W'ahhhhh! I don't want to leave Phoenix. Its been so much fun here hanging out with the TV during the day and "working on my thesis" while Todd is sleeping quietly in the other room. :P Its been great to just relax and hang out. I can't complain at all about the weather here, its been sunny and anywhere from mid 70s to high 80s. Not bad for te end of Decemeber. I've probably watched a million hours of various Law and Orders and Judging Amys. The joys of TNT's da da dum Drama in the Daytime. All of the weight loss commercials and ads for retirment programs let me know that I'm an overweight old person if I'm watching all this TV. But, I had to get my fill since I don't get these pleasures in Vienna. Also, I don't know how I'll be able to live without TiVo now. Being with Todd has been great. Yet again, I managed to get in the mindset that we're a normal couple that hangs out all the time instead of a few weeks every few months. Its a weird situation between us because on one hand we've been together for a while now, but if you add up the time we have spent together (in person) its not very long. We have no anniversary or anything like that. We just sort of "happened". It fits both our personalities, but its just a funny thing. I am looking forward to being in Atlanta to see everyone again. I'm only in town for a little while. Hopefully I won't meet with as many disappointments as last year. Thats why I'm only there for 2 weeks - long enough to see who I want but not long enough to get bummed out by disappointments. The big question in the air is still what to do for New Years. It could be a quiet evening because of my darling cousin, but who knows yet. I'm not too worried about it, something will turn up. But I don't want to leave Todd!!!!!!!!!!! Merry Christmas to all! Its been rough celebrating Christmas out in Phoenix. Yesterday the temperature was about 90F (30C) and today we had a chilly 80F (26C). Its a hard life next to the pool with my cold beer looking at the beautifully lit palm trees and fern cacti. Santa brought me excellent gifts (now i have no excuse not to go running) and most importantly, I've been with Todd and his wonderful family. This morning we were greeting with a dazling poem created and recitied by Dave. It brought tears of laughter to everyone. I hope everyone else had an equally wonderful Christmas (I miss everyone tons!)
The roar of the many football games on the TV signals to me that I am back in the states. Its been very strange being back. I had such culture shock when I arrived in the domestic terminal of Chicago. Coming out of the calm bubble of international travelers, I was thrown into a mess of a security line enforced by the loudest and dumbest people I've seen in a year. Then I realized that they were just Americans. Hanging out in the airport, I was chuckling to myself at the bar while listening to all the lame conversations going on. I guess thats what happens when you can easily understand casual conversations. You realize that no one has anything interesting to say. There are just so many people and so many cars and so many commericals everywhere. The commericals are what really gets to me. I forgot that everything is sponsered by some company and you can't go 5 min without watching 1998759834 ads on TV. Buuuut, I was in the groccery store and I was so happy. So many choices of everything! No wonder Americans are huge. There's just too much good food to be eaten and its impossible to make a choice. I wanted 1 donut, but I couldn't decide between all the flavors and I mangaged to narrow it down to only 3. It was hard work! It is good to be around Todd, though. If it weren't for him, I don't think I could stand it. I think we're fooling ourselves into thinking (again) that we're a normal couple that gets to hang out all the time. We've just been going around like normal people. I don't think either of us want to think about how far it will be until the next time we see each other after this trip. There's plenty of time to mope about that later. Now its just time for beers and hanging out by the pool and enjoying the warm sun. Working and deep thinking are taking a backseat to just enjoying the comforts of several giant TVs, a huge fridge, and all the time in the world to lounge. We were in an electronics superstore yesterday looking at appliances and I can't believe the little fridge and TV we have in Vienna compared to the ones sold here. The 3 of us can fit tons of food in our little fridge for a week yet next to the ones here, it looks like a toy. I saw a fridge with a TV built into the door so that you'll never have to miss a moment of TV programs. Ahh, the joy of america.
Ooooh, my liver. It doesn't like me too much right now. I don't think many of my organs in my abdomen like me too much either. I'm just hoping they don't stage a walk-out. That would be bad. I got sick like a dog over the weekend after going out with Johanna on Saturday. Not a bad hangover, but full blown major cold. I'm such a baby when sick. The Finn boys came over Monday night and made pullas while I sat on the couch and whimpered. I managed to stay in the realm of humans until about 9.45 and then I turned into a zombie. Good thing Sami is a pulla master. Quote of the night "I don't know whose pulla is in my oven; there were too many guys over here to tell". Tues night was the Finnish Independence Day party. It was really great. Sami made great lohikeitto and we even had Kosskenkorva. The other people made a mistake of trying to drink as much as we Finns. Silly them. It was fun to bring my flatmates to a typical Erasmus party where we just eat and drink and get totally retarded. We went to Pointers afterwards, thinking there was a finnish party, but it was just a few people sitting around a flag. I talked with the bartender and carried Levi home with Robert. Wednesday was Lilly's birthday celebration at the communist bar around the corner. Then last night we went to see The Best Movie Ever (aka The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe) and went out for drinks afterwards. Nothing too major, but all without much sleep due to the fact that I'm in a horrible Geophysics course right now. It was supposed to be in English. Supposedly...But its taught in German by a German who speaks so fast. I would be two steps behind even if it was in English, but I have a very limited physics vocab so its pretty sucky to sit there. Especially yesterday when it was a national holiday and gorgeous weather. Luckily Robert is also in it so I have someone to duck out with. Tonight is Austrian cultural night. I'm going to see The Sound of Music at the Volksoper with a big group of mostly Austrians. Most Austrians have never seen the movie or musical so it should be quite funny. I don't know how I feel about hearing the songs in German, but I'm sure it'll be great. Somewhere in this week I've also managed to finish a few courses and write tons of EU papers. I'm leaving for America in 4 days and I'm getting more and more excited for my holiday. I'm looking forward to eating all kinds of good things and hanging out with Todd in AZ and the family (Markku too!) and friends in Atlanta. I still don't have New Year's plans, so let me know what you're doing and if I can come too. I am so happy to know that I'm coming back here, though. I haven't done 90% of the things I planned to do while in Vienna so it looks like I'll have a busy summer semester. Hopefully, I'll get everything I want to do in America done so then I'll have more time next term for fun things. PS: Yes, Narnia was that good. I have found my Star Wars. Some points were cheesy, but it is a kids movie. I was transported back to being a kid and reading the books in bed imagining finding my own way to Narnia and having tea with Mr. Tumnus. There were many scenes in the movie that were just like the images I created in my head. The only part that bugged me by the end was Liam Nesson as the voice of Aslan. He's just been in too many of these "guiding mentor" roles that I'm kind of sick of it from him. But it was just a minor annoyance and didn't distract me from the rest of the creatures. The book, of course, was better, but for a movie adaptation I was really stoked. There were all kinds of little points to the early books that are mentioned in the books as well, but you miss if you haven't read the whole series. I just hope that it makes enough money to make the rest of books into movies.
What I wanna do Then I want you to buy me the Grandaddy Landscape Mix Tape Record. You can do that here
Its amazing how one's day can turn from pretty standard to flipped around to completed fucked. And I have feeling and use below my 12th vertebrate. Be thankful for what you have in life. Oddly enough, when you really need someone to be around just so you can cry on their shoulder, there is no one to be found.
11 days till I'm in America. Can it be so fast? Time has flown by! I'm glad that I'm staying until May because if I had to leave now I would throw a fit. I haven't done nearly enough in my first 3 months to make it a successful trip. The spring will be the time for all the trips and culture. I know the next 11 days will fly by as well because there are so many things happening. That means in no time I'll be in the desert decorating cacti for Christmas (Chad be damned). My life now has become consumed with SPSS and statistical models of all kinds. If its not explained with a high R^2 value, I want nothing to do with it. I'm in a modelling course right now which is really interesting and I'm happy about it. It pointed out the difference between Finnish and Austrian students to me. Its a small course made of 9 girls and 1 boy. All of the girls know one another. In Finland, this would mean that they all talk to each other and then ignore me during the breaks and act like I'm invisible. In Austria, it meant that they would cast glances over at me and smile, welcoming me to the group and taking coffee and smoke breaks with me. The joy of a social culture!
