He sat on a small stole in silence as he tried to think of something to say to her. He wanted to say something and get a response from her, but he could tell that she was heavily medicated at that point. Her face was swollen slightly from the medication, but to him, she still looked beautiful, just like the first day that he had saw her. "Baby," he whispered hoarsely as he reached up to stroke her cheek.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered as a tear fell from his face and onto their joined hands. "This isn't how things are suppose to be..we're suppose to be making love right now...you can't leave me, baby..I can't live without you."
He closed his eyes and listened as the monitors beeped around him. His memory recalled all of the things that they had done with each other, as he also prayed for her to wake up and give him a sign that everything was going to be ok. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around to see her mother and father looking at him with sorrow in their eyes. He stood up and exited to room to allow them some time with their daughter. He left the room, but he didn't leave sight of her. He watched through the window as her parents talked to her and brushed her hair off her forehead.
He looked down the corridor and saw JC walking towards him, holding a cup of coffee. "I figured you could use this," he said as he outstretched the cup to Justin.
Justin looked at it for a moment before reaching out with a shaking hand and grasping it tightly, feeling the heat through the thin styrofoam. "Thanks," he said softly as he brought it up to his lips, his face crinkling once the substance invaded his mouth. "I hate this stuff."
"You might hate it, but it will help calm you somewhat."
"She looks so helpless lying in there, JC..."
JC was silent as he looked into the room, watching as her parents continued to talk with her. He wanted to tell Justin that things were going to be ok, and in a few days she was going to be able to go home, but he didn't know anything for sure and he wasn't going to imply false hope especially now that the doctor had spoken to everyone. "We'll just have to wait."
"You don't understand, JC..I can't wait anymore," he said as again, the tears fell down his cheeks. The two men embraced, each praying to gain strength from the other.
"Whitney, hunnie..I want you to know that I'm so sorry for causing this..if I hadn't let this happen, you wouldn't be here and you would be happy," he said as a tear fell down his cheek. "I shouldn't have let my feelings affect any of this and oh God, don't die on me...Justin may have your heart, but your smile is forever etched into my mind and I'll go crazy if I can't see it on your face again."
He paused for a moment and looked over his shoulder to make sure no one else was in the small space. After he was assured that no one else was there, he turned his full attention back to her. "I want you to know that the day I ran into you in Transcon, I fell in love with you. I don't care what anyone says, I fell in love with you. Your eyes, your smile, your lips, the way your hair fell over your shoulders, they...they all took control of my heart. YOU took control of my heart, and you don't know how many nights I prayed to God each night that he would give me the chance to prove to you how much I love you..to give me a chance to show how much I want to protect you and give you all of my love," his heart poured out to her unconscious body. "I am so selfish, Whitney, but I need you here. I don't care what Justin, Cait, or Dan says, I need you. I can't move on, and I can't move on with telling you how I feel..I'm telling you now but its not the same. I wish I could write you a song, a poem, or something just to let you know how much joy you brought into my life when we knocked into each other. I wish I could describe to you the electrical shock I felt from your lips on mine, but it had a reverse affect on you..you're now here..in this bed.." he said as he finally broke down and let the tears freely pour out.
"I really wish you wouldn't talk to my fiance that way," Justin's voice snapped from behind.
Ashley closed his eyes and prayed that this wasn't happening. "Justin..I had to get it out of me..I know she loves you, but you know that she's a wonderful person..she just captivates me...I wish I could protect her.."
"She's not yours to protect..that's MY job. You crossed a line when you slept with the woman that I love!" Justin accused as his voice grew louder and angrier. "You have no right to be here at the moment...you're upsetting everyone."
"You're the only one who seems upset," Ashley replied calmly before looking over at Whitney. "You're being selfish."
"How do you gather that?" Justin asked as he crossed his arms over his chest and sent Ashley a heated look.
