"I have to say this is the best of the albums that you have recorded. You guys have added passion that goes deep, and I think that your fans will appreciate it greatly. Now, here is what you guys recorded today. I think you have a reason to be proud," Johnny said, as he pressed a button, and music filled the recording studio.
The song wasn't a new one, infact it was a remake of The Beatles' song, Yesterday
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Jc and Whitney swayed to the music, along with Lance and Stephanie. Joey and Chris stood there, listening to the music, making sure everything sounded ok, but Justin..his eyes were on Denise. He wished that he could make her see how much passion he had put into singing it.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, I yesterday came suddenly
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm
As the music ended, Denise blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall down her cheeks. She knew that his eyes were on her, and that was one of the reasons that she kept her gaze fixated on all the buttons that were in the room.
Chris broke the silence that had filled into the room. "You guys..that was great! We're not the Beatles, but I happen to think we did a very nice job on that."
Jc nodded his head. "I can hear what you're talking about Johnny..but...this is just a suggestion..what if you changed it to an accapella...would that be strange? Or would it define the passion even more?"
Justin's head popped up. "That's a good idea. I mean, our fans seem to like it when we sing without music. What do you guys think?" he said, looking around at everyone else, and letting his eyes come to rest on Denise.
"I think that would be a great idea..I mean if you have music with it, and you still hear that passion, imagne it without it. There would be nothing to cover it up," Stephanie said, laying her head on Lance's shoulder.
Johnny gave a few commands to the guys working the buttons, and a few minutes later, they were listening to five guys singing without anything to hold them back. "That's awesome," Denise whispered, wiping a tear away from her eye. Justin walked over to her and placed a comforting arm around her.
Not long after, all the guys decided it was time to go home. They had two days off, before they had to come back into the studio and learn the dance steps to the new songs that they had recorded. Denise looked at Whitney as they walked down the hall. "Can you give me a ride? My car is in the shop, and I had a friend drop me off."
Whitney nodded her head, but didn't have the chance to respond. "It's ok, I'll drop her off," Justin said, steering Denise towards his car.
She gulped. "Justin..really...if Whitney says its fine...then..I mean...yeah I'm going to shut up now because its not going to do any good in arguing."
He chuckled lightly, and started his car. "You'll have to give me directions..or are you going back to your house?"
"You know what..just take me home. I haven't been there in a few weeks, and I miss the place. Plus, that will give me a chance to get my car."
He looked over at her. "Denise...I know this isn't the best place to have this conversation..but.."
She stoped him with her sigh. "Justin..don't ruin this. This is the first time in weeks that we've been around each other, and there's no words being said, and there aren't any tears. Just let this moment stand. We can talk later."
He nodded his head, and turned back to the road. They reached her house, too soon in his opinion, and he didn't know if he should walk her to her door, or just stay in the car. When she turned to face him, he knew that he wouldn't be opening the car door. "Justin...thank you very much. I appreciate it."
"Denise..its not a problem really. But, I do have one favor..tomorrow night we're going out...and we're going to talk. We're not going to put it off..I have to know where I stand."
She nodded her head. "I hate doing this to you, but I think I've got an answer..but I need to clarify it...how does eight sound tomorrow?"
"It sounds fine..but yet so far away...and that just sounded so corny."
She laughed, and he couldn't help but smile. "I missed hearing you laugh," he said, touching her cheek. It felt so good to have his hand touching her, and she couldn't surpress her sigh.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Justin," she said, opening the car, and getting out. He watched her walk to the door, and disappear inside, before throwing the engine in reverse and heading home, only to await tomorrow night.
He shook his head, telling her to be quiet. She gave up on trying to argue, and leaned her head in between his neck and shoulder, before closing her eyes. He smelled good at that moment, as the smell of his cologne floated through her nose. "What are you sighing about," he asked, coming to stop infront of his bedroom door.
"I'm really tired, and you smell really good," she said, as he laid her down on the bed. "Why did you bring me up here?"
"You looked tired, and I didn't want you sleeping on the couch because I was going to try and watch a football game."
"Why you little weasel! You did this for your own benefit. I'm ashamed of you, Josh!"
He walked towards the door, before smiling. "Hey, I have to think of me sometimes!"