Thanksgiving Vienna ed. was a hit. The wonderful Americans (Odessa, Christy, and me) cooked for 2 days for a hungry group of 13 Europeans drooling over the turkey smells. One (1) 6.5 kg (14lbs) turkey that took over 5 hours to cook only took an hour or so to become completely devoured. After careful consideration and much debate between the judges, the best dishes were White Trash broccoli casserole and the pumpkin roll. Thanks to everyone who came over and ate with us. I know that the 3 of us had a blast cooking for everyone and injecting a lil' bit of the South into the 16th district. Sucks if you missed it! But don't despair, there are still leftovers. So PLEASE come over and eat some of this turkey soup that is still sitting on our stove. Just follow your nose down Veronikagasse and you'll find us. [pictures will come later, I promise]
Happy Thanksgiving! For a Thanksgiving video, click here. As I'm cooking up a turkey on Saturday, I wouldn't have realized that today was the actual day if not for the emails from my parents reminding me of what I'm missing back home. They're brining their turkey this year....mmmmm...so good. And Todd is deep frying his......drooool. Mom was nice enough to remind me that we won't get to cook together and that Dad won't be around to schlepp my big turkey. But thats alright, cause they won't know the delictability of my cranberry relish and chutney. Mmmmmm, Thanksgiving food. I love this holiday. I think its my favorite because its all about eating. No church, no presents, no party stress, just cooking and eating until you pass out in front of the football game. Ahh, the wonders of trytophan. :) Today is shopping day. I'm in charge of the turkey, stuffing, and all things cranberry. I just need to find a food chopper or the cranberry stuff might be a bit chunky. I'm supposed to be studying and working the next 2 days as I have an exam next Tuesday, but how can I when there is Thanksgiving to be had?! And since the day after Thanksgiving is the biggest shopping day in the US, I thought I would follow the tacky trend of posting my Christmas list online for anyone that wants to know. I'm too embarassed to actually put it up here, but you can go here if you are interested. I don't expect anything from anyone in Europe (I won't be here for Christmas), but if you're in America and wondering what to get your favorite person living in Austria, I thought I should help you out. Now for proof that I'm cracking up. Last night I had I think 3 dreams that involved Bob Saget. I haven't watched anything related to Bob Saget in months (years even maybe) so I have no idea why he came into my head last night. And the scary thing is that in the last dream, I was DATING Bob Saget and we were at a restaurant together talking to a hostess who was seating us, telling her about how we met when I was only 10 and I pissed him off and made him feel intimidated and how cute it is that we're together now. WHAT THE FUCK?! I think I'm losing it. I'm finding Bob Saget attractive and dreaming about him! (If you don't know who he is here is his Wikipedia entry )
I've finalized my dates for my trip to America. I'll be in Phoenix from Dec 13-30 and then in Atlanta Dec 30-Jan 13. I still haven't sorted out what to do for New Years and right now the only opitions are hanging out with my brother/family or going to Savannah with Bigga and co. But feel free to tempt me with your exciting new years plans as I am always looking for something. Life around here has gotten busier. This is a great sign because it means that my life is settled into something real and I'm not just floating around Vienna anymore. Last Sunday was probably the most sterotypically European thing I've done in my life. It was Weinwandertag (Wine walking day). Basically, we went to the Wine Quarter and walked 12km through 3 drinking stations where we could get gluehwein and other yummy drinks. The point was to get to the Ziel (Goal) which was in the center of the town we started walking in. At the Goal, you could buy a wine glass and then taste all the wines from the cellars. It was an 8 hour day of wine drinking. Simply fantastic. I think I ruined my Chucks in the process, but it was totally worth it. I've also been doing alot of non-work on my thesis. I realized, though, that the only deadline I have is my own and I shouldn't take so much stress over it. I know I'm stressed over the data part because I can't just pop into my advisor's office and ask if something looks right, I just have to figure it out on my own. And despite being in school for the last 2 years, I don't feel like I've learned that much. I guess thats what happens when one chooses a thesis topic far away from a course schedule.....Smart me. I know it'll get done and I'm hoping to have my data in some kind of order by the time I go to the US so that I can start writing there. Once I can start writing it'll be smooth sailing because thats just a grander version of copy paste and I'll have already figured out my results and conclusions by then. This is really making me think of pursuing a more policy based PhD, though. Speaking of PhDs, I had the best chat last night. Emory is still paying off in ways that I wouldn't have imagined. My advisor from Emory (Rusty) gave me the name of a fellow that works in an institute outside of Vienna and suggested that I contact him while I'm here. So I did, which was a big step for me since I had no idea what I wanted to gain from meeting him. But I had nothing to lose. I went over to his house last night and talked with he and his wife about the whole idea of PhDs in America or Europe and where I would want to go and what I would want to do. I think my situation is very similar to theirs when they were younger and also to my parents. It was so nice to be around people that understood stratling the Atlantic and trying to make it work. It didn't help my crisis of America, though. Jan put the seed in my head that I could do my PhD over here in Europe and start my networking that way. Bascially, wherever I do my PhD is where I should be thinking that I would like to settle and live for a while because its mostly based on networking (esp if I go a policy route). He has all kinds of contacts and is willing to put me in touch with them. I'm so happy! But at the same time I'm still as confused as I was before. Luckily, I have some time to figure it out. And if I really drag my feet on this thesis thing, I'll have even more time (just don't tell my dad). Yesterday I ended up being a mini tour guide for an American traveler who is pretty much living my dream. He quit his job and has spent the last 5 months traveling around Europe and will continue for another 20 months or so and end up touring E. Europe, the Middle East and Africa. I am so tempted to join him down in Africa working at the orphanage and then driving through all the countries. I thought that I was leaning towards looking for a base, but when these ideas come up its so hard for me to decide. I am seriously considering the possibility of just picking up for a few months and touring Africa. Just because I can. I know its selfish but its what I want. My committiment-phobe side is rearing its ugly head again (see: Crisis of America). The current Crisis of America (Winter 2005 edition) started out as a small feeling of happiness while driving to Hungaray for the day and has now turned into a major point of contention in my head. I am really looking forward to my next trip to America. It will be great to see old friends and hang out with Todd for a good long while. But I am sooo happy that I am coming back here. I don't want this to be over yet. May is not that far around the corner. When I come back from the states, I only have 5 months left here. That's NOTHING! Then I'm supposed to move back to the US and start a real life?! I'm not worried about finding a job when I'm there, that's the easy part. The hard part will be giving up my lifestyle here. There are only a few places that I consider to be as equally interesting and good as living in Vienna (not in the southeast, southwest or midwest). And in those place, who knows. But somehow it doesn't pique my imagination and tug at my heartstrings like staying in Europe does. I've always known deep down that I will not spend the rest of my days in America. I loved growing up there, but right now..I don't really know....Where ever I end up I know I can make it work, but.......See, this is where the arguement just keeps going 'round and 'round in my head. Sigh. I should just go and study for my hyrdobiology exam and look for aluminum pans for thanksgiving.
The second to last piece of my Viennese puzzle has fallen into place. I've moved into the new place but I've been without the internet for the week. And now it works in my room. Normally I'm such an internet addict that a few days without home internet (school stuff doesn't count) that I pretty much freak out. But, because I live with 2 rad people, I'm never bored and always entertained. Does that mean I'm growing up? Not freaking out without internet? Nah....I think it was just a faze.... The new place is great. Being happy in a home is so important for me. And I have great new roommates (no more southern belles with long dark hair to clog up the showers). This weekend was the first time that I felt the "old" Nina came out. Johanna came over last night and I finally made it into a bar that wasn't filled with mostly foreigners. It only took a month. The house has also been christened with pulla. So now I really live here. My english is deteroriating here alot faster than in Finland. Probably because in Finland I used English everyday. Here, it happens less often. By the time I make to the US for Xmas I'm going to be speaking like a lost Austrian tourist. Or something equally sad. Apropos Atlanta...I'll only be in town for 9 days. So I think that the best way to see everyone is to pull a standard night in Ricardo's, perhaps prefaced with a brew tour of Sweetwater. Mmmmmm, I can already taste the blueberry beer and strawberry margarita and burrito goodness.............droooooooool
MySpace is down?! What?!?!?! My world is turned upside down and I can't function without my required MySpace time. It seriously is an addiction and I probably need some help for it, but dammit, where else can I post lame surveys about my favorite ice cream flavor 9808 times? No where, thats where! Phew, now that thats out of my system and I can move onto more important topics. Like........errr....umm......Ok, so I don't have anything really important going on right now. But I did manage to get a lot of work done this week on my thesis and that made me so happy. So happy in fact that today I'm going shopping! Woo Freaking Hoo!! H&M here I come!!! I'm also going to hit up the American groccery store today in hopes of finding pop tarts or toaster strudels (thanks Todd for that idea) and some Halloween candy. The other American girls and I are going to trick 'r' treat at the Wake Forest house on Monday. They don't know it yet, but we're gonna show up in masks with candy and beer so that they like us. I think its a good plan and I hope the Wake Forest people will think so too. If not, at least we have our own candy and beer. Tomorrow is moving day. Its the last moving day I'll have until I go back to America next year. Its pretty amazing. I'll get to finally unpack all of my stuff and finally be settled again. I think the last time that I was completly settled and unpacked was living in my aunt's place before I moved to the intown apt. So thats, what...7 months ago. I guess its not that long, but still. I'll be happy to not have to move again. And I can slowly start bringing stuff back to America when I go home for Christmas. Oh yeah, I don't know if I've mentioned my Christmas plans yet. I'll be in America from Dec 13-Jan 13th , but I'll only be in Atlanta from Jan 2-13th. Before that I'll be in Arizona with the wonderful Toddsicle. (Guess who's going to the Grand Canyon and Tuscon where he wants to or not?) So if you want to have some Nina-time in the ATL, better start your reservations. There is already one day blocked for a "Day 'o' Fun" but the date has yet to be set. So that gives the rest of y'all 10 days to hang out with the wonderful ME. (Who's an egomaniac? not me!)
All is good in my world again. I have found a great room in a great flat with two great guys (so far so good anyways). That took away so much of my stress. I don't move in until the end of the month, but I'm just happy to know that I don't have to look anymore. I will have a home again soon. Then no more moving until May! Amazing. The fall weather is upon Vienna and I'm loving it. I love the early fall when you can feel winter in the wind, but its not so cold yet. Today I went out for a much needed walk just to see where I would end up. There is an upcoming vote in Vienna so everyone is campaigning right now. The Greens were on a streetcorner handing out green helium balloons to people. Does anyone else see the irony in this? Then later on down the road was a scale you could weight yourself on for 20 cents right next to a big candy dispenser where you could get candy for 20 cents. Talk about eating with a guilty conscience! I've been doing a really good job of cooping myself up in my room and "working" on my article for Stimulus. So far, the title is written. Next week I have promised myself that I will get a grip and buckle down. I've had 2 weeks to settle in and now no more whining. I just have to start or I'll make myself feel horrible. At least I'm VERY caught up on my emails right now. I only have 2 lectures a week right now which equals about 4 hours a week of class time. I'll get more busy with classes later in the semester, but right now its pretty light so I really should be taking the chance of getting stuff done. SHOULD....but....well, so it goes.
Alright, that last post was a little melodramatic. I made the mistake of signing into my blog when I had a bad moment. I'm really doing pretty alright. Sure, the apt thing is stressful and the looming thesis is annoying, but I know I'll get through it. I had my first lecture today and it made me feel a bit better (yes, I am a HUGE NERD if school makes me happy). I just needed a distraction. Now I'm eating and I know that I'll find someplace eventually. I am really lucky to have the place that I do have right now. Without this place, I'd be on the street, so I can't complain at all!! So when i get melodramatic, just hit me over the head with reality and a few hours later, I'll be alright. no worries!
