace grounds. It's the Shu-Shu-Shushan Seforim and Souvenir Shop. It's quite large and already has an extensive collection of books and gifts. Everything from early editions of The Babylonian Talmud to groggers and three-cornered baking utensils. It, also, now is featuring a most recent line of "Gifts by Esther." These include her perfume "Intoxicate" and her book, "Tznius in the Harem." A fine purchase to remember this modest tour by.