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If I Don't Have you




Rated: PG-13. Special thanks to Ashley!

"Whatever reason to leave that I've had, my place was always beside you, and I wish that I didn't need you so bad, your face just won't go away . . . "


https://www.angelfire.com/boybands/backstreetboyfanfic1
Alternagrl_Sparkie@hotmail.com

Prologue- Ok, Jessica was actually the first person to meet a Backstreet Boy..she was attending college in Orlando Florida when she met Howie at a bar...they became instant friends and soon started dating....well eventually they got married....but not before Howie and Jess decided to hook up Kevin with Jessica's best friend Ashley...they just had too much in common to not set them up....Let's just say it was the blind date from hell...everything that could go wrong did.....but somehow they actually had a good time....So that's how they are a couple....A.J. and Jennifer just met at a bar...I know sounds romantic but they are really cute together...and Becca met Nick at a pizza joint...even more romantic right

“Check it out” Kevin said, holding out the diamond engagement ring, Brian, Howie and Nick nodded, a sign that it was appropriate, A.J. looked stunned

“Hold up,” he said “your giving her a ring with only 2 small diamonds? Uh, hello, what happened to the rock?”

“A.J., it’s an engagement ring” Kevin replied “Not the actual wedding band”

“Oh, so she’ll get a real rock later?”

“Oh good God A.J.,” Howie interrupted, “some women don’t like a lot of diamonds you know” A.J. let out a kind-of snort

“Name three women that don’t like diamonds, what am I talking about, name one.” he said, making them all laugh, “So when you gonna pop the question?” Howie asked, changing the subject

“and how” Nick added, they looked at him, “what!” He said defensively “hey, I need to get an idea of how to ask appropriately, it’ll come in handy some day” Brian laughed

“ok Nicky boy, this is how you ask a woman to marry you” he got down on one knee and took Nicks left hand, “Nick, you are my life and my world revolves around you, will you marry me?” Nick put one hand dramatically over his heart

“Brian, I’m, I’m speechless, but, I can’t marry you, I’m in love with A.J.” he said, pretending to cry

“Well in that case,” A.J. said “lets split this joint, go to Vegas and get hitched”. They laughed again.

“Actually I hired this company to spell out ‘Ashley will you marry me’ with flower petals in her front yard, and when we get home tonight, and she sees them, I’m gonna get on my knee, sing a little bit of “If I Don’t Have You” and tell her that I love her, and that I want to marry her.”

“Awww” the boys said, teasing him, Kevin smiled, but stopped when he heard the front door open

“Kevin?” a voice called out

“In here honey” he responded, sliding the box into his pocket, and giving the boys a look that basically said ‘Tell her and I will personally murder each and every one of you’. The guys nodded understandingly, Kevin walked over to greet Ashley, “Hey sweetie” he said giving her a hug and a soft, tender kiss

‘God they look so in love’ Howie thought, he felt a lump and immediately thought of his wife, Jessica, and his little girl, Ashley Danielle Dorough. He smiled, remembering when he asked Jessica to marry him ‘your not gonna regret this Kev’ he thought with a small smile ‘your to in love to regret it ’

“Hey you guys” he said out loud, feeling a sudden urge to see his family “I need to get home” he said “But, I’ll see you at the party tonight”

“Bye” they called as he walked towards the door

“Bye” he called over his shoulder, walking out the door.

“Speaking of getting home. . . .” Nick said, glancing at his watch“I promised Becca I’d be home by 2:30, it’s 2:15, I gotta fly,” he said, running towards the door “Bye guys”

“Bye” They called, One by one they all walked out the door.

***************

“Hey Babe” A.J. said, letting himself inside his funky, newly decorated 2 bedroom home that he shared with Jennifer

“Hey” she said, getting up to greet him, “where were you?”

“Kev’s” he said, taking her in his arms and kissing quickly on the lips “I left you a note”

“Yeah, I found it, it says ‘back by 3, love Alex’ he started to walk towards the couch, arm around her waist,

“I could have sworn I put ‘going to Kev’s’”

“Nope” she said with a small grin, “and it’s 3:05 buddy, you’re late”

“Well then I better make it up to you” he said, sitting on the couch and pulling her into his lap, leaning her against him and kissing her passionately,

“if that’s how you plan on making it up to me, you have one hour till I’ve got to start getting ready for that party” she said, putting her arms around his neck

“Well let’s see how many kisses we can get in, hell, we can even kiss while we’re in the shower” “If you even think your gonna shower with me you’ve got another think coming”

“well then, shut-up and let me kiss you while I can” he said with a devilish grin.