Fuck this shit. Looking for an apartment in Vienna sucks right now. There is nothing left because of all the German students that took over the Viennese schools. Now I'm stuck in this weird living situation where I can't really cook anything or feel like I'm home. And I'm supposed to be writing a thesis in this situation? How does that happen when one has no desk??
So yes, if you talk to me now, I will most likely break down in tears and tell you how much I don't want to be alone right now. I just want to be in America or Finland. I hate being homesick. It makes me feel about 7 years old again and stuck in Finland for the summer alone.
You'd think that being this bummed out would motivate me to do something. But after 10 phone calls this morning and only 2 free places, I've got nothing left for the day. Someone rescue me!!!!
This apartment thing is just the last thing to tip me over and make me nuts. I think that I'm so worked up over because I just feel so strange here still. I met some neat people this weekend, but when hanging out with the other exchange students, I realize that I really don't fit in with any one country group. The other Finns made me speak Finnish to prove my finn-ness to them and the Americans are all right, but after living here for 2 years, I know how European things work and i'm not fresh off the boat anymore. Sure, its great hanging out with them, but I get tired of having to explain everything all the time and I really enjoy speaking German, which I can't do with them because we're the Americans. I don't want to get labeled as one of the American girls, but I also want to find a group of people to hang out with. I don't want to burden my Austrian friends here and whine to them all the time. I know they have their own lives and things to do and the last thing they want to do is babysit me because I'm too whatever(insert favorite word here) to manage on my own. Well, that pretty much goes for anyone. I can only really let people know I'm in an awful rut by ranting here. How lame is that?!?! So here I sit in the middle of a beautiful city, throwing myself a pity party. Something just never change.
New timezone, new city! I made it to Vienna in one piece. Finally!!!!!! I can't believe that I am actually here. I've been planning this for over a year now and its finally realized. Arrival into Vienna was perfect. I had a welcome committee meeting me on the traintracks so I couldn't get lost. And now I have people all over the city taking care of me and making sure that I don't get too lost. So far so good. The underground is simple and I know (kinda) how to get to school so the important things are taken care of. Now I just have to start classes. Within one hour of being at school, I met another American and took her under my (mostly Lilly's) wing. I'm not worried about meeting new people here...Its my turn to be a dumb ERASMUS student! Germany was great. Todd was there and I couldn't ask for anything more, especially not beer. When we hang out, I forget that we only have a limited about of time and that we're not actually in a home. Instead, I just go around with him with this mindset that all is routine and normal and then I'm shocked when we have to say goodbye. Saying goodbye always sucks. But what sucks more is the next day when it seems that the time we had together was just a dream and I have to get back to reality where I'm alone. And to be alone in a strange city is even worse. I'm not lonely, but coming back from dinner with Mia and Andreas I think I had to pass at least 3 couples being cute and I just wanted to yell that I have someone to be cute with too! Its only 10 weeks till Christmas and then I can go back to my state of denial. Seeing old friends here and in Germany is great. This is the best part about living in an ever-changing international world. I meet people, become close, and then when we meet again in parts of the world its as if no time has past. We can practically pick up the last conversation that we had with each other. Its a great feeling to know that all around of the world there are places I can go if I get stuck....or send Todd to if he gets lost in route traveling. Right now everything is still super new to me, so my impressions of the city are quite limitied. The buildings are old and beautiful, I should find my own apt soon, the Austrian dialect is hard to understand and Finland is way more expensive than Austria. oh yeah, I miss subtitled TV! I can understand the German, but its just annoying to hear the wrong voices come out of the mouths of my favorite TV personalities.
The going away party has been had so that means that I'm officially going away from Finland. When did this happen? Who said that I would be ready to leave in 4 days? What kind of cockamamey plan was that?!?! Shit, it looks like I really have to get my stuff together now and pack it all up (again) for (another) move. Woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Who's excited??? MEMEMEMEMEMEMEME! I'm terribly sad to leave Finland, which suprises me, but I'm thrilled to be moving on to something new. In my moments alone, I'm still nervous about it, but then I get an email from a friend down there and I get so happy to be going there. So many emotions. I definatly did not have this many when I came to Finland. I had no/low expectations when I moved here. I thought that I'd only be heree 4 months and end up spending all my time with Mummo. So much for that idea. From experience, I know how fast a year abroad goes, but the thought of spending a whole school year Abroad seems daunting. But, these past 2 years have flown by, so another year is going to go by in the blink of an eye. My going away party was fun. I was able to bring out the margarita mix and feel almost like I was making shenanigans in America again. Its hard living in a transient situation because most of my good friends have long gone from Finland so there were only a handful of people there that I've known longer than 2 weeks. But the new exchange students are top notch. I bet if I were to stay I wouldn't have any problem filling up my weekends. Or who knows, maybe I'm only so friendly now because I know I'm leaving so it doesn't matter. Anyways, kudos to all that came!! This time around I didn't have "Nina's last drink in X bar" or "Nina's last sneeze" nights. I was even debating having this party, but in the end I'm glad I did. I got the best globe ever (thanks to Mikko and the Student Union of Kuopion Ylipoisto!) So now begins the arduous task of figuring out where everything goes. Moving is expensive and I don't want to pay for anything. I think everyone in Finland should just come to Austria and visit me and bring my stuff in small incraments. Or maybe I'll just be brave and give all of it away this weekend. We'll see how it goes when I realize that I have to present my results on Monday and I haven't done any of the statistics (Sigma Plot-I hate you!) yet. Then swift decisions will be made. Better get back to it. PS The Todd countdown is at T minus 100 hours!
I hate europeans sometimes. Ok, not all europeans, just the asshole ones. Point in case:
IrishMike: ummm, would a tshirt saying: I looted new orleans and all I got was 30 of these lousy tshirts
What the fuck? How is this funny to anyone? I'm so happy to be leaving in a year's time and coming back home. Fuck this shit.
Guess who is no longer in charge of anything KISA related? After much teeth pulling at perhaps the most awkward General Meeting ever a new board was elected. So I'm out. I am happy that I don't have to answer all these emails, but I am also a bit sad that its over. I really enjoyed doing it and I would do it longer if I wasn't leaving in 14 DAYS. It still hasn't hit me that I'm leaving. Everyone else I knowi s gone or in the process of leaving, so you think that I would get caught up in it? Of course, I'm excited to go, but I'm sad to leave Kuopio. Maybe thats why I still haven't bought my ticket out of the city. I guess thats going to happen today.....or maybe not. I don't know. I am looking forward to seeing Todd in M�nich, thats for sure. My deal with big crowds, though, is stopping me from getting too worked up about Oktoberfest. It should be fun, though. Something that everyone should experience once in their life, I suppse. From where I'm sitting now, I think that I could stick it out another term here just to get everything finished. But of course, right now, Margit and Stefan are still in town. Once they leave, I doubt I'd survive. I could barely make it 2 weeks without Margit, how would I manage 4 months?!? But now that this KISA stuff is put to bed, the only thing I have to wrap up is my data from my thesis work. Monday was my last day in the field which I am NOT sad to see end. Field work is fun, but it is hard and long days. Thats why us environmental scientists and ecologists are so tough. Thoughts of Austria are creeping in everywhere, though, so I know that next week I'll just be a big ball of nerves. And I have no idea where all my stuff is going. Right now I've got 3 lists going, one thats coming with me now, one thats being mailed to me when I get my own place and one thats going to the US. The idea of moving back to the US is what makes me excited, though. I think I just see school as something I have to get through before the next big thing comes along. If I was still single, maybe I would be dreading finishing more. But I know that something awesome is waiting for me when I finally get done. So I'm super motivated to get done ASAP. Don't worry, my Austrian friends, Austria will be radder than Tony Hawk. I am just nervous about going into a country where I have no history. Usually when I travel, I'm just visiting family or going places where there is a family history. But Austria is completly new to me. I've done the touristy bit, but the culture and life is foreign to me. I get to be a fish out of water. Even more so than here. Scary! But its definatly time to get out of Finland. We're getting MTV Finland and then it will suck. I won't have anything to occupy my hungover weekends. Ch-ch-ch-changes!
I hate this feeling of being homesick. I don't feel like Atlanta is 'home' and I'm not really wishing to go back there per se, but I'm sick of Finland and I want to go back to America. I don't know if this feeling of being so lonely is compounded by work and the fact that I am leaving soon, but it really sucks. Today at the groccery store, I realized that I was resentful of all the Finns I saw. Why am I going through this? Well, the obvious answer is easy, but is it really so simple? Will moving back to the states next summer make it better. Now when I'm thinking about the idea of going back, it does make me feel better. Like a light at the end of the tunnel. I guess also when I move back, school will be over and I'll be finished with all these exams and my thesis will be finished. That has turned into a huge weight on my back. Work is insane this month, in a scramble to get all my data finished before I leave and I'm nervous about not having time to discuss my results with my supervisors before I leave and getting stuck trying to wade through it all by myself. I think I just need support. I feel a lack of it on all parts over here. Like I'm just floating around doing my thing without anyone realizing that I might need help to. But I'll be damned before I ask for it. I'll just whine and emote over the internet to whoever reads this crap.
Last night sucked. In the middle of 'having fun' with my friends, I realized how lonely I felt in this town and I was trying to make up for it in wrong ways. So I turned into a jackass. I hate that feeling in the morning when you wake up and realize how much of an idiot you really are. I can't wait to get out of this town (one more month) but I don't really know if that will help me. I still won't be where I want to be. Hopefully it will be an improvement, but who knows. I do know that it will be really hard to be there when I want to be somewhere else so badly. Ugh! It just sucks because I feel so trapped right now. I just want to veg out and watch TV, but the TV sucks over here so I can't even do that!! I'm so frusterated and lonley and it all makes me depressed.
