A month had passed and I haven’t heard from Nick. I had almost forgotten his existence (well, not really just that he didn’t really seem to be significant in my life anymore). I guess thanks to Nick’s absence, he had allowed me and Justin to grow closer. One night, after a date with Justin I opened the door to hear the phone ringing to greet me. I waved a quick bye to Justin and ran to answer the phone.
“Helloooooo?” I said happily into the phone as I was struggling to pull off my shoe with one hand.
“Hey whassup?” I could make out a voice through the static.
I hesitated. This voice was all too familiar, “Nick?” I asked uncertainly.
“Duh it’s me! So how’s it going?”
“Everything’s great here, how are you? When are you coming back?” I asked. it has been so long that I’ve forgotten how easy it was to talk to Nick. Familiar emotions flooded through me. I wanted to see Nick.
“I’m fine, we’re all great and guess what? I’m coming back tomorrow! And you’ll never believe what I’m bringing back with me!” Nick sounded very excited. I was wondering what his ‘surprise’ was.
“Really? Tomorrow? But it’s so soon!”
“You don’t want me back?” asked Nick, confused.
“No, no! That’s not it, just can’t believe that it went by so fast. So what are you bringing back?”
“That’s what a surprise is, I can’t tell! You’ll see, are you coming to get me?”
“Actually, I can’t! Sorry! I’ve got to babysit my cousins!” I told him, “How about I go over to your place after I babysit?”
“Sure, come by after 3, I think that’s when we’ll be back. When are you babysitting?”
“At 12. 2 hours with those brats!”
Nick laughed, “That’s not nice! Anyway, just call me before you get here, alright? Hey I’ve got to go pack alright? The guys are pestering me right now because they’re staring at my beautiful stuff that’s on top of theirs.”
“It’s called a mess Nick! And it’s in the way! Not on top!” someone shouted in the background, “don’t expect us to touch that crap on your shirt there either!”
“It’s breakfast!” Nick yelled back, “Sorry, they’re like that. Anyway, I’ll see ya, ok?”
“Yeah sure.”
“And Rachel?”
“Yes?”
“I’ve missed you. Bye.”
Hanging up the phone, I wonder what Nick meant by that. And I wondered how I felt towards him now. Yawning, I was too tired to think so I climbed up the stairs and collapsed on my bed, not bothering to brush my teeth or changing.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
The next morning, my alarm clock rang and I sat up to find Justin sitting on my bed with a smirk on his face. I rubbed my eyes to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming but Justin was still there. Kind of annoyed I felt like he was always there. That was good… but not all the time.
“Morning beautiful,” he greeted me.
“How did you get in?” I said as soon as I sat up. I didn’t even bother to say ‘good morning’ to him.
“Found your spare set of keys hidden under your mat.”
“Well, what do you want then?” I asked him.
“Nothing. Just wanted to see you.”
I shifted uncomfortably, “Justin, look. I know that we’re going out and everything… but sometimes I need some space of my own as well,” I didn’t dare look up to see Justin’s reaction. He was sweet, he was nice… just that things didn’t seem right. It was almost as if he was too nice. I’d actually prefer the Justin that cut off a clump of my hair when I was asleep better. That Justin had a sense of humor, he was himself. But right now, all Justin was trying to do was be with me 24/7 and it was getting on my nerves. I turn around and he’s there. I thought that he was getting too involved with my life. I sneaked a peek at him.
Justin blinked back, “I didn’t mean to not give you space. I just wanted you to be happy. If you don’t want me around, I could always go away.”
“That’s not what I meant. I mean, I do like to see you around, always being there for me, but things like this… it is a bit uncomfortable.”
“Alright,” Justin said, with a hint of hurt in his voice, “I guess you want me to go away right now?”
“Well, not that I don’t want you to stay, I’m busy the entire day. Sorry. I’ve got some coursework to do and then I’ve gotta babysit my cousins.”
“Ok… so, do you want me to pick you up?”
“Nah it’s ok, I can just walk there.”
“So you’re not free after babysitting?” Justin asked hopefully. I looked at him and couldn’t help but give him a hug.
“No I’m sorry, I’m meeting uh… some old friends afterwards. You go out yourself. Do those guy things that you do.”
“I guess I’ll go now… call me?”
“Yeah, I’ll call you tonight or something,” I led Justin downstairs to the door, just as he was about to step outside, I told him, “And Justin, it was real sweet of you to drop by this morning.”
He grinned, “It was nothing, in fact, I think I’ll do it again tomorrow!” he joked.
“Yeah you can if you’re cruising for a black eye!” I waved good bye to him and shut the door behind me. Walking up the stairs, I realized that my feelings for Justin weren’t exactly clear to me. I didn’t really do anything for him, it didn’t feel right but already he was doing so much for me. I’m so scared that I’ll hurt him so much more in the end.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
As I drove up the driveway of Nick’s house, I realized that it was my first time there. Getting out of the car, I walked up to the door and pressed the doorbell. “ooooook, apparently, Nick is still a Barney fan,” I said to myself when I heard the doorbell. I was excited to see Nick, we would have so much to catch up on. But being around Nick is dangerous, if I’m not careful, I might go too close and end up hurting both Justin and Nick. I stood there on the porch waiting for someone to open the door when no one did for ages. I knew that there were people inside because I could hear them talking loudly, or were they arguing? I pressed the doorbell again and finally I heard someone opening the door. It was Nick.