Before he was out the door, she sprang off the bed, and jumped on his back, stopping him dead in his tracks. "I can keep you in here and from watching the football game," she whispered in his ear.
If the circumstances had been different, he would have definately gave up and stayed with her instead of watching the football game. But, he could tell from her voice that she thought he couldn't resist her. He was about to show her. "Listen, Whit, I really wanna watch this game, now I'm going to ask nicely for you to get off my back, so I can go watch it."
She laughed. "Yeah, that's really going to work, Jc. Nice try though, sweetie. I'll give you that."
He began walking to the bed, and gave her one last chance. "Whitney, I don't want to smush you. Now, get off so I can go watch my game, and you can do whatever it is you're wanting to do. I don't think that's too much to ask."
She didn't move. "You..smush me? Ha! Jc..hun I hate to break it to you, but you're not exactly a man of steel."
"Oh, you just pushed your luck," he said, laying back on the bed. She squirmed underneath him. He tried to hold in his laughter, as she began to tickle his sides. "Baby, I'm warning you...stop..please that ..that tickles..I'll put all my weight down."
"You're kidding me? I thought all of your weight WAS down!"
He rolled over to his side, so that he could get a grip on her, and pulled her to where she was straddling his waist. "I told you not to mess with me. That football game is important!"
"I'm sorry baby," she said, bending down to kiss his nose lightly. "I know that game is just like the most important thing in the world...NOT."
He laughed, and pulled her flat against him. "You're so adorable."
She sighed and placed her hand in his. "I know, that's why you love me."
"You're right there. But, I need you to get off of me. Chris is going to stop by, and we have a bet going."
She laughed and rolled over, allowing him to get up. "Have fun watching the game. If you need me, I'll be up here either writing or taking a nap."
He kissed her lips quickly and walked out the door. She drummed her fingers on the mattress, before deciding to read something. She walked around to his closet, wondering if he would have any magazines or anything that she might like to look at. Her eyes searched around, and came to rest on a medium sized black book.
Her curiosity got the best of her, and she opened it up. Her eyes skimmed over the first page, and she couldn't stop reading once she realized that it was his diary. She had heard rumors that he had one while they were over seas, and she couldn't keep but wonder how his life was before she was in it. She walked over to the bed, laid down, and began reading into the past of Jc.
*note I have no clue if these dates are correct or not*
May 1997 Being in Europe has to be a mind blowing experience. It's hard being away from my family, friends, and potential girlfriends. Yet, performing over here, and seeing our small fan base happy, is enough to make a smile appear on my face.
Lou says that things are going to get hectic...that's just hard to imagine. We're just five guys that are doing what we love to do, so I don't really see how we could become such a "Hot" item. It's great being with the guys. Chris keeps us from missing home too much, with his nonstop jokes, Joey always helps us smile, Lance is breaking out of his quiet shell, and Justin...I feel sorry for Jusitn. He keeps talking about some girl back in the states that he misses, yet..he's trying to hide the fact that he's scared. He's having to grow up a lot sooner than he would probably like, but that is something he's having to do in order to "make it big". Tonight, we had a small concert I guess you could call it, in this new club that had opened up.
Most of the people had no clue who we were, but they seemed to be into our music. It's just really hard to explain the feelings that you can get when you're up on stage performing. I miss Melissa. She's important to me, and I know being away from her isn't helping us start the relationship that we're wanting to. But, I have a feeling that she'll always be the one for me.
It's late, and I have to live up to my reputatin of being the one that craves sleep. Catch ya soon, Josh
August 1997
It's funny how things have slowly changed over the past few months. I've kept you up to date on the small things that have been happening, but I have ignored the much larger ones. We're quiet popular here now. Our first song, I Want You Back is doing really well. We're starting to get recognized now...and Lou says that we will soon be getting a body guard. I don't see why we need one. I don't think that we will honestly become that popular to the point of needing human protection. It just doesn't seem possible.
Melissa and I are drifting apart, if that's even possible. I want so much to see her, hold her in my arms and make her see that she'll always be the only girl that I could ever love. I talk to her every chance that I get, but we're now having to do photo shoots...can you imagine that....us..they want pictures of us. It just doesn't make sense to me.
