today, today, today~
Now Playing: there is a longing in our hearts, O God~

...
_{-where to start?}

Today is the celebration of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus (and I made it to Mass just in time for Eucharist but not in time for the Scripture readings or the homily/sermon beforehand since I was late *left house at roughly 8:15am or so...*)

and today's second Mass reading is: Romans 5:5-11 (with only the second half of verse 5:5 to start with)

here's a slightly shortened version of that reading as I have it in my Bible:

-hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our heart through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.

Indeed, rarely will anyone die for a righteous person- though perhaps for a good person someone might actually dare to die.*
_{(alternate translation of verse: "Indeed, only with difficulty does one die for a just person, though perhaps for a good person one might even find courage to die.)}

Verse Nine omitted for brevity.

For if while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, much more surely, having been reconciled, will we be saved by his life.

But more than that, we even boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

*_{I like the alternate translation which makes use of the powerful word, "Courage" much better!}


-so... if Christ is good enough and so loving that he would go to the Extreme deep end of misery (and beyond) to save Humankind then there is no need for me to indulge in the evil and cruelty of Misanthropy _-sigh-

honestly... it isn't easy to love other people after awhile- after being hurt by them and seeing the horrible things that others do so many times, over and over again

but if God forgives, and he gives me that same strength and power then I will so do too.

Praise be to God!~

<sub>...and so life goes on~


-aside from that, I will see about changing one of the links on the sidebar again... Spirit FM recently had their website revamped so their [Thought of the Day] page has changed.</sub>

good words should not fade from memory
_{for those sorts of things should be remembered for posterity, for one's future wisdom instead...}


^{sashiburi da ne...}
-it has been quite awhile since I last posted here (and today is the first time that I shall be doing so with the use of Opera 9.10~)

Sunday June 3^rd, was the celebration of the Most Holy Trinity in which the church meditated upon the wonder and mystery of our Lord, the Triune God- it's amazing to see the three different parts of Him that come together to be whole and magnificent

Deacon Rick's homily (or rather, was it actually a "sermon" in this case?) touched lightly on quite a few things, but it was the short list of the attributes of the Trinity that made me pause... and upon futher reflection of my own heart made me weep openly. _-sigh-


With regards to how we should imitate- no, follow the Trinity for the sake of holiness:

-Love like God the Father
_{He created a world and all its details and the people who live on it out of sheer love, out of wanting to create despite not needing anything and knowing the entire future and all its possibilities...}

-Forgive like the Son of God, Jesus Christ
_{that God himself is humble enough to take on human form to give us a physical example of how to live rightly and to go so far as to suffer EVERYTHING on a Cross and in the midst of his dying and pain say, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do" is very humbling and even chilling when one stops to think about it...}

-be Life-giving as the Holy Spirit is!
_{that in our speech and through all the words we say that we do not spend all our time and energy in breaking others down and speaking discourteously and uncharitably of them- that we give life and spread the good news instead, that that is what we should do with the gift of language...}

that in a nutshell, is the fine gift that I was able to receive in attending the 6pm Mass (albeit a bit late) that evening (and then I went out with some friends afterwards~ but that's another story <3 )

<sub>my, I take too long in putting these things down. I love recording and keeping journals, blogs and diaries but I neglect them too much in my pursuits of other things! =_=+ ... )

-odd, I seem to be encountering a few snags in posting this while using the Opera browser so I'm going to have to leave this in a rough state since I'm not able to preview my entry work without posting or saving as a draft '.'??</sub>



****
EDIT: it is 10:34am on Friday- June 15^th of the 2007^th year of Our Lord A.D. that I make this edit...

I logged into my blog account here and saw that this entry from June 5^th never made it out onto the internet- I don't know why that is, but I'm going to post this first and then the rest of what I have to say for today next~

_{I guess Opera 9.10 doesn't work too well with this blog, maybe after I upgrade to a higher version I could try blogging here with that lovely browser again <3}

my foolishness continues beyond April 1st...
Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: Setsumi's theme from Narcissu...
Topic: seasonal

-there's a lot of meaning behind the title that I chose, but I lack the time to dig further into that now (since it is almost midnight and I need the sleep so I can rise early! >_<; ) but from what I wrote yesterday, some of that meaning should be rather obvious...

