-(Online)
Taylor: I probably could, but I don't really want to sew it all be hand...
Jeff has entered the room.
Brian: Speaking of by hand.
-(Online)
Me: Is Erica near you?
Sean: No.
Me: Is she dead?
Sean: Yes.
Sean: In my trunk.
Me: Ah.
Me: Well that solves that mystery.
-(Online)
Jeff: I think I rubbed off part of my thumb.
Me: ....what?
Jeff: I was rubbing my shirt edge on my thumb and now my thumb hurts where I rubbed it.
(Responding many minutes later)
Me: Well then.
Jeff: Took you long enough.
Jeff:: What if this were a symptom of cancer and I'm already dead?
Jeff: Now I can't type a space properly.
-Me: POPCORN
Brian: COP PORN
-Erica: And I mean it.
Me: Anybody want a peanut?
-(Online)
Greg: Damn it, I can't shoot Ada1
Me: Damn.
Me: How about Ada2?
Greg: Lemme check.
Greg: ...bitch
-Me: For shizzle.
Erica: My nizzle?
-Taylor: DAMN SPELLING ERRORS!
Taylor: I was looking at some code for like 30 minutes and I misspelled 'horizontal'.
Brian: Oooh, sex code.
-(Online)
Erica: Gah.
Me: What?
Erica: There's a giant advertisement with man thongs on it.
-Me: Leon got beheaded ;_;
Elizabeth: ;_;
Elizabeth: Duct tape?
-(Online)
Me: HAHAHAHHAHA
Me: COLTS LOSE, COLTS LOSE!
Brian: Hell yeah they did! To Dan Diego!
Me: Who's Dan Diego?
Brian: He's San's brother.
-(Online)
Elizabeth: Our water is off =(
Elizabeth: Til 2 AM.
Elizabeth: And I have to peeeeeeeee
Me: Well, you can still pee, just don't flush.
Elizabeth: NOOOOOOO
Elizabeth: What if poop comes out?
(Quoted to Fred)
Fred: WHAT IF YOUR MOM COMES OUT!!!!?!?!?!?!
Fred: OHHHH SNAHHHP!!!!
Me: I'm pretty sure my mother is a concrete heterosexual.
Me: :D
Fred: >3
Fred: Not for long.
Me: O RLY
Fred: Not after I get to her.
Me: You're going to turn her homosexual?
Fred: Wait... I just dissed myself... FUCK
Me: HEE HEE
Fred: I REGRET NOTHING!!!
(Quoted to Brian)
Brian: Nice. Takes a man of real talent to nail himself that well.
Me: ...
Brian: That can be said in more than a few contexts, apparently.
-(Online)
Brian: What is the reason Indiannapolis didn't go to the Superbowl?
Me: Because they spelled their city's name wrong?
Brian: Yup. What happened was, they spelled it wrong, and the kicker noticed at the last second, forcing him to kick waaaaayyy wide.
-Phil: Mr. Miyagi could totally take Krauser.
Me: He's dead.
Phil: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
-(Online)
Me: I have a poll for you.
Zak: I have one for you, too.
Me: I think you're thinking of pole.
Zak: Oh yeah.
-(Online)
Me: Are you going to rape me?
SmarterChild: Why would I want to hurt you?
Me: Because you're a rapist.
SmarterChild: I'm not prejudiced at all. Speaking of CURRENT_CHAT_SUBJECT.name, you should check this out: Keira Knightley news - Trusted source for Keira
Knightley news, media and information.
-(Online)
Me: What a perv.
Shawn L.: I haven't seen him in months.
Shawn L.: Hell, I haven't seen anyone in months
Me: That's because you touch yourself at night.
Shawn L.: Nah. Too busy being bored.
Me: That small, huh?
Shawn L.: I'm not even getting into that conversation.
-Me: Is it this picture?
Brian: well by golly, it sure iss
Brian: or is
Brian: you're goo
Brian: screw liquid, or solid, you're goo
-Me: Jurassik!
Brian: hah, with a k
Brian: ...I almost spelled k as "cay"
Me: ....
-Me: But you're you
Me: and I'm me
Me: and I like it like that
Me: so don't ever try to steal my body
Erica: heh.
Erica: o.o
Erica: but it's so hawt.
Me: ...
Erica: XD
-Me: true
Me: story
Me: RAWK
Jeff: Do the true story rock? *crazy Chuck Berry guitar intro*
-Me: I AM NAKED
Taylor: awesine
Me: ...
Taylor: ...
-Me: you should
Brian: titally
Brian: ...
Brian: totally
Me: ...
Brian: are you walking down tit alley?
-Elizabeth: Fuck that noise.
Elizabeth: =p
Me: Ok, instruct me on how that works and I will
Elizabeth: First, get an iPod Nano.
Elizabeth: Second, pump up the bass.
Elizabeth: Full volume.
Elizabeth: Download "noise.mp3"
Elizabeth: Or .m4a as iTunes will have you use.
Elizabeth: Insert Nano into vagina.
Elizabeth: Take out.
Elizabeth: Repeat last two steps.
Elizabeth: Until desired result.
Elizabeth: For maximum results, use a 3rd gen iPod.
Elizabeth: And that is how you fuck that noise.
-Me: damn hand cannon
Me: *punches it in the face*
Jeff: *hand cannon explodes in Britt's face*
Me: You replaced 'hand cannon' with 'Jeff's penis', didn't you.
Jeff: Yes, I so want to cover your body with my baby batter