On a very important first note, the pictures here are HUGE. Problems that can occur include you not having a big enough monitor resolution so you have to scroll (horizontally) to see the whole pictures, or the pictures just taking a really long time to load. If you do suffer for slow-loading, just scroll to the bottom and read the smaller, more insignificant part of the page.
Now that that's done, let's get straight to the point today. No rambling about a bunch of somewhat-related crap. This intro is just to explain what's going on in this article and why it's so much different from the others. As you've probably visited the Gallery before, chances are you know that I love to draw. Not only that, but most of the time I do a pretty good to decent job of it. So when I get any assignments in school that let me express that little trait, I take the opportunity. This comic is one that I drew for an assignment in English class. The quality is rather low for this one, but you'll have to bear with it. Excuses I can think up right now are a)I was in a rush and did it just before class(which also explains the lack of colour, and b)It was for a school project, and I didn't feel like making a masterpiece when this would get me a good enough grade. It's not really that well written either. I was just ripping things off left and right throughout almost the whole thing, so if you're well-travelled in the field of things I like, you'll probably get all the references before you get to the explanation part.
And that's a whole other part. After the big comic, I'll do a small review of the thing page-by-page so that you may better understand it and what's going on. It may seem kind of stupid, but it's the only way to really put even close to enough words in here. Just think of it as the equivalent of those DVD commentary things. And right at the end, I'll typr out the second half of the assignment, an instructional paper on how to dig a hole. It's kind of boring, but again, I had to get some kind of actual writing in here. So I guess that sets you up to know exactly what's happening here, and now you can get to the very low-budget comic I like to call "Super Adventure Adventure".
This is quite clearly the cover of the comic. It gives you a very good idea of what types of things you're going to see in this comic. Most notably is the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Other things include our three main (yet nameless) characters, a MegaMan ripoff, a GutsMan ripoff, an R-107 ripoff, a zombie and a fish. Everything that appears on this page is in the comic somewhere, except for the pencil. I have no idea why that's there.
I don't know if you've ever heard of it, but I even stole the title from a video game called Super Adventure RockMan. I was having a very hard time coming up with a title and that name just kept popping into my head. At one point I had it at "Super Adventure [Something]" and after about half an hour of bad opinions from others, I just went with "Adventure" as the last word.
Finally, you'll notice that this is the only page which is coloured. As I said in the intro, I did it right before it was due to be handed in, so I only had enough time to colour in the cover. But in a neat little twist of fate, a lot of black & white comics have coloured covers, so it seems just one tiny little bit more professional. You know, if you look past the shortness, the bad drawing, and the terrible story.
Panel 1: This is quite possibly the only panel I put any effort into (and even that is an overstatement). I started with big dreams, but then I got lazy and realized that I had very little time to complete a 5-page comic from scratch. We also start our story a little bit in, as the guys have already done a lot of digging. Enough digging, in fact, to warrant a "Good work, boys."
Panel 2: Panels like this one are basically to take up space and keep me busy while I'm thinking up what's going to happen next. If you'd noticed, the guy building the sand castle looks a lot smaller than he should. It just happens when you try to draw distances.
Panel 3: Only the third panel and I already had to use a [Later...]. That's pretty sad. Here is our first real reference, pointing mostly at the Simpsons, with them digging a big hole and just missing a bunch of treasures. I'm pretty sure it's the episode where Bart gets stuck in the well that they used this joke. I'm also pretty sure that a lot of others have used it too.
Panel 4: Plot mover. How better to move a plot than to find a hidden door way under a beach?
Panel 5: I think having the characters state the obvious is the best way to go, because much to my surprise, a lot of people don't get stuff if you don't draw them a friggin' diagram. Of course, I'm sure this one was pretty obvious to begin with.
Panel 6: Dun dun dun. And as the first page ends, we are set on the edges of our seats, wondering what will happen to our heroes. What could be in the door? Only the next page knows for sure.
Panel 1: Nothing's happening here. But it does let us know that the other side of the door is scary and dark, as most would expect.