Anyway, I see now that I keep falling into pride- or rather something in that family of sin since I keep finding myself ever-so-amazed and struck hard by the mistakes that I make- it hurts me so much that I let myself get into trouble (or think that I am) since I let opportunities for wonderful things pass me by. I find myself sinking into depressed states over these things (which is sad because people usually despair of not being able to see God's mercy, whereas I see it and even ask for it but am deeply saddened when it comes since I feel like I do not deserve it- which I logically know to be foolishness, but what kind?)

in these final days of Lent, I am still off-track (it is true that I am getting somewhere with one of the things I resolved to do since I will soon be employed, but somehow this doesn't bring me much happiness- I don't get it? actually, I do comprehend why this is so but it is hard for me to put that thought into a tangible format) even now I am straying! (or at least it seems that way to me) since I can't even stay focused in saying one thing- I keep stringing my thoughts together?

-what is really undoing me now is my lack of action on things that I've known that God wants me to do... it is quite plausible that I am suffering now since He's pushing me off in the right direction and I am stubbornly refusing to go forward since I'm hesitating with my fears. The other thing that is unraveling my peace is the fact that I've left so many tasks undone for awhile now- true, my messy room isn't deadly and will not commit any murders, but it is so frustrating that things are still in such poor order and disarrayed about my living space! ;_; -sigh-

_{not to mention}

I -WANT- to go talk with my Spiritual Director! I've been putting off on doing so and remained aloof from him with my problems for far TOO LONG now!!

<sup>-whew.

I am so glad that I got that all off my chest (and before Midnight too~ <3) ...yay.</sup>

Good Night!

-Daiko~
^{(please Pray for me...)}

...final days and beginnings
Mood:  sad
Topic: seasonal

I haven't posted here since last month- originally, that wasn't my intention but I let the days fly past me and ended up being too free with regards to my Lenten Restrictions (next time, I'm definitely going to write down what it is that I will and won't do so that I may have a solid guideline to follow rather than being willy-nilly _-sigh-)

I finished Proverbs some time ago, and strayed from my daily readings from my Bible (I was in Psalms by the way- great stuff there~) -I had a hard time focusing and ended up dropping my reading from my daily routine (but just because it was hard on me at times doesn't give me a good excuse for quitting the fine practice altogether...) I think I need to return to this discipline and take up Lectio Divina yet again (yes, I want to do so in the future).


Anyway, this blog post is titled, "Final Days and Beginnings" since with this week being Holy Week, Lent is coming to a close and the season in which the Resurrection of the Christ is celebrated will begin soon. I feel as if I will miss Lent somehow... not only because I missed opportunities during this time, or because I wanted to do better in sticking to what I had resolved to do, but because for some reason this season felt so short this year- other Lents lingered longer in my memory and the duration in which I lived them seemed to remain with me more.

-why is this so?

...

_{(I'll chew on that mentally for awhile
and I'll see about posting more in the future~)}



-Daiko~
^{(pray for me)}

I want to keep going {I DO!}
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: quotations (Scripture)

<sup>I wish that I could assign multiple topic labels to my blog entries on this account (it is a crying shame that Angelfire doesn't have a tagging system for their hosted blogs but then, I like that kind of Web2.0 stuff... _-sigh-)

-ack! I floundered through time a bit today- err, I did better at getting things done and even cooked two things (Spinach Lasagna and Stuffed Peppers from scratch -with the peppers being a new recipe for me~) but I should have posted here earlier since I almost neglected to do so

I even have a good selection from Psalms for typing out, but my time earlier online got eaten up greatly since I was looking at the LJ of LK (of Y-tube fame) -heh, and I gave up watching his abridged series as one of my Lenten restrictions too (I need not court temptation, but I do like reading what he has to say even if I won't be watching his works for awhile... )</sup>


Anyway, here is Psalms 61:1-5:

Hear my cry, O my God; listen to my prayer.
From the end of the Earth I call to you, when my heart is faint.

Lead me to the rock that is higher than I; for you are my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.

Let me abide in your tent forever, find refuge under the shelter of your wings.

For you, O God, have heard my vows; you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.

