************************************************************************************************************** CHAPTER 7 ************************************************************************************************************** Nick arrived on time just like he did on our first date. I opened the door to this time a dozen red roses. I looked at Nick and said, “Oh my, how beautiful. Thank you.” Nick gave me that million dollar smile that made me melt. I took the roses from his hands and brought them into the kitchen. I pulled out one of my favorite crystal vases, filled it with water and placed the roses in them. As I was rearranging them, I felt Nick’s arms come around my waist. My heart began to pound and my head began to swirl. This was my reaction everytime he came close. “I missed you,” he whispered in my ear. His embrace tightened and he started tracing kisses on the back of my head. My hands fell over his and our fingers entwined. “Nick, what is with you,” I asked. “What do you mean,” he replied. “Why are you so persistent and determined with me,” I asked. He turned me around to face him and said, “I don’t know what it is about you that drives me nuts,” he said with a smile. “You’re not like other girls that I’ve dated. Maybe that’s it, you’re not a girl, you’re a woman,” he said. I looked at him and said, “Well, you know me but you really don’t know me.” Nick looked at me puzzled. “Well, there are things that have happened in my life. I moved to Florida for a reason,” I said. I pulled from his embrace and walked into the front room. Nick followed. He tried to hold me again and I pushed away. “And I’m afraid that if I open up to you, I’ll ruin what we have,” I said. “Annie, nothing you say can ruin what I feel for you,” he replied. “But you don’t understand,” I told him. “I have come a really long way,” I said. “The relationships I’ve tried to have all ended because of me,” I said. I began to cry. “Annie, what’s wrong? What’s stopping you? I know you feel the same way that I do,” Nick replied. “Whatever it is, it’s not going to ruin you and me,” he said. Nick came over and held me. It felt so good to be in his embrace again, to smell his cologne. It felt so safe. We were quiet for a bit. Nick took my chin, just as he did on the beach, and had me look him in the eyes. He gently wiped the tears from my face. My heart was racing again and my breathing started to become deep. I could feel his heart beat through his chest. Nick didn’t say a word but in his eyes I could see that he was saying ‘I want to kiss you. Please don’t pull away.’ He lowered his lips to mine and gently brushed them with his for a few minutes. He took his time. “You’re trembling,” he whispered. “I’m scared, Nick,” I replied. “Don’t be,” he replied. As we traced kisses over eachother’s lips, I whispered, “I’m not ready . . . I can’t . . .” “I won’t rush you,” he responded. At that, his lips found mine and we were locked. I realized at that point that I had fallen in love with him and that it was crazy to fight what I was feeling. We inched to the floor. I ran my fingers through that beautiful blond hair and his embrace tightened. I took a deep breath and gently pushed away. “What’s wrong,” he asked as he kept tracing kisses on my face. “Nick, I really need to slow down. I need time. I’m really not ready for this,” I said. Nick took a deep sigh and looked at me. “Well, I wouldn’t want to do anything you wouldn’t want to do,” he said with a sly smile. Oh gosh! That crooked smile of his drove me nuts. I play punched him in the stomach as we both laughed. “You are crazy . . . . but I . .,” I paused. Nick’s eyes widened and asked, “You what?” “I, uh, I . . .,” I replied teasing him. “You what?” You could see the anticipation in Nick’s face, the anticipation to hear those three words. I smiled at him and finally said, “I love you, Nicholas Gene Carter.” Nick looked at me in shock and stood up. He pulled me up from the floor and asked, “What did you say? Did you just say what I think you said?” His face brightened. He looked like a little kid with a new toy. “Yes, I said I love you, Nicholas Gene Carter,” I replied. With that, he picked me up and twirled me around as I laughed at his reaction. “You said it. You actually said it,” Nick said. He finally put me down and said, “And I love you, Annie, with all my heart and soul.” We began to kiss again but I requested that we take our time. Nick agreed. He then asked, “Will you ever open up completely to me?” “Give me time, Nick, give me time,” I replied. We were silent for a bit. “Will you keep me company tonight,” I asked. “It depends on what you had in mind,” he replied with a childish grin. “Nick, come on, you know what I mean,” I hollered. Nick looked at me and said, “Yeah, I’ll keep you company.” I kissed him gently on the lips and took his hand to lead him to my room. We both laid on my bed. He put his arms around me as I laid my head against his chest and we both feel asleep just that way. The next morning, I awoke. I had had a really good sleep. I suddenly remembered last night and looked up. There he was fast asleep. I couldn’t believe it. He respected my wishes and me. He didn’t try anything. I watched him sleep for a bit. I took my hand and gently ran my fingers through his hair. He