Panel 2: "Maybe we shouldn't be here." Once again, we have the obvious thrown right at us. You can really tell on this page that I stopped trying altogether and just drew as quickly as I could. As long as they look vaguely similar to what they're supposed to be, it's good enough for homework.
Panel 3: A thunk! The plot gets thicker! But what was the thunk? Could it have been the door? Or perhaps something more sinister... Notice how flashlight guy doesn't immediately run. It doesn't make any difference, it just sets up the next reference.
Panel 4: It's not really a joke, but some people might find his dislike of being touched funny. And what is that shadow?
Panel 5: A zombie!! But wait, zombies don't say "boo!", that's ghosts... If I had drawn this today, I could say it's a commentary on the way Hollywood is changing the zombie stereotype from slow and clunky to fast and vicious. But no, I drew it before I'd even seen 28 Days Later, so it's just bad writing.
Panel 6: A conveniently placed door to get away from a zombie. This is starting to reek of Resident Evil. I guess we'll turn the page and see how this monstrosity of a plot twist turns out. I need to learn to draw zombies better.
Panel 1: Typewriter? Heath cabinet-thing? Searching for ink ribbons? Yup. There's a Resident Evil vibe going around here. I had drawn this, then someone told me that my teacher probably hasn't even heard of Resident Evil. Boy, was that a waste of a good reference.
Panel 2: Man, that's a distorted-looking room. I need to learn how to draw rooms better, too. I'll also have you notice that the drawing quality gets worse page-by-page. In some cases, panel-by-panel as well.
Panel 3: Yes. It's true, I drew the room empty because I didn't want to have to go through the trouble of having to draw something inside of it. I like being lazy.
Panel 4: They say that originality is just taking ideas form others and mixing them into one big plagiarism soup. The robot on the left was stolen from Timesplitters 2 and the other two are from MegaMan. And this is where the story really falls apart.
Panel 5: First off; no, that guy is not holding his crotch, that's just how he ended up being drawn. Nextly, wouldn't you be afraid of robots that dropped in out of nowhere too? I know I would. Those things are ruthless.
Panel 6: Now, to be fair, I'm now sure of the exact definition of "breaking the fourth wall", and if you want the proper definition, go browse the PVP archives or ask someone who knows. Yes, the pirate guy is holding a fish. Get over it. And finally, we have a Freakazoid reference here, with the Y! on the guy's armor. Freakazoid had an F!, but whatever. I can't remember what the Y! is supposed to stand for either. Damn. That's going to bug me for a while.
Panel 1: Well a real fight scene would have taken several panels, which I didn't exactly have an excess of, and it would have taken much more time to draw. Once again, I'm lazy. So sue me.
Panel 2: As you can see, our heroes have won without taking even a scratch. Or maybe they did and I just neglected to add that kind of detail. I'll leave it up to you to decide.
Panel 3: And now, the drawing is getting really bad. I'm obviously not even trying at all anymore. And where was the stream in the previous room? Does it matter? How does one person see water and one see chocolate milk? It's been going downhill since the cover, so you shouldn't expect any logic at all at this point.
Panel 4: You didn't see that one coming, did you? Well you should have. Like I was gonna make it something that's not chocolate milk.
Panel 5: You might ask "where did you come up with chocolate milk wish fish?" There is no real answer, it just kind of happened that way. And you ask too many questions. You don't need to know the answer to everything.
Panel 6: When he says "Make it good", you just know that one of them is going to make a very, very poorly thought out wish. It always happens like that. Just like the chick who takes off her top always dies in slasher flicks.
Panel 1: I think this kind of thing really goes over a lot better when it's animated. You just don't get the same feeling of the slow-motion "Noooooo!" dive when it's in stills.
Panel 2: Yeah. I didn't want to reveal the wish until as long as possible, so I put in a [12 seconds later...]. As you can see, one of the guys very much didn't like the wish.
Panel 3: You come up with something better. Note the appearance of the balloon from the cover.
Panel 4: And now they seem to be on top of some sort of building. With some kind of gun-like devices. What could be going on here. What was my mind thinking? Could it be that I was too lazy to make my own ending so I had to recreate someone else's?
