ANGEL IN DISGUISE

CHAPTER 1

I had just moved to Florida to start a new life. It has been eleven years since that fearful incident . . . . the incident that left me withdrawn, depressed and not able to trust men. It's funny how after months and months of therapy, I'm able to say, "HI . . . MY NAME IS ANNIE AND I AM A RAPE SURVIVOR." Yes, that is what I was and still am . . . A SURVIVOR. I had spoke to my therapist in our last session about starting a new life in a new place. She felt that it would be a great step for me. To finally leave those memories behind and start anew. So . . . here I am. I had moved into a small apartment in Orlando. Eventually I would have to find a job but for now I wanted to spend time alone. I had saved up enough money to live on for a few months plus an inheritance I received from my grandfather after his death. I was set for the next few months.

I had been unpacking all morning the third day I was there. I was exhausted and decided to call it quits. I took a quick shower and got dressed. I figured a pretty sundress would do since I had planned on walking the beautiful beaches here. I had picked out a long, flowing, yellow sundress. It came to about my ankles. It had a thin waist tie which I had tied into a bow on back of the dress. I didn't bother putting my hair up since I love having the breeze blow through my hair. I put on simple sandals and a sterling silver anklet on my left ankle. I had a little breakfast and then walked outside into my car and headed out. I wasn't familiar with Orlando so I took a map along with me. I picked a beach near by not even bothering to look at the name.

When I arrived, the beach wasn't very crowded. It was a weekday, Tuesday, actually. I parked my car, got out, took my sandals off and made my way through the sand. It was silky and warm against my feet. I got to the water and the temperature was perfect. I stood there for a bit and looked out. The water was a beautiful blue. The sky was clear with puffy white clouds here and there. The sun was shining. It was beautiful!! And what made it so perfect was the soft sea breeze blowing. At that point, I knew that I would love it here. My only fear was to jump the next hurdle . . . . . . being able to make new friends . . . men in particular.

CHAPTER 2

I started my way down the beach thinking about the discussion my therapist and I had about how to deal with men again. She had told me that she wasn't sure how long it would be before I was able to deal with the male species. She said it all depended on me . . . . that I would know when I was ready. As I was walking, I happened to look up and notice a tall, tan and blond young man, about 19-20, walking towards me. As he was walking, he was looking out at the water. He looked so familiar the closer he got. I just couldn't pinpoint his face. He happened to look up and threw me the most gorgeous smile. Once he caught me looking, I immediately looked down, hoping that he wouldn't stop and want to chit-chat. A voice in me kept saying, "Please don't stop and talk with me!!" I had such a big fear of men that sometimes I would get anxiety attacks just from their presence. I shut my eyes in the hopes that this man would just walk by me then . . . . "Hi, nice day at the beach, isn't it?" I looked up and finally recognized who he was. How could any girl not recognize this young man with those beautiful blue eyes??? It was Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys. I had heard some of their songs play on the radio and I actually bought their CD. But that was all I knew of the boy group. Anyways, I really didn't look him in the eye but answered his question hesitantly. "Yes, it is." "You're not from around here, are you?", he asked. "No," I said. "Where are you from?" "I'm from California," I said. "AAHHH . . . Sunny California . . . ," he replied. I stood in silence for a few seconds, wading my feet as the waves came to shore. "You have family here?" "No," I said. "Then what brings you here from California?", he asked. I really didn't want to get into detail with him. I was really nervous. Not nervous because he was NICK CARTER of BSB but nervous that I was in the presence of a male. It uneased me. "You're a very curious person, aren't you?", I asked. "Oh, I'm sorry . . . I didn't mean to sound or be nosey," he replied. I told him that it was okay. Again . . . there was silence. "Well, I guess I better be going now. I have a lot of unpacking to do," I said as I started to walk away. Then he called to me over the sound of the waves and said, "Hey, I didn't even get your name." I smiled at him and hollared, "My name is Annie." Then he began to introduce himself, "I'm Nick . . . ." "I know . . . . Nick Carter," I yelled as I moved further away, "Of the Backstreet Boys." He flashed that lovely smile of his as I ran across the sand to my car. I got into my car and as I drove away, I waved good-bye.

