When I got home, the house was the description of total complete silence. So quiet I can almost hear a strange whirring sound in my ear. I let out a short scream and slammed the door behind me. Kicking off my shoes, I slouched down on the couch, almost immediately, the phone rang. I looked around and it wasn’t in the phone cradle. I found it wedged between the couch.
“Yeah?” I said.
“Hey Rach, just wanted to ask if you were okay. You were kind of acting strange back there.” It was Geneve.
“Oh, nothing. I’m just feeling a bit tired.”
“Are you sure? It seems more than that and when I walked in you and Justin’s face seemed so red that it looked like you were suffering form severe lack of oxygen.”
I almost wanted to laugh, “Oh really? I’m sure it was just your room too hot. Anyway, I gotta go. I’m so tired that I can collapse right now.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. She just didn’t feel like lying to Geneve about what happened.
“Yeah sure, go get some shut eye. See ya later, alright?”
“Yeah sure,” I put down the phone. Again almost immediately, the phone rang. Frustrated, I grabbed the phone next to me and practically growled into it.
“What do you want?”
“Whoa, whoa. I thought that you were only like that in the mornings!”
“Who’s this?”
“I would’ve thought that you would have recognized my voice by now since you screamed at me twice in the same day.”
“Sorry Nick. Bad mood.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Nah… you wouldn’t understand,” I said dismissingly.
“If you don’t tell me, duh I wouldn’t understand.”
“Are you always this determined?”
“Pretty much.”
“You wouldn’t want to know about it anyway. Just having some problems with my love life.”
“That’s why I’m here. To fill in that space,” Nick joked. But in a way, I knew that he meant what he said as well.
“Oh Nick, didn’t we talk about this before. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m not attracted to you enough.”
“Alright, alright. So who’s this guy?” Nick almost sounded disappointed.
I took a deep breath before starting, “Are you sure you want to hear this?”
“Yes Rach, anytime this year would be great.”
“Ok, ok… is name is Justin. He’s Geneve’s brother.”
“Yeah…?”
“Well, you see, you know how I was supposed to go to Geneve’s house to help her clean up? Well I did and then Geneve had to go get Socks some food–”
“Wait a minute… Socks?”
“That’s her cat , anyway so she left and she told me and Justin to go upstairs to start cleaning up. Well we went upstairs at first we kind of joked around but then nothing. We just sat in complete silence and then I caught him staring at me and then he just suddenly kissed me and I didn’t resist. He then pulled away and told me that my lipstick was very attractive–”
“Wow, gotta get that lipstick sometime. What’s it called?”
“Nick! Do you want to hear this or not?”
“Alright, you wanted to ask him if he likes you or not and then he said that he didn’t know right?” Nick said.
“How did you know?” I said, totally surprised that he knew what had happened.
“Oh he told me… just kidding! That’s like the typical male kind of answer when you ask him if he likes you when you’re not anything yet.”
“Oh… so does he?”
“Who knows? It could be the hormones or he had been liking you a long time now. What was he like when you saw him today?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, was he nervous? Cool? Not talkative?”
“Now coming to the think of it, he was kind of different. I mean he didn’t tease me like he used to do all the time. I mean I’d expect him to pick something like he usually does, but today, nothing.”
“Well then I think he likes you.”
“What do I do about it then?”
“Do you like him?”
“Yeah, I mean I’ve always thought he was sexy and–”
“Not asking if you like his body but him Rach, there’s a difference.”
I hesitated. I never really actually considered the thought whether I really liked him or whether it was just physical attraction.
“Rachel?”
“Uh… to tell you the truth… I really don’t know.”
“Well then I guess you’re like him then. Just let things happen naturally alright? That’s the best thing I can advise you to do alright? As much as I’d hate to see you guys together, I can’t do anything to stop you guys… Wanna come out?”
“Didn’t you ask me that this morning already?”
“Yeah I think I did but then this morning you were busy, are you now?”
“Well no–”
“Great, I’ll be over in… where do you live by the way?”
“Nick don’t really think–”
“Come on Rach, it’ll be fun.”
“Ok then. 10th Garden Ave. alright?”
“Be there in half an hour.” and then he hung up on me. I sighed and dropped the cordless onto the floor. It would become much more confusing if I suddenly realized that it was Nick who I really had feelings for. Who knew? I can never be sure of my feelings. When I kissed Justin, it felt so good and longing that I was almost sure that it was Justin I want… even though I have never had feelings for him. Could it be just physical attraction and not anything else? Is it Nick who would be the one to last? I shook my head as if to throw off my headache and fell asleep.