“Nick!” I exclaimed, “Great to see you again!” I gave him a hug.
“Hey! Come on in!” he opened the door fully so that I could get in. His house had one very definite character – definitely messy and very screwed up.
“What took you so long?” I asked him.
“Well, me and the guys were arguing who should go get the door, we were all pissed off at the doorbell as you probably noticed. But then it stopped so no one could be bothered to get the door. Then you pressed the bell again and the guys got pissed off all over again so I had to go get it.” Nick explained as he took me inside and led me to the den where everybody was.
“Hey,” I said to them all, they turned around and greeted me. I noticed a blonde girl looking at me with eyes that read, ‘Get outta here, you’re not welcome’. I lifted an eyebrow and didn’t say anything.
“We’re all just hanging out, resting after the tour. And hey, meet Steph!” Nick pointed to the girl. She stood up and put on a fake smile.
“Hey, you’re Rachel right? Nick has said so much about you!” she gushed and slid her arms around Nick’s waist. Nick smiled.
“Uh… ok,” I said uncertainly as I glanced down at her hands. In a way, I felt disappointed, what was she doing here? Anyone could see that she was a total fake, so how come Nick looks like he’s totally in love with her? The movie that they were just watching had ended so I had the honor of choosing another one. But with so limited choices because they only rented two videos, so the one that was left was chosen, ‘Coyote Ugly’. I’ve already seen it before but I didn’t mind so much since Adam Garcia was so hot. I took a seat next to Brian, which was also the seat farthest away from Nick. I didn’t know why but things with Nick didn’t feel right, I didn’t feel comfortable with him anymore and especially not with that slut clinging onto Nick like a poisonous leech. I stared at her, and realized that Stephanie wasn’t half bad. She was actually quite pretty with blonde hair and green eyes. She caught me staring at her and I looked away.
“Is that Nick’s ‘surprise’?” I whispered to Brian.
He looked at me and said, “Disappointed?”
“Not really, just thought that he could do much better. It’s so obvious that she’s a fake. She just putting up an act for Nick, and he’s sucking it all up.”
Brian shrugged, “We all don’t like her but we don’t dare tell Nick that since he seems to really like her.”
“How did they meet anyway?”
“Guys, if you’re gonna talk, go somewhere else, we can’t hear what the babe is saying,” Nick told us.
“Whatever,” I muttered and stood up and motioned for Brian to come with me. We sat at the kitchen table, but it was barely the perfect place to talk with pizza boxes, Chinese take outs and other unrecognizable items strewn all over the place. I was surprised that the place didn’t smell.
“Is this really that important to you?” Brian asked once we’ve sat down.
“No, just curious you know.” I knew that I was lying.
“Jeez, if you didn’t really care, then you didn’t have to drag me out of the movie! That was the best bit! The babes were dancing on the bar man!” Brian said with a smile on his face.
I smiled back, “so… tell me,” I said casually. I wanted to get back on the subject without sounding too concerned.
“I knew you cared. But I’m telling you, don’t get too involved. He just got over you so I would stay away if I were you, you don’t want him heartbroken again do you?”
My heart fell, he was over me? For some cheap slut? It was all my fault, I was totally pushing him away, I didn’t give him any chances. I didn’t say anything.
Brian waved his hand in front of my face, “Hello? Rach? Are you alright?”
I snapped out of it, “Yeah, I’m fine. So how did they meet?”
“Oh it wasn’t really that hard when Stephanie kept throwing herself at him. She’s a model and she was in the photo shoot with us.”
“I see, and Nick’s stupid enough to actually like her.”
“Yeah. So how are you? How are things with the other guy?” Brian asked.
I sighed, “I don’t know. I’m so confused, my feelings are all over the place. I never know what I want. And Justin… well, I don’t know if I’m regretting or something but I just can’t be myself when I’m with him. It feels so.. bad you know. In a way, trapped even. But he’s done so much for me and I haven’t done anything for him. I feel like I owe him you know. This morning I woke up and he was sitting on my bed.”
“Do you think that you like Nick?” Brian asked.
“I was sure that I didn’t then, but now, I’m not sure. I don’t know. Does it seem like it?”
“Yeah, very much. Well you know, if you don’t like Justin, you should really end it with him before it’s too late, you are owing him much more if you continue to lie to him.”
“But you see Bri, I really like Justin…”
“I can’t help you like someone Rach, you gotta find out who you like better, you can’t keep two. And you better make your decision quick before Nick goes any further with Miss. I-broke-a-nail-so-I-can’t-get-the-door.”
Despite of the mood of the conversation, I laughed, “Yeah I guess,” but then I sighed, “I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt anyone…”