I've been so busy in the last few weeks that I haven't had the time to bother posting anything. Well, first things first, Todd arrived here safe and sound and that's the reason I've been so busy. I had to take him to all the important sights of Kuopio, the harbor, the Puijo tower and my grandma's kitchen. Poor guy was thrust into all the family at the same time, but amazingly he survived. The old trick of eating so that everyone is happy always works in my family. He even surived a weekend with Sam. She was way to nice to him, if you ask me. Its been so great having him around. Sucks so much that I have to make my life complicated and live a zillion miles away from him for the next year. I finally meet someone this great and instead of getting to spend as much time as we want together, I have to go and cock it up by still living in Europe. Well, its less than a year now (hopefully) and then I'll be back.
I was just looking at the exam calander for the next year and now I've become officially nervous about not being able to organize everything in time while I'm in Austria. I have only 2 exams left here, but of course, neither of their exam times are posted yet so I can't make any plans. Which means I get stressed. Argh, its so frusterating trying to do this all on my own without any guidance from the normal administrative help that other students get. I'm sure it'll work its way out somehow. Right now I've just begun to realize that in a few short weeks, I'm leaving Finland! I can't wait to get to Vienna. I don't think that my family here has realized that I'm really going and not coming back. Who knows what goes on in their minds sometimes. I have to move out of my urban apartment at the end of this month. Ugh. Its such a pain. I don't really have that much stuff, but its just the thought of moving that is worse than actually moving. And next month, I'm going to be all alone!!! Todd will have left and Margit is leaving so I'll be left to drink with the new students all by myself. Or knit. Alot. Margit and I have successfully run the Tampere half-marathon. She finished well before me with a time of 2.13 and I finished at 2.36. I'm so happy thats over. Well, at least I learned that I like running for 40 min or so. In theory I'd like to keep that up, but no more of this over 15km BS. Nevertheless, I did it! Now is the time of year when all the new people start arriving. Hopefully, there will be a new KISA board elected so that I can leave with a good conscience. The first two parties have been planned and I think that they will be good ones. Time to go sell more bikes.
He's here and he's lovely.
Day 2 of July holiday and I'm up again around 7. Whhhyyy??? I just want to sleep in but my body says not. I'm still on the sleep schedule of afternoon naps so I guess I've lost the ability to sleep for long periods. But there's no reason to be up this early. I don't have that many things to do!
Let's recap the past few weeks. My birthday was fun. To all y'all that forgot it: don't worry about, I'll be around next year so you can remember twice as hard. It was pretty low-key. After growing up and making a big deal every year, the past two years have been suprisingly (to my parents) chill for me. Just dinner and drinks. But it was enough to make the next day at work quite rough. Thanks to everyone that send SMS's and cards!! I [heart] you guys. The best presents were, a wrench, Giant Robot t-shirt, american flowers, and carton of Parisenne. The family visit is in its last week. I can't believe that the month of July is almost over. Its been nice having them around again, they surely do keep me busy. When they leave I'm going to be sad. It'll be another 6 months till I see them again over Christmas. But it's also a good thing because then we all forget that we fight everytime and think that *this* time will be a love-fest (just like always). Michael and Dad ran their triathalons in under their goal times (1.27 and 1.33 respectivly) which is pretty rad. My office mate said she heard/saw me at the race. I guess I was pretty noticeable, yelling U.S.A. in my deep loud voice. I did a pretty piss poor job of showing Michael the nightlife of Kuopio, but I did take him to a fantastic festival. Ilosaari was WONDERFUL! All the bands we saw were great and didn't disappoint. Especially Giant Robot (never fails) and Cleaning Women. The suprise shows were The Fat Beat Sound System and Myllärit from Russia. The Fat Beat Sound System brought the guys from Don Johnson Big Band and Giant Robot for an incredible set. And Myllärit was a really interesting mix of folk and rock that was infectious. I danced the entire weekend. Which was really helpful for my hurt Achilles. Giant Robot was the last band we saw and Margit and I had a ball. In sterotypical festival fashion, 2 songs into their great set the rain started and it just made us dance more. We were so soaked afterwards, but it was perfect. Just what I needed to let off steam. I've gotten my provisonal acceptance into BOKU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So now its official, I'm off to Vienna! All I have to do now is wait for them to assign me a buddy. Oh buddy of mine, who could you be???? Tee hee hee. Now that its really real, I can make all my plans. No more of this 95% sure business. Nope, I'm outta here! Woo hooo!!!!! This weekend I'm off to the island and then to say bye to the family in Helsinki. Then I'll have 9 days to fret and get anxious. If you want to see a nervous wreck, come hang out with me between Aug 2 and Aug 11th. If I don't committ myself to a mental institution, it will be a miracle.
by Evan Ratliff Earth Day is here again, that time of year when we all ask ourselves, What's the least I can do? Are there ways that I can save the planet without putting in any real effort or time? Environmental damage starts at home, so this year I decided to share my own simple tips for eco-friendly living. Leave the more labor-intensive land and sea devastation to the faceless corporations that do it best, and take my 10-part Pledge of Earth-Bettering Behaviors. It will do your conscience-and the planet-a world of good. I don't really have much to write about, but one of the drawers that I check regularly just made this patch and I thought it was neat so I wanted to share it with everyone. So now I have to write junk to make it a worthwile picture post.
I so thouroughly enjoyed my week of quiet. I found myself on that weekend alone in my apt wrapped in a shawl, knitting and complaining about the noise from the wine festival interupting my peace and quiet. I became a 97 year old. Wonderful!! My felting was fun. I posted it somewhere on here, just look around and you shall discover my creation. My family has arrived in Finland to much fanfare. It always takes me a few days to fall back into their routines and get used to all of their personalities. It was fun having my brother stay here for a few days before they showed up. We can get along as friends for a few days then fall into the sibiling thing and then fall back into being friends. Over here I guard my peace and quiet so fiercely that its hard to give it up. And I'm set in my routines and I don't like when their trampled on without any consideration (see 97 year old: me). They rented a care and now I'm learning how to drive a stick (finally!!). Next weekend is Ilosaari Rock. It should be fun. I'm looking forward to good live music and hot weather. 5,000 people sweaty and drunk together...yum! We're in such a heat wave over here. I'm loving it. Its been in the 80s-90s for the past few weeks. I don't believe its a heat wave, but a proper summer and the people up here don't know how to deal with it. I sweat my ass off in my apt every morning when the sun rises at 3am. Funn!!!!! Other random thoughts while watching MTV waiting for Dr. Phil to come on: The new R. Kelly song (Hiding in the closet Chap 1) is the most linear R&B song ever. The video is funny. Missy Elliot is really skinny and makes neat videos. I wish I could afford a personal chef to cook me and Sam food whenever we want so we can lounge and eat poolside all the time in our mansion of paradise. The crazy frog phone rings have really caught my attention and I sing them all the time. I think the heat and family stress is causing me to crack up a little bit.
Phew, my little flat has become enormous. After 10 days with 1 1/2 new roommates, now I've discovered its size. I had such a great time with the Austrians! It was just like old times. We all fell back into place as if we had just been gone a weekend instead of a whole year. Hanging out with them again made me realize how sucky all of this past year's foreigners have been (save a small number of people). There was no one foreign (americans don't count) that I connected with on the same level as the group from my first term here. We were all really tight and without any petty crap between us. Come to think about it, I spent 3 weeks in VERY close quarters with some of them without any problems. I guess because we're all so wonderful. We made so many plans for when I move to Austria. I can't wait for it!! Its going to be great to be living in a 'normal' country again. Finland is home for me, now, but despite it not being so foreign to me, I have my moments when I don't understand whats going on around here. I just don't get the people here, sometimes. But when I'm down in central Europe, it seems a little more familiar. I have no idea why, though. Maybe because Mom became an adult in Switzerland, so that stuck with her more than Finland. And Finns are just weird sometimes. So to recap, the past 10 days have been filled with eating, eating, drinking, sleeping, eating, eating, followed by more eating. It was great!! Juhannus turned out to be really laid back. The weather was alright and our bonfires were wonderful. They lasted about 3 hours on Friday and Saturday. We girls did a great job of construction. The final bruise tally: Margit 3 nice ones on her legs/shins from leaping across the water Me: 1 HUGE one on my ass from falling down the stairs in the house (its really beautiful and multicolored)
Now that they're gone I have to get back to washing my own dishes. And getting ready for Michael to show up!!! We're both so excited about it. We're gonna stuff ourselves full of muikku and lihis until Mom and Dad show up. Mummo won't be able to feed him enough. Just one week and then he's here. WEEEEE!! In other news, my whole family is now American. My mom passed her citizenship exam today and in 3 months she becomes a full citizen. So now we can't joke about deporting her...Too bad. But at least now she can vote finally!!! And she also finished her aesthetician course. Now no one can say that she's taking an American's job. Go Mom! This weekend one of the women from my research group is going to teach me how to felt. I love learning all these new crafts. I've spent most of this evening looking for inspiration and its made me excited. Its so dorky that I get excited about starting a new knitting project or some new craft. So beware, everyone is going to get felt products as presents. I'll post some of my new creations eventually. My knitting projects don't make such fantastic photos, so thats why they're not up anywhere (who wants to see pictures of scarves and mittens?).