***************

“Kevin, why are you pacing? It’s just a party.” Ashley said, giving her longtime boyfriend a weird look

‘I’m pacing because I’m scared out of my mind’ he thought “Oh, I’m just ready to go” he lied, she smiled

“I’ll be ready to leave as soon as I have this necklace on my neck” she said, he walked over to her and took it out of her hands, she turned her back towards him, pulling her hair out of the way. Kevin slipped the gorgeous saphire necklace he had given her for Christmas around her neck, fastening it in place, and giving her a soft kiss on the neck

“Ready?” She nodded,

“does this look ok?” he ran his eyes the length of her body, she was wearing a blue silk dress that sparkled, bringing out her eyes, she had curled her hair, and had on a matching bracelet and necklace, and a simple silver ring with a small, diamond star on her right middle finger. even they had been dating for over a year and a half, he could never get over her beauty, he couldn’t believe how pretty she looked.

‘Good God, where was she all my life?’ he thought, he loved her more than words could ever say, and desperately wished he could tell her that.

“You look gorgeous” he said honestly. She smiled

“lets go then”

***************

They arrived at the party arm and arm to be greeted at the front door by there managers and record executives. “Kevin!” there manager called to him, waving him over

“be right back honey” he said, kissing her on the cheek and walking over to the managers. Ashley spotted Jenn, Becca, and a blonde girl talking in the corner, she wondered over to them.

“Hey”, Jenn and Becca smiled, and the blonde girl turned around, it was her old friend Gloria “Gloria!” Ashley shrieked, shocked.

“Hey” Gloria said, smiling, giving Ashley a hug, Ashley, of course, started crying, but hey, Gloria was too

“It’s been one year, why don’t you call anymore!?” Ashley asked, wiping her tears

“Busy, busy, busy” Gloria said

“How’s it going with you and Drew?” Ashley asked “Dumped his sorry ass” Gloria said “He pushed the wrong button too many times” They continued to talk and catch up on each others lives.

***************

“Ok, talk to you later, I’ve got to catch my girlfriend” Kevin said, wondering away from the managers, Howie, and Brian, he spotted Ashley talking to some friends across the room and walked towards them, Ashley looked up and spotted him coming

“Uh Gloria” She said, “you remember when we were in high school how we used to joke around saying we would date the Backstreet Boys?” Gloria nodded, Kevin walked over and took her hand “Gloria, meet my boyfriend Kevin” Gloria ’s mouth dropped open, she turned to Ashley

“Ok, start talking, how’d you meet” Ashley laughed, just then Jessica and Howie walked over, hand in hand. Gloria’s mouth dropped once again, “You really better start talking” Ashley smiled as she started the story of how her and Kevin met. . . . .

**************

“Man, they are laughing loud” A.J. said to Jenn and Brian, “wonder what they ’re talking about?”

“When Ash and Kev first met” Jenn replied, “or at least, that’s what they were talking about when I left to come find you” A.J. smiled at Jenn and bowed as a slow song came on “May I have this dance?” she grinned

“of course” Brian smiled as they walked out in the middle and started dancing, A.J. started talking and Jenn was soon laughing. Brian smiled, and walked over to Kevin, Ashley, Becca, Howie, Jessica, and a very attractive blonde. He reached them in time to hear Kevin say “and then, she managed to spill coke all over me while helping clean off the popcorn she had just spilled on me” they burst into laughter

“that’s not the worst of it” Ashley said, “because after hours of trying on clothes, I picked this white shirt, and Kevin managed to land a slice of pizza smothered in sauce on it, the shirt is, needless to say, ruined”. They laughed even harder

“Hey Brian” Kevin said as he joined them

“hey” he turned to Gloria “I see they’re telling you about their first date?” she nodded “oh by the way,” Ashley said “Brian, this is Gloria, Gloria, this is Brian” Gloria and Brian just stared at each other, ‘instant attraction’ Ashley realized with a smile. They chatted a while longer. Then Ashley and Kevin went off to dance, finally, they all were dancing, till people started leaving. Ashley leaned against Kevin, he quietly sang her favorite song to her, which he had asked the DJ to play

“If I don’t have you, to hold on to,

I can’t go on, this world alone,

baby it’s true,

if we said good bye,

girl I would die,

I’m gonna start with no lie,

a day with no night,

if I don’t have you”

Ashley felt so safe in his arms, she stared into his eyes as he sang to her “I love you” she whispered

“I love you too” he whispered back, pulling her closer “I love you so much”. Finally the song ended. Ashley and Kevin said goodbye and walked back out to his car, she climbed in, buckling her seatbelt. Kevin wondered if the company had spelled out the message in rose petals yet, he looked at his watch ‘1:35, yeah, I’m sure they have by now’. He couldn’t wait to see her face when he asked her, he had been impatient all night, but now, he would finally marry the girl he loved so much. About 15 minutes down the road the car started to sputtter, and finally, stopped