"You're worrying about me being here only because it upsets you and ONLY you. You should be praying that she pulls out of this instead of directing all the anger that you feel at yourself towards me. I'm not denying that I didn't cause part of this to happen, but you did to when you told her to get out. You didn't give her a chance to explain and you're the one that sent her out upset in the rain!"
"Don't you dare start accusing me! I didn't do any of this. You slept with my girlfriend."
"Yes I did, Justin, I admit that. But you can't admit to yourself that you screwed up!"
"You have no right to be saying any of this."
"Oh and you have the right to put all of this on me? Open your eyes up Justin! I know you love her and I know she loves you! Put your damn pride and anger aside for a while and send her your strength!"
Justin knew that Ashley was right and he suddenly felt bad for everything he had just said. "Look, Ashley, I'm sorry.."
"I know you're not sorry, but I understand that you're upset. I'm going to go get a cup of coffee," Ashley said before exiting the room, leaving Justin and Whitney alone with each other. The only noise in the room was the beeping of the monitors that were hooked up to her. Justin sat down on the stool that Ashley had previously been in and closed his eyes. Things weren't going the way they were suppose to, and it was starting to overwhelm him. He couldn't deal with all of this... "There I go again..Ashley's right I am being selfish," he said out loud to himself before sighing.
He took her hand and kissed the back of it before humming softly. The humming broke into a song that he never thought he would ever sing, but it just fit the moment. "The space between The tears we cry is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more The space between The wicked lies we tell to keep us safe from the pain Will I hold you again These fickle fuddled words confuse me Like will it rain today," he said before stopping when he said those last few lines. It fit the situation so perfectly, it scared him.
He leaned over and kissed her forehead before standing up and leaving the room to go and check on everyone else. He walked into the waiting room and saw that mostly everyone was asleep, including her parents. Justin could feel the fatigue starting to take over his body, but he was afraid to sleep because he thought he might miss something. He sat down in the chair next to his mom and looked over at her, noticing that she was the only one not asleep.
"Get some rest, Justin. I'm not tired so I'll wake you if something is to happen."
"I can't go to sleep, mom..."
"You can't do anything right now. Just sleep and everything will be ok."
He was too tired to fight about it so he closed his eyes and felt a comfort come over his body. He had just really fallen asleep when the sound of her squealing tires floated back into his brain, causing his whole body to feel uneasy. His eyes shot open and he could feel the sweat that was covering his body causing his clothing to stick to him. He stood up and left the waiting room, heading straight towards the bathroom. Once he was inside, he ran some water in his hands before putting it on his face and looking at his reflection in the mirror.
He felt smothered at that moment so he pulled his shirt off and fanned the heated flesh. The room started to spin around as the dread floated back into his system. Something was definitely wrong. He threw the door open and ran as fast as he could towards her room where he saw a doctor run in. "Oh God," he whispered before sinking to the floor and praying.
She broke into a run and stopped abruptly beside him. "Dear Lord, what's wrong?"
Justin shook his head never taking his gaze away from the room. "I don't know.."
Cait walked to the nurse's desk and impatiently tapped her fingers on the desk trying to get someone to pay attention to her. "Excuse me," she said to a nurse that looked very stern. "Is something wrong with Whitney Littleton?"
"Are you family?"
"Yes I'm her sister," Cait lied.
"Her blood pressure dropped suddenly and the doctor's in there at the moment. That's all that I know," the nurse said before turning her back to Cait who was becoming very worried.
She turned around and walked over to Justin and saw Ashley standing behind him, his face just as pale as Justin's. "The nurse said her blood pressure dropped."
"How much?" Ashley whispered as tears formed in his eyes.
"It must have been a lot," Cait managed to say before the tears started to flow down her cheeks. She dropped to her knees and hugged Justin as they both leaned on each other. She heard Ashley gasp, and turned around to see the doctor walking out of the room with a blank expression on his face.
"I'm afraid I have bad news," he stated to the three of them. They all looked at each other before their bodies went numb.
Justin couldn't get air into his lungs as his brain went through the endless possiblities that could be wrong. Everything was beginning to swirl, and suddenly, everything went dark.