The Austrians are coming in less than 24 hours. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! Its gonna be like old times (of one year ago) and it'll be great. I've been working full days so I've earned several days off and I'm gonna enjoy it with those fools. I'm so happy. Its great timing because last night, for some reason, I got awashed in this strange feeling of semi-homesickness. Its not like I really miss home but I'm missing something that nots here and I think its back in America. But when I think about going back, I get scared because I'm happy here. So I'm missing something thats not here and yet it is here all at the same time. I think I just want the best of everything and am getting worried/scared that I'm going to give up too much and miss out on something. But the point of moving around is to NOT miss out on stuff. Weird, huh? I think I'm just being girly ;) Recently, I've been able to catch up with people in Atlanta and Austria and its been great. Its nice to know whats going on in everyone's lives and just fall back into with each other. Its like there is no time or distance between us. I can't believe that its been almost a year since I last saw Lilly and Andreas and Rosie and 6 months since everyone else in Atlanta. Even though things have changed, they're still pretty much the same. Nice how that works out. Overall, though, I've been in the best mood ever. Summer is really REALLY here. Earlier this week it was +28 and sunny. So freaking wonderful and amazing. Work is so much fun. I've been setting up my field experiments this week and since the weather has been nice its been really fun. Except for the mosquitoes. The suck. Literally. They such all the blood out of me and now I look like one giant mosquito bite. Today at work, though, was the best day ever. It was our research unit (the biogeochemistry and environmental microbiology groups) outing to Karhunsaari, the nature preserve island. I didn't have to go into work until 30 min before we left so this was my whole day. We left around noon loaded up with TONS of food and drink. We took some rowboats out to the island and began the day of fun. A walk in the woods with environmental scientists is never just a simple walk. The leader of the microbio group is a member of the environmental group that works on the island so she took us around to check out some of the interesting species. The island is basically an arbirarioum with many species from Siberia that aren't in any other parts of Finland. The island is just beautiful to walk around and it was really interesting to hear about all the old stories about the O-L-D-E tyme remidies in Finland with the plants. Yes, I am a huge nerd, but so was everyone else out there, so it is OK. Then after our first walk, we ate and ate and ate some more. Then another walk around the other side of island. I can't explain how nice this place is. There is an inland pond and since the biogeochem group is mostly focused on peatlands everyone got a little excited about walking around it. Then it was sauna time. The water is so warm that swimming is really enjoyable. Sauna followed by beer and sausages. Sooo good to get drunk and full with my group of supervisors. Only in science can this happen, I think. Especially in environmental sciences. The day was especially nice for me since it was mostly in Finnish. Nowadays I really enjoy talking (ok, mostly listening) to people in Finnish because I have very little difficulty understanding. Its even better when they speak finnish and I can speak english. Maybe its a bit cheating, but it works and everyone is comfortable because we can all speak our native language. It must be funny to an outsider, though, to hear us all speak. Everyone is gabbing in Finnish and then I come along with some seemingly random English comment and I get a response in Finnish. I felt a part of the whole group. Its nice to be fully accepted as an equal. We rowed back around 9pm tonight and the sun was out in blue sky. The lake was calm and flat and perfect. If this weather keeps through Juhannus its going to be great. I'm a bit worried about Juhannus. Its going to be rad with all the people, but since they're all from different times of Finland they don't know each other (excpet for a few) and I don't really know how we'll all fit. Also, it seems like an annoying girlfriend is coming along and I'm a bit peturbed about that. Not much I can do, I can't exactly outright say she's not invited. But I don't like her and she's annoying to everyone. And when boys are around their girlfriends, they're usually not as fun. Rarely it happens, but usually when I'm friends with a guy and his girlfriend comes along it changes everything and that guy is no longer as fun to be around. I'm sure there are many reasons, but they don't matter to me. All that matters is the change. Its aggravating sometimes. I just don't want aggravation on Juhannus. Its too nice of a day to ruin by stupid people. So I'm just going to ignore everyone/thing that bugs me and just take in all of the midnight sun.
June is here! Its really really summer now. Well, calander-wise anyways. Today coming home from work at noon, I had to wear both my indoor and outdoor jackets. Sometimes +13C is warm and other days it is cold. Such is the nature of the beast. I had my last exam yesterday and I passed it!!!! I am the mistress of biochemsitry. I don't care about the grade, it was a prereq and now its over. That means only 2 exams in Sept before I leave to Austria. Now I can enjoy the summer without worrying too much. I just have to do thesis stuff, but thats not so bad. I actually like that, so its OK. June also means the beginning of the visiting season. Only 16 more days till the Austrians come back! Looks like Juhannus is going to be pretty fun this year. We are all assembling on Vuohisaari for our fire making and sausage eating and sauna bathing. Right now there are 8 so if you're in town and want to join, you'll get the presidental suite outside in the tent. Not like anyone is left in Kuopio, though. Today I am saying goodbye to the last friend I have in Kuopio at the moment. How depressing does that sound? I can only say it because Margit and Stefan have gone back to their home countries for short trips, but they'll be back. But from today till Fri, I'm on my own. I HATE saying goodbye to people! I'm used to it by now, but it still ruins my day. The only good thing about people leaving is that I get all of their leftovers (I have so much peanut butter now!). But I'd gladly give that up to have my American back. Next round it will be my turn to leave. Honestly, though, I'm tired of constantly missing someone. Because of the way my life is now organized, I will always have someone who is a point of awesome in my life that is living far away, but I'd like to be able to minimize it as much as possible. I think I've come up with a good solution. Everyone that knows me should just move to a warm sunny island either in the Caribbean or Mediteranean (To Be Determined) and we can all hang out there. All the time. We would set up our own society and not have money but instead trade shells for fish or something like that. It would be great. All languages are welcome and I wouldn't try to make everyone speak English (even though that would be the official language for all govt purposes). What do you say? Who's in? Oh yeah, and if you know someone awesome how would fit in with us, bring 'em along too, the more the merrier. It would be like Lord of the Flies except without Piggy and no killing of each other and shit like that. Ok, so it wouldn't be like Lord of the Flies at all. But, lets do it!
England rocks my world. I love going there and being with my adopted gang down there. It was amazing to see Bigs outside of our normal environment of Atlanta. We all just had a big love-fest for the weekend. Sunday afternoon, despite everyone being either incredibly tired or hungover (most were both) we had a lovely BBQ so that I could see the most important people in England before I had to leave. A weekend is such a short trip. I left the airport feeling really sad, more so than usual. I think it was because Sam and I didn't have any time to ourselves to sort each other out. But we will this summer when she comes over for a visit. Tom, you better come over as well at some point or you're not getting your chocolates! Bigga brought the South to England and made me feel so at home. We had biscuits and gravy!!!! It was heaven on a plate for me. I can't get the right kind of sausages here so it was a double treat. We had a real Southern kitchen going on between the two of us. I think we gave all Sam's friends a good show of what the South can be. And I had my ration of bacon to last me for, oh, maybe 2 days. I love going over there because I just slip in easily to Sam's group and I feel accepted and loved so much. I came back at 4.30am this morning and luckily work was fairly busy so it kept me awake. I set up a new series of experiments with my stinky mud (see pic for accurate representation). Right now I'm on a study tirade fueled by Red Bull in preparation for ANOTHER biochem exam on Wed. They just never end. I just want it to be over so that I can get this stress over with. In less than a month all of the summer visitations begin. If Sam comes as planned, it will be nonstop from June 17th to Aug 30th. I have no idea how I will get any thesis writing or studying done this summer. Somehow I'll manage, I'm sure. At the end of this month, pretty much all of my Kuopio friends will be gone. Thats sad. I'm really going to miss Brent, but I'm happy that he gets to go back to America. For some reason, even though I'm petrified to go back to the states, I'm jealous and happy for anyone that is going there. I'm scared to go back just because I don't want to deal with all of the stress that is involved with day to day American lifestyles. Like driving in rush hour, getting sucked into stupid innane political debates with people that only listen to conservative talk radio, the commercial bombardement, the lack of easy healthy lifestyles, not drinking the water out of the tap, telling time with a 12 hour clock instead of 24, and probably falling back into the drama of old friendships. But there are also so many wonderful things about America. It really is an easy place to live because you have all the choices you could imagine. This is also why it can be so fucked up. I'm drawn back to it and also pushed away by it all at the same time. Its a strange feeling. I'm glad I'm committed to staying over here for at least another year. I don't have to make such big decisions yet. Even though, when the time comes, there is no life in Europe if I'm pining away for someone all the time. As the song says "I'd rather live in his world than live without him in mine" [Midnight Train to GA by Gladys Knight and the Pips]. Who knows what the future will bring...
I love my new job. I want to play in labs for the rest of my life. But only because in ecology, our lab is outside! Yesterday was the first day of site visits. Only in Finland do site visits start with coffee and pulla. How wonderful! My site isn't that far away and I even have a student of my own that I get to boss around. This NEVER happens in Finland. We MSc students are at the bottom of the totem pole, but somehow there is a BSc student from the Polyteknik helping out the research group. And one of his duties is to work on my stuff. He's a lot older than me too, which adds to the weirdness. But its pretty alright to know that he gets to drive my ass around and dig in the mud where I tell him. Hee hee. I'm going to go crazy with my minimal amount of power. The research group is really cool and I like my supervisors. Out of the 4 that I have, 2 are pretty active with me, which is great. The only problem is that sometimes everyone slips into Finnish when I'm around. Its ok, but I tend to tune it out, esp when I'm tired. But when its in English, I know its to me. This summer is going to be great! But, I'm still studying for these damn biochem exams. They are NEVER going to end! I've also gotta get my Noise Abatment course sorted out so that I can just take a book exam before I leave for Austria. And I have to wheel and deal to get some seminar credit while I'm in Austria so that I can graduate. And I have to get Austria sorted out. This weekend I'll be in London with Bigga and Sam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just a little excited about that. Bigga and I will get an International Day 'o' Fun together. I wish I could stay longer than just the weekend. But such is the nature of the beast. I'm gonna have so much fun showing him 'my world' over here. Well, England isn't exactly my world, but its pretty darn close. Its as close as anyone from Atlanta will ever see, I think. I've pretty much given up on anyone ever actually seeing Finland. But thats ok, because there's not really anyone left there ('sides my treehuggers!) that I'd want to let into my world. Luckily, the Austrians are coming back!! Lilly and Andreas will be here in less than a month!!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! It will be almost like old times. Then when they leave, my family will be here, then they leave and Todd comes. Then I leave. So it goes. :)
Funny how people come and go from one's life and you don't realize their impact. Rob came back into my life and I realized that somehow along the way, we became friends. Its not like we're going to exchange deep dark secrets with one another, but I think that we'll have the friendship where we can just drop in randomly and pick up where we left off. With this group of exchange students in the process of leaving, I wonder who I'll still keep up with. There are few that I hope I stay in touch with, but for the most part, as soon as they leave Kuopio I forget their names. They're not in my life and I get so worked up with the people that I actually like that I don't have any leftover emotional energy to care halfway.