looked so peaceful. That beautiful blond hair, those eyes. He looked so angelic. Then I began to ask myself, “Did Heaven decide to put this angel in my path for a reason?” That is when I realized . . . . . Nick was my ANGEL IN DISGUISE, sent to earth to make me realize that I could be happy if I wanted to. I took my finger and traced the shape of his face, down his nose and around his lips. He stirred and lazily opened his eyes. “Good morning,” I said. “Good morning to you, too, beautiful,” he said as he smiled with his eyes closed. I cuddle with him more and he pulled me closer. “How did you sleep,” he asked. “Like an angel,” I replied. “How about you,” I asked. “Mmmmmm,” he said as he placed a kiss to my forehead. We laid there and suddenly Nick bolted up. “What’s wrong,” I asked. With that, Nick picked up the phone on the night stand and began to dial. “Bri, hey man, sorry if I didn’t leave a note or anything,” Nick said. “Frack, don’t worry about it,” Brian replied, “I already know where you’re at.” Nick turned around and looked at me with a smile. “Alright, Frick, I’ll see you later,” Nick said and hung up the phone. He looked at me with this skeptical eye and asked, “Did you and Brian talk or something?” “Yeah, I saw him at the mall yesterday,” I replied. “He told me that you have been miserable these past couple of weeks,” I said, “please don’t be mad at Brian. He was only concerned about you. He is like your big brother.” Nick took me in his arms and we both laid down again. “I’m not mad at him, but I’m going to shake his hand when I see him,” Nick said with a smile. He then turned over and we kissed. ************************************************************************************************************** CHAPTER 8 ************************************************************************************************************** We laid in bed for a bit and I finally got up. Nick pulled me back and asked, “Where are you going?” “I’m hungry. Aren’t you?” “Yeah, I’m hungry alright,” he chuckled. I started to tickle him and Nick grabbed me to where I couldn’t move. “Nicholas Gene Carter,” I yelled. “Yes,” Nick replied. “I love you,” I whispered with a smile. His grip loosened and he held me close as his lips found mine. We kissed for what seemed an extremely indefinite long time. Finally I pulled away. “Hey, we got to get up. Don’t you have rehearsals today?” “Yeah . . . . Do you want to come along,” he asked. “Sure,” I said. They were rehearsing for their US Tour, which would start next month. “I have to stop off at my parents place first to get a few things,” Nick said. A week after we met he had moved in with Brian and AJ. Brian and AJ had a huge house. It was beautiful. It had five master bedrooms each with a huge walk-in closet and fully equipped bathrooms, which had gray and white marble double sinks, a gray and white marble bathtub (with jets for jacuzzi style) and a separate double showerhead shower. It was awesome. The first time I had gone there I only had a chance to see the recreation room which included a huge screen t.v. complete with DVD, VCR and Bose theatre speaker system. It was incredible. I cooked a great breakfast for both Nick and I. After we ate, I told Nick that I was going to take a shower and that I’d be right out. “Can I come,” Nick asked with beckoning eyes. I smiled and said, “No, you may not. Just wait here. Give me ten minutes.” I hopped into the shower. When I got out, I wrapped myself up in a towel. I towel dried my dark brown hair and took the blow dryer to style it. After I finished with my hair and face, I headed for my closet to pick out some clothes to wear. When I opened the bathroom door and started my way to the closet, Nick grabbed me from behind. I screamed, “Nick!!” Nick laughed. “Nick what did I tell you about walking up behind people like that,” I said a little angrily. I walked off towards my closet. Nick knew I was a little miffed. “I’m sorry,” Nick said. I didn’t answer him. He walked up behind me and put his arms around me. “I said I was sorry.” “I’m sorry,” I replied. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. That is the second time I snapped at you since we met,” I said. “Don’t worry about it,” Nick replied. Nick held me close. We kissed again and in between kisses, Nick said, “Hmmmm, what would happen if this towel were to fall off?” I pulled away and eyed him. “You wouldn’t dare,” I said. “I don’t know, I might,” Nick replied. The moment became heated. He led me to my bed and laid me down first. My mind whirling, our hearts beating against eachother. “Nick, we have to stop,” I said as we kissed. “I’ll go slow,” he replied. “No, I . . . I . . ” I could have easily let go and become lost in his kisses. That’s how he affected me. I pushed away as soon as I realized that we were both getting carried away. I looked at Nick. “Please, not yet, not until you know everything about me,” I said. Nick sighed. “Annie, I don’t want to rush you but you already know that I can’t keep away from you,” Nick explained. “I want to make love to you. I want to let you know that everything will be alright,” Nick went on to explain. “I know, I know,” I replied, “but not yet, please.” “What is stopping you? Why can’t you open up to me yet?” “Nick, I told you it’s