I'm beat...sleep is coming hard to get. I found myself sleeping on a table, which is something that I would never do. Off to dream of Melissa, Jc
As she read, her curiosity got the best of her. She had never heard of a girl named Melissa. Jc had never once talked about her, but from reading this, she had truly been special to him at one point. If he had talked about her being the only girl for him, then something major must have happened for them to drift apart. She turned to another page and began to read.
April 1998
It's really funny if you look back on your life and imagine that something will always be in it. She's gone....and I didn't get to say goodbye. She was involed in a bad car crash, and was killed instantly in the crash. I didn't get to tell her what she meant to me..and I didn't get to tell her how much I loved her, and how much I wanted to be with her. I'll never have that chance. My first and probably only true love, Melissa, is gone.
Things in life don't have a purpose anymore. I couldn't even began to describe the pain that is going through my heart at this moment. No one can ever take her place of what she meant to me. We have the next three days off, and I'm going back home for her funeral. I don't know if I can say goodbye to her..just seeing here there will probably be more than I can bare.
Things are going good over seas, and things are really taking off here in the US. We're recognized a lot more..its weird to walk down your street and some girl comes up and asks you for an autograph. It's funny that my little signature can mean so much to one person. I never thought that something that I didn't value, could bring a smile to someone else's face.
That's all I can write. The tears are threatening to flow, and I just need time to grasp everything that is happening to me. Talk to you soon, Jc
She wiped away a tear as she read on. She hadn't known about any of this. She knew that she should have stopped reading, but she couldn't. She was hooked, and itching to know what else had happened before she met him.
January 1999
Sweat, pain, and tears...that's what goes into recording an album. We are working on our new album, and we think the title is going to be No Strings Attatched. It's funny how a song title can fit your life so perfect. No Strings....that's how my love life is. I finally found a girl that I care about...yet I find out she's using me for one reason..my status.
I am honestly starting to believe that I'll never find a girl that could take Melissa's place. She was so perfect, and I'm finding it hard to find someone that matches what she did in my eyes. She just seemed like the type of girl that I had always dreamed about. It's been almost a year since her death, and yet she is still in my dreams. Atleast there, I get to hold her and tell her how much she means to me. Knowing, that one day I'l acutally be able to do that, when we're reunited again.
Whitney wipped away her tears, and paused from reading a moment to look around the room. Did she amount up to what Melissa's had? Or, was she just a close second, that was here to help heal Jc?
The lawsuit is something that is emotionally draining. Our fans want new stuff, and there's no way to get it to them. Everyone wants money from what we are doing, and all that we want to do is produce music and let out fans be happy. Yet, we are being held back from that, and its not fair. We give so much, and yet they take it all away. We were tired and it took getting to these circumstances to see what was wrong. When Lance got sick, that was our eye opener.
Too many things are running through my head at this moment. I'm going to go, maybe play basketball and clear them. Catch ya soon Jc
August 1999
Things are still tied up in court. We're having to push our album release back even further. Its finished and just waiting to hit the music stands..yet we can't do anything with it. We're restless, and ready to start touring again. Being out on the road takes so much out of you, but you get a reward from it. The other day I was sitting here thinking about when we first started out, and how I never thought that we could get this big. It's funny how your life course can change in an instant.
You see people come and go, some of them you hate to see leave, and then some of them you're glad. You want to surround yourself with people that honestly want you to succeed and not to just make a profit off of what you're doing.
I can't honestly say that I hate Lou...he helped us get started, and I'll always be thankful for that,yet I can't say that I don't have disgust in my eyes every time that I see the man. He makes me sick at my stomach sometimes..he's always smiling, like he knows that he's won and we'll never have what we deserve. It's so wrong for someone to be like that, I can't even start to describe those feelings.
Justin is depressed. It seems that the girl that he is really close friends with, is going out with some guy that he severly disapproves of. I think he likes her, yet is afraid of ruining the friendship.
Whitney looked up from reading, and her eyes narrowed. So, Jc had this sense of the feelings, yet he had been mad when Justin finally admitted them. Yes, it was true, they weren't dating at the time, but it still didn't give him the reason to get mad like he had.