I'm back from the long weekend in Stockholm, Helsinki, and Tallinn. All was fun, as usual. Of all three, Helsinki is still my favorite. I guess its because there are really awesome people that live down there. i am super stressed out with school right now, so going away for 5 days was probably not the wisest decision to make at this point. Buuut, what are you gonna do? I'd rather get out of town than study. But maybe thats why I have to retake this biochem exam a million times. I've changed my status on MySpace. I guess thats a big deal in the dork world that I live in. Tee hee hee. This weekend also had a revival of the first Irishman in my life. Nine months of nothing and then he expects me to welcome him back with open arms. Too bad his timing is so awful. Well, actually thats a really good thing because he's not a good person in my life. At least he's the fun Irishman. Its really late and there's more I want to write and babble about, but I'm too tired at this point.
Its Vappu eve eve tonight and Finland is gearing up for a big party tomorrow. I hope that its warmer tomorrow than it has been today. I want to be able to sit in the park and enjoy the tori! I can't believe that its already that time again. My last exam is next Friday and then its off to Helsinki, Stockholm, and Tallinn before I start working. It should be fun. If anyone has a sack of money that is wearing them down, I will gladly take any donations. I'm trying to make it to London to see Bigga (!) for a weekend. I can show him a small part of my world over here. Hopefully a big bag 'o' euros will come from the heavens and present itself to me. I just put up some pictures from my trip to Berlin, the St. Patrick's Day Party, and my trip to St. Petersburg, so enjoy!
Happy Earth Day! Hug a tree, plant a smile, recycle your shoes, just do something!
The internet works at my flat! I have rejoined the world of the 21st century. Now, if only the connection wouldn't cut out randomly. Here's a forewarning, if you're talking to me over IM and I just disconnect, its because my ISP blows hard core. I have to take a Finn down with me to the office to translate my anger appropriatly. But for now, it works and thats all that matters. The computer saga took a whole week to finally get sorted, but in the end, it all worked out. Life in Finland is continuing, but backwards. After 3 weeks of spring and warmth, this week has been white. I'm wearing my WINTER coat again! I. Hate. Snow. Its nice from Oct-March, but come on, enough's enough! Vappu is next weekend and it better be warm. I don't want to have to sit inside Ale Pubi, I want to be in the park! I can't believe that this will be my 2nd Vappu. Weird. The last one seems so long ago. I feel like a lifetime has passed since then, but its only a year. I guess with all the people that are constantly entering and leaving my life, time just flies. Every semester there are at least 30 new people I meet and know their names. Thats a lot when I'm used to just hanging out with my friends and not paying attention to anyone else. Its a nice life, though. But, I am getting to the point where I want to revolve around some fixed point. I think that will happen after gradutation next year. Congratulations Erin on your acceptance to Wyoming! I'm happy you went there instead of MI, its someplace new and cool for me to visit. I'm at a point with school right now where I'm almost completly burnt out. I just want summer to be here so I can quit worrying about exams for a while. Only 3 more weeks....I can make it.
I've survived an entire week in my new apartment without a computer or internet access. This is a milestone in my life. Last week, around Wed or Thurs, I felt like I had the shakes because I was going into withdrawl. But I got over the hump and now I'm relativly OK.
My weeknend was incredibly boring. I didn't need a relaxing weekend, so to sit around and do nothing was not that great. I did go running on Sat and swimming on Sun, which was good. Margit convinced me to be her half-marathon partner, so Aug 20 we'll be running the Tampere half-marathon. I'm glad to be doing some kind of regimented training again. Recently, I've been wanting to get back on a basketball team (must be the fact that One Tree Hill has come to Finland) or at least play some tennis. But both of these require gyms and effort, both of which I don't have, so running it is. My parents are now making it official that they will be moving to FL in Jan. This rocks me to my core. My home will no longer be my home. I will be homeless. I'm really excited for my parents, they have a great condo in St. Augustine, but the house in Alpharetta has been my HOME! We always figured that my parents would always live there. We've changed it, changed in it, and its our silent family member. I don't know how hard it will be to pack it up. Luckily, very good family friends will be moving into the house, so it won't be gone for good. But how weird will that be to walk into MY house but not see our family pictures on the walls?! If I think about this too much, I get really close to tears. I cried when I had to switch rooms with Michael when I went off to college! So because of the move, it looks like I will be in Atlanta over Christmas to help with the packing. So much for all of my talk about not coming back in a while. I don't know how much free time I'll have, but on this trip back to the US, I want to go up to Philly (or AZ, wherever he is) and also wherever Erin is. I'm thinking that I'll also try to come back to the US in F eb to look at some schools for PhD. I don't know yet if I want to come back right after this is over, but I should at least be knowledgeable about my options. Right now I'm so frusterated with studying in a foreign country that the idea of America is really appealing. My summer plans are getting sorted out right now. It looks like I'll be working May-Sept half-time, which gives me great flexibility for all the summer visitors. My project title is: Effects of changing water table and eutrophication on methane dynamics in the littoral zone of a boreal lake. Woo hoo!!! I can't wait to get started. Through catching up with people in Atlanta, I've discovered that people are now working in my old jobs. Of course, this is normal and I knew my old jobs, particularly at the Riverkeeper, would be filled, but its odd because I know the people. I think with environmental type stuff, you need a certain amount of passion and dedication that isn't required by other jobs. This is true for all non-profit stuff. Like at Oxford, when the one of the other ENVS majors, told Erin and me that she just doesn't give a rat's ass about Earth Day. How does this happen? How do you study something and then not care about it later? Ok, I know I'm passionate and naive, but come on! Anyways, the people that are working at my old haunts, don't fit this description of passion for me. Maybe I'm to possesive of what was once mine, but its gotten under my skin somehow. But, what can I do about from here? Thats just the way life goes. I'm not the Sierra and Beer person anymore, I'm not in charge of HOTLINE at the Riverkeeper, and I'm not Pres. Carter's mail carrier. I can't go to anymore Sweetwater Brew Tours, the Dogwood Festival is just a nice memory, and the Laser Show is too spectaculor for words. I'm not homesick and I know that things move on, but sometimes I get twinges of an emotion I can't describe. In more exciting news, I'm getting visitors this summer!!! Hopefully, another Austrian invasion will occur around Midsummer's Night. The Welti's are making their pilgramige accompanied by a few Swiss, and in Aug an American will be here! :D So, if you're not on the list already, but would like to be, please please make your plans known ASAP. Oh yeah, this summer's festival choice has been made: Ilosaari
Ok, the month of March has been gloriously busy! Russia was great. I had so much fun crawling around St. Petersburg with Brent. Luckily, he and I have the same sightseeing attitude - walking everywhere and seeing everything! I will post the pictures at some point. Tonight is also the last night in my aunt's apartment. Tomorrow I'm moving into the new place in town. If you haven't received the new address, email me and I'll give it to you. It will be nice to live in the cetner of Kuopio and be so close to everything. Also, not having to walk up the giant hills will be wonderful. But as I don't have a computer right now, I'll be about 2 weeks without my IMer working. So no AIM, ICQ, or MSN for a bit. I don't know how I'll survive, but I'll manage somehow. Right now, spring has sprung in Finland. This means that the streets are icy and slushy in parts, but in the dry parts there is 3cm of stones that have accumulated over the winter. So I'm either slipping or sliding on the bike, just like a rally driver. I'm so hard core. I got a summer job!!!!!!! I will be working in a biogeochemistry research group and I get to open a new isotope mass spectophometer lab. Yippee for me. They made a point to let me know that there is budget for a PhD student, if I'm so inclined. I have no idea if I'd want to stay here for the PhD, but its nice to have it offered. I'm really happy that I get to stay in Kuopio this summer. My research plots are only 20km away, so its not far at all. By the way, I'm single again. I didn't last long in that relationship. I'm just too independent to have anyone make any kind of demands on me. I'm totally unrealistically selfish, but I'm happy with my life and I really don't want anyone super involved in it. I want to make my own decisions without consulting anyone else. So, its not really fair to anyone I'm involved with to keep it going. I'm not in any kind of mental place to settle down, I'm leaving in the fall and I want to just be with me. I worked so hard on accepting myself and being 100% happy with myself and I don't want to give it up for anyone. Maybe if Mr. Probably Perfect walks into my life, who knows, but as of right now, I'm really and honestly happier by myself than with anyone else.
