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Amanda laid her head down onto the soft surface of her pillow. She shut her eyes tightly and tried to imagine Nick in her mind. Opening her eyes in despair, she sighed heavily. Why am I so unhappy? she thought as she turned to her side. I have everything I want and need, then why am I so depressed? Nick is here with me… but… but even when I hold him, he seems a thousand miles away. Being with him is just so hard, always knowing that we aren’t going to be forever… Why can’t he be there when I need him? Amanda asked herself as a single tear began to roll down her cheek. The door suddenly opened and Amanda wiped the tears off her face quickly with her sleeves. It was her father.
“Phone Amanda,” he told her and then left the door open.
Standing up, she walked to the phone in the corridor and said, “Hello?” while sniffing.
“Amanda? It’s me, Nick.”
“Yeah Nick?” Amanda asked while sniffing heavily and wiping her face.
“Are you okay? You sound like you’re crying.”
“No, I’m fine. What did you want?”
“Um… maybe I shouldn’t tell you this,” Nick hesitated.
“No, tell me, you’re going to have to tell me sooner or later right? No, let me guess, you have to leave early for a tour?” Amanda suddenly asked bitterly.
“Well yea–”
“Oh, so I’m right. When are you leaving? No, let me guess again, sometime tomorrow morning when the whole world isn’t awake yet?” Amanda continued, not letting Nick say a word. She was crying again but she didn’t bother to wipe the tears away.
“Amanda, are you okay? Are you crying again? Talk to me!”
“No, I am fine! Good luck with your tour!” Amanda slammed the phone. Crawling back into bed, she now realized why she was so angry, because she’s not, she was scared that Nick would be taken away by someone else.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Morning made its way through the curtains as Amanda woke up to a pound of the door. Rubbing her eyes, she wondered who it could be, so early in the morning. Slumping down the stairs, she reached out to open the door to reveal a very worried looking Nick.
“See Frack, I told you, you didn’t need the whole entire army here to break open the door. She could open it herself,” Brian muttered sarcastically.
Nick ignored him as he hugged Amanda tightly. Looking bewildered, she mouthed to Brian. “What’s wrong?”
“Frack, get off her before she gets flat after being tormented by your weight,” Brian commented.
“Bri!" Nick said in exasperation, "I am not fat... I'm phat... spelt, P-H-A-T."
“Nick, um… what’s wrong?” Amanda asked as she stifled a yawn.
“Uh, oh yeah, Frick, why did I say I wanted to come here again?” Nick turned around to ask Brian.
“I have no idea Frack, you wanted to come here,” Brian shrugged helplessly.
“Hey, you know, if you guys just came here to stand at my porch, you don’t need me as an audience. Seeing you guys is like watching ‘Dumb And Dumber’ but I’ve already seen that movie like, 99 times so I’m kinda sick of it… Now if you guys don’t mind, I would like to tell you that most people would be doing something called sleeping at this hour,” Amanda rubbed her eyes and made a movement to close the door. Brian stepped his foot in.
“Oh gee, I didn’t know you were so sarcastic Amanda,” Brian retorted as he walked inside the house.
“Oh geez! I just woke up! How do you expect me to be? Charming or wonderful? Don't comment on my hair either 'cause I know it's pointing somewhere near heaven. okay, what do you want?” Amanda exclaimed tiredly as she collapsed in a chair.
“Bri, you still haven’t told me why I wanted to come here!” Nick whined as he clenched his teeth and tried to recall what he wanted to do.
“Hey! It’s not like, it’s my problem! Besides, I told you to write it down! I knew that you didn’t have enough brain cells to remember that!” Brain rolled his eyes and leaned against the table.
"Who'd be stupid enough to write it down? That's the tackiest thing I've heard since yesterday when you said you wanted ketchup McDonald ketchup in your spaghetti!" Nick said.
"It was a joke!" Brian explained to Amanda who was rolling her eyes.
"A lame one as well... no one was laughing Bri!"
“I don’t care what you guys want. I’m going back to sleep,” Amanda replied as she started to climb the stairs slowly, leaving Nick and Brian alone, still trying to remember what Nick had wanted to say.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Dear Diary,
I find it almost impossible to believe that I have found someone so perfect for me. He’s perfect, but why do I feel that I do not belong with him? No matter what I do, no matter how much I try to hide, I can’t deny that the close bond that Nick and I once shared isn’t that close anymore. Gradually, we’re starting to drift apart. Am I getting bored of him? I can’t, or can I? Why are things never forever? Is it because that I’ve found myself being very attracted to Alex– ”
Amanda stopped and gasped as she read her last few sentences of her diary entry. Really? she whispered to herself as she lay on her back. Why would I think about something as weird as that? She crossed out the last few sentences and wondered if this statement was true or not.