Hopefully I'll have something interesting to write about, and not just depressing stuff. I'm off to Chris's house to watch a football game, go Redskins JC
January 2000
Happy New Year. Well, its the year 2000 and nothing major happened. I met this amazing girl last night, named Whitney. That's the girl that is close friend's with Justin. I honestly think that we hit it off really well. The party last night was awesome, and the fireworks and decorations made the night even more special. We also got some good news last night, our album is going to be released in March. And, as I told you earlier on, we're free from Lou and Transcon, we're now JIVE employees and I have to say that they are so much nicer.
Back to last night though, Whitney and Justin are very close friends. I think the feelings that he once had for her are gone. She's really smart and cute too. Just like Melissa was, yet she has a special glow about her. She's not the hottest girl that I've ever seen, but neither was Melissa. The thing that atrracted me to her most, was her smile. Her eyes, even though they are brown, seem to have hidden depths to them.
But, I'll get off that subject. I'm restless tonight...I've tried to lay down, but something keeps waking me up. I guess I'll go...JC
Whitney looked up from the page she was reading. She remembered that night that they had met. She had went to Hawaii for the special that they were doing for New Years, and she had went to a party with Justin afterwards. There she had met all of the guys, and the connection to Jc had been instant.
That night she had went home, with thoughts of the way his eyes had twinkled when he laughed. That had been the night that she had broken up with her long time boyfriend, Erik. He had called her in Hawaii, and confessed that he had cheated on her. That was the night that she saw her heart break as he talked to her. Yet, finding Jc was like finding a special healing agent.
April 2000
I did it today..its offical...Whitney and I are going out. Yes, I know that sounded like a teenager thing to start off writing about, but this is just a big highlight for me. She understands me and we've only known each other for three months. It's like we had an instant connection.
She knows the moods I am in, and I know that they aren't hard to read, but its just weird at how two people can feel that connection, especially after only knowing each other for a short amount of time. I just got off the phone with her, yes I asked her out by phone, but that's the only way I could do it! If I waited she might move on and I wasn't about to let her slip through my fingers, and I already miss her...I've fallen..and I'm beginning to think that I've fallen hard.
Not that I'm complaining. I think that we could be together for a while, and right now, I'm thinking of only her. Well, I've probably bored your umm paper off..yes I know that was stupid, but oh well. It's off to think..of her. JC
Whitney wiped the tears from her eyes. She didn't know that he had felt that way when they had first met. She had always thought that it was just a crush..but was she wrong. She flipped through and found another page that caught her eye.
July 2000
I've screwed up big time..I can't believe what I did. My birthday is in two weeks, and she flew out to see me, ..thanks to Justin. It was a surprise and I had no idea that it was going to happen.
The guys took me out to a club, to celebrate my birthday. I didn't think it would hurt anything to have a few drinks..you're birthday only comes once right? Well, I had more than I intended, and well I started dancing with some girl...I can't even remember her name. To make a long story short, I turn around after kissing this girl, and I mean it was a kiss..I see Whitney's face..full of anger and pain.
I've screwed up. The look that was in her eyes..alcohol can't hide. She hates me now..I dont know what I was thinking. Hell, I wasn't thinking. All I know is I can't lose her. I'd be lost if I lose her...not having her smile there to encourage me..not having her arms there to hold me when things get so hectic that I can't take them. What have I done? She ran out of there before I could explain, and not even Justin knows where she went. I need to find her and try and explain..hell how can I explain what I did? She got the full view of it..my lips touched someone else's..and yes I know its not the end of the world..its a girl..but this girl..she's my everything. She's my inspiration for the music that I write, she's the one that fills my dreams at night, and she's the one that holds my nerves together when they are on ends. She has to come back to me. The only thing running through my head right now is the fact that she could be gone forever from my life. Or, that she won't ever talk to me, and I'll have to see her when she comes to see Justin..and that means that my heart wants to reach out to her, yet she won't accept it.
Yet, I'm praying right now,..I need her...I just want my baby back in my life. JC
Whitney looked up as she read the last line, to see Jc standing in the doorway. She was caught and she didn't know what to say. His eyes were narrowed, and he had an expressionless look on his face. It was going to take a lot of talking to get her out of this one.