Holy cow, life is busy these days. For the past 2 weeks, I don't think I've managed to take a moment for myself, that is until yesterday. I had a good day after my exam doing a million loads of laundry and napping. Sometimes a personal day is bettr than working on a German essay about Einstein. I guess the most exciting thing thats happened to me recently is that I've left the ranks of the sinlge life. Yes, sport fans, I'm off the market (stop weeping, you'll get over it eventually). Over the past year or so, I've been focusing on myself wholeheartly and indulging in my own whims and wishes. Its been great not having to check in with anyone and just do as I please. So, I'm finding it hard to be "tied down" with Mike, even though he's wonderfully great. Luckily, the both of us have incredible relationship fears, so this works out well. We can freak out together and then realized "its just Mike/Nina" and then we calm down. Yeah, he's Irish, by the way, with a lovely sing-songy accent that sometimes throughs me for a loop. The ski jump competition was last week as well. It was fun, but for some reason, I think last year's competition was more exciting. I guess because it was the first year that I saw it and I was with a huge group of loud exchange students. This years group was a little more subdued and of course, there was no american jumper for me to go crazy over. I'll post the pics sometime next week. Vera just left on Wed, which was sad. It was so cool to have her around again, just like old times. I think the best thing is being able to fall back into friendships immediatly with people, even if you don't see them very often. I still don't understand why its hard for some people to maintain friendships over long distances. Yes, Scott and I offficially ended any semblance of a friendship yesterday morning. It was the strangest thing. I've never had a friendship end with such formality. But, I suppose it was a mutual thing. He can't relate to my life anymore (not that he even tried) and I can't relate to his (based on his choices). But for me, it would have been fine to remain friends that just caught up every now and then. Apparently, this is too difficult. Weird. Oh well, he just doesn't know that the world exists outside of FL, GA, and MO. Its a pity. Last weekend, I was in Berlin with my Dad for ITB (International Tourismus Büro /International Tourism Convention). Its was so cool to fly down and hang out with him for the weekend and do a little work and a lot of sightseeing. I really liked Berlin. I've decided that once I'm finished in Finland, I'd like to move to a German-speaking country for a while. Hopefully, I can find a job somehwere. I have encouragement, though. At ITB, the focus section was on eco-tourism so I met the EU Eco-tourism standards commission people who are based in Vienna. They said that when I move down there in the fall, that I should contact them for a job or something. So, who knows, maybe everything will slowly fall into place. Its not like eco-tourism is what I want to do with my life, but an EU job would be great! Besides, I think I might want to take a break from school/academia for a bit, just to see how I like it. Last night was KISA's St. Patrick's Day Party in the Irish pub. Mike's parents who are visiting for a week, led dancing and brought a bunch of party favors. I don't think the Irish pub has ever been so busy. Just leave it to KISA to throw a good party. Next weekend (Easter weekend) is the KISA trip to St. Petersburg, which I'll FINALLY be joining. I'm really looking forward to a trip. Family from America is coming to visit during the same time for my grandma's 85th birthday. Its never a dull moment. Right now, I'm in limbo with a lot of things. I'm still waiting to hear back from the BOKU if they've accepted me as an exchange student. If they don't, I'll be really bummed, but it just means that I'll graduate in Dec and move down there in Jan, hopefully with a job in hand. I'm also waiting to hear back from a research group here for my summer job. They're waiting on funding so who knows how long it will take. Hopefully, it will come through, then I'll be spending the summer looking at methane cycling in finnish wetlands. It would be so great! Oh yeah, summer plans: If you are planning to come to Finland this summer and would like to make a reservation on the Isle De Welti (aka Vuohisaari) please email me ASAP. My parents and brother (YIPPEE) will be staying there for most of July, but June and August are still free. The sooner you let me know if you're coming, the more likely you are to be able to book a suite in our exclusive resort. If not, there's always room on the floor of my new flat.
Goofy Peter Pan Sleeping Beauty Ariel Cinderella The Beast Pinocchio Donald Duck Cruella De Ville Snow White Woo hoo for March! Parusing through my calander for this month, I realized how great its gonna be. In an hour and half, Vera will be back in Kuopio for over 2 weeks, which rocks. Next weekend, I'll be in Berlin (if you're also there, let me know!) with my Poppa. Then the following week, an excellent St. Patrick's Day has been planned. The following week is Easter Break, during which I'll spend the weekend in St. Petersburg, Russia with KISA. And during Easter, family from around the world will be assembling in Kuopio for my grandma's 85th birthday. There could even be a surprise visit from my favorite cousin, but he's not supposed to know about it yet......But that's not all! Also during the month of March is the Ski Jump Competition at Puijo (across the street from my apt), along with 2 (count 'em two) English movies in Hyvä Kuvat, 3 wonderful exams, a lab course, and 2 seminars. Yay for being busy! I've gotten my application for my exchange to Vienna approved my dept here in Finland. All I'm waiting on is an answer from the BOKU. So those of y'all with pull down there, make it happen! I've been emailing with a prof trying to sort out a possible Master's Project while I'm there. I don't know what's gonna happen with that. I should do it this summer here in Finland. If I would actually hear back from the professor in charge, I wouldn't worry so much. If I don't get to go to Vienna, I'm going to end up graduating in Dec. SCARY!!!! It would be alright to graduate then, but its so early. It would be exactly 2 years after leaving Emory. Amazing. To add to the confusion that is my life right now, my favorite cousin is trying to come to Kuopio from America to work/study at the univ for a year. It would be totally rad to have him here, so long as I'm here at the same time. He's the only person in my life that I'd be willing to change my plans for. Is that odd? But I guess because we're closer than just cousins (FRIENDS, not like in that gross southern way), it doesn't seem so strange to put something on hold for him. Afterall, I'd have the most fun with him in Kuopio. It could be so rad. So, right now my life is full of maybes. That always makes me excited, because the future is usually good.
Ugh, I think I've developed adult onset ADD or something. I can't sit still to do one task at all. All day long, I've been trying to read for an essay I have to write, yet I get through a few pages, and then my mind begins to wander and I find myself doing something completly useless (case in point, I'm updating this). Well, at least my apartment is really clean and all my socks are in order. I hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day. In my former life in America, I used to get bent out of shape about Valentine's Day. Yes, I was with someone then, but nevertheless it was a stupid holiday and I could always be counted on to give an anti-V Day rant. This is the one holiday where Finland beats America. Here, its called Friend's Day and you just tell your friends that they are nice. Or something like that. I guess frienship is all that these Finns are prepared to admit publicly. Thats fine for me and my single-ass. Last night was Ystäväänpäivä + 1 meal at my place. Delicious tacos were had by all and it was wonderful to sit around and shoot the shit. Now if only I could extend the motivation of enjoying life to studying. I think my motiviation was killed today by a lovely email I recieved from a 'professor' of mine. I did poorly on an exam and before I re-took it, I wanted her to go over it with me so that I could understand my mistakes. Simple, no? This would be warmly welcomed by any prof from Emory. But this morning, I check my email to see this reply "Sorry, but I do not give personal instruction. The book is in english and so I really can't help you if you don't understand." Silly me for thinking that a professor would want to TEACH! Argh. Sometimes studying over here really bugs me because I don't go to lectures, yet if I have a question, there really isn't a venue to ask. So I'm a truly independent learner here. This is fueling my desire to go to Vienna. The application is in now and I'm just waiting to hear from them. Then in only a few months time, I'm outta here! Maybe there I'll be able to meet someone who I cause to see fireworks, yet has the ability to walk afterwards. I've got a major case of senioritis and I've just started school. Ok, so I'm into my 2nd year, but because I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I'm sooooo ready to get out. Unfortunatly, I have no plans for after graduation, but something will come up, I'm sure. Who knows where I'll end up next. But if my friends are any indication, it could be anywhere (cheers to moving to Kenya, California, Oregon, Singapore, Puerto Rico, and Spain!). Oh yeah, I will be making a move in the near future. In April, I'm moving out of my aunt's place and into a flat in the center of Kuopio. This is a good thing. I've liked living here, but it is just like living at home. I lived alone for so long that its hard to move back home. So, from April till Aug/Sept I'll be living the urban lifestyle of downtown Kuopio. I'm just happy that I'm less than 500meters from all the bars! Oh yeah, I've updated all the pictures that I took while I was in Atlanta. I didn't really take that many cause I was with Erin so she had me covered, but there are a few from New Years and the last night at Ricardo's.
No new PBS characters needed today! Oh no, I've discovered new obsessions to keep me from needing them. I have been sucked into the world of 24. Yes, I am waaay behind the times on this one, but having the whole first season easily accessible is creating problems for me. There is nothing I want to do except watch this damn TV program. Luckily, I have a support group. Unfortunatly, our solution is to sit around and watch 3 or 4 episodes until we are all emotionally drained. But its a good way to pass the time. The second new obsession is not really new. I have to do a country presentation for my Finnish class which means POWER POINT! I love doing power point presentations so much that it becomes a problem. Yes, I want to admit it, I am one of those ppt dorks that has to do animation on EVERY single object in the presentation and I will fiddle with it until the very last moment. I wish there was some kind of power point gallery that I could display my works of art in. Ok ok, they're not really works of art, but thats only because no one can fully appreciate them. In 100 years, someone will 'discover' my beauties and I will be redeemed by history. Muwahahaha! (If you want to see the best presentation ever created about American and GA for a finnish class click here and select GA-new.ppt. I've also managed to get everything in my life working. No, I haven't sorted out all those 'deep' issues, but I am the proud new owner of a 100% working bike, functioning digital camera, TV-laptop connection, as well as other various life nessecities. I am awesome! All of these accomplishments coupled with some wonderful emails from America (cheers to Bagels!!) made the last few days very happy. Even the sun is out in Finland. Maybe I'm overdosing on Vitamin D a bit, but thats ok, too. Oh yeah, since my camera now connects with my computer, I'll be posting all the pics from my last trip to Atlanta fairly soon.
Happy Birthday to my favorite LITTLE brother in the world! Welcome to the adult world. Now you'll have 3 countries waiting for you to join their respective militaries. Ah, the joys of being a mulit-national male. I wish I was home to help celebrate with the whole gang, but I'm sure Sammy and Blythe will fill up the house. With this free time I have right now, I've decided to follow the trend and I now have my own place on MySpace.com. Check it out here . I'll be updating both of these periodically, so be sure to check both often. I haven't decided if either will die, but I feel important taking up so much of the internet for my ramblings. As if I have anything to really add to the worldwide conversation, but hey, why not? So love me on MySpace and love me here.