complicated. I’m afraid. I need time, I’ve told you that. So please,” I pleaded. Nick kissed me again and then looked at me. “Okay,” Nick replied. He pulled me into his arms. We finally made it out the door. Nick was quiet on the way to Brian and AJ’s place. “Why are you so quiet,” I asked. “Nothing, I was just thinking,” Nick replied. “Thinking about what,” I asked. “What I will do without you when me and the guys go on tour,” he replied. I had a feeling that that was not what was bothering him. “Nick, be honest with me,” I told him. “It’s nothing,” he replied as he pulled me next to him. When we got to Nick’s “new pad”, he parked his car. We didn’t get out of the car right away. I knew that something was bothering him. “Nick, what’s wrong?” Nick looked down and said, “I’m just wondering how long it will take you to open up to me.” “Nick, I told you,” I replied. “I can’t just rush into something like this,” I explained. “Annie, you’ve already told me you love me and I’ve told you that I love you. If we love eachother then why can’t you tell me this BIG secret of yours,” he asked in a frustrated voice. At that point, we began yelling at eachother. I finally got fed up, opened the car door and yelled, “What do you want from me? I’ve told you I have to have time.” AJ had heard the yelling and came out to see what was going on. “Hey you two, what is up,” AJ asked. I looked over at AJ and said angrily, “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.” I began to walk down the long driveway. “Where are you going,” Nick yelled. “Home,” I yelled back. “What are you gonna do, walk? If you want to go home so badly now I’ll gladly drive you,” Nick yelled. AJ stood at the doorway of the house dumbstruck. “Nick, take it easy man,” AJ told Nick. Nick shot AJ a heated angry look. “I said I’d drive you home, Annie,” Nick yelled. “I don’t need a ride from you,” I yelled back as I disappeared beyond the bushes of the gate. Nick: Nick shook his head wondering whether he should run after her or not. “Well, are you gonna go get her or what,” AJ asked. At that, Brian came out, “What is going on out here?” “I dunno, man,” AJ replied. Nick stomped past AJ and Brian and up to his room. Brian wanted to check on him but he figured that he would give Nick a little time to cool off. Nick plopped himself on his bed in frustration. He kept asking himself what was it that was stopping her from opening up to him. He wanted to understand but how could he understand if she wouldn’t tell him anything. Brian knocked on Nick’s bedroom door, “Nick,” Brian said. “Yeah,” Nick replied. Brian slowly opened the door. “Hey man, what was that outside,” Brian asked. “Nothing,” Nick replied. “It had to been something the way you two were yelling at eachother,” Brian said. Nick was quiet, just starring up at the ceiling. "Nick,” Brian said. “Frick, man, I love her. Damn! She drives me crazy,” Nick said. “She comes so close to opening up to me and then, poof, she clams up,” Nick explained. Brian noted the frustration in Nick’s voice. “Hey, can I be up front and honest with you?” “About what,” Nick asked. “I might be stupid to think this but . .” Nick knew what Brian was about to ask, “ Hell no, Bri. I ain’t like that and you know that!!” “Hey, I’m sorry. I was just wondering,” Brian replied. “Nick, whatever it is that is stopping Annie, it must be something she needs to get over,” Brian explained. “Annie seems to be a sensitive person. She needs her space,” Brian went on to explain. “Nick, when Annie and I talked, she didn’t have to say it in words, man, she does love you. I know it, I could tell,” Brian said. “Yeah and,” Nick replied. Brian sighed, “Nick, she’ll eventually come around. Just be patient.” “I know, I know. Sometimes I can’t help myself. Bri, I have fallen deep, I have to admit that to you,” Nick replied. “I know man. I knew from the very first time you met her,” Brian said. They both smiled at eachother and did their handshake. ************************************************************************************************************** CHAPTER 9 ************************************************************************************************************** I finally got home. I slammed my purse on the table and went to my room. I sat on the bed and then laid down. I thought about what had happened. “Ooooo,” I thought as I clenched my fist. “Nicholas Gene Carter, if I didn’t love you so much, I . . .,” I took one of my pillows and began thrashing it against the bed and then fell down in tears. A voice inside of me was asking, ‘Annie, what is with you? Here is this beautiful young man whom heaven put in your path and you screw it up!’ “Shut up,” I told the voice. “I know, I know,” I yelled. I wanted to tell him everything but I didn’t know how. “Yeah Nick, this is what you didn’t know about me. I’m a rape survivor,” I yelled out. I was afraid of how he would react to that. I sat there for a bit and then looked over at the side that Nick was sleeping on earlier this morning. I remembered that angelic face of his and how peaceful he had looked, his blue eyes when they lazily opened and wished me a good morning. I then looked at the phone on the nightstand. I crawled across the bed and looked at it. I started to pick it up and then pulled my hand away. I threw my hands up in frustration and decided that I would call. When I went back to pick the phone up, it rang. I just sat there and let it ring. Finally my machine picked it up. “Hi this is Annie. Sorry I missed your call but leave a message and I’ll call you back.” “Annie, are you there? Please pick up.” Nick sounded so cute. I picked up the phone, “Nick, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened with me earlier. Please forgive me.” I rambled on until Nick cut me off, “Hey, slow down. I should be the one who is sorry. I pushed you and I shouldn’t have done that.” “No, it’s my fault, I should be sorry, Nick,” I replied. We both fell silent then laughed. “You know, Annie, you are just too, too much,” Nick said. “In what way am I too much?” Nick laughed again. “Hey, how about we meet for dinner,” he suggested. “Sure,” I replied. “I’ll pick you up at seven, okay?” “Yeah, okay, I’ll see you later,” I replied. I was about to hang up the phone when he called to me, “Hey.” “Yes, Mr. Carter,” I teased. “I love you,” he said softly. “I love you, too,” I replied. Then we both hung up our phones. Seven came around and I was waiting for Nick in the front room. I have never felt so anxious. I kind of giggled at the feeling. It felt good. Finally, a knock at the door. I jumped in anticipation. Of course, I knew who it was. As soon as I opened the door, I hugged Nick and gave him the most sensuous kiss just to tell him I was sorry for earlier. He responded with the same urgency. We finally pulled away from eachother but stayed in our embrace. “WOW,” Nick complimented. “What,” I asked. He looked at me and asked, “Can we repeat that?” I laughed. I looked at him and said, “I just realized something.” “What,” he asked. “I’m gonna hate it when we fight,” I replied, “I’m was so miserable after I left you earlier.” He just smiled at me and said, “Me, too. Let’s go.” And we were out the door. We got to the restaurant and ate. We sat for a while just talking. Nick was telling me about the plans for the tour. He wanted me to come out to the concert in California. He thought it would be a good idea so that I could go see my parents. I couldn’t believe how thoughtful he was. I agreed and he said that he would have tickets and reservations in the same hotel that him and the guys were staying at for me. We finished off our desert and then Nick paid for the tab. I had noticed the sleeping bag and blankets in the back of his truck when he picked me up. When we got into the truck, I looked at him. “What,” Nick asked. “I was just wondering what the sleeping bag and blankets were doing in the back of your truck?” “Oh, I thought that we could both go to the beach and admire the night sky,” he smiled. “Oh really,” I replied. “Yeah,” he said. “Just admire the night sky,” I asked. Nick brushed his hand against my cheek, “yeah plus I have a surprise for you.” We finally got to the beach and picked out the perfect spot. I kicked off my shoes and ran my feet through the sand. Nick laid out the blankets and propped the sleeping on the side. He unraveled the sleeping back and pulled out a tape recorder. I watched him as he set it up. He went to turn the tape recorder on and said to me, “this is your surprise.” The familiar tune of the piano rose into the breezy evening . . . . I NEED YOU. Nick stood a few feet in front of me and sang those familiar words to the song that I listened to so many times. “Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Open up your heart to me . . . . and say what’s on your mind. Oh yes ….. I know that we have been through so much pain. But I still need you in my life this time. And I need you tonight, I need you right now. I know deep within my heart, it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right. I really need you tonight. I figured out what to say to you, mmm, sometimes the words they, they come out so wrong, oh yes they do. And I know in time that you will understand, that what we have is so right this time. And I need you tonight, I need you right now, I know deep within my heart, it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right. All those endless times we tried to make it last forever more and baby I know I need you. I know deep within my heart, it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right, I really need you, oh oh oh, I need you oh I need you baby, it’s gotta be this it’s gotta be this, no, it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or it’s right. All I know is baby, I really need you tonight.” During the last verse of the song, he knelt down in front of me and held out his arms to me. Half way through the song, I started to cry. I couldn’t believe this man. He was so genuine. He was this wonderful person who had set out to prove his love for me. I took his hands and pulled him to me. I looked at him with teary eyes and said, “You are heaven sent. You were put in my path for a reason.” He smiled, “I didn’t know any other way to prove to you that I can make you happy, that whatever it was I can make you forget,” he explained. “Well, you have proven it,” I said as I began to cry even more. At that point, I knew I was ready to open up my heart to Nick and I knew that he was ready to accept.
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