CHAPTER 3

I awoke the next morning surprised that I was thinking about my chance encounter with Nick. I knew a little about him and the guys. I decided that I was going to take a break from unpacking. Besides, I only had two or three small boxes to unpack. My quest for the day? "Hmmmm," I said to myself. I decided to read up more on BSB. I ate a little breakfast, hopped into the shower and got ready. I headed to the nearest store. Once I got there, I picked up a few magazines that had articles on the boys. I paid for the magazines, and some snacks, and headed out to the beach, still not remembering the name, that I had met Nick on.

After reading a few articles, I realized that these guys were hot. Concerts all over the world were sold out. I was so into reading the magazines that I didn't even hear Nick walk up behind me. "Good morning, Annie," he said. I was startled and kind of jumped up from the sand. Nick chuckled. "You scared me," I said in a surprised voice. Nick chuckled again. I sort of got miffed at him and said, "It's not funny." He noticed the slight sarcasm in my voice and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." "You don't just walk up behind people like that," I told him. "I said I was sorry," he replied. I felt kind of bad at how I had responded to him but it was just that protective side of me that took over. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that, I . . . ," and before I could finish my sentence, he said, "Don't worry about it. I would rather you be sarcastic with me than screaming and clawing at my clothes." I smiled at him and asked, "I thought you famous guys like that stuff." "Yeah, to a certain extent," he replied with a sly smile. I sat back down on the sand and gathered the magazines up into a small pile. "Doing some research?" he asked with a smile as he eyed the magazines. He sat down next to me and I replied, "Yeah, kind of." It was really strange. This was only my second encounter with a male in eleven years and I realized that I didn't feel as uneasy as I did yesterday. And this particular male was thirteen years younger than me. It was just something about him that in some ways I could connect. I ignored the thought and just looked out into the ocean. "So, you know who I am," Nick said with a smile. "Yeah, I've heard of you and the guys," I replied. "Are you taking a break from touring? That was one long European Tour and now you're getting ready for your US Tour," I said. "Yeah . . . ," he replied, "I'm really exhausted but I love performing on stage." "I read that you are from here, Orlando, I mean," I said. "Yeah, my family is out here," he replied. "How about you? You have family out here?" he asked. "No, no family. Just little old me. My family are all in California," I replied. "Wow! That is a long way from family," he responded. I said, "Yeah, it is but I wanted to start somewhere new." Then I thought to myself 'You idiot . . . you said more than you wanted.' He must have sensed my hesitation in not saying anymore because there was that strange silence again. Nick looked down at his watch and asked, "Are you hungry?" I hadn't realized how late it was. "I had some snacks but I guess I could eat a little something," I replied. "Great! I know this really good burger place. Come on . . ." He helped me up and we started our way across the sand towards our cars. As we were walking, I thought to myself, 'Where is this going?" I couldn't believe the thoughts that were running through my head as we ate. It was the strangest thing. And I know that I wasn't ready to deal with a male friend . . . . . or was I? I kept telling myself that it was too soon but then another side of me would say, 'Annie, it's been eleven years!! Wake up!" Although we were having a great conversation, inside I was arguing with myself. I finally put the argument to rest and just shoved the thought aside again. We finished eating and then started back out to our cars. "Thanks for lunch, Nick," I said. "Hey, no problem. It's kind of nice to talk to a fan in a normal way," he replied. "You called me a fan," I said. "Are you a fan??" "Hmmm, I don't know . . . I could be," I replied with a smile. With that, I started to get into my car. He called over to me as I was getting ready to close my car door. I opened the passenger's side window. He walked over and asked shyly, "Um, when will I see you again?" "Are you asking me out on a date?" I couldn't believe what was coming out of my mouth. Inside I was telling 'me' to shut up. But my mouth and brain acted on their own. "Yeah, I guess I am asking you out?" he replied as he laughed slightly. "How about Saturday?" I asked. "Saturday is fine. You'll get to meet the guys, too. Three o'clock sound good?" he asked. "Three is fine." We exchanged phone numbers. He said that he would call me before Saturday to get directions to my place. And then we went our separate ways for that day.

As I was driving home, I still couldn't believe what had happened. Was I actually ready to be friends with a man? I couldn't understand it. I just didn't know where this was taking me.

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