Now instead of Bob Ross's soothing voice, I need some words of encouragement and support from Mr. Rogers. (Why do I get so much emotional support from PBS programming?) I saw the film Goodbye Lenin last night and it put me into an emotional tailspin. I have no idea why, but it stirred up all these emotions in me that I've been trying to repress. I read the last entry in here, and I sound like an idiot. Sometimes walking around saying everything is hunky-doory and having it actually be so do not go hand in hand. Thats not to say that I'm not content to be in Finland, rather, I'm happy that I'm in a place where I can be unabashidly and selfishly pay attention to my own emotions. I have a ton of dizzying thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head right now that I've apparently been repressing. Why? Who knows. But this is not the place to go into all of them, mainly because I can't understand them myself. It is nice to know that I'm not the only one wandering around in a sea of confusing emotions and hypersensitivity. Last night's conversation with JP yielded this gem of a quote "JP, its ok, you don't have to be a girl." A lot of this stuff has been stirred up by the fact that I suck at subtlety. I've been told that I have a problem being direct when I have an issue that needs discussing. But as far as relationships go (all types) I crave openness and honesty. I think that this is where I've done the most growing up in the past year. Now, I feel the need to tell everyone how I feel. This causes me to send out "ghey-sentimental" cards and tell my friends how much I care more than they probably want to hear it, but you know what, screw it. I'd rather have everyone know exactly where they stand with me than leave anything ambigious. This frankness has always been a part of my emotional makeup, but I used to use it as a defense mechanism agains those that I didn't like (the preps in high school). Nowadays, I have this need to let people know how much they matter. This creates an internal conflict between the need to be direct and the fear of looking like an idiot. Wearing your emotions on your sleeve can lead to awkward situations. Being an emotional open wound did not play into my favor today at all (surprisingly). Let me give some background before this example. I'm in a lab course that began last fall. It is filled with other degree students, most of whom I've shared at least one other pervious course. So they all know me, mostly as the foreign student who causes lectures to be held in english (this only happens some of the time, I try to muddle along in Finnish for as long as possible). I've worked in groups with a fair number of them, so they also know that I'm not a screw up and I do my work and we usually end up getting along well. So, the problem? Today when I walked into class, I was hit by this overwhelming feeling of "We don't want you here" from a big portion of the class. Why? I have no idea. Ok, I know that in Finland, staring is not the same thing as it is in America. Here, people stare and its not seen as rude or weird. Or at least thats what people have told me. So, were people staring at me as I walked in the class this morning because of culture or because I'm the odd foreign student. I don't know and I suppose the real reason wouldn't really change how I felt. But because of this, before I had to present my lab results, I was near a full-on panic attack. This is ludicrous! I'm never afraid of public speaking and I knew my shit for this presentation. But, I had the overwhelming desire to run to the bathroom and never come out. I survived and everything went well, but damn, did that feeling of being an outcast stick with me for the rest of the day. Thats often really hard here. There is only 1 other person in this whole town that can relate to my situation but we don't get together nearly as much as I want. Despite that, I still have to survive the day on my own. There is no one here to be my crutch, its all on me. This is probably making me a stronger person, but its really hard on these topsy turvy emotional days. Lets hope this weekend I can sort out some of these ambiguities that are driving me crazy. If not, I'm going to take a trip to the Land of Make Believe courtesy of Trolley.
Where is Bob Ross when you need to relax? I really miss being able to catch him on PBS and fall asleep to his soothing voice as he describes how the busy squirrel lives in the happy tree. This week, I am that busy squirrel living among the happy, but quiet winter forest. School has piled more stuff on me than I thought was possible in a Finnish University. But, I've discovered that this makes me very happy. I really like being extremly busy with school. Its what I'm here for, so everyday that I spend 11 hours at the university, I feel like I've used the day to its fullest. I realized how happy I am not to be working some sucky job. Too many horor stories from you working-stffs. No sirree bob, I'm gonna stay in school! Fuck customer service or hours of filing, give me a pipet and then I'll be happier than a fly in a moon pie. Other than school loading up on me (i heart waste water labs) not a whole lot is going on with me. Thurs night I'm going to see on of my favorite bands play, Cleaning Women. Anyone who talked to me longer than 5 seconds in Atlanta knows my love affair with this gem of Finnish music. Margit and I discovered Huppari today. This is the Finnish version of Weird Al. Its super famous songs re-written in funny Finnish lyrics over umpah/polka style beats. Actually, pretty funny stuff except for the 25min + scary/drunken circus music. The new exchange students have arrived. I didn't have a whole summer to fantasize about them, so my expectations were much lower. I guess this is why I'm so pleased to find out that they are cool. At the first KISA meeting, I had a good feeling about them. I hope this feeling is merited. At least I know how to be a better KISA president this term, so my job is easier. The only thing I would change is the weather. Its so warm right now!! We keep fluctuating between plus and minus degrees (C) which makes the snow melt and feeze. This equals to dangerous ice all over the city. The moment I step outside of my apt, I feel like I could bite it at any moment. Walking the steps to university is an extreme sport now. Oh yeah, I'm reading this great book now, Having it Y'all: The offical handbook for citizens of the south and those who wish they were, [thanks Bigga] and I've realized what a southern I am. I love being able to call myself that. Ok, so officialy since neither of my parents is a born and bred southerner, I'm really not, but damn, do I fit most of the criteria. I think this is a good thing because most things associated with the south are good. After all, we are much nicer and polite than those damn Yankees! On another note, the Falcons are in the finals for the Super Bowl. Lets hope they make it so that I can watch the Dirty Birds play in Finland.
Back home in Finland after a very excellent and probably best last-night-out in Atlanta Thurs. Thank you to everyone that came out, all the gold-star (and newly upgraded platinum-star) people were there. It meant the world to me that y'all would come out. And if my hangover Friday was any indication, we all had a great time. Big ups to Bigga who has a new neice. I suppose thats an OK excuse to miss out on Ricardo's. Up until Thurs night, I was pretty OK with coming back to Finland. I wasn't too upset to leave the ATL, but while I was packing on Friday and remembering the fun night, it became harder and harder to stuff my socks in the suitcase. I really do miss everyone when I'm away. and keep all y'all in my thoughts. So do the same for me, dammit! ;) It is nice to be home, though. All of my stuff is here now, so maybe that helps the feeling of home. The best part of this last trip to Atlanta was tying up all my loose interpersonal ends. I feel like everything over there is sorted and I don't have any kind of baggage associated with anyone over there. This is a very good thing. So now I can savor in the palpatble silence of Finland and just chill. My stress level decreases dramatically whenever I land in the country. I guess its because I know I'm alright here. But, this feeling of contentment could also lead to my doom if I get too comfortable. Then what would I strive for if I become too laid back here? I could end up setttling!! AHH!!! Haha, had you going for a minute, didn't I? Come on, me? Settling? Never!
So I haven't been so good at updating this recently. Thats because lots of things have been happening since Christmas in my life. Or at least, thats what I want you to believe :) First and foremost, Toni is OK. He was in Singapore during the tsunami so he was safe. I was really worried about him. It made me realize how much I value all of my friends and also how much it sucks to have friends scattered around the world. Its not like I can just walk down the road to check on everyone. And the extended network only works if everyone keeps up with emails/letters. It sucks for natural disasters. But, luckily, the int'l office at school told me he's ok so I can stop worrying. This trip home has been one of reconcilliation. I have ran into more people from my past in the past few days than ever before. Which is a good thing, because I don't know when I'll be in Atlanta to ever do it again. I think the karmic gods are sending me signs that say get everything in order in Atlanta because you're not coming back. I had this same feeling when I left for Finland the first time. I knew then that I really wasn't ever coming back to live in Atlanta for a while, at least. Now, I feel like I'm not coming back for good. So, if you haven't seen me, or made the effort of a phone call, thats it. I leave on Friday and I'm weeding out those people. Maybe that sounds harsh, but I want to clean up all my relations to Atlanta. I want to know where I stand with everyone here. Its like a year-end inventory sale or something. Ok, that makes me sound heartless (depending on who you ask, maybe I am) but I think you can get my drift. But back to the memory lane. New Year's was spent with old people from Oxford/Emory including an old roommate, who is now my new best friend (only when Jager is involved, though). Matt and I met and it was great and we're meeting again before I leave. Its great to have him be on the other end of the phone again. Mom and I were shopping today (B&N made a killing on us again) and we randomly bumped into Carissa who works at the Pottery Barn in the Forum. Talk about a blast from the past. She's still connected to everyone from high school, so I got completly caught up on all the news and blogs of everyone. Not something I expected at all. Then I met the one and only Mark (Officer) Stanley for coffee. There is someone that always makes me feel good about myself. He just knows how to be the sweetest man (2nd to my dad) on the planet. I wish everyone could have someone like that in their lives. To top it all off, I watched the [sucky/boring] championship bowl game down at Josh's with the Southeast Waters crew(+Phillip) and there was a Finnish girl with whom I have mutual friends. Funny how the world turns. Talking to her made me homesick for Finland. But, the moment I get there I'm going to be crying for Atlanta. Hopefully the Jiffy cornbread mix, JELLO, peanut butter, english system measuring cups, DVDs, GA cookbook, southern pride books, and 3 rolls of film will help me out. Its going to be hard to leave this 22C/70F weather we've been having. Just in case you haven't gotten the message, I'm leaving on Friday, so Thurs night will be spent at the Sweetwater Brewery Tasting followed by a meal at Ricardo's. All that want to come are welcome. Call my cell to find out where we are at what time. This is probably the last last-night-out night out. I don't think I'll be back in Atlanta for the rest of the year. So if you don't see me by then, you've missed your chance (unless by some strange reason you make it out to Finland). This trip home has been interesting to say the least. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ERIN AND ANTONIO!!! [both Jan 3]
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IrishMike: be very offensive to all americans?
IrishMike: or just people in the south09.15.05 8:34EET
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A Planet-Friendly Primer for Layabouts
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Trees
Trees are the kindest things I know,
They do no harm, they simply grow
And spread a shade for sleepy cows,
And gather birds among their bows.
They give us fruit in leaves above,
And wood to make our houses of,
And leaves to burn on Halloween
And in the Spring new buds of green.
They are first when day's begun
To tough the beams of morning sun,
They are the last to hold the light
When evening changes into night.
And when a moon floats on the sky
They hum a drowsy lullaby
Of sleepy children long ago...
Trees are the kindest things I know.03.30.05 23:27EET
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You scored as Goofy. Your alter ego is Goofy! You are fun and great to be around, and you are always willing to help others. You arn't worried about embarrassing yourself, so you are one who is more willing to try new things. 75% 69% 63% 56% 56% 56% 38% 31% 25% 19%
Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com03.01.05 22:00EET
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01.05.05 01:41EST