“what happened?” Ashley asked, Kevin shrugged, trying to start the car. But after a few minutes battle, the car won, refusing to start

“shit” Kevin said “I guess we need to call Nick”

“but they have a 30 minute trip to get here, plus, your gonna be interrupting him and his girlfriend” Ashley said

“yeah, well, this car refuses to make it, and Nick's the most convenient”

“True” Ashley agreed. Kevin stepped out, and, with the help of Ashley, managed to get the car off the side of the road, then called Nick, who said he would be there in 30 minutes . They climbed back in and sat there, “Brian and Gloria got along pretty good”

“Sure did,” agreed Kevin “it’s about time Brian met a good girl, I told him I got lucky, I already met the girl of my dreams” Ashley smiled at him, Kevin took her hand, leaning towards her, wanting to kiss her, a knock on the window caused them to both jump. Kevin turned towards the window, rolling it down, a young man was standing there, smiling

“Need some help?”

“We sure do!” Kevin said, grateful, and started to open his door, the guy grabbed the handle, flinging it open, and another guy did the same with Ashley’s door, holding a gun to her head.

“NO!” Kevin said, “please, don’t hurt her!”

“Out of the car” the guy said to Ashley, she felt tears well up in her eyes, ‘dear God, no, this isn’t happening’ she thought, to frightened to move, she noticed the other guy had a gun also pressed to Kevin’s temple “out!” the guy ordered gruffly, he started to pull on her, but she had rebuckled her seatbelt, causing him to get mad “dammit you bitch!” tears streamed down her face “unbuckle that thing and get out!” Ashley was shaking as she tried to unbuckle her seatbelt, but was unable to, her nervousness wouldn’t let her.

“I said don’t hurt her, let her go!” Kevin screamed at the guy holding Ashley

“Shut up!” the guy said “dammit, out, unbuckle that damn thing!” Ashley cried harder

“Leave her alone!” Kevin yelled again, he wasn’t about to let this guy hurt the girl he loved.

“Dammit, I said shut-up, do I have to force you!?” the guy yelled back

“Get your fucking hands off her!” Kevin yelled the guy pointed his gun and shot Kevin in the thigh

“Kevin!” Ashley screamed, unbuckling her seatbelt and going towards him,

“out!” the guys ordered, Ashley wasn’t about to leave Kevin’s side, she loved him, and he was hurt. The guy grabbed her and forced her out, throwing her on the ground, momentarily knocking the air out of her, he went on top of her, ripping off her dress, and forcing her bra off ‘he’s gonna rape me’ she realized. Using her knees she managed to get him off her, she rolled away from him, trying to get up, but the guy grabbed her again, “where you think your going bitch?” Ashley screamed, tears were pouring down her face now, ‘No God, please, help me, don’t let this happen!’

“Let her go!” A deep voice yelled at the guy, he looked up, she glanced over, and saw Kevin, trying to get to her, obviously in pain from where the guy had shot him, she kneed the guy off her again, hitting him where no man wants to be hit. She ran at Kevin

“Steve, stop her!” the guy yelled, holding himself, Steve pointed his gun towards her, and shot, she froze, seeing her life pass before her eyes, her head turning towards the sound of the gun

“NOOOOOOO!!!” Kevin screamed, throwing himself in front of her, the bullet hit him directly in the chest, and he fell to the ground.

“KEVIN!!” Ashley screamed

“Shit! Here comes lights!” One of the guys yelled, both of them dashing into the woods.

“Kevin” Ashley whispered, kneeling over him. His eyes filled with tears of pain mixed with love for her

“Honey, reach in my pocket” he whispered painfully, she reached carefully into his pocket and pulled out a small black box “Open. . . it” he whispered, grimacing, she opened it and saw a diamond engagement ring, she looked back at Kevin, her eyes watering “I. . .. . . love. . . . .you. . .. Ashley. . . and only. . . you” Kevin gasped out, a single tear fell down his cheek as he closed his eyes

“KEVIN! NO!!” she screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks “No!” she sobbed, grabbing his hand, “NO! Kevin, please, wake up baby, wake up!” she felt hands on her shoulders, she whipped around it was Nick

“What the hell” he whispered “Ashley, what happened?” Ashley didn’t respond, just cry “Here” Nick said taking off his jacket and pulling it around her “we need to go to the police”. Ashley began to walk with him, taking one final look at the man she loved.

2000 Sparkie