-The freaking kitten just Fatal Blowed me!
~~~Taylor
-"Facon Strips: Vegans don't know it's not bacon!"
~~~Brian
-(Online)
Brian: Really? I would have thought it would be a happy-go-lucky dong?
Brian: Or song.
-(Online)
Brian: Umm, oh.
Brian: *ow
Brian: I spelled oh wrong.
Brian: what the hell?
-(Online)
Brian: Pah
Brian: ...
Brian: I spelled psh wrong.
-Yes. I need to masturbate less and conserve my testosterone.
~~~Alex
-Phil, I'll see you when you get back. If not, I'll see you in hell.
~~~Adam Woods
-(Online)
Taylor: Is Erica going to team with us, or is she too busty with her little 26?
Taylor: Busy***
-You know that dog on the lotion bottle stealing the girl's panties, yeah, I was hired by the city of Milwaukee to be that dog.
~~~Fred
-(Online, to me)
Brian: Wow, you're like super god or something.
Brian: Fucking typos.
-Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
~~~Found somewhere
-I suppose it's time to see what Shawn has done with his life since I left.
~~~Brian
-I like to play with the poles.
~~~Molly
-(Online)
Brian: Hey, at least the balls are rolling and it's finally coming.
Brian: Wow that's dirty.
-I'm a Czechxican.
~~~Roland
-Three cowboys — from Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Texas — are sitting around a fire. The Oklahoma cowboy gloats, “Just the other day, a bull gored six men in the corral, but I wrestled it to the ground with my hands.” The Arkansan replies, “Oh, yeah? Yesterday a 15-foot rattler came at me, so I grabbed it, bit its head off, and spit the poison into a spittoon 15 yards away.” The Texan stays quiet, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.
~~~Joke brought to you by Alex
-(To me)
Taylor: We'll play real life COH. You set yourself on fire... and I'll hit you with a big stone hammer...
-I feel it when you rub it.
~~~Molly
-Britt... When you turn 21 we shall get together and spring out of our sober shells and soar like drunken angels.
~~~Alex
-Ice cream has caused child aggro, one sec please.
~~~Broadcast on CoH
-She's got a cock-eyed eye!
~~~Shawn P.
-35 bucks. e-PCP in your e-mail.
~~~Alex
-Conan Von O'Brien... famous tamer of Irish monsters like McRoar and O'Growl.
~~~Fred
-Why are there balls in my crotch?
~~~Molly
-You can't pitch my chink!
~~~Greg