Panel 5: Oh, you'd better believe it. While it's not very original, I did score a couple extra points for the Ghostbusters reference. That and I had a strange desire to draw Stay Puft. And don't tell me you never have that urge. Anyone who's anyone has drawn (or tried to draw) the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in their lives. Anyone who hasn't is a loser. Loser.
Panel 6: I can't really stand up for this. I hate "to be continued"s, but I had run out of comic paper, so there was no other way to do it. You just can't solve a problem like that in one panel. I'll probably never write an ending to it, but that's more than likely for the best.
Digging the biggest hole
Digging the biggest hole is not an easy task. First of all, you will need to define your target depth and/or width. Just because it is called “the biggest hole” doesn’t necessarily mean that it has to be the actual biggest hole. It can be whatever size you want it to be. It can be the biggest hole that you’ve ever dug, or the biggest hole in the history of your chosen location. It’s really all up to you, or perhaps whoever is in charge of the hole-digging.
The second step is to decide upon a location for your hole. The best place would be a beach, as they are public areas and are composed of an easy substance to dig through, sand. It would be wise to choose a beach which has no patrols, as they will eventually stop you and call your hole a “safety hazard”. You should also choose a beach with a lot of beach between the water and the area after the beach (parking lot, trees, etc.) so that you have optimal digging space. You should dig a good distance away from the water so that if the tide comes it, it won’t impair your digging ability.
Now that you have a goal size and a location, you’ll need a crew. Chances are that you won’t be able to dig the hole by yourself, at least not in a reasonable amount of time. Finding a crew should not be too much of a problem, as many people enjoy going to the beach. Depending on how big you want your hole to be, you should enlist anywhere from three to nine people. Of course, feel free to have as many or few people join your party as you like.
After you’ve assembled your team, you’ll need to find some digging equipment. Tools aren’t absolutely necessary, but going without will leave you with only your hands to dig with. Shovels are the best digging tool, and you should find at least as many tools as you have people. If you can’t find any shovels, get trowels, buckets, and similar objects.
Now that you’re fully prepared to dig your hole, start digging your hole. A good idea would be to block off the area where you want to dig. Whether you use police tape or branches from a local tree, you’ll need to make sure that you’ve defined your boundaries and that you don’t exceed them. Mostly so that you don’t spend too much time digging the hole, but also so that it doesn’t take up too much space.
When starting out, you should concentrate on the width before depth, so that as many of your co-diggers as possible can dig at the same time. After several minutes/hours/days of work (dependant on your goal size) your hole should be complete.
One thing that you should have planned out before setting the goal size is how to get out of the hole. If it will be deeper than you are tall, bring along a stool or a ladder that you can use to get out. If you can see out of the hole while standing up, you should be able to escape with little to no trouble.
After you and your crew are done digging the hole (and getting out of it) you can sit back and marvel at your accomplishment. One thing you can do with the hole is cover it with a tarp and some sand, and wait for some foolish passerby to fall in. Then you can laugh and hope he doesn’t sue. Now that you have achieved your goal, you can continue on to set a new, and possibly more pertinent goal for yourself.
And that's it. I never thought that English homework would make for such easy website content. It might not be a blast to read like some of my other stuff, but I'll count it as a legitimate piece of work. I found it entertaining to critique my own work instead of someone else's. After reading them over again, I found that the instructions were actually a little bit funny. I guess it's just my touch that makes an instructional paper funny. I'm sure others could do it, but considering that I was trying to be serious and came out with a couple jokes, I'll say it's hard for me to try to not be funny. Of course, it is when I try that I usually fail the worst.
I guess this thing really showcases my laziness. I must have mentioned it upwards of four times now. But really, I am quite lazy, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Some of my happiest moments are when I'm just sitting around in my room. Not even playing Nintendo. Just sitting there. Man, I could do that for hours. Screw going places and doing things (of course, if I get some kind of restaurant meal out of it, I'll go willingly), I'm happiest just wasting away my life. Hmmm... speaking of wastes, this paragraph seems to have gone that way. Ha and the best part is that I almost made 3000 words this time. Well, time to put an end to this then. Until next week, loyal readers.
~Ryan
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Mr_Hotshot64v2@hotmail.com
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