^{superfluous ramblings...}

-and so, I have almost reached the end of today

Praise be to God~

a head like a leaky bucket [have I... ]
Topic: seasonal

^{since I have so many thoughts and memories that I've not kept track of- they run in and out of my mind and of today's three artistic inspirations (actually, more than that...) I have clung hard to one only. -still, though that is true today I have spent my time in working and have seen to mortifying myself by not first indulging in the things I wish to do and neglecting housework, but in cleaning and cooking instead. I still have a long way to go [with regards to refinement and improving my soul this Lent] though...}


[Anyway,] today's Lenten meditation from the Magnificat bears this title:

The Love for Which Our Heart Is Made
and focuses on the Gospel reading from the Mass (Luke 16:19-31) -it takes a different look at the parable about Lazarus and the rich man, emphasizing that we are not to merely be aware of the poor and take action to help them (which is a good and needed message heard quite often at times) but that to live well [so as not to become a citizen of Hell] one's heart must learn to love God, and that in perfect love of God then [and only then] will we be able to see what is around us and take good action.

and so, with that in mind, today's penance is to:

Do something charitable for the homeless.

-after seeing that, I immediately recalled "Tent City" since it had been in the recent news for Florida for quite awhile, but when I went to look it up on Google I clicked on the sponsored link instead -that lead me to these three good local charities:

[Hope Children's Home]
[American Association of Kidney Patients]
[Florida West Coast Public Broadcasting]

obviously, it is the first of these in the list that is the most pertinent and relative to today's penance, but I am interested in all three since they are good causes (with the best being the first of course) -I wonder what kinds of payment they accept...

also, I still have so many clothes and things that I want to give away/donate after I go through a good through spring cleaning of my possessions so I could start with that today as well...

_{and in other news, I finally finished reading through Proverbs and have started reading through the Psalms (I didn't start from the beginning of that fine book through since I fell upon an area that I bookmarked- the part in which David asks God for forgiveness after being visited by the prophet Nathan after committing adultery with Bathsheba...)}

I'm running out (but not running dry)
Topic: seasonal

-again, today I don't have anything easily coming to mind with regards of what I should type (regarding my Lenten meditations?)

I did read all of chapter 29 of Proverbs, and there is lots of great wisdom to be found there (as always) but I don't know what to type really _-sigh-

-actually, [today's Gospel reading] and Magnificat meditation are very good, so I'll shift my focus there for now...

Today's suggested penance:
Serve someone today with love.

^{this is really fitting [for me today] since earlier on during the morning, I was struggling to do so- I'm going to do this at least once for someone this evening whether or not I am at home or at a friend's house...}

I am missing out
Topic: seasonal

I'm missing out since I have been missing days of posting here (specifically, I'm talking about the past few days before and during the time I typed up this post) and today this entry will be lacking substance since I can't seem to type anything- no, since I don't know what to write for today. _-sigh-

I missed out yesterday since I completely didn't read a single word of Proverbs (and the two days before that, I was in travel and left my Bible at home so I wasn't able to read it- still, I had my Magnificat with me in my purse but it remained there neglected despite the fact that I brought it with me to make sure I'd read it! -rrr- _{*slightly frustrated at self*}) but today, I went on a multi-chapter reading binge~

(that was fun, but I doubt that that was rather much productive in the short-term since I fell into sin soon after -sigh- don't seem to have taken much from my reading as well. -_-; ...)

-so, here's a little bit about one of the times that I've strayed and fallen off the path during my Lenten journey (for 2007, that is).




-Daiko~
_{(-sigh-)
(Pray for me please... )}

Proverbs 13:1-6
Topic: quotations (Scripture)

_{a few non-related musings...}

...

A wise child loves discipline, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.

From the fruit of their words good persons eat good things,
but the desire of the treacherous is for wrongdoing.

Those who guard their mouths preserve their lives;
those who open wide their lips come to ruin.

The appetite of the lazy craves, and gets nothing,
while the appetite of the diligent is richly supplied.

The righteous hate falsehood,
but the wicked act shamefully and disgracefully.

Righteousness guards one whose way is upright, but sin overthrows the wicked.

-I'll see about going over the rest soon~

I want meaning, and victory everlasting as well.
Topic: seasonal

Today I read some of Proverbs, but I was interrupted during my meditations and reading of that good book since I started late this morning and my family had brunch together at that time- I went through the Magnificat Lenten companion and today's reading and penance really spoke to me

-thing is, I don't know how to "Pray with special insistence for the most pressing petitions in your life." (or at least, I acknowledge that I am not able to do so well without a sense of urgency driving me on -_-; ...)

aside from the above, I'll pray the words that were given after the reflection from Meredith Gould based on Matthew 7:7-12

Loving Father, make all of my life a Yes of constant, heartfelt prayer.

Lord, please help me- I can't do any thing at ALL without you...