I open my suitcase and I am greeted by a picture of her smiling face. I sit down on the bed and trace the outline of her smile with my finger, wondering where she is and if she's thinking of me. No one understands our relationship. I love her with all my heart and I know that she returns that love. Nothing can break us apart, but our so called fans cannot understand that. We share a bond that nothing will ever break or dampen. With a sigh of frustration, I gently place her picture back in the suitcase and grab a pair of jeans and shirt to put on, knowing as soon as I walk out that door, I will be greeted by the same people I have seen for the past five years of my life. I crave a change of scenery but know that a break from everything is not coming soon.
If only I could make everyone understand that I am a young man who needs to find himself, I might have a chance at actually being happy. The only time I am truly happy is up on stage performing with all the energy that my tired body can manage to produce. Other than that, I could easily leave behind this part of my life and begin again. All I would need would be her by my side, to keep me focused on the important aspects of life. That won't ever happen, but the dream keeps me alive. A dream is what got me into the position I am in now, but I do not hate myself for pursuing that dream. I accomplished something that I had always wanted, and never will I take it lightly.
Throughout the day, I slowly find myself drifting in and out of reality, dreaming of being normal. I miss hanging with my friends, just being an average guy who had normal worries. Instead of worrying about how I am going to pay a month's rent, I have to worry about going to the store without being mobbed by a group of girls who have managed to convince themselves that they are my soulmate. I just want to shake them and make them realize that I am normal..but they don't see me that way. They see me as an icon..they see me as something they want but know that they can never have.
I belong to the music industry. Once you have made an entrance, its hard to disappear. You are stuck in the same life, day to day, realizing that for a long time, nothing will ever change. You are what the critics have created..you are no longer the simple boy from Tennessee, looking to make simple music because he has a passion for music. You are now Justin Timberlake, teen heartthrob, dating pop princess Britney Spears, who feels the exact same way you do.
But at night, when you are all alone, you can lay your head down on a nice soft pillow, and close your eyes. As soon as you close your eyes, everything disappears for a brief period in time and you are allowed to be whatever you want to be. After all, the public can take away your normal image, but they can never take away your dreams.