Amanda turned on her stereo. A familiar tune came on. Backstreet boys. Amanda sighed. Standing up, she ran to her stereo before the verse where Nick starts singing. Too late. Her hand reached out for the ‘CD open’ button as Nick’s voice broke through the loud music. Covering her ears, she changed the CD to Limp Bizkit and turned it up to full blast. A sharp knock came to her door.
“Turn it off already!” her father shouted.
Amanda took out her CD and ran downstairs to the basement and inserted into the stereo there. She turned up the volume, her parents would never hear her from down here. She plopped down onto an expensive modern-looking sofa. Gazing up at the ceiling, she shivered, the basement gave her the creeps. It always had this cold feel to it. Empty. Lifeless. She longed for a pair of strong arms that she could wrap herself in. The feeling of being loved felt so warm. She curled herself into a ball and began crying quietly. It wasn’t long before her mother told her on the monitor that she had a visitor. She gazed out the walk out door and saw Alex outside. He knocked on the glass and let himself in when Amanda signaled that it wasn’t locked.
“Limp Bizkit eh?”
“Yeah.” Amanda answered simply. He took a seat beside her. “What do you want?” she asked without looking at him.
“Just to see you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Amanda asked turning around slightly to look at Alex. She found herself in a locked gaze with him. His eyes showed such pure emotions, making it difficult to pull away. He took a deep breath and leaned over and kissed her passionately.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
“What am I going to do now?” Amanda asked Michelle, “Do I go back to Nick like I always do? I don’t want to, I know that it’s not what I want. And Alex… he’s not making it any easier for me, neither is Nick.” she screams, annoyed at her situation, “I’m so pissed off. I like them both… and I can’t choose, and I know that I can’t drag the time on any longer, I have to come to a decision. Or else… they might both let me go… and I know that I love them both! Mich! Please help me…”
“Amanda,” Michelle sighed, “you know that I can’t help you, nor can anyone else, you have to help yourself. Right now, you can only hope that your affection for one of the guys fade a little, to help you make a decision. They’re both great guys, I can’t tell you who’s gonna be a better boyfriend.”
“But Michelle, how could I ever choose? Nick and I have gone through lots of things together and I do cherish our times together, and I once had thought that he was the only one that I would love that much, I would never meet anyone like him again. I was right, I never did meet anyone like him, but then Alex came along, he was so much more different than Nick… yet he had such a luring personality. I couldn’t help but fall in love with him… and then he told me that he loved me… I didn’t know how to handle everything. I was going to ignore the fact that I liked Alex, and let it slowly fade away. But then he came onto me so strong, that I couldn’t hold up. Also, conveniently, Nick wasn’t around either to help me push those feelings away.”
“I know Amanda, I know. I’m so sorry that I can’t help you. I really wish that I could… but, these things could only be decided for yourself.”
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Sunday morning and the light streaked through the curtains like blades of swords, slicing through the curtain. Amanda’s private line phone rang. She picked it up groggily.
“Who’s this?”
“Hey Sleeping Beauty. Wanna go to the mall with me today?”
“Alex?”
“Yeah it’s me.”
“I don’t think so. I don’t feel like going out today. Even if I did, I don’t think that it would be right for us to go out together now.”
“Hey sure, whatever, these things take time to cool. Personally, I don’t see the problem, you’ve got two choices, me or him and the better choice is so obvious–"
“How could you say that?” Amanda snapped, “I thought you and Nick are best friends? How could you take this all as a game? As if it’s no big deal or anything? It’s almost like you don’t care!” Amanda cried angrily, “I don’t want to talk to you anymore! Bye!” she slammed down the phone. She was wide awake now.
The phone rang again. Thinking it was Alex again, she snatched the phone angrily and shouted, “Didn’t I make it clear enough that I didn’t want to talk to you?”
There was silence, and then, “Uh… Amanda? This is Michelle.”
“Oh, sorry, I thought you were Alex.”
“Alex? Why would you think that?”
“Never mind, long story. tell you later. So why did you call?” Amanda replied tiredly.
“Oh yeah, sale at the mall today. Wondering if you were interested in hitting the shops with me today. Maybe could help clear your mind a little. Besides, I haven’t seen you out for ages!”
“You’re right, I’ve been moping around too much. What I really need is a little time to myself and my friends, take a break from all that love thing.”
“Alright, I’ll come pick you up at 12.”
“Alright, see you then.”
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Promptly at 12, Amanda heard the sound of a horn. She peeked outside the window and saw that Michelle had driven up onto her driveway already, and honking her horn playfully. She smiled and grabbed her bag off the chair and ran outside to greet Michelle.
“Hey! Ready to hit the malls?”
Amanda laughed, it was like old times, with no guy problems, “You bet! Let’s go!” She climbed into the car as Michelle sped away.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
“Shit, you and I bought so much stuff I don’t even know if its going to fit in your car!” Amanda exclaimed.
“Yeah! Where do you want to go now?”
“I don’t know, it’s pretty late actually, lets dump the stuff into your car and then head for the disco?” Amanda suggested.
“Sure, I guess we could hook up some guys eh?” Michelle joked. Amanda didn’t laugh.
“Michelle, how could I possibly think about guys right now? I just wanna go down to the disco, to chill out, maybe get drunk, whatever. No guys involved.”
“I’m sorry. But the guys there will probably come onto us first anyway.”
“I guess we’ll just have to turn them down then.”
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Nick held the phone up to his ear. The ringing continued on and on and yet he just hoped that it wasn’t because Amada didn’t want to pick up the phone. Each time there was silence, he had imagined the phone being picked up but then there was always the ring, answering his question. After the fifth ring, he sighed and slowly placed the phone back into its cradle. He didn’t do anything wrong. Could he help it if he was too busy? He truly believed that if you loved someone enough, no matter the distance between them, the love would stay strong. He bit his lower lip as he opened his wallet. A picture of Amanda with him out at sea fell out. A tear rolled down his cheek. He only wished that everything would be like before soon.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
It was a little early for the real crowd to get going down at the disco as Michelle and Amanda stepped inside. But nonetheless, there were still a lot of people and the music was pumping loud, overtaking the sounds from the people. Amanda’s hopes dropped. All of a sudden, she knew that she didn’t belong. She didn’t want to be there anymore, with all these people that she didn’t know. All she wanted was… some time off everything. She turned next to her to find that Michelle had disappeared. Looking around, she realized that Michelle was dancing intimately with a hot guy. She sighed, knowing that she’ll have to find some other way home. She felt out of place, and wanted to leave, but she knew that she couldn’t cut in to Michelle, she’d never forgive her. Amanda sat down at the bar and a bartender came to her asking what she wanted. Just as she was about to speak, she recognized someone. Alex. He was hidden in a dark corner. Standing up, she fought her way through the crowd towards him, hoping to speak to him alone. As she approached him, she found that he wasn’t alone. he was kissing a brunette, holding her down against the wall. She stared unbelievably as no sound came from her throat. Alex felt that someone was staring at him and turned around, finding Amanda staring at him and the girl. He caught her gaze, and she ran away.
“No Amanda! Wait! I can explain!” His voice was drowned out by the music. He tried to